How a tiny creature in need of constant attention changed the life of a man with severe addictions
Colin Farrell with James. Photo: facebook.com
Perhaps the story of Colin Farrell, the famous Irish actor, and his son James will seem inappropriate to our tired, weakened parents of children with a serious diagnosis. Well, really, where is Farrell with his capabilities and where are we in Russia?
Let us remind you that in our country, parents of disabled children only recently increased their care allowance: instead of the inhumanly meager 1,200 rubles/month, they are now entitled to 10 thousand rubles. But when they retire in old age, when they need support most of all with a physically grown but remaining helpless child (“forever a baby”), they are deprived of it.
But this is not a story about money and fame. This is a story about the relationship of a father to his son, about bitter disappointment when you realize that your child is seriously ill and this cannot be changed. And also about the fact that it is possible to find happiness where, it would seem, there is no point in looking.
Happy doll syndrome
Colleen Farrell with his youngest son Henry. Photo: todaysparent.com
In 2003, Colin Farrell's son James was born. Almost immediately after birth, it became clear that he was sick. At first, doctors talked about cerebral palsy and autism, but in the end, research determined that the child suffers from Angelman syndrome. This means profound mental retardation, difficulty speaking and moving, seizures and many other health complications.
At the same time, children look happy, often laugh and smile. These are also symptoms of a disease that is also called “happy doll syndrome.” At first, Farrell decided not to publicly disclose the diagnosis, but it haunted him; he felt guilty towards the child, as if he was hiding something shameful. But this was not so!
In 2007, Colin Farrell came to Shanghai as a representative of the Paralympics, in which adults and children with intellectual disabilities take part. It was in Shanghai that Colin decided to publicly talk about his son, his joy and pride in him.
“The fight for a child with special needs can sometimes be so brutal that it can tear your heart to shreds,” Farrell says. “But love is like a needle and thread, you darn the wounds with it, and the tears dry up.”
Movies
Amelia gained experience as an actress early; while still a teenager, the beautiful talented girl was noticed by producers and invited to star in the multi-part project “Catastrophe” (1998). A year later, the girl moved to the set of another series, “The Aristocrats” (1999). In the same happy year for her, she made her debut on the big screen. The melodrama Mansfield Park, based on the novel by the popular British writer Jane Austen, brought young Warner a leading role and national recognition.
Amelia Warner (still from the film “The Pen of the Marquis de Sade”)
Amelia played the main character of the film - Fanny Price in her youth. Fanny is a modest, sweet girl whose mother married a poor man and thereby alienated herself from her aristocratic relatives. Nevertheless, life develops in such a way that Fanny at the age of 10 is forced to go to live with rich relatives - the Bertram family. For young Price, a new life begins, in which there is a place for humiliation, suffering, and great love. Her girlfriend meets her cousin Edmund.
The dramatic talent of the young actress did not go unnoticed by the masters of Hollywood. In 2000, the film “The Feather of the Marquis de Sade” was released. The biography film about the odious and notorious personality of the early 19th century became a nominee for a number of prestigious film awards: Oscar, BAFTA, Screen Actors Guild Award, Golden Globe. As a result, he received the Golden Satellite award.
Aidan Gillen and Amelia Warner (still from the film "Laura Doone")
Warner played Simone, a supporting role, and her partners on the set were such stars as Kate Winslet, Geoffrey Rush and Joaquin Phoenix.
In 2000, Amelia returned to the small screen. Fans, of whom there are already quite a few by this time, are watching her in the role of Judy Whitemore, the heroine of the series “Raising the Dead,” which tells the story of the work of a special unit of the British Scotland Yard, dealing with unsolved crimes for which new evidence, persons involved, and facts have been found.
Next year, the first full-fledged leading role appears in the actress’s filmography. The events in the film “Laura Doone” take place at the end of the 17th century. Amelia Warner and English actor Richard Coyle played representatives of two warring clans. Young people, despite hatred, fall in love with each other, not knowing what twists fate has in store for them. The film is based on the book of the same name by writer Richard Blackmore.
Charlize Theron and Amelia Warner (still from the film “Eon Flux”)
By the mid-2000s, Amelia was already well known in her homeland as an actress of predominantly melodramatic roles. The comedy film “Rival Brothers” (2004) adds variety to the British woman’s genre repertoire. In this film, Warner plays the Italian Rosetta, whose heart is fought over by two brothers, Angelo and Gino Donnini.
