No, my darling. There is a huge chance that this is not entirely true. In fact, almost all representatives of the stronger sex are wondering how many adventures there were before him? Why does his chosen one give a better blowjob than Sasha Grey, but at the same time says: “You are only my second.” A true male, who does not want to share the prey, begins to look for a catch. And... he finds it. "How so? She swore I was second, but I’m thirty-third.”
It is very important to find an excuse for the person, understand him and forgive him. But stop. Why did the girl have many sexual partners? The greatest public philosophers on VKontakte have been thinking about this topic for years, but the answer to this question, no matter how sad it may sound, can only be given by the lady herself. Each has its own reasons: one lacked attention, while the other simply liked the process of intercourse. But you shouldn’t even try to guess on this topic. It’s better to find out what the fairer sex themselves have to say about this.
“He paid little attention to me, so I slept with his best friend, father and brother!”i
At first glance, “a typical representative of the oldest profession,” you say. And you will be absolutely wrong. Many authoritative psychologists say that such behavior is characteristic of extremely insecure individuals. They feel deprived, it seems to them that no one notices them, and in general, apart from the everyday bustle, they have nothing else.
In this way, these cute girls are trying to raise their self-esteem, earn the attention of the opposite sex, bask in its abundance and finally feel needed. Of course, betrayal is very bad, it is a mortal sin, and so on and so forth. But who is to blame for such a situation? Both are to blame. The lady does not know how to be faithful, and the boy does not know how to choose companions, that’s all.
How to solve the existing problem.
First of all, you need to make sure that your husband’s love for his ex-wife is really a fact and not your speculation. Therefore, we need to talk about what hurts. Your partner may not realize that this situation is hurting you! Men are not masters in understanding emotions. But don’t dictate to him what to do or how to behave. First of all, you need to talk about yourself: how you imagine this problem and your relationship. You have the right to show your emotions and offer some solutions. If you love your chosen one and want to preserve your union, be wise. Sometimes the first ex-wife can be unforgiving and guilty of deliberately obstructive behavior. She is trying to worsen your relationship with her ex-husband. And it’s not necessarily her goal to get him back. She operates on the principle “don’t let anyone get you!” When clarifying the relationship with your partner, this fact must also be taken into account.
When your ex-wife disrupts your plans for the first time by calling your partner, for example, right before going out to see friends or to the cinema, answer in accordance with his expectations: “yes, dear, of course, go.” In the second case, ask directly whether it is so important? After all, your man is not a firefighter or an ambulance. If that doesn't stop him, let him go. After the third time, just stop rewarding: keep a cool distance. He will notice this and will find out what is happening. Explain that you want to protect your family and yourself.
If these tips help you, then the psychologists did not work on the task in vain. But there is no panacea for all ills. There are different situations, different characters in people, different dependence of partners on each other. In this case, it is better to contact a psychologist with your specific problem. Be happy.
"Yes. I slept with him. So what if the day before yesterday was different? This is my life"2
This is what a typical “dragonfly woman” will say. And she will be absolutely right! No one has the right to judge her for this. Her life is her own business. Yes, perhaps, years later, she will turn back and see more than a dozen men, maybe even a hundred, perhaps she will reproach herself for this, but now she feels good, now she likes it.
This type of people is not used to “staying” in one place for a long time. They are constantly looking for new opportunities, new emotions and sensations, including sex. The only problem is that most of them never have time to stop and start a family, and then: “Long live forty-three cats and a kitty!”
What to do if a husband loves his ex-wife
There should be no reason for a husband to talk about his ex-woman often. Isolated cases don’t count, because she was part of his life. The man you love should never make you feel like he would rather be with her than with you. It should develop your present relationship and not get stuck in the past. If a man is free from his past, his priorities will be real family and family happiness. You need to understand that for a number of reasons your husband may communicate with his ex-wife, for example, about teaching and raising children. This is natural as long as the boundaries of what is permitted are not violated.
Women must remember that what they endure is up to them. Never allow anyone to have that kind of power over you: neither your husband nor his ex-wife. If you notice even a couple of the above signs, your dignity is at risk. Don't wait until you are publicly humiliated by two people who, believe me, don't think about you at all. But in your real family there is no love.
Love should never make you feel inferior. There is no need to waste time on such relationships, because there is an opportunity to find a worthy person.
To prevent situations like this from happening, follow this advice: never date a person who ended the relationship no more than three months ago. Typically, you may simply be used as a consolation and end up encountering the scenarios mentioned above. Try to be absolutely sure that the problems that you both face will always be associated only with you and with him. There can always be difficulties in a relationship, but there should not be a third person involved, especially an ex-wife.
"Crap! Yes, I know that I ran away from my own wedding. But this biker was so cool!”3
Adrenaline junkies. But they should not be confused with “women dragonflies”. Mostly young girls who are in no way related to the type presented above. Such young ladies are too young to think with their heads. Therefore, they think... ahem... instincts. They are attracted by danger and adrenaline.
