Love will pass and become more and more serious and life will go on in a monotonous sequence, alternating day and night in the bustle of everyday life.
Questions:
Calculate your points carefully. The answer “yes” is worth zero points, the answer “no” is two points, and “occasionally” is one point.
Answers:
From zero to five points. Love does not plan to leave your heart, since the relationship with your loved one can safely be considered almost ideal.
From five to ten points. There is some instability in your relationship. Love has faded a little, but its flame can still be saved.
From ten to fifteen points. Love dies, but there is still hope for its resurrection. You just have to change your selfish attitude towards each other.
From fifteen to twenty points. Love is gone. It makes no sense to return it, since this is not possible.
Psychology of past love
Live separately for a while. Psychologists say this step will help you answer the question of whether the feelings have passed. Time will tell how long the check will take.
Remember all the pleasant moments that you once experienced together. Try to repeat them (to the smallest detail). By reliving moments from your past together, you will understand whether you have a wonderful, bright future.
Spend a few days in the company of your devoted admirer. Let him look after you. If you like the attention of a man who is in love with you, then the love for your “other half” has undoubtedly passed.
Watch yourself. Confess your love to your boyfriend (spouse). Does your heart flutter and burst out of your chest during a confession? Love remains inside you and is not going anywhere anytime soon. Take care of your feelings. Don't let anyone destroy them!
Talk to the person for several hours without interruption. If you notice that you are mostly talking about yourself, then you are no longer experiencing any love.
Review all the gifts that the young man gave you. Without difficulty and regret, can you part with them, throw them away, re-gift them? You no longer have any feelings towards this man.
Go on a romantic trip. If you feel pulled to the left, then it’s time to think about breaking up the relationship.
Love cannot end overnight. So that you wake up in the morning and realize that suddenly you don’t need the person lying next to you. She fades gradually - due to quarrels, misunderstandings, or even because of a new love for another man.
How to understand that feelings are already far in the past? And what should you do to “not hit” your once loved one with your confession of indifference to him?
It is during such disagreements that the “race” in thoughts begins:
- Where was I looking? I saw that he is a stubborn sheep, that he can’t prove anything, and what connects us anyway?
But my mother told me that he wouldn’t be any good! And why did I have to rush to marry him?
What a good boy I was in high school! It’s a pity that he’s already married, I would take him back!
A couple of minutes have passed since the quarrel, and how many nasty things have you already said in your mind about your husband! Moreover, if you are offended by your spouse and call the same mother in tears, she will gloatly confirm to you everything that is far-fetched. And with every quarrel it gets worse: you look at your husband with different eyes.
It is impossible to take away a woman's maternal instinct. In families where there are no children, love for a husband is often manifested through tenderness. But even if there is a child, the husband will still be the second child, no matter how brutal a male he is.
The only exceptions are infantile “women-daughters”. Yes, yes, those little girls who marry old daddies and live on their support. Mrs. Pink Brains. Or vice versa - “She-wolves in sheep’s clothing.” But in such families there is no smell of love.
But in truly loving families, the husband will never be left without “maternal” care, although he will play a secondary role after the child. And this is how it shows up:
- He must have a cutlet with the most fried flank – that’s how he likes it. And a richer puree. And pickled cucumber slices.
You can’t skimp on quality - he must have all the best: from soap and soap accessories to clothes.
The husband was tired and fell asleep - everyone should be silent at home! The child is at the computer with headphones, the cat is on the balcony, she is on Odnoklassniki on the phone.
By the way, you can read more about such manifestations of care in the chapter “From irritation to tenderness” from the article.
Feelings of tenderness, tenderness and tender pity for your spouse mean that the love in you is still deep. Neither quarrels, nor relatives, nor anyone at all can destroy it.
Because even after deep resentment, the realization comes that you and your husband cannot exist without each other, like a mother without a small child. And relatives who pour “fuel on the fire,” on the contrary, confirm this even more.
But if these feelings have disappeared, and you don’t care what cutlet he likes, what he wears and how he feels, then this is already a serious problem in the relationship. Love began to fade even more.
You get angry about everything:
- He eats while sitting on the sofa in front of the TV with his feet on the coffee table. Have you really not been embarrassed by anything about this before: this is a chair - they sit on it, this is a table - they eat at it.
It used to make you laugh out loud when he sings in the shower. And now I want to cover my ears: he yells in a bad voice, he’s embarrassed in front of the neighbors. You have reprimanded him more than once, but he just laughs it off. It's annoying!