In 2005, filming again in Hollywood. Warner is invited to Karin Kusama’s science-fiction film “Eon Flux.” Eon Flux, played by Charlize Theron, is a spy from the technocratic race of “Monicans”, who receives the task of opposing the current government. Her sister Una (Amelia Warner) is killed while she is on an important errand. Eon decides to take revenge.
Two films with the participation of the actress were released in 2007. The thriller "The Lost" was shot by British and Australian filmmakers. The plot centers on a young couple in love, Sophie and Alex (Amelia and Sean Evans), traveling along the coast of Australia. A random fellow traveler persuades them to travel deeper into the continent. An innocent proposal turns into a chain of terrible events.
Amelia Warner (still from the film "Darkness Rising")
The second film is David L. Cunningham's fantasy drama "Darkness Rising" about the adventures of the boy Will Stanton, who, as the last of the immortal warriors, fights against the coming rise of darkness. Warner played a character named Maggie Barnes.
Until 2012, the British actress starred in three more not very well-known films, after which she took a break in her film career due to the start of family life and the birth of children. However, the role of mother and wife does not prevent her from discovering a new side of her talent - as a composer.
A child doesn't need a friend, he needs his dad nearby
Colin Farrell with James. Photo: facebook.com
When Colin first heard the word “cure,” he was offended, almost angry, as if the doctors were judging his son that he was not what he should be, “but he is exactly what he should be,” the actor insists. "He's a magical, magical boy."
Seeing him for the first time, the actor burst into tears. Then it seemed to him that it was from “an excess of feelings.” In fact, now, many years later, Farrell understands that he cried out of fear - he was afraid of not being able to cope, he did not feel the strength to take care of another, helpless little person. He couldn’t figure it out with himself, and here was a tiny creature, a son... Farrell realized that he was taken by surprise.
There is an opinion that “fatherhood changes men,” but Farrell did not want to change his life. Moreover, he wanted to be a cheerful, carefree friend to his child, but not a father. “I remember saying, ‘Why would I change my life! I'll be his friend! Like a fucking 28 year old drunk drug addict friend was exactly what my 6 week old son needed.”
Time passed before the young man realized that the child did not need a cheerful friend - he needed, first of all, a dad who would always be there and be able to take care of him. This was a turning point. Colin decided to stop drinking.
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He is called a Hollywood hooligan and womanizer, and Farrell does not argue with this - in the suburbs of Dublin, where he was born and raised, he was known in every bar and every police station. Farrell arrived in Russia as part of the premiere of his new film “Total Recall.” The sci-fi action thriller is about an ordinary construction worker living in a small apartment in a run-down neighborhood. Although he is generally satisfied with his own life, he cannot get rid of the feeling that he wants something more.
The need for new exciting impressions brings him to the office, which implants into the memory of its clients fantasy memories that they can receive without the risk of experiencing the events themselves in reality. While the hero is choosing which memories to acquire, a special forces squad storms the room where he is located and has already taken him under arrest. To his own surprise, he quickly destroys the entire squad using incredible fighting skills that he never knew he possessed.
The press conference with the Irish actor took place at the Ritz Carlton Hotel. A smart, handsome man came out to the journalists, whose charming smile almost eclipsed the Kremlin stars located very nearby. Questions rained down like from a cornucopia. The public was interested in literally everything - details of filming, personal life, career...
— The film that we brought to Moscow, in my opinion, has everything that will make it a box office success: an interesting plot, good direction and camera work and, of course, first-class actors! (Laughs.) The hardest part of filming for me was kissing Kate Beckinsale. It's not that I don't like kissing... it's just that Kate is the wife of director Len Wiseman. And I think it was not easy for him to observe us from the side. You see, fights in films are not the same as love scenes. Needless to say, we filmed the kissing scene in the first take. And you should have heard with what enthusiasm Len shouted: “Stop! Cut!” Although, of course, there is no limit to perfection, and perhaps the second take could have been more expressive. Still, I'm glad that there are no sex scenes in the film. I can’t even imagine how Len would survive all this...
“In general, I performed all the stunts in the film myself,” said the actor and paused, waiting for a flurry of applause. - Oh, no, no need to applaud, I was joking! Stop it, otherwise my nose will grow like Pinocchio's! Of course, this is brilliant stunt work. I have absolutely nothing to brag about here - the fact is that I am terribly afraid of heights. Even this podium, where I am now, seriously worries me,” he said with a smile. - But what tricks are there! In the film I had to play the piano for 15 minutes... and let me tell you, it was really stressful!
