A small child perceives “5” or “4” not just as a mark, but as an assessment of his personality - whether I am good or bad. It is not without reason that in some pedagogical systems they abandon grades altogether, so as not to create unnecessary reasons for... How adequately a child can perceive assessments depends, for the most part, on the family. After all, sometimes parents forget that not only the result is important, but also participation, and studying is a process of obtaining not so much grades as knowledge.
In addition, grades are always subjective: the result may be affected by the teacher’s anxiety or attitude. But often the child’s perception of grades is influenced by the parents’ attitude towards them, and the latter, in turn, can be divided into several types.
Anxious parents.
Most often, anxious parents worry about grades: for them, it is an indicator of their child’s success, and, therefore, it is their assessment as an effective or ineffective parent: in other words, how their contribution to the child was assessed by society. “For such mothers and fathers, a bad grade is catastrophic - if he has a “2”, it means that I am a bad parent,” explains Anna Fateeva, a child psychologist at the Crisis Center for Assistance to Women and Children.
Authoritarian parents.
The situation with grades is no less difficult for children of demanding, controlling, critical parents. Often such people are forced to rewrite the assignment until it is perfect; they meet a grade of four, and even more so a grade of three in the diary, with stern silence, lectures, or punishments. The child begins to fear evaluations, especially if he has already encountered punishment - physical or emotional.
Narcissistic parents.
It also happens that it is important for parents to present the child’s results to the public: to be proud, to brag, to brag, and then the parents - obviously or not - convey to the child: “If you are not successful, you do not live up to our expectations, we don’t need you like that.” Here we are dealing with a situation of rejection, which, accordingly, will lead to excessive and panic before showing the diary to the parents.
Compassionate parents.
Some overprotective mothers are inclined and ready to alleviate his suffering at any moment. With them, children quickly understand: if you cry after you get a bad grade, not only will they not scold you, but they will even pat you on the head, feel sorry for you and buy you a chocolate bar. Now the baby uses this method every time just to be on the safe side.
The source of the problem may not only be the family, but also the school environment: an overly strict teacher or a competitive classroom environment can also provoke an exaggerated reaction to grades. In this case, the child begins to fear that his classmates will not accept him because of his poor performance.
Daria Dmitrieva
psychologist at the Crisis Center for Women and Children
What to do if your child worries too much about grades?
When a child is just starting out, his fear of grades is almost certainly due to the fact that he does not know what reaction to expect from his parents, and therefore experiences anxiety. If this is no longer a small child and the negative reaction to assessments has become systematic, then the situation requires attention.
“Try to understand why the child is so worried about grades,” advises psychologist Daria Dmitrieva. – Afraid that mom will swear? He ashamed? Does he think he's stupid? Did the guys laugh at him? Did the teacher insult him? In each individual case, the approach to the problem will be different.”
However, we can try to give some general recommendations.
1. From the first grade, teach your child to have the right attitude towards learning.
“I’m pleased when you get an A, but other grades aren’t the end of the world.” You shouldn’t say: “Oh, you got a B? Are you stupid? Here I am at your age...” The child should be told that “4” does not convey anything bad about his personality, character, etc. This is just one of the tools for measuring knowledge.
2. Explain to your child that he has the right to make mistakes.
Perhaps the child is embarrassed to say that he did not understand the topic, or cannot, or it is due to absences due to illness. It is important to support kids so that they are not afraid to say: “I don’t understand, please explain.”
3. Don't compare your child with other children who do better.
This is at least unconstructive. If you want, compare today’s results with your child’s successes yesterday: “Look, you’ve learned to write this word without mistakes,” “Look, you’re already writing essays better.”
A small child perceives “5” or “4” not just as a mark, but as an assessment of his personality - whether I am good or bad. It is not without reason that in some pedagogical systems they abandon grades altogether, so as not to create unnecessary reasons for... How adequately a child can perceive assessments depends, for the most part, on the family. After all, sometimes parents forget that not only the result is important, but also participation, and studying is a process of obtaining not so much grades as knowledge.
In addition, grades are always subjective: the result may be affected by the teacher’s anxiety or attitude. But often the child’s perception of grades is influenced by the parents’ attitude towards them, and the latter, in turn, can be divided into several types.
Anxious parents.
