How can you not disgrace yourself in bed after the fir party?

What are the types of failures in bed, and what to do about them?

Psychologists and sexologists say that all sexual failures are divided into two large categories: physiological and psychological. The first, as you already understood, are associated with the insufficiently efficient functioning of some body systems. For example, men may suffer from the absence or insufficient strength of an erection, while women may suffer from a lack of lubrication.

If to eliminate physiological problems it is enough to visit a doctor and undergo a course of treatment, then the psychological reasons for failures are much more serious. You will have to work with them on your own, or with the help of a psychotherapist (if the situation worsens). I would like to dwell on such problems in more detail.

Women's failures in bed and their solution

The most common female problem is the inability to achieve orgasm due to lack of arousal. How will the less sensitive partner react to this? Most likely, the man will begin to accuse the woman of frigidity. And if such reproaches are thrown at a girl often, then she will either lose interest in sex altogether, or begin to simulate to please her partner.

What to do about it? Tips for men

Spend more time on foreplay. Girls, with very rare exceptions, need 2-3 times longer than men to become aroused and reach the peak of pleasure.
Pay attention to the little things. The environment, smells, noises, lighting - all this can affect a woman's sexual desire for both the better and the worse.
Compliment the woman. Perhaps the partner’s release does not occur due to worries about her appearance. Some women, even during sexual intercourse, worry about the extra cm on their waist.
If it doesn’t work out, don’t insist. It’s better to talk frankly than to try with all your might to knock the long-awaited orgasm out of a woman.

The doctor debunked myths about the causes of failure in bed

This trouble has always been a topic for greasy jokes. And there are so many myths surrounding unsuccessful sex...

Myth 1

Just age

You should not be sure that if you are 25, there is nothing to fear. There are dozens of reasons - from acute prostatitis to chronic fatigue - that can make a young man helpless in bed. And there are many examples of people enjoying a full life in adulthood.

“If in the first 2-3 years of a relationship spontaneity in sex is better, then in couples with experience this does not work,” says sexologist Alexander Paleev. — It’s better to talk through some points here - this will diversify the relationship and return interest in intimate life.

Myth 2

Prostatitis is to blame

There is an opinion that most failures in bed can be attributed to prostatitis.

— Prostatitis, thanks to advertising, is perceived by us as something that puts an end to a man. This is not true at all,” says urologist Viktor Zharov. — Acute prostatitis is treated with antibiotics, and for chronic prostatitis, sex is even indicated: this is an excellent prostate massage that restores the functions of the organ.

In addition, medicine can cope with almost any cause of erectile dysfunction, if it is caused by physical disorders in the body.

Main myth

This is a fiasco

The man - far from a teenager - was defeated. Immediately, uncertainty and the thought are born that this is the beginning of the end of his career as a lover.

“Sexual failures happen to everyone,” says Anton Paleev. — A man, often unconsciously, feels a drop in testosterone. In fear of losing his sexuality, he begins to do stupid things...

Don't worry about trifles. And to be sure next time, you can take an erection enhancer in advance. Then everything will definitely work out!

FOLK REMEDIES

Chopped walnuts with honey

Take one tablespoon three times a day after meals. Truly a royal remedy for increasing potency. The fact that honey and nuts affect male strength has been known since ancient times, but this was only available to very wealthy men. It's good that we live in a different era!

Decoctions of St. John's wort, parsnip and hop cones

Everything is brewed separately in the proportions of two tablespoons per glass of boiling water. Mixes when cold. After straining, take 50 milliliters three times a day.

Dairy products

They also have a great effect on male strength, provided, of course, that you take them regularly.

NUMBERS

According to the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation, most Russians begin sexual activity at 16–17 years of age. Moreover, the average age of marriage among women is 24–26 years, and among men – 26–29 years. And according to VTsIOM, more than 20 percent of Russians are sure that sex before marriage is unacceptable.

Men's failures in bed and their solutions

Guys also face problems of an intimate nature, and the first on their list is sudden loss of erection. A loving and understanding partner will react calmly to such failure - who doesn’t? But if a girl is not tactful enough, then she can make fun of a man, calling him impotent.

How to react correctly to such failures of a partner in sex? Tips for girls

If the erection weakens or disappears altogether, switch to other intimate caresses. For example, you can have oral sex with a guy or pay attention to various erogenous zones on his body.
Monitor the level of stress in your man's life. Partial erectile dysfunction occurs in guys who are constantly nervous. Give your loved one a massage after a hard day at work or take a bath together.
Use sex toys. In adult stores there are a lot of products that allow you to prolong or strengthen an erection - erection rings, arousal creams, etc.
Try new positions, play role-playing games, realize your wildest fantasies and try in every possible way to diversify your sex life.

In the article “What to do if a man has lost arousal and interest in sex,” I give other useful tips in this case. Tell me, have you ever used these recommendations? You can answer honestly, all answers are anonymous.

Fiasco in bed

Is it true that in most cases the cause of erectile dysfunction is psychological?

According to various sources, psychology underlies erection problems in 70-90% of cases. Despite the stubble and menacing appearance, the psyche of the stronger sex is gentle, and it is enough for an accidental misfire to immediately form a syndrome of expectation of failure. Each next time the man is ready for defeat. And if there is anxiety in the intimate sphere, good luck. Additional alarming factors include a woman’s poorly spoken word, a remark that is firmly imprinted in the male brain and completely kills self-confidence. Well, a change of partner, oddly enough, is also a significant risk factor for “psychological impotence”; the fear of falling flat on your face may well materialize.