Farrell has a reputation as a ladies' man. In his numerous interviews, he repeated more than once that he adores women and has always loved them, since childhood. “I have a wonderful mother and two wonderful sisters. And in general, women are creatures who give life. Is it possible not to love life? Therefore, the question of which women he likes best confused him a little:
“I don’t even know what to answer to this... I’m afraid that I don’t have any specific preferences or strict classifications.” “I just gratefully accept everything that fate sends me,” Farrell answered gallantly and smiled.
It must be said that in this sense fate was generous with him. Suffice it to remember that Elizabeth Taylor considered him the reincarnation of Richard Burton, and the actor recalls his friendship with the great actress with pride and trepidation. Last years
in her life he was there, supporting and caring for her.
The actor said that now any material wealth is available to him. “Oh, it’s a pity that I didn’t wear my Rolex to the conference,” he joked.
- You know, it's luck. By and large, I have been very lucky in my life. But I didn’t even finish school! But money is also an obligation to share. And I want to say that I not only receive, but also give. I don’t like to talk about the fact that I collaborate with charitable organizations. But my eldest son has Angelman syndrome. And I consider it my duty to help children with the same problem.
— I can’t say that I expected something very special from Russia. Although, of course, I will definitely remember Red Square and the Kremlin. In addition, Russians and Irish still have something in common: for example, a passion for strong alcohol!
“The fact that I survived and didn’t kill anyone is a miracle.”
Colin Farrell and Edward Norton. Still from the film “Pride and Glory”
Only his family and those closest to him truly understood how he lived for the last 15 years. From the outside it seemed that everything was fine - career, money, fame, but the fact that the media kept catching him with a bottle or something even worse... You know how it happens - at first the whole world is at your feet, forgiving you everything in the world, then people start twirling their fingers at their temples - they say, guy, it’s time to stop, well, and then - it’s your own fault...
An Irish nugget, a rebel, as they called him. And he seemed to enjoy terrifying those around him. “Alcohol is part of the Colin Farrell brand,” the actor boasted. Today he admits: “The fact that I survived and didn’t kill anyone is a miracle, I could have ended up in prison, I could have died from an overdose.” Life can be very cruel. “Fear is a powerful force, and I think the key to keeping fear from becoming destructive is to acknowledge it and not let it dominate your life. I'll just do everything I can to protect my son. And for this I must have a clear head.”
He started drinking at the age of 14 and did not stop even when he moved from Dublin to Hollywood. More like “accelerated”. How he managed to work and become one of the best actors of his generation, Farrell does not know. He reached the top so quickly that he himself did not fully believe what was happening.
But after Oliver Stone's film Alexander failed at the box office, something went wrong. The actor was attacked by critics, but it was as if he was just waiting for this. Colin, spellbound, read all the negative articles about himself, all the malicious and offensive comments. When you doubt your own achievements, you begin to look for confirmation of this - your brain clings to the slightest humiliation, inflates any offense to exorbitant proportions, and now you are covered by a gigantic wave that is impossible to cope with. It’s paradoxical, Farrell will say later, but sometimes you can only feel truly alive when you’re in a lot of pain.
Actor Colin Farrell swears terribly. To such an extent that it is difficult to even listen. And publishing an interview is completely obscene. Therefore, “In Good Taste” decided to mute the numerous f***ing obscenities and replace them with... well, let’s say, with the beloved “in good taste”... Therefore, meet: the Irish “recruit” in Hollywood, who has his own “special opinion” on everything , Colin "in good taste" Farrell.
Until some time, Farrell's reputation was simply terrible: a drunkard, a rowdy, a foul-mouthed man, an inveterate womanizer and other words that Hollywood hooligans like Mickey Rourke and Charlie Sheen love to be called. However, here is a paradox - they all manage to behave in such a way that the bouquet of vices begins to evoke not condemnation, but almost admiration. Such guys are given the epithet “cool”, and no one doubts their abilities. Despite all the scandals, Farrell's acting reputation is almost impeccable: talented, temperamental, bright.
-What's the worst thing you've done recently?
“There was a time when I was called the “unrepentant Irish bandit,” and every interview was full of new revelations about drugs, drunkenness, and dozens of women. And I gladly used the reputation of a bad guy, allowing myself statements and antics for which any other actor would have been eaten alive long ago. Today everything is different, I'm not saying everything is perfect, but (a wry smile appears on his face), really the worst thing I've done in the last few years is steal (“in good taste”) a sandwich from a store. And not because there wasn’t enough money, there was a wild line, and I was in a hurry...