Just recently you played computer games with him. And now his hunched back at the monitor is annoying. He sits and does nothing around the house, his brain is like that of a teenager.
With the appearance of irritation, respect for the spouse disappears:
- What makes me think that he is capable of more - he will sit on a pittance salary.
Nobody takes him seriously - neither the boss, nor my relatives. And his friends are generally losers.
And why am I having children from him? It would be a nightmare if his genes made themselves known when the children grew up.
You're happy when he disappears from home with his loser friends to go fishing somewhere for a couple of days. You can take a break from him for this time.
Another, and probably the main sign that the feelings have passed is complete indifference to him. You don't feel sexual attraction or jealousy. Just recently you were ready to grab the hair of a sexy neighbor who is making eyes at your husband, but now you don’t care about her.
- You don’t deny sex as such, but that passion is no longer there. Foreplay and the sexual act itself are already so familiar and familiar that you surrender only for the sake of “marital duty” without unnecessary emotions.
You won't hunt him down to find out if he's cheating on you or not. It’s better for you not to know about his possible infidelities, just because you don’t want to hurt your own pride. The less you know the better you sleep.
You compare your husband with other men and not in his favor at all. No, as long as you don’t cheat on him, but you notice how much more beautiful, smarter, more successful and sexier other men are than him.
And you begin to understand that you don’t feel sorry for him at all. The fact that he starts begging you for sex, that he is offended that you are not jealous, and that you compare him with other men. You don't care about his feelings.
No truly loving wife will ever allow herself to even think about cheating on her husband. She either needs to be tied up and raped or drunk into unconsciousness. There is no other way - love does not tolerate betrayal.
But it all starts with this comparison described above - when you stop respecting your own spouse, and other people’s men seem better than him. A little later you begin to accept their flirting, agree to have sex, and end up falling in love with some macho guy.
You do not feel remorse - you are indifferent to your husband. You don't care if he finds out and files for divorce. In general, it’s not clear why you still live with him, because you don’t even have pity for him. Well, maybe children, relatives or some obligations stop me.
One on one with love
How deeply mistaken is the person who complains about life, claiming: “I’m not like that - life is like that.” She blames everyone for her unhappy life and every time she clutches at love like a straw, following the lead of chemical reactions and a misconception about her true desires. Like a bull in a china shop, he smashes the crystal of new feelings, with fear and lust squeezing love in a stuffy embrace, just so that it will be like everyone else - like people.
However, we should not forget here that a person’s ability to think, and sometimes to think simply chaotically, does not always lead to the desired results. The bad habit of thinking for others instead of making one’s own hasty conclusions has rarely been brought to fruition.
Another action has never strengthened love - this is an attitude of dependence, a consumer perception of a partner - you give me, I give you. How many women blackmail their significant other with sex, threatening to deprive their partner of pleasures of this kind. Men, in turn, take revenge by ceasing to pay due attention to both their wife and the family as a whole.
The highest degree of love can be considered a relationship where everything is built without any conditions or rules. This should not be confused with stupid dedication and self-sacrifice, bordering on self-torture. People simply value each other, try to please, protect and care, without demanding anything in return, not even gratitude. However, such relationships are more likely from the realm of fantasy than from the real world, and our realities are built entirely on business relationships. So it turns out: just as the “deal” fell through once or twice, the relationship went downhill. And again the question: “Was there love?”
Yes, it happened and all that happened was just a mirage. These thoughts torment the soul, and it is excruciatingly painful to realize that time is wasted and cannot be returned. In such a situation, you should treat what is happening as a new experience, albeit sad, but so necessary. You always need to know how life can be, and not return to it again. Those who know how to learn precious lessons from various everyday situations and matters of the heart become stronger in spirit, wiser and truly ready for that one and only love in their lives.
A person cannot live without feelings and emotions; in a passive state he languishes. Nothing mobilizes in life more than the state of falling in love, when wings grow, abilities that were never thought of before are revealed, the world is filled with colors and fabulous aromas. And even if, over time, it becomes so that the question arises, “Was there love?” - don’t despair, it’s better to think about what kind of love awaits you ahead and what you can start doing for this right now.
In general, all discussions on the topic of love are certain conclusions of individual people, and who said that this is a common truth? Was there love or was it just infatuation, or maybe pity or passion - answer for yourself. Just look deep into yourself, feel every moment of your relationship.