Most often, anxious parents worry about grades: for them, it is an indicator of their child’s success, and, therefore, it is their assessment as an effective or ineffective parent: in other words, how their contribution to the child was assessed by society. “For such mothers and fathers, a bad grade is catastrophic - if he has a “2”, it means that I am a bad parent,” explains Anna Fateeva, a child psychologist at the Crisis Center for Assistance to Women and Children.
Authoritarian parents.
The situation with grades is no less difficult for children of demanding, controlling, critical parents. Often such people are forced to rewrite the assignment until it is perfect; they meet a grade of four, and even more so a grade of three in the diary, with stern silence, lectures, or punishments. The child begins to fear evaluations, especially if he has already encountered punishment - physical or emotional.
Narcissistic parents.
It also happens that it is important for parents to present the child’s results to the public: to be proud, to brag, to brag, and then the parents - obviously or not - convey to the child: “If you are not successful, you do not live up to our expectations, we don’t need you like that.” Here we are dealing with a situation of rejection, which, accordingly, will lead to excessive and panic before showing the diary to the parents.
Compassionate parents.
Some overprotective mothers are inclined and ready to alleviate his suffering at any moment. With them, children quickly understand: if you cry after you get a bad grade, not only will they not scold you, but they will even pat you on the head, feel sorry for you and buy you a chocolate bar. Now the baby uses this method every time just to be on the safe side.
The source of the problem may not only be the family, but also the school environment: an overly strict teacher or a competitive classroom environment can also provoke an exaggerated reaction to grades. In this case, the child begins to fear that his classmates will not accept him because of his poor performance.
Daria Dmitrieva
psychologist at the Crisis Center for Women and Children
What to do if your child worries too much about grades?
When a child is just starting out, his fear of grades is almost certainly due to the fact that he does not know what reaction to expect from his parents, and therefore experiences anxiety. If this is no longer a small child and the negative reaction to assessments has become systematic, then the situation requires attention.
“Try to understand why the child is so worried about grades,” advises psychologist Daria Dmitrieva. – Afraid that mom will swear? He ashamed? Does he think he's stupid? Did the guys laugh at him? Did the teacher insult him? In each individual case, the approach to the problem will be different.”
However, we can try to give some general recommendations.
1. From the first grade, teach your child to have the right attitude towards learning.
“I’m pleased when you get an A, but other grades aren’t the end of the world.” You shouldn’t say: “Oh, you got a B? Are you stupid? Here I am at your age...” The child should be told that “4” does not convey anything bad about his personality, character, etc. This is just one of the tools for measuring knowledge.
2. Explain to your child that he has the right to make mistakes.
Perhaps the child is embarrassed to say that he did not understand the topic, or cannot, or it is due to absences due to illness. It is important to support kids so that they are not afraid to say: “I don’t understand, please explain.”
3. Don't compare your child with other children who do better.
This is at least unconstructive. If you want, compare today’s results with your child’s successes yesterday: “Look, you’ve learned to write this word without mistakes,” “Look, you’re already writing essays better.”
No matter how difficult, painful, offensive, unpleasant, scary it may be, in any situation you should stop for a minute, calm down, and look at the problem from the outside. Perhaps what was unbalancing a minute ago will now be solvable.
It is impossible to constantly worry about pressing problems - this drives a person into depression and despair. It’s one thing to be nervous about trifles, and quite another to worry about life, health, housing, and loved ones.
It is strictly forbidden to get irritated and angry for any reason, because disruptions and aggression will not help in solving the problem. It is better to solve the issue with a cool mind and a steady hand.
Not everyone can boast of a balanced character, so a selection of psychological techniques and several auto-training techniques will come to the rescue, which will help you become calm and quickly find a way out of the current situation.
A person with extensive life experience knows how to stop being nervous in stressful situations.
There are different ways to let go:
- intimate talk;
- communication with pets;
- sleep and rest;
- meditation;
- bath with oils or contrast shower;
- delicious favorite food, coffee with chocolate;
- changing your usual environment: a walk in the park, a run through the forest, a trip to an exhibition;
- doing what you love: embroidery, drawing, handicrafts.
A change of environment, doing something pleasant will help relieve nervous tension.
To strengthen your nervous system, add yoga, meditation, reading fiction, listening to classical music, and developing your individuality into your life. It is easier for a self-confident, spiritually and morally developed person to overcome stress. Such a person will not push himself in an ordinary life situation, for which only experience and wisdom are enough to solve.