– How did your relatives feel about this lifestyle? I remember your mother was worried, saying that your son smokes and drinks too much...
– The only reason why people talked about my lifestyle is because I am an actor, a public (“in good taste”) person. If it weren’t for him, no one would shout “Oh my God!” at every corner. Every time I ordered a beer, it was as if I had to justify myself to the bartender, like, it’s my day off, I’m not filming today, I’m allowed to... And my mother was always proud of me, no matter what.
– Have you always managed to live by acting?
– I have always managed to live (dramatic pause, typical of theatrical elders). I was kicked out of school... Mom was upset, but instead of slapping me, she calmly explained why she was upset. For me, a slap on the head is better. Then he worked as a waiter, one summer he painted warehouses, sold clothes, and taught dancing to students. And even auditioned for Boyzone. It was funny. I was dancing in a club then, and the manager came up to me and offered to try. I sang some George Michael song. Those guys simply couldn’t believe their ears that it was possible to sing so badly, and asked to sing again. I sang. In the evening the selectors called me and said that I was deaf. In short, I tried to earn pounds in the most exotic ways. But this is normal, this is (“in good taste”) life.
Farrell's biography is often compared to Cinderella. Born in the middle of nowhere (in terms of distance from Hollywood, in Dublin), to non-film parents, at 17 he took and ran away to Australia with some elderly aunt, and then came to Los Angeles and began to get one cool role after another. On the screen he coexisted with Tom Cruise, Bruce Willis, Al Pacino - those who in the world of cinema are called “royals”. The producers agreed to any expenses in order to get the Irishman into the most high-profile projects. As if that's how it should be. Farrell himself calls it “my Irish luck” and sometimes tells a funny story about the special “lucky panties” that he always puts on for the first casting (at least some explanation for the thousands of potential extras studying the Stanislavsky system in film schools).
– I also have other panties. In general, I'm superstitious. I can't live without rituals. My brother once gave me panties with a shamrock clover, the symbol of Ireland. I wear them on the first day of every film I make. They are already... a little old, to say the least, but without them I will never start any shooting. Maybe I’m saying something stupid, but it was the ritual part that got me into drugs, the signs of belonging to a secret brotherhood. In adolescence, there is little that can be opposed to such romance.
– But it’s not cowards who are to blame for your career successes...
Kind? So he's a weakling
Colin Farrell. Photo: todaysparent.com
The painful, devouring addiction to alcohol grew, he felt guilty, and memory loss began. After filming the film Miami Vice, Colin was horrified to discover that he remembered almost nothing - not a single day of filming - he drank so much. And when everyone went to the party in honor of the end of filming, Farrell boarded a plane and went to a rehab clinic.
“I had a son and that was the main reason. I wanted to be sober and remember that I was with him.” One day during therapy, the doctor asked him to write down everything he had been using lately and read it out loud. It was a terrible moment, Farrell burst into tears like a child. How wild! How much crap does he or anyone else have to stuff inside themselves just to try to feel human, to get through the day. “What doesn't kill us doesn't make us stronger,” Farrell says. “Sometimes, on the contrary, it only increases your despair and loneliness.”
Having understood himself, Farrell realized that he suffered from alcoholism and other addictions due to a false understanding of masculinity. Society values macho behavior, and vulnerability is considered something shameful, worthy of ridicule and contempt. Kind? That means he's a weakling. And what could be worse for a man than admitting his own weakness?
In the 80s, when Colin was growing up, boys were not allowed to openly show feelings - cry, suffer, emotionally admire - it was considered something shameful for a “real Irishman”. “When a man doesn’t know how to deal with his own fears, they destroy him from the inside,” says Farrell. “Emotions that are not recognized by you, not openly recognized, lead to violence and all kinds of madness,” says the actor. He calls his time in rehab a “sobriety nightmare.”
But it was worth it. Farrell was not afraid to admit his weakness in front of the whole world, take responsibility, and say that he suffered from mental illness for many years and indulged it. When he left rehabilitation, his mother admitted that for the first time in fifteen years she was able to sleep peacefully.
Biography of Amelia Warner
Amelia Catherine Bennett's homeland is considered to be Liverpool. She was born on June 4, 1982. The parents, Alan Lewis and Annette Ekblom, have no other children. The occupation of the mother and father of the future artist was directly related to cinema. They did not want the same fate for Amelia, but their beloved daughter chose a career as an actress.