As the hero of one wonderful film said: “Every woman has the love she desires.” And if at this stage of your life something is not going well, think, or better yet, feel what you really want: to suffer, to be a martyr and revel in self-pity, or to be loved, to excite consciousness and to be the hostess at this celebration of life .
Finally - an unusual technique
Let's do a thought experiment.
Imagine that you have the superpower to “read” men. It’s like Sherlock Holmes: you look at a man and you immediately know everything about him and understand what’s on his mind. You would hardly be reading this article now in search of a solution to your problem - you would not have problems in your relationship at all.
And who said that this is impossible? Of course, you can’t read other people’s thoughts, but otherwise there is no magic here - only psychology.
We advise you to pay attention to the master class from Nadezhda Mayer. She is a candidate of psychological sciences, and her technique has helped many girls feel loved and receive gifts, attention and care.
If interested, you can sign up for a free webinar. We asked Nadezhda to reserve 100 seats specifically for visitors to our site.
Alena Kotovich, columnist, blogger
As you know, the devil is in the details, and I would also add - in the details and shades. It is the little things that signal to us that love has passed, but we stubbornly do not want to notice this, because we are afraid to change our lives.
But it’s better to open your eyes sooner than to reproach yourself and your partner later for wasting your best years on a failed relationship. For example, I am always amazed when some girls write down their husband’s or boyfriend’s number on their phone not by name, but by the words “darling” or “my bunny.” Are they trying to convince themselves of this? Or they place photographs of the man of their dreams on the desk in the office. For what? As a constant reminder that this person is your soulmate?
And in already established families there is often clear planning of actions. And in order not to be able to be left alone with each other, couples think through their time together down to the smallest detail. Pilates classes, meeting with friends, lunch at mom's on the weekend - everything is planned down to the minute. Sometimes it seems to me that if such a couple makes even one spontaneous decision and is left alone, then their house of cards will simply collapse.
Of course, we cannot predict everything in advance, and we should not prepare for such a moment, because it may not happen. But still, if you notice in time that love is disappearing, perhaps you will have a chance to change something or, conversely, quickly end this relationship and start a new one!
So, the first call:
Remember, Anna Karenina at one point began to notice her husband’s ears and they annoyed her? They seemed so cute, but then bam - just a nightmare! If you have the same thing and something that previously did not cause a reaction is now constantly striking, repulsive and annoying - very big changes have occurred in your relationship.
Second call:
You start touching your man less, you just don’t feel the need for it anymore. And even when in a small room, you avoid mutual touching or do it on autopilot, without feeling anything.
Third bell:
You began to look at him less, and you only want to look at your partner in moments of anger or irritation. You stopped smiling at him just like that. And if you listen to yourself, you will notice that in his presence you hold your breath, which means that you are intuitively trying to remain calm.
Call four:
You are not at all interested in what your man is telling you, or you are simply pretending to listen to him carefully. And many girls say that sometimes there is a feeling that their partner is sucking all their energy. And conversations in such couples usually concern formal things that simply have nowhere to go.
Fifth bell:
You constantly catch yourself thinking that everything has already been said between you, nothing new will happen and life has become too boring and measured. Now you just need to tolerate this person, and then everything will pass without cataclysms. Such a small family swamp with a person who has quietly become a stranger to you. But the vague feeling that you are wasting your time haunts you.
In fact, there can be a lot of such calls, and I didn’t mention the very obvious ones, like constant irritation in the voice, lack of intimacy, scandals, insults, hanging out with girlfriends on weekends and cheating. Then the blind man will see that love has passed and the tomatoes have wilted.
Of course, all the sensations and experiences rushing through your soul do not mean that this is the end of love. After all, every couple can have crises, and mistaking them for the end of the relationship will be a fatal mistake. But if you realize that on your part there are no longer those feelings that you experienced before, unfortunately, it will be impossible to revive dead love. There is no need to waste time - life goes on, you just need to turn one page and start a new one.
Svetlana Rumyantseva
Love is a powerful feeling with an innumerable number of shades. They blame her when her heart breaks, she is hated when her life collapses. It connects destinies and gives bright moments of happiness. But love has one big, fatal flaw: it leaves. Former feelings in a relationship that developed many years ago are leaking away drop by drop. The fever of love among passionate couples instantly fades away. So why did the romantics sing of love as an eternal feeling? Why did theologians extol it, why did philosophers argue about it? She inspired writers, artists, musicians with her inconstancy and play of contrasts. Why is such a significant feeling so short-lived, and how do you understand that love has passed? For clarity, let's separate the concepts.
