Dreamer
In words, Leo Tolstoy, but in reality, a fat lion is a classic type of man from whom we try to stay away.
He’s wearing the uniform of a kindergarten security guard, he has bad teeth, but he’s already hinted that you and him will fly to Mauritius next weekend. Thirty thousand invisible couriers take notice when he opens the door to the station kebab shop with a wide gesture, and he has already told us that he recently blackened Valuev’s eye - he miscalculated a little during a friendly training session. “Uncontrolled fantasizing is often associated with the fact that a man suffers from a syndrome of his own inefficiency,” Anetta is sure. “He’s afraid to take on anything because he’s afraid that it won’t work out.” For such men, the main actions are verbal, they exist only in words.” We women love with our ears, and a little chatter is even good for us. Maybe we also want to fantasize for a couple of minutes about how cool it will be for you and me in Mauritius. But there’s no need to lie completely stupidly! Girls are not hopelessly stupid creatures after all! Remember how you went to school with them - who got A's there, eh?
We like fantasies when, firstly, they are framed as fantasies, and secondly, they have legs with which they can somehow stand on real soil. We may well be captivated by the story of how you, a simple builder, dream that in a couple of years you will build with your own hands a large house in which your friendly family will live. You may only have a dozen accumulated bricks in your stash so far, but we see that you have both a goal and the ability to realize it.
But if you tell how in two weeks you will be hired to run an oil company, and in the meantime you are broke because you invested all your money in gold mines, and therefore the movie is canceled for today, these fantasies will not please us at all. “Women quickly stop trusting such a storyteller; with them around they do not feel the security so desired by the weaker sex,” warns Anetta.
Do men like assertive women?
Our culture teaches women that being assertive and firmly pursuing your desires is always a good thing. But is this a good thing when it comes to the love sphere of your life?
Despite the fact that men value educated and successful women, they do not like it when women control them in relationships.
Let's look at the pros and cons of being assertive:
Be assertive at work
You won't get very far in your career if you don't work hard enough on yourself. In general, to be successful at work and in business, you must clearly know what you want, what you need to do to get it, and how to do it.
Being assertive at work is not only good, but also necessary. Unfortunately, many women find it difficult to slow down and settle into a more relaxed mode at the end of the working day. They think that if it works in business, it will work in their love life. But most men are attracted to your femininity and gentleness, not your assertiveness and diligence.
Tell him what you want and don't want.
The only moment when a woman’s certainty and confidence is attractive to a man is when a woman can clearly formulate her desires, without reproaches and criticism towards him.
Express your desires using words such as “I would like that” or “I don’t really like that.”
Don't you like which restaurant he chose? Then say the following: “I would not like to have dinner there this evening. The food there is not always delicious,” and not “why do you always choose this terrible place?”
If he tells you something that makes you angry or irritated, then say the following: “I would like to talk about this.
This makes me uncomfortable,” not “why are you such an idiot?” Don't attack him
It's hard to just sit still and watch the man you like move away from you or make plans without you. You know that if you start cursing and attacking a man, it will simply push him away, but it’s also difficult not to start doing this. And even more so in the modern, changed world, when a woman is completely confused in these issues.
You may think you look caring and friendly when you text him throughout the day. You think you're making his job easier by making plans on your own, booking tickets, or managing your relationship. It doesn't look friendly or comfortable to him. He feels it as control and a power grab on your part and it doesn't look romantic.
Don't control your relationship
Asking a man how he feels and “where this is all going” seems natural and common. You think that this way you will be open and honest and show that you are interested in him. But it looks like you are too dependent on a man and are in despair. This can last as long as you maintain such a relationship, and he will be with you, but will not feel inspired. And you will never feel satisfied.
Perseverance with men - and even thinking that this is a modern thing - is a delusion and a mistake. Because this quality has never been and never will be naturally attractive to men.
Drinker
Are you sure it was really that funny - juggling pieces of cheese and howling the song “Just me and the horse” at karaoke, hugging her around the waist and clearly making it clear that the horse was her? Did you just have a little drink, thinking that a little alcohol would help you relax? You know, we don’t mind at all having a couple of glasses of wine with a man on the first date, but if he gets so drunk that he gets drunk, that’s a red signal. Yes, we have a drinking country, but at the same time we have a country of women who are terrified of contacting an alcoholic. And telling that you are actually the hereditary leader of the temperance society will result in an unanswered answering machine.
“However,” reminds Anetta, “smug lectures about the dangers of drinking and smoking on the first date are also inappropriate. What if a girl wanted to relax a little today? And now a sense of tact will make her pretend to be a saint throughout this endlessly long evening with you.”