Stress can arise in different situations:
- before the performance. The excitement is understandable, because you need to convey information, interest the listener, be ready for questions or change the topic of the speech. To solve the issue, you need exactly this - to prepare well, study the topic, have a well-groomed appearance, so that at first glance you give the audience the impression of a confident person;
- driving a car. A beginner needs to calm down and understand that experience comes with age, and every trip behind the wheel brings new knowledge that is important for conquering new roads in life;
- in online games. Understand that without play, life will not stop. The real world is not about winning or losing. This will help you cope with a bad gaming day;
- before the date. In fact, worries about this are groundless and childishly naive. Since you were invited on a date, it means that they like you for who you are now, so you shouldn’t worry too much that someone won’t like you;
- before childbirth. It is difficult to remove anxiety when the baby’s due date approaches, but it is here that the expectant mother must show her fortitude and help her baby be born;
- because of her husband or beloved man. A woman should not tolerate insults and humiliation. Instead of tears, stress and breakdowns, it is better to try to change your life, your attitude towards yourself, your habits, tastes;
- because of a girl or a guy. If you are dear to each other, you need to cool down a little and talk. Perhaps a compromise will be found and the relationship will move to a new level;
- before surgery. When the fears are terrible, but you cannot survive without surgery, all you have to do is look for good doctors and fight for your life;
- because of the loan. There is nothing more important than health. Therefore, worries about the amount of debt will seem insignificant compared to the cost of human life;
- because of the neighbor's music. Don't start beating the batteries immediately after the first notes behind the wall. Try to convey to your neighbors that loud music makes you uncomfortable. Perhaps they will immediately understand you and listen.
Many people don’t know how to stop being nervous at work and lead themselves to breakdowns or depression.
To avoid being branded as a brawler or brawler, you need to stop indulging in your bad habit of solving problems with your voice. Obviously, if you don’t start working on yourself, the team can turn away from the “nervous element of society.” Then there will simply be no one to solve problems, share news and communicate with.
In a new job, a person is given a chance to show his best qualities, taking into account life experience and knowledge. Therefore, you should not be afraid of a new job, put on the mask of “Dunno” or “Newbie”. To rid yourself of stress and anxiety, you need to boldly go through life.
Experienced students know how to stop being nervous before an exam - they need to write a couple of cheat sheets. Even if you don’t manage to use them in the exam, the main points will remain in your memory. Then, every student knows the rule that repetition is the mother of learning! The night before the exam, flip through the notes, and in the morning, feel free to defend your knowledge.
You should not worry and be nervous to the point of tears before an exam - have mercy on your heart.
If you have a driving test ahead of you, it is worth dividing the questions systematically, for each day. Systematicity, clarity and order will give you self-confidence, and this guarantees 80% of success.
A woman’s health during pregnancy is sometimes not good. But there is no need to worry about this, because toxicosis, changes in hemoglobin in the blood, heartburn, and malaise are quite common occurrences for a pregnant woman.
During pregnancy, a woman needs more positive emotions, a good friendly environment of loved ones, a reliable, experienced gynecologist, and also faith in herself.
No stress over grades!
Parents' anxiety about their children's grades is completely justified, because without knowledge and a good certificate it is so difficult to enter a good university. But is it possible to make a child smarter with your screams and nerves? If you constantly turn the evening hours into debriefings, your child will no longer have the desire to learn.
It will be much more useful to provide help while studying, explain a simple rule for the tenth time, and then go into the kitchen, close your eyes and mentally shower yourself with rose petals!
As a rule, in school we take bad grades or unexpected troubles quite easily, but bad grades in college or university can affect our professional activities in the future. Perhaps you didn’t get the best grade or completely failed your last test or assessment - don’t worry. Better pay attention to your spiritual state, come to terms with this incident, find harmony and get ready to move on. Zen is not just a teaching about tranquility. This teaching is more about gaining that sense of purpose and determination that will help improve your future. You need to understand why you get bad grades, what you can do to fix it, and how to behave to get good grades in the future.
Recommendations for parents “How to respond to a student’s bad grades” consultation on the topic
How to react to a student's bad grades.
Listen to the advice of psychologist Daria Shevchenko.
Has your child not given the best grades again? You are in a panic, you don’t know what to do. And you act in a stereotypical way: you begin to reprimand, scold and punish the child, forbid him to go for walks, to use the computer, TV.
If you do this often, you will soon not know anything about your student's bad grades. The child will simply hide them from you.
Scandals and punishments provoke children not to trust their parents and to be offended by them. Children feel that their parents do not understand them; during adolescence, it becomes difficult for parents to find a common language with their children.