Advice from psychologists: What to do if love is gone?
Of course, you can’t wake up one morning and suddenly understand that I no longer love the man whom for many years I considered the closest and dearest.
This awareness takes quite a long time to mature, appears on the basis of numerous conflicts, problems, unspoken grievances, and ultimately confuses: what to do next?
Should I leave or try my best to revive a fading relationship? Psychologists advise not to jump too quickly and, when making a decision, to focus, first of all, on your own feelings.
From the outside it may seem that a woman who has realized that she no longer loves her man should not worry: she said “goodbye” and moved on. In fact, everything is not at all simple. The first feeling that comes to us is fear.
We are afraid to be alone, afraid to get hurt, afraid of change. But at the same time, we passionately want to be happy, and in self-violence - that is, in life with an unloved person - happiness is difficult to find. This is where the moment comes when, finally, it is necessary to place punctuation marks in the fateful sentence “you can’t leave, you can’t stay.”
How to make a decision?
If you find yourself in such a difficult situation, listen to yourself and your own feelings, while discarding the factors that immediately come to mind: a shared apartment, children, financial situation. At the same time, it is necessary to figure out whether in fact “the love has passed, the tomatoes have wilted” or there are feelings, but they are mired under a huge pile of problems and unspoken grievances.
It’s better to figure it out together, of course. That is why psychologists advise having a frank conversation with your partner and understanding what awaits your union in the future. Perhaps a heartfelt conversation will give you hope that everything can still be saved. In the end, no person is able to stop loving another overnight and irrevocably. And most couples, contrary to their opinion, are very far from the point of no return.
Why you shouldn't stay
Of course, if love has passed because your husband offends you in every possible way, then you shouldn’t even think about it - it’s unlikely that anything good will come out of this relationship. However, there are times when feelings cool down without a specific reason, and then it becomes quite difficult to make a decision to leave.
There are a number of factors that should not keep you close to an unloved person.
1. Children. Psychologists are sure that this is just an excuse. Women hide behind their children, justifying their dependence on their partner, and do not think about the fact that children can only be happy in happy families, and not in those where parents only play at love.
2. Shared housing, finances. Again, this is nothing more than dependence on a partner and a relationship. In the event of a breakup, the housing and financial situation will level out over time, so admit: you are not afraid of losing material wealth, you are afraid of losing someone you don’t even love anymore.
3. Sense of duty. It's about codependency. Codependent people are absorbed in the idea of saving their neighbor (“he won’t be able to live without me, he’ll be lost”). They believe that they must take care of others, sacrifice themselves, while ignoring their own needs. Unfortunately, in such relationships there can be no talk of love, and children cannot grow up to be psychologically healthy people.
4. Fear of loneliness. Most women, answering the question why they don’t leave an unloved man, say: “I’m afraid to be alone.” However, the fear of loneliness should not become the only reason for maintaining an exhausted relationship, since an alliance built on the desire of one partner to literally “merge” with the other (and sometimes it doesn’t matter at all with which one) is doomed to failure in advance.
How to return love
If you don’t want to ruin your relationship at all and you are ready to revive the disappeared feeling, we will give you a couple of ideas on how to do this.
1. Go to another level. What keeps people together over the years? Common interests, values, aspirations. Can this be said about your couple? If not, then try to understand and accept what is important to your partner. By feeling that you have something in common, you will become even closer.
2. Find something new. Experts are sure that love is a sincere interest in another person and an unquenchable desire to study him, getting to know something new every day. Therefore, if your man has long become a read book for you, try to look at him with different eyes. Look at him as if you were the other woman and he was a beautiful stranger. You will be surprised, but even a small effort coupled with the desire to see something new in your partner can take the relationship to a whole new level.
Some women decide to save the relationship without wanting to breathe new life into faded feelings. They believe that habit, mutual respect and even pity are enough. True, psychologists warn that such relationships, unfortunately, cannot be called healthy. Yes, such a connection can be quite strong, because partners, as a rule, live in the common hope that in the end everything will change by itself and they will become happy, but since this is impossible, the risk of disappointment is too great.
This question concerns each of us. We are confused. Often couples ask this question when the first relationship, colored by love and romance, moves on to calmer ones. It seems to people that relationships are developing poorly or have deteriorated; it seems that love has passed. We think that romantic love is love, and all other relationships are not love, but routine, boredom, newspapers at breakfast, the sofa and TV...