Read online “A Persistent Man” by Hol Joan – RuLit – Page 1
Joan Hall
Persistent man
Chapter first
She was a real beauty! Hank Branson looked appraisingly at the woman’s figure and felt himself drawn to her like a magnet.
Hank stood in the small hallway of an elegant suburban villa, and since no one had noticed his arrival, there was an opportunity to look around.
The woman deserved attention, Hank was right: she was short, had a slender figure with rounded shapes, shiny dark brown hair that emphasized her transparent skin, and most importantly, she did not have the characteristic look of a person who is constantly on a diet. Hank also liked the casual elegance of her outfit: a blouse of bright green silk and loose trousers of pale yellow silk. This color combination was fashionable that season. A wide lilac belt made of soft leather effectively highlighted her thin waist, and matching sandals showed off her graceful feet. And when she went... Hank suppressed a groan that almost escaped. She moved with such grace that he immediately imagined a warm, dark night and even warmer, silky sheets.
Covered in sweat, Hank put down the bottle of expensive wine he had brought as a gift to his hostess and pulled his suede jacket off his shoulders. His movement attracted the attention of a girl who was animatedly talking with guests in the large living room. Hank recognized her, and a smile appeared on his face, and his amber eyes sparkled. He watched as Megan walked away from her interlocutors and headed towards the woman he liked.
Sisters? - he thought, looking at them carefully. When they whispered, their heads touched, and the similarity became obvious: height, figure, skin and hair color. But differences also emerged. Although Megan was very pretty, her eyes retained an expression characteristic only of those under twenty; and the woman, in addition to breathtaking beauty, had self-esteem and worldly experience.
Hank had known Megan Seaton for several months; she had been working at his company as a part-time secretary since last fall. Once she talked about her sister: she is two years older than her, married and has a seven-month-old daughter. So the beauty he admires is Megan's sister?
When the woman looked in his direction and a welcoming smile appeared on her bright lips, Hank felt a twinge in the pit of his stomach. She looked older than twenty-one years, and she had more self-esteem than one usually develops at that age.
But if this is Megan's sister, where is the owner - her mother?
While both women walked towards him, Hank briefly examined the guests. His gaze lingered on the profile of an elderly woman who was sitting on a straight-backed chair and answering the greetings of the guests. She also had similarities with Megan and her sister. She must be over fifty, he thought, but he could not determine her age more precisely. She was a well-preserved, beautiful woman with aristocratic features and beautiful skin.
At first, Hank didn't really want to go visit. But he had no plans for the holiday, and no desire to give up a pleasant pastime either. He knew that Megan's family lived in their own house in the suburbs of Philadelphia, and he thought that it would be an ordinary holiday dinner: everyone would gather around a table decorated with spring flowers and the obligatory basket of painted eggs, there would also be room for baked ham or lamb in mint jelly.
But he didn't expect to see a real suburban villa. He also liked the decoration of the hall, where he entered, invited by the venerable housekeeper. Then it was time to be surprised by the large number of well-dressed guests, as well as by the long table at the far end of the room, at which two waiters in white uniform jackets were serving quite large portions of gourmet dishes. And, of course, Hank never thought that he would meet such an amazing woman here and feel like an ass who received a blow to the solar plexus.
Hank didn’t like anything new, but now he had a feeling of some kind of emptiness inside him, growing as the woman got closer. Hank looked into the beauty's clear brown eyes, and before he looked at Megan's joyful face, an unusual but pleasant pain pierced him. At this moment, he barely understood what Megan was talking about. Much more important was the discovery: this woman was more his age than Megan's sister, she was probably in her thirties.
— Happy Easter, Hank! Megan smiled, greeting him warmly. - I'm glad you came. — She looked back at her companion, and her smile became mischievous. “We’re glad you came,” she clarified. — Meet my mother, Laura Seaton. Megan turned slightly. - Mom, this is my boss - Hank Branson.
— Welcome, Mr. Branson. Happy Easter to you.
Hank saw the thin hand extended and shook it. He heard Laura's gentle voice and duly responded to her greeting. Then Hank couldn’t remember what he said in the first minutes of their acquaintance. Stormy joy overwhelmed his entire being, his soul sang. His premonition or intuition did not let him down: the beauty turned out to be not a married older sister, but Megan’s mother. He remembered Megan saying that her mother was a widow, and for a very long time.
When Hank returned to his bachelor apartment, which suddenly became empty and cold, only certain episodes of that evening were vividly imprinted in his memory and stood before his eyes.