What not to do
– Don’t scold your child for bad grades
No matter how upset you are about your child’s bad grades at school, avoid condemnation, threats, ridicule, offensive nicknames, lecturing, punishment and unfounded accusations.
Remember: the child perceives your open negative reaction to his grades not as a reaction to knowledge and invested work, but as an assessment of his personality.
– Don’t be indifferent to bad grades
It’s not worth saying that school grades are nonsense, they say, Einstein was also a poor student. Do not ignore the “twos”, because they indicate certain problems in your child’s life.
– Don’t do your child’s homework
It is clear that often there is simply not enough time to explain. It seems easier to do all the homework for the child and forget about the problem. But this is not a solution, because the child will not benefit from such help.
5 steps towards a good grade
1. Find out the situation at school and the child’s mood. Find out from your child how his relationships develop with teachers, classmates, and with whom he managed to meet and make friends.
2. Ask leading questions to find out the circumstances of receiving a bad grade: what was the topic, what question and how the teacher asked, how did you answer, were you very worried at the time of answering, etc.
3. Say that you are upset by the bad grade, but are ready to help your child solve this problem.
4. Find the reason for the bad grade. And there can be a lot of reasons:
– the child might not understand the topic; – the child has no contact with the teacher; – the child felt unwell; – the child knew the material, but was confused, shy, and afraid to speak in front of his peers;
5. Help your child correct his grade. When you and your child find the reason for his poor grade, begin to correct the situation.
Baby didn't understand the topic? Disassemble, explain and learn it with your child. No contact with the teacher? Find out the teacher's requirements and teach your child to adhere to them when completing assignments.
Does your child know the material, but is shy at the board? Teach the student to cope with anxiety, rehearse his speech in front of his family. And when the child is ready, encourage him to approach the teacher and ask permission to correct the grade. This way the child will show himself not to be a passive student, but ready to work, try, and show knowledge.
The most important advice from psychologist Daria Shevchenko:
Always take an interest in your child’s affairs, and not just when he gets a bad grade. Don’t just check the diary, but also ask every day how the day went, how was the mood, what new happened in the child’s life.
Don't punish your child for bad grades! Teach your baby to learn. Then bad grades will be a signal for him to improve something, to put in more effort.
Steps
Come to terms with your grades
- Take responsibility for your grades.
Even if it's a blow to your ego, you need to understand that you alone are responsible for the grades you receive. Of course, you may have conflicts with teachers, and other extraneous factors may also affect your grades, but in most cases you need to understand that if you want to improve something, you need to act.
Put this situation into perspective.
Understand that, unfortunately, troubles happen in life. Bad grades can make you panic, but you need to look at the situation rationally to come to terms with it. You are healthy? Do you have close people who love you, friends who are always there? Think about how lucky you are. Remember that grades are important, of course, but they are not the only important thing in your life.
Talk to someone you trust.
When you're upset, it's okay to discuss the situation with a friend or loved one. Don't feel like you have to deal with this situation on your own. It's understandable that you're worried about upsetting your parents, ruining your grades, and ruining your teachers' impression of you. Remember that you can cope with this and find the support you need.
- You could even try seeing a psychologist (schools, colleges and universities usually have psychologists on staff). They are good professionals who are trained to help upset and anxious students.
- You should not visit forums and social networks to complain about your “troubles” there. After all, your comments can be seen by other students, institute employees and teachers. This could have consequences. Therefore, it is better to talk to a friend or psychologist face to face.
- Take a break.
You may be extremely tired, so now is not the time to forget about your well-being. Eat ice cream with a friend, watch a movie, or take a bubble bath. Do something that helps you relax. The point is not to “run away” from bad grades, but to find the harmony and calm that is necessary in order to correct this situation. Once you are rested and relaxed, return to your grades.
Remind yourself that grades do not define your self-worth or your worth.
You are so much more than your grades. Good grades can help boost your self-esteem, but don't let bad grades diminish your worth. In addition, bad grades do not mean that you are stupid or unable to graduate from university. Everyone has their own talents, strengths and good qualities that cannot be measured by the curriculum alone.
Meditate.
When you can retreat to your room, try closing your eyes for a few minutes. Take a few deep breaths in and out and concentrate on your breathing. Quiet your thoughts and allow yourself to move away from them. Try not to think about anything, and if you start to have anxious thoughts about your grades, try to push them away. You can turn on pleasant, calm music - it will help you relax. Try to spend 15–30 minutes meditating.