Other enemies of erection.

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Are you at risk for seasonal depression?

In men, this is primarily an excess of adipose tissue. It contains substances that reduce the concentration of the main male sex hormone - testosterone. Under the influence of fat, a man develops insufficiency of the gonads, the size of the genital organs decreases, and the erection decreases. Observation of men who lost weight and took up sports has reliably proven a significant improvement in erection after returning to optimal weight.

How does prostatitis affect the development of erectile dysfunction?

Chronic inflammation of the prostate gland affects potency, but mainly again psychologically. A man experiences unpleasant sensations in the genitals, constantly thinks about it, and begins to fear possible consequences, which do not take long to arrive. And in this sense, curing prostatitis helps a man get rid of fears and improve erectile function.

Many men are sure that if a problem with an erection occurs once, then it is forever.

There are many ways to treat erectile dysfunction: from special psychological training and drug treatment, to injection and hardware techniques and even penile prosthetics.

If we look at global statistics, more than 90% of men suffering from erectile dysfunction return to having sex after some kind of treatment. Especially if these are young men, whose problems are almost always psychological. By the way, one of the methods for treating erectile dysfunction in such cases is the use of an erection-stimulating drug immediately before sexual intercourse, followed by a gradual reduction in the dosage of the drug until its complete withdrawal. This allows a man to feel confident in his abilities and get rid of existing psychological problems.

STOSN is a situation that requires special attention

Psychologists and sexologists have noticed that over the past few years, young men suffering from the syndrome of anxious anticipation of sexual failure (ASF) have begun to see them. As a rule, this problem makes itself felt before the age of 30-35, and is detected in impressionable and sensitive guys who are unsure of themselves. The causes of the syndrome can be both physiological abnormalities (for example, STDs or prostatitis), and alcohol abuse, frequent viewing of porn, or even banal adultery.

Girls, if your partner suffers from this problem, then be as gentle as possible towards him. Don’t make fun of the guy, don’t insist on going to the doctor - the man must make this decision himself. In some cases, even a simple confidential conversation can help, during which the man will open up to you and tell you about the fears that haunt him.

Whatever the reason for bed failures, they can all be solved. You can find a way out faster if you regularly read articles in the “Love and Sex” section on Pavel Rakov’s official website. And for those who do not even admit the theoretical possibility of sexual problems with a partner, I advise you to enroll in the “Secrets of Women’s Happiness” or “Breakthrough Strategy” courses. There you will learn to recognize alarming symptoms in time and prevent troubles before they occur.

Share with me your thoughts about bed failures: what do you think is the cause? What problem solving methods have you already tried?

What should the male half do if there are misfires in sex?

The reasons why a man “doesn’t get hard” - if we are not talking about a systemic disease - are actually not so few. Stress, alcohol, unnecessary thoughts in the head are the enemies of a good erection. But at a moment that every man considers humiliating, a lot depends on the woman. If you behave correctly, the damage to male pride and dignity will be minimal. It will not be possible to completely avoid damage (because such a situation is fear, horror and the end of the world and everything that exists), but at least something.

The most common type of such misfires, when a man does not get hard, is the first intimacy, which our hero really looks forward to and always wants to show himself in the best light. And now all the emotions and worries that have been accumulating throughout the entire period of courtship, at the most inopportune moment, pile up and suppress even the healthiest organism. Life is over...

And here it is important for a woman to disconnect from her own worries that she did not look exciting enough or somehow behaved incorrectly, and switch to her partner, who suffers because he did not live up to her expectations of intimacy.

To begin with, you should calm him down with caresses and gentle kisses. Under no circumstances should you console or take active action in the name of an erection: it will only get worse.

When a man does not get hard, the main thing at such a moment is to relieve tension, demonstrate that everything is in order and that the man’s caresses and all his actions were pleasant. If after that things went smoothly - great, if not - there is no need to insist on continuing at any cost, but it is better to just soak the two of you in a warm bath or relax in the shower. It is important not to interrupt tactile contact: representatives of the stronger sex are unusually vulnerable at such moments.

An even more panicky option is when intimacy is in full swing, and the man’s erection suddenly subsides. This is a terrible blow for him. And here it is important not to ask unnecessary questions and not make efforts to restore the status quo.

A careful continuation of love games will give a much better result: a man who really falls into a terrible panic at such moments will understand that he has not become disgusted with his beloved. Yes, from the outside it seems funny, but for him everything is very serious! So, gentle compliments and quiet sighs will help restore your partner's confidence and give him the opportunity to feel at his best again.

However, these tips are good and applicable only for isolated cases. If the problem becomes systematic, it is better to discuss the problem in a sensitive manner and visit a specialist. In mature men, the problem of “not getting up” can be solved medically, as well as by using stimulants. For male erection, you can buy Viagra or Levitra https://viarus.ru/prodazha/levitra/, it is cheaper and no worse in effectiveness. All these drugs are aimed at improving erection in men, which means they help solve the male problem of “not getting hard.”

It is a woman's responsibility to take care of the health and happiness of her partner.
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