He asked to be called Hank, but she insisted that he call her Laura. He presented her with a bottle of vintage wine as a gift, and she accepted it with gratitude. Hank remembered how his body reacted to Laura when he walked down the hall next to her and she led him into the dining room. While Laura introduced him to the other guests, he again heard her gentle, pleasant voice, then she introduced him to her eldest daughter, and he was pleased to catch the similarity of the timbres of their voices. Although Brooke was also charming, her beauty was dwarfed by her mother's. Hank remembered with pleasure how he was introduced to that elderly woman whom he took for Megan's mother, but who in reality turned out to be her grandmother ...
This is an assertive man
Women often say that real men have disappeared. An assertive man is nonsense. It’s easier to get a guy yourself than to expect some steps from him. Ladies also say that a man who knows how to achieve is the ultimate dream. But how true is this and when does a dream begin to turn into a nightmare? How to understand whether an assertive man is the ultimate dream or a nightmare? More precisely, how to determine in what cases a guy's behavior becomes terrible.
Photo gallery: An assertive man - the ultimate dream or a nightmare?
So, is a man’s assertiveness the ultimate dream or a nightmare? In order to understand this situation, you need to understand how much you like him. When a man has his heart set on him, his pressure will never irritate him. On the contrary, the girl will be happy that such a man is pursuing her. She will see only advantages in the fact that the guy is assertive. After all, now, when there is permissiveness around, guys rarely achieve anyone. Why, because there are many girls who agree to everything.
If a guy is assertive and doesn’t want to back down, it means he really likes you and his feelings are real. In this case, a guy of this type is a real dream come true. Next to him, the woman feels like a real princess, for whose sake the knight will go to kill dragons and look for the firebird. Of course, in the modern world, dragons and firebirds have their analogues, but the very fact that a man is ready to do anything for the girl of his dreams cannot but rejoice. But even when you like a guy, there must be some limit. Too much intrusiveness, too expensive gifts and too much attention also begin to get boring. The girl stops appreciating all this, takes it for granted, and sometimes gets angry.
Therefore, ladies love it when men know the limit and at first know how to restrain their feelings, not impose their presence and respect the desires of the lady. Modern girls, who have already lost the habit of the fact that a man can seek attention for an hour or a day, really value the ability to correctly win a woman. When a guy turns her life into a beautiful dream, she can't help but appreciate it. Of course, if you like the man. It was common for our grandmothers to receive flowers and gifts from several fans at the same time, over a period of more than one month. They could calmly choose, practically ignoring such signs of attention. And for us, such situations, in most cases, are more like a dream than reality. Therefore, any normal woman will undoubtedly appreciate such behavior. Most likely, she will even give up faster than she could, since such guys are rare, and no one wants to lose them. Although, if you have such a fan, you still shouldn’t give in too early. Think about whether you would have done this if he had not given gifts and courted him differently.
If you understand that you would not have started building a relationship with him earlier if it were not for his way of courtship, then you are not driven by feelings for him, but by admiration for his way of achieving. And this is not very good, since you may not like the person himself, but his grand gestures and expensive gifts. In this case, you need to sit down and calmly figure yourself out, soberly assessing his and your behavior, as well as your reaction to certain actions. If you understand that you admire his imagination, but you are practically not interested in him, it is best to wait or explain to the young man that his efforts are in vain, so you do not want to take up his time and break his heart. But, if you understand that you already like a guy, and his attitude and behavior only inflames your feelings even more, then you can safely succumb to his advances and begin to enjoy your relationship, rejoicing that your young man is one of the few who still knows how to be gallant and behave in such a way that a woman wants to be near him.
But when does a guy's assertiveness turn into a nightmare? Naturally, this happens when you simply don’t like a person. And no matter what he does, no matter how ideally he behaves, he still won’t be able to change anything, and will only irritate you even more. Unfortunately, guys don't understand this. They believe that they can get a girl to like them if they give gifts, make nice gestures and never back down. They don’t even imagine that with their behavior they are turning a lady’s life into a nightmare. The girl ceases to feel that she belongs only to herself. She gets the feeling that someone is constantly watching her and not letting her relax. She gets tired of constant phone calls and requests for meetings. If the lady doesn’t answer the phone, the guy calls non-stop, writes on social networks and looks for a meeting. To be honest, at times this behavior is not only annoying, but also scary. The girls begin to feel that they have contacted a maniac. By the way, sometimes the ladies are right. Therefore, if your obsessive admirer begins to threaten you or really stalk you, it is best to tell people who can protect you: friends or brothers. Let them talk to him and explain that you do not want to be in a relationship with this person. And if he does not understand calm speech and arguments, then the use of physical force will not be superfluous.