- If it’s difficult for you to devote a lot of time to meditation, try downloading a special meditation application (for example, “PureMind: Meditation and Sounds” or “Headspace” (the application is in English, but 95% of the words are repeated from exercise to exercise, so even with poor knowledge of the language it’s worth try to use it)). These apps offer specific tips and guides to help you stay focused.
Yoga is another way to relax and achieve harmony. Some educational institutions (colleges and universities) have sports clubs, including a yoga club. Find out if there is such a club at your educational institution, and whether you can enroll in it.
Sometimes we feel anxious or panicky, but we don't have enough time to meditate. In this case, you can try using a quick relaxation technique that will help you come to your senses a little. So, leave everything you are doing. Close your eyes and count to 10. Imagine a calm place where you are happy, such as near the ocean or a babbling stream. These techniques will help you relax and get rid of the worries that are overwhelming you.
Avoid drugs and alcohol.
Some people worry so much about their grades that they indulge even more in fun and partying to forget about this problem - this is how a vicious circle begins. If you are very worried about bad grades, try not to drink alcohol until you feel relaxed and calm.
Think about what went wrong
- Calculate how much time you spend studying.
Before you panic, try to guess why you started getting bad grades. Are you studying to your full potential? Are you playing truant and missing tests? Think about your study habits to help you figure out what needs to be improved.
- Perhaps you are completely dedicated to your studies. Studying as hard as you can and getting bad grades is really very disappointing. But you must remember that you did everything possible to succeed. Perhaps next time you should change your study habits or ask your teacher for help.
Perhaps you just gave up right away and didn’t try everything. What you need to understand is that the days of relying on your talent and luck alone are over. Learn from this and try to be better prepared next time.
Take another look at your notes, recordings, and exercises. What part (or what tasks) did you not understand? What does the curriculum say about these tests? Consider whether you may not have understood something you were supposed to learn (or learn to do).
- You may have only learned what interests you. If some points seemed too difficult or uninteresting to you, most likely you returned to the more interesting parts of the material or task, and simply ignored the difficult or boring parts of the task. Next time, try to fight this urge.
You may have only read the minimum required for the lesson. In this case, try reading additional material in addition to the main homework. If you don't understand the material, go to the library, ask your teacher for help, or find an explanation on the Internet.
Some teachers will deduct points if a student misses too many classes. Sometimes, when you skip class, you miss key information. Think about the level of attendance. Add to this the number of missed classes.
- Do you have a valid reason for being absent from class? Do you have a medical certificate confirming that you were sick? If someone died, do you have a copy of the death certificate? If the answer to these questions is no, it is likely that your absences were not considered excused absences.
If you are not feeling well and cannot afford even some basic things, you will most likely have a hard time studying. If this is the case, talk to your doctor or psychologist to see what you can do to resolve the situation (you may need to take some time off to understand your condition). If it's not the end of the semester, it might be a good idea to skip a couple of classes to handle the situation. So, the main external factors are listed below:
- death of a loved one;
work (full or part time);
When you are completely absorbed by some life events, you do not have time to cope with the rest of your affairs. Perhaps you have a new friend or a new girlfriend who is taking up all your time. Maybe you have joined some kind of community or club of interests that often hosts parties. Social life is very important, but if you spend too much time partying and don't have enough time to study, you can ruin your grades.
Meet with your teachers.
Being attentive and responsible can help you even when studying in college or university. Teachers will understand that you are having some difficulties right now, and they will appreciate your desire to learn. Talking with teachers will help you learn the lesson better, understand the material, and improve your work in the future.
- Talk to teachers during their office hours or email to arrange an in-person meeting. It is always better to discuss such matters in person.
Although it may be difficult, you can approach this topic calmly and sincerely. Just say: “I was very disappointed in my knowledge regarding the latest assignments. I'm wondering how I could improve my results. Maybe you can give me some advice on how best to approach this task?”
Consider a new approach to studying
- Assess the overall impact of poor grades on your future.
To avoid worrying about your grades, think about how much they will affect your future studies and career. Most often, bad grades do not greatly affect our overall education. If you receive a failing grade in one or more classes, your performance may decline. But don't get discouraged—take a few deep breaths and look at the big picture. Make a concrete plan to improve.
Decide in which areas you want to develop.