Today, I want to tell you that the transition from the stage of romantic love (which usually lasts the first six months) to another stage is a normal transformation of feelings. But this does not mean that at the new stage our feelings become less strong. It’s just that relationships have certain stages of development, their own rhythm. Romantic love is one of the stages in the development of relationships in a couple. This is an amazing and exciting time and it has its own goals and objectives. All attempts to delay this happy time lead to serious difficulties.
The stage of romantic love involves complete emotional and physical fusion between partners. At this stage, people are more likely to find similarities among themselves, while differences are practically ignored. We want to always be together, hear each other, see, feel. And that's great! At the stage of romantic love, the foundation of a future connection is laid and an emotional attachment is formed between people. As a result, we can already cope with the anxiety that appears at the beginning of a new relationship.
Gradually moving from the stage of romantic love to its completion, our feelings do not die, but the next stage begins. We begin to see the other person's face without the romantic light. We are tired of playing, showing our most wonderful sides, being attentive only to our partner’s problems, caring. We are already quite accustomed to each other and we no longer need to conquer each other. We can become more and more ourselves, which is also a risk in a relationship and is a test, both for us and for our partner, how much we are ready to stand ourselves and the other as real.
The first departure, the return to oneself, begins. Our needs and desires, our own goals and life goals, and hobbies come first. We need to look at each other with different eyes and see what we are like without masks, what we are like when we begin to behave in a familiar way, enter into a normal mode of life, when our expectations and fears rise to the surface of relationships. Many couples perceive this completely healthy crisis as a collapse of love: how is it that everything was wonderful, and suddenly conflicts began?
In fact, in order to move on to a happy relationship, at this stage it is necessary to say goodbye to the stage of romantic love, perhaps mourn it and move on to another relationship. This will be a relationship of mature love, when there is already mutual responsibility. Perhaps the intensity of feelings there decreases a little, but they become deeper. To put it simply, this is a completely different relationship.
Psychologist, family consultant Olga Krivova.
Someone's relationships do not always last for years and feelings between people never fade away. Sometimes you have to ask the question - why does love pass? This happens, but it has its own reasons and explanations.
The first case under consideration is why love passes away in men. Most often, it is the girl who is the problem; her behavior and other factors make this feeling disappear. More specifically, the following list can be given:
- Love disappeared because the girl stopped outwardly satisfying the man. The appearance of all female representatives changes over time, when she gets used to a man and does not bother with her appearance. Yes, it happens: due to changes in external features, a man loses interest in a woman. Therefore, you need to be as careful as possible with this.
- Someone changed it. It doesn't even matter who it is. If a female representative turns out to be unfaithful, it is not a fact that a man will be able to forgive her. In this case, love can quickly pass. But it also happens that the man himself cheats, which is why he gets a new girlfriend for the rest of his life. That is why betrayal is another option for why the feeling of love disappears.
- To the question of why the husband lost love, one can also give an answer regarding the fact that the character of one of the people has changed. For example, the wife began to behave differently than she did before. The man doesn’t like this, which is why the divorce occurs. Or, on the contrary, having rethought something, the male representative forgets about his beloved and the feeling simply disappears.
- Love can be lost due to banalities and sameness. You may not change anything for a long time, which will cause annoyance on the part of the male representative. There is no variety in bed relationships; you are in the same environment all the time. Your relationship may not develop at all. This leads to loss of love.
About love and falling in love
Falling in love is an unstable, fickle, stormy feeling. It comes suddenly, hits the head with the intoxication of feelings, intoxicates the mind. And human nature, hormones, pheromones are to blame. Reproduction is the basis of permanence. It is supported by natural. Here, even a prince, even a beggar, everything is one: the clouded consciousness cannot discern to whom the heart is so passionately drawn. Or maybe not a heart at all. Falling in love passes as suddenly as it comes. The man is sobering up, but the love hangover has not been canceled. That’s why it’s so bad, that’s why former couples are struggling.
Love is a stable, constant, reasonable feeling. They immerse themselves in it with complete dedication and understanding. Loving people look soberly at their soul mate, see, know their habits and inclinations, respect their partner’s freedom, care, and worry. In a love union, addiction is not painful.
Falling in love is a bright flash of fireworks, and love is a warm center of constancy.
Withdrawal
She is a frequent companion of the young, inexperienced, who have fallen in love for the first time. It’s painful to watch dream castles crumble, failed marriages break up, and imaginary children not be born. Having succumbed to love for the first time, young people build a new universe around the object of their feelings; it becomes the center of the universe. A person in love develops a feeling of dependence, which makes it difficult to leave the relationship. The terrible moment of the first breakup is the inability to admit the illusory nature of the made-up world. To a person in love, it seems that life cannot continue without the beloved. But what are they?