The divorce of her parents was the reason for moving to the capital of Great Britain - London became the new place of residence for Amelia and her mother. She received her education at the Royal School, where there were only girls. Then the future star studied fine arts at college, and studied art history at one of the branches of the University of London. Amelia learned the basics of acting in the theater. Her first image is that of a representative of the royal court. The end of the 1990s served as the starting point for her career as an actress.
Her first roles were in the television series “Catastrophe” and “The Aristocrats”. In 1999, Amelia starred in the film Mansfield Park as young Fanny Price. The British actress won Western European and Russian audiences thanks to her filming in the film “Lorna Doone.” In the work based on the story by Richard Doddridge Blackmore, she appeared as the first heroine.
James wants what we all want.
Colin Farrell with his youngest son Henry after a morning run. June 2020. Photo: dailymail.co.uk
Farrell says he has met dark, cruel, mean people in his life. Villains who taught him a lot and, most importantly, made him understand what kind of person he doesn’t want to be in this life. These were tough and valuable lessons, but they were not what helped him change his life for the better.
His son's diagnosis nearly brought him to his knees, but in the end it was little James who taught his father Colin the most important lesson. “I couldn’t change my life for myself, but I did it for my son. He gave me a chance to improve."
James cannot speak or communicate, but, according to his father, he magically brings out the best in those around him. “He thinks, he feels, he knows exactly what’s going on, and he has a voice. It’s just that this voice is hidden inside, and you need to find a way to let it sound,” says the actor about his son.
There are so many people around who move beautifully, speak beautifully, are “normal” and yet very often feel deeply unhappy. Colin himself is no exception. And 17-year-old James doesn’t move right, and is very upset that he can’t speak, can’t explain how he feels, what’s happening to him. Everything is given to him with incredible difficulty, for everything that was “given to us for free”, he has to pay a high price, but he is as happy as possible...
The most important thing Farrell learned was to never let others judge your child's capabilities. When James was born, doctors said he was unlikely to walk, but at age four, James took his first steps! His efforts, drive, frantic desire worked against all odds. “He has the main thing - the desire to experience life, feel it, share it with others. It's just a little more unique than most. And instead of words he makes the most amazing sounds,” says Colin.
Romance with Colin Farrell
In 2002, reports appeared in the press about a new romance between the most famous Irish rowdy and Hollywood drunkard. By this time, Colin Farrell, who was four years younger than Kim, had already broken more than one heart of famous Hollywood beauties. In the list of his victories there was even a place for such a sex symbol as Demi Moore.
It is not known for certain when model Kim Bordenave came into his sight. However, already in the summer of 2003, numerous fans of the actor learned from articles in the yellow press that the young people were living together. Despite the fact that Colin repeatedly appeared in the company of Kim and his sister at official events, there was no talk of a wedding or engagement. Most likely, for Colin this romance was just another fleeting adventure, because very soon the actor began to be seen in company with other girls; he often did not come to spend the night.
One fine morning, he admitted to Kim Bordenave that their romance was a mistake, and the relationship had no future. Kim calmly listened to her lover’s confession and did not object. After a short pause, she said that she had one last thing to tell him that he needed to know. Information about the pregnancy made Farrell happy, but did not change his intentions to leave.
Dignity and respect are our birthright.
Photo: patch.com
Farrell does not have his own charitable foundation, but he actively supports various NGOs and hospitals in several areas: at-risk youth, HIV and AIDS, disadvantaged people, survivors of bullying and homelessness, the Homeless World Cup, children's health, support for depression and attempt suicide, poverty and hunger, mental problems, slavery/trafficking.
The lion's share of the actor's regular donations goes to the FAST Angelman Syndrome Therapy Foundation. He is involved in funding medical research and training doctors in the hope that a cure may soon be available to make life easier for people with this disease.
Farrell says he is happy for his child, but would never downplay the ordeal that many parents of sick children are forced to go through - all the pain and horror of suffering. He had to go through this himself. It took a long time to sort out James' condition. Colin encourages parents to come together and not be afraid to ask for help. “It is important for a parent of a child with special needs to feel that he or she is not alone. The parents I know personally are incredible people. Despite any difficulties, they love their children and try to the best of their ability to provide them with the comfort, dignity and respect that each of us is entitled to by birthright.”