You may have realized that the problem is in your approach to studying. Maybe you realized that you don’t know how to organize material, that you forget about deadlines. Once you have determined what the main problem is, you need to take steps to fix it. Make a decision to change something.
- If you are very forgetful, you can buy a calendar or organizer, mark important dates and set reminders on your phone.
If you have problems with the distribution and organization of your time, you can make a schedule in advance and, having completed the planned tasks, reward yourself with something pleasant.
- Set yourself new goals.
Think about what you ultimately want to achieve? What kind of career do you want to build? Do you want to earn a certain amount? Do you want to enroll in a master's program? Make a list of goals. Once you have decided on your goals, list the necessary steps to achieve those goals.
- For example, if you want to study medicine in the future, look at the list of subjects you will study, decide what your grade level should be at graduation, and how various extracurricular activities can contribute to achieving your goal. So, your list of practical steps might be: “Find admissions information” or “Find good medical universities.”
- Think about what you could improve.
It is very important to understand that you cannot change the past, but you can change the future. Convince yourself that you can solve your problems. Once you realize what you did wrong, you can take steps to improve your situation.
Move on
- Sign up for a consultation with a teacher.
If you are concerned that your grades will affect your future studies, talk to your academic advisor and come up with a plan of action. Perhaps the subject is difficult for you, and you should contact a tutor or ask the teacher to work with you additionally. Unfortunately, in Russia and other CIS countries there is no opportunity to freely choose subjects. Work with your teacher (and perhaps your parents or guardians) to create a plan of action to help you get back on track.
Make a plan on how you can improve your results.
This plan should be formulated as specifically and step by step as possible, it should help you succeed next time. Feeling like you're in control of the situation will help you relax and set yourself goals to focus on next time.
- This plan must include the number of hours per week that you will spend on studying, the grades that you want to receive in each of the subjects. Describe how you are going to cope with various medical problems, how many hours a week you will spend working, socializing, and so on.
If you had really tough classes last semester, you may already have an answer to why your grades have dropped so much. Even the smartest and most capable people need to take breaks from time to time. It is possible that the schedule is not balanced in the current semester, in which case you as a whole group need to contact the dean’s office with a request to distribute the subjects differently. But, most likely, a visit to the dean will be successful only if the semester has just begun.
- If possible, politely ask your teacher if you can view your test (to make sure you were graded correctly). In some cases (but quite rarely) teachers make mistakes when checking work.
If things aren't going well from the start of the semester, consider skipping one or more classes to lighten the load and get the situation under control.
Talking with a teenager about academic performance
It is important to maintain a good relationship between the two of you by asking your teen sensitive questions, expressing your interest without anger, and allowing natural consequences to play their part. See how a model parent handles this situation.
Dad: Nathan, how are you doing at school?
Nathan: Great! Laura and I are throwing a party for the whole class today.
Dad: Great! Hope you have a good time. How are your intermediate grades for the quarter?
Nathan (begins to fuss): Yes, I brought in my English and math assignments, and the teachers didn’t even want to look at them because I was one day late. School sucks!
Dad: How sad! And yet, what are your grades?
Nathan: Mostly threes, two twos and two calls.
Dad: Mmmm... and what do you think about it?
Nathan: I can pull myself up if I try.
Dad: Well, it can be difficult to try... I’m thinking here, maybe it will be easier for you not to go to school? You yourself say that this completely sucks.
Nathan (shocked): You mean just quit?!
Dad: Isn’t that what this is all about?
Nathan: Yes, but...
Dad: Look, Nathan, this is what I think. I love you and want to take care of you. But we have everything that you like, everything that surrounds you: TV, a warm home, food in the refrigerator because at work I do my job satisfactorily or well. Since you're not doing your job even satisfactorily at school, it's starting to bother me, and I love you too much to let it continue. So I'm thinking maybe it's time for you to find your way in the world? Or, if you want to stay in the family, then it’s time to get a job and contribute a share to the family budget for your room and board. You understand me? I don't want to have any negative feelings towards you at all.
Nathan: No, no, dad, I'll finish school - I'll study better!
Dad: Well, okay. I'll give you one more quarter to think about, and if you get everything to a satisfactory level, and I continue to do my part of the job satisfactorily, it will be considered that everything is fair. But if you continue to have bad grades next quarter, I hope you will start working and be able to pay for your room and board. You know how to work well, and you can find a great job at McDonald's.
Nathan: Well, no, I'm not leaving here!
Dad: Well, good luck, son. How do you think you can get out?