Young people feel pain from broken dreams. The exit from the first relationship is a road of uncertainty. How to live further? If you cling to your ex-lover as your only bastion of stability, it means your feelings have gone away. Fears of a new life remained.
A common phenomenon is . The status “In love with...” changes to “Everything is complicated.” Trying to delay the inevitable causes even more suffering. And the feelings cannot be returned. The old admiration was gone, the interest was gone. One obsessive and natural in its selfishness thought pulsates in my head: “What about me?” I want to prove my importance to the person I loved in the past, to hit him harder.
Some couples choose the tactic of alternating breakups and reconciliations, artificially heating up feelings.
Quarrels happen in every couple, but when they become commonplace, you need to forget about the seriousness of the relationship.
Another category susceptible to sensory withdrawal is people prone to deep inner experiences and persistent feelings. They masterfully heat up internal tension. Suffering becomes proof of “true love.” In fact, experiences come down to egocentric thoughts and the creation of an exalted image of a martyr.
Gradual cooling
Each time falling in love passes more and more unnoticed. The body seems to be developing immunity. The subconscious builds new defense mechanisms designed to protect a person from difficult experiences. Feelings dissolve imperceptibly. Life goes on smoothly. Everything is as usual, if not for a couple of unusual discoveries:
My thoughts became clearer. Previously, you thought about your lover every moment, could not concentrate on business and work, and spent your free minutes sending the next love message. Now you can easily switch to solving important problems and occasionally remember your former object of admiration. You spend more time with yourself, family, and friends. Now you don’t run, as before, to meet your lover. You now have time for your favorite TV series, hobby or evening in front of the computer. You notice flaws that you didn't see before. The ideal image of the beloved collapses and is replaced by a more realistic one.
These manifestations can become both a signal of fading love and a transitional stage between fleeting attraction and serious feeling. There is a huge gap between moderate cooling and cooling. When the heat of love passes, the opportunity arises to look at the person better, to feel him, to get to know him again. It takes time for the feeling of love to flare up. A relationship should be ended if a person is perceived as a stranger, and next to him there is a feeling of discomfort and tension.
What is a relationship crisis?
There is always a crisis to one degree or another. If people are included in the process, it can flow quickly and naturally. Or, if the process is delayed, then the crisis moves not to the relationship, but to a breakup. When falling in love ends, partners are faced with a choice: separate or try to build a relationship together. If they are focused only on sexual attraction (romantic love), thinking that this is true love, then their choice is obvious and the couple will separate. Thus, their next relationship will last 2 times less. They will become more and more disappointed in their partners, continuing their “circle of suffering” or may close themselves off from relationships altogether. What is a crisis? In this case, the crisis is a summing up of everything that happened in the relationship over a year or three. Without going through a crisis correctly, people often end up in codependent relationships, not knowing any other model of interaction between partners. This occurs when people experience emotional trauma or misconceptions about marriage in childhood.
A crisis is the moment of transition from one type of relationship to another, that is, the evolution of relationships that happens to a couple more than once. But its first stage: the transition from romantic love to LOVE. This is a difficult period, which is characterized by: - decreased libido, decreased sexual desire for each other, - increased critical vision of the partner, - the emergence of claims against our soul mate: we begin to see our partner in a completely different light. In addition, we begin to notice the shadow sides of our partner that we previously ignored. And we didn’t notice this before because the release of hormones did not allow us to “consider” them. In this regard, during the period of falling in love, a lot of criticism and claims are brewing, which are restrained by this factor. We remain silent, tolerate, and perceive some of our partner’s shadow sides in a rosy light. For example: she was so sweetly absent-minded, she forgot about everything all the time, and it seemed so funny during the period of falling in love. But when the scales fall from your eyes, this moment in your partner begins to irritate you greatly.
Or, on the contrary, she liked the man’s constant jealousy and his explosive character. And then, on the contrary, she begins to fear his aggressive behavior. This cannot be avoided; the crisis will come sooner or later anyway. How to prepare for it?
If you are currently in the stage of falling in love, try to use this period so that later it will benefit your relationship. Nature has given us such a powerful hormonal background so that we can “grow together” and connect with each other. But most partners don't use this. They simply enjoy the period of falling in love without using its resource.