Because of this, they go from one “apasnav boy” to another and cannot decide which of them is cooler. Of course, over time, this will pass. The drug addict will turn into an adult woman, acquire a brain and begin to choose her life partners more carefully. She will most likely have a husband and a child, but for now... “Oh, were you in prison?!” ...Ohh...
Strategy for getting rid of your ex
What to do? First of all, you need to remain calm. Hysterics, tears and scandals will not help here, but will only harm. So he will also begin to regret the past, because in such situations they remember mostly good things. Do not stoop to prohibitions and ultimatums: “Either she or I.” Manipulation has never made any relationship stronger, believe me. Talk to him frankly. Say that you are uncomfortable with their communication, tell them what you think and feel about their friendship, without insulting it. Ask him to explain why he communicates with her so often. What does this give him? Try to understand him. Don't resort to accusations and reproaches. Then act based on the information you receive. If he declares that he loves both her and you, and cannot choose between you, it is up to you to decide whether you want to fight for such a man. Think about whether you really care about him enough to get involved in a war for supremacy with your ex.
If he still insists that they are just friends, use the “substitution” technique. Come up with joint hobbies that he will like and will take priority over communicating with his ex. Forays into nature, jogging in the evenings, going to a cat show. Any joint leisure activity that brings him pleasure will do. Get his friends involved. Go on a visit, organize joint trips, plan your weekend. Change his attention, show him that you are the best girl he has ever had. And over time, his communication with his ex will fade away. Of course, you should be patient, but if a man is really dear to you, you will have to be patient. Praise him, admire him. Be light, gentle - and he will understand that your ex is not even worth your little finger.
“Yes, I just really want sex with someone else!”4
Yes! Yes! Yes! Every boy dreams of dragging a cute nymphomaniac into his bed and helping her realize her dirtiest desires. But can he? Nymphomania is a type of mental disorder that manifests itself in an uncontrollable desire to get intimate with someone. Nymphomania is good only in the dreams of fifteen-year-old teenagers.
In fact, it significantly complicates the existence of women in general. Yes, she had many sexual partners, but what good was that? It is especially difficult for those who developed the disease in childhood. This complicates the process of developing social interaction with society, since children are often afraid of their thoughts and desires and withdraw into themselves.
Your relationship is moving too fast
If mad love is not involved, or you yourself did not cause the collapse of his previous relationship, then this scenario looks a little suspicious. A romance that just ended in a breakup (and even more so, a marriage) brought a certain experience to a man, and usually not the most positive one. Skepticism, disappointment, and a certain cynicism will appear. Therefore, when starting a new relationship after breaking up with an ex, a man will “blow water” so as not to repeat his previous experience.
And the fact that such a comrade gets a new woman, barely saying goodbye to the previous one, persistently hints at the extreme frivolity of his intentions. He can quickly start a new relationship in order to prove to himself and others (and most importantly, his ex) how in demand he is. This is a particularly relevant reason if the man was the abandoned party.
He may simply be afraid of loneliness, and it is important for him to have someone nearby. It may also be difficult for him to cope without sex and household care.
As you can see, there are many reasons, they can move a man both individually and in combination. But there is no talk of love for a new woman. Most likely, he has not yet forgotten his ex, he still has feelings for her, and he needs a new relationship in order to “inject himself and forget.”
“Well, what should we do? This one promised a car, and this one is taking him to Sochi, who should I choose?!”5
And here are the professionals from the first point. Society is extremely skeptical of such young ladies. The girls snort contemptuously, and the boys look away disapprovingly. But what if we were at least honest with ourselves? In fact, everyone wants to live beautifully and richly without spending much effort. But this type of dolls worked out quite well. They sleep with men - the men give them money. The scheme is simple and clear.
But few of these young ladies found such a guy on the first or second try. No, of course, there are virgins, pure in soul and body, real angels who are simply incredibly lucky. But, as practice shows, many ladies go, so to speak, up the career ladder. First a boy on a bicycle, then on a scooter, then a moped, Lada Kalina, Mercedes. This is where the N number of guys she went through are recruited from.
He talks about her often
If your man constantly mentions his ex, even casually or in a negative context, then this is a sure sign that he still loves her and cannot forget.
No matter how much you would like to think that these are random slips of the tongue or “quite natural, since they recently broke up,” this is not the case at all. Of course, a loved one is not so easy to forget, and in the depths of your soul you can remember him for the rest of your life. But if memories of his ex constantly burst out loud to him, this means that she is very firmly stuck in his head.
And the man, apparently, doesn’t even try very hard to forget the past woman if he cannot control and not talk about her with his new girlfriend. At the same time, he unconsciously shows that the new relationship means very little to him. After all, a normal man cannot help but understand that constant reminders of his past romances will be unpleasant for a woman. But he doesn’t take this into account, which means that for him you are a temporary and insignificant phenomenon.