Nathan: The math teacher said that I could bring her work tomorrow, but then I would have to miss the evening party...
Dad: Yes, it's sad. It's a pity. I hope you think about it carefully.
Warnings
- Never harm yourself or anyone else in response to poor grades. Remember, this too shall pass.
- If you don't sleep enough or eat poorly (or both), remember that this will affect you in unpleasant ways. But with time. Seek help from a social worker if it is a financial issue.
- If you suffer from mental health problems or any physical limitations that affect your learning process, don't hide in a corner and suffer in silence. Many colleges and universities are modernizing their curricula and creating special accommodations for people with disabilities. Certain adjustments are made to the course structure and schedule to help the student complete the course successfully. Trying to succeed against all odds is admirable, but it may set you up for failure in the long run, so try to figure out what kind of learning environment will help you cope.
- Break bad habits (such as over-communication and under-learning) because these habits cause your mistakes and failures. Instead of following the all-or-nothing approach and giving up when things don't go well, try to achieve your goals gradually.
Reasons for bad grades
There are many factors that prevent you from studying well, so talk with the student’s teacher, with the “culprit” of the problem, observe how he does his homework, in what atmosphere, and whether he takes breaks between classes. Perhaps this is the result of overwork, then remove additional activities for a while.
If a conflict arises with classmates and the child is not comfortable in the classroom, it is recommended to discuss the situation with the class teacher or school psychologist. An unpleasant situation with a teacher should be resolved together with the student, to solve the reason for what happened, preferably peacefully - do not forget, some children have a well-developed imagination and a habit of exaggerating.
Pay attention to the amount of sleep, here you can find out how much sleep a child should sleep by age. Lack of sleep seriously affects the ability to concentrate, behavior, and memorization of information. Do not leave without breakfast; it is advisable that the morning diet consist of nuts, cheese, milk, dried fruits, protein in the form of boiled chicken or fish
The most common reason is lack of motivation, sometimes called laziness, read more here. An incorrect learning strategy or a difficult school curriculum also plays an important role here. Try to change tactics, for example, find suitable video lessons on the Internet if the student does not understand the teacher, but there is no way to change him.
Lack of knowledge is a separate topic for discussion. Make sure that the child does not skip classes, and that homework is completed in good faith - without using “GD”. Also, a similar result is observed when changing educational institutions, when the student adapts to new conditions. Other reasons for poor grades at school are family problems that lead to stress and health problems, for example, decreased vision, ADHD, dyslexia, dyscalculia.
How a businessman correlates children's grades with a possible path of life development
Seeing that the child gave a low grade, Alex explains to him: “The way you are studying now, it looks like a low-paid specialist or a business founder.” It’s not surprising, because to become a good, highly paid specialist, such as a doctor or lawyer, you need to study well. Assessing the protest character of the child, the businessman notes that his child is not “suited” even to be a manager - specialists of this class must be able to work well in a team, within the framework of certain rules established by the company.
July 2020 - the audience grew to 700 million people: TikTok reveals statistics
Rosstat: women in leadership positions earn one third less than men
Mimi Goodwin started teaching sewing online and made millions
Alex Yanovsky shared that his eldest son, who regularly receives unsatisfactory grades, is confident that he will have his own business, but, according to the businessman, he has not yet taken any steps towards creating it.
Should Alex Yanovsky's son earn money to create his own business? The businessman sees nothing wrong with providing his child with start-up capital. As an example, he cites the life experience of Donald Trump, who once received a million dollars for development from his father and, of course, increased it (and continues to increase it to this day).
Grades and society.
The grade that is given in the classroom/electronic journal speaks not only about the student’s performance. She can assign a certain status or label to the student. Some children will be considered successful and good. While other children will be known as losers with difficult characters. All this together can have a huge impact on their psychological state, interpersonal relationships and self-esteem. It is very important to know that bad grades create a feeling of fear, shyness and self-doubt in a child. In addition, classmates' opinions of each other often depend on the teacher's assessment. As a rule, this happens from the very first days of school. At this age, the opinion of an adult is of utmost importance for children. Younger schoolchildren develop a clear conviction that if a peer does not keep up with the school curriculum, then he is not worthy of respect and friendship. And what do children, to whom society’s attention has been reduced, begin to do? Of course, they are trying in every possible way to assert themselves. Such students begin to misbehave in class, do not pay attention to their studies and lose their interest in the authority of the teacher.
