Well, the day has come when you will meet him face to face. Any doubts that he really likes you are dispelled. This means there is a chance to become his lover and hear a sincere declaration of feelings. But why are all women so nervous on the first, or even the second, third date? Everything is simple, just a little more, and before your eyes there will be the one you dreamed about at night and thought about instead of doing homework, assignments, and work. If you are worried, it means that your feelings for him are really valid. Do you think there's something wrong with him? Believe me, men feel even worse before their first date. It’s not for nothing that some of them miss a drink or two, and, being carried away, are sometimes unable to utter a word. Don't scold him too much, this is how he disguises his shyness. So, what does a representative of the fairer sex need to know before preparing for a first date? Let’s find out in order.
What are we waiting for
Of course, when preparing for the first meeting with someone you care about, you live in hope. That everything will work out well and your relationship will continue. The fact that he will not disappoint you and will appear the way you imagined him. The fact that the meeting will be easy and relaxed, and you will not let him doubt that you are the best and only for him. But we must understand that the meeting must be mutually desired and agreed upon. And here it’s worth deciding whether to wait for his initiative or take decisive steps yourself.
Despite the rapid surge of feminism in the modern world, men still love modest women who do not get ahead of their dad. So wait, let him mature and really show a desire to meet you. But there is one “But” - his character. If your heart belongs to a modest person who is not able to take the first step, take matters into your own hands, otherwise years of waiting will not lead to anything good. But before that, make sure that he also has an interest in you. You see that the other person is passionate and does not want to build a relationship with you - give up this idea, no matter how offensive it may be to you.
He's just shy - what are your actions?
Hint that you can buy a ticket to a concert with your favorite singer or group. If it doesn't help, buy tickets to a movie or a concert and invite him, but do it in such a way that he can cancel his plans. Seeing that you tried for him and spent money, he will never refuse.
The situation is as follows: you don’t know each other well, but you have common friends. Inviting him is somehow inconvenient, but you can show your interest when communicating at parties, significant dates that your friends celebrate. The best way to find out whether there is a chance for a relationship is to “cast the bait.” You need to share with one of your friends that you really liked that guy. Believe me, word of mouth works almost faster than the Internet. At the speed of sound, your words will reach his ears, and he will show interest himself. If not, he’s either too modest or you’re not his type.
Try to get close to this person. Find out from mutual friends what interests he has, what he does, what hobbies he has, etc. And as soon as the information is in your “hands,” when the opportunity arises, tell him that you really love this and that (everything he is interested in). Just look, he will invite you fishing, take you out of town for a horse ride, entertain beer and ramming lovers at his favorite club, etc.
Why is it difficult to meet people remotely?
Despite the fact that many areas have now migrated to the Internet, love and relationships will always remain promising offline. You know that I am not against virtual dating, provided that it must continue in real life. By the way, there are really working ways to make a man fall in love by correspondence.
However, not everyone can easily communicate remotely. Some are embarrassed to write first, others are against posting personal photos. What other difficulties are there in dating online?
1. There is always a risk of running into fakes or scammers. It is this fact that scares girls the most. But if you follow basic safety rules, you can avoid unpleasant situations. Do not post explicit photos, do not reveal your place of work, or tell details about your family.
2. There is no opportunity to fully demonstrate non-verbal techniques. How to make a man fall in love with you without using gestures or touches? And which screen will convey all your energy, right, my beautiful ones? After all, this is a magical weapon! I tell you more about how to use it in “Basic Women’s Course No. 1.”
3. It’s difficult to start a conversation; it’s not clear what to talk about. Many girls believe that they are much more likely to “hook” a man in person. A smile, a flirtatious voice - and here he is at your feet. There is no need to create illusions about this. A worthy young man appreciates a woman’s intelligence and erudition. What kind of girls find it easy to fall in love with a man? Interesting, educated, highly spiritual. I talk about what exactly a guy should write about himself in the article “Is women’s initiative punishable? Getting to know a man by correspondence the right way.”
4. There is no certainty that online communication will develop into something serious. Even if a girl liked a young man during the correspondence, she is more likely to treat this as a carefree flirtation. Some even believe that men come to dating sites only for sex. Like, it’s still not possible to seriously fall in love with a man.
Getting ready for a date the right way
Probably one of the readers witnessed the hysteria of a girl who lost contact with the guy she liked after the first date. She selflessly refused get-togethers and parties, and stupidly flipped through her phone's call log in the hope of finding a missed call. No, if he didn’t call, it means he didn’t like you. Something went wrong. And if he initially agreed, there was sympathy, a desire to get closer. In order not to step on the “rake” of such losers, we suggest you carefully listen to our advice.
What to wear to your first meeting
- Most heartbreaking love stories focus on what a woman looks like on the first date. Dressed modestly, gracefully, but tastefully. Men, apparently, are fascinated by tenderness and mystery. And small wildflowers in the form of blooming flax or cornflowers will arouse only positive, pure desires in his thoughts.
- As for shoes, it is believed that neat shoes with low heels will be just right. The main thing is that the girl knows how to wear it all. But these days things are completely different. If you feel more comfortable in your favorite jeans, sneakers or stylish sneakers, please wear them. It’s much worse when, on the first date, because of tradition, she constantly trips because of her heels, catches her dress on branches, etc. It's important to comply here. For a meeting in nature or a park, comfortable jeans are better, but in a cafe you can wear something more suitable.
- The issue of clothing is a matter of comfort. High-heeled shoes can quickly tire you out and cause your feet to chafe. What kind of pleasure can we talk about then, when the first desire is to quickly get home and remove these “shackles”. New, never used shoes can play a particularly cruel joke. The same applies to dresses, skirts, and trousers. Before going out in public wearing them, try them on at home, walk around, and get used to the outfit.
- What not to do: Don’t go on a first date in too revealing clothes - mini skirts, deep neckline, large slit, too tight figure, etc. All this is a sign of bad taste and vulgarity. It feels like you are going to meet a pimp, who would like that? Moreover, the man will decide that you are ready for “anything” and will start pestering you. Don't be surprised, you yourself pushed him to this.
- Under no circumstances should you be like the girls pole dancing and don’t even think about putting on “tons” of makeup. Everything should be elegant, he should understand that you have subtle and elegant taste. When meeting, men project everything into the future. And it is completely unpleasant for him to imagine his family life next to one that looks vulgar and tasteless. A sense of style also speaks about the mental component of a woman. And what kind of man wants to see a lady with oddities, an eccentric and vulgar nature as the mother of his children?
- No one says that you don’t need to wear makeup for a meeting. Like, let him love the way he is. We forgot - men love with their eyes, whether we like it or not, so be consistent. Cosmetics should highlight your beauty and look natural. Before applying it, choose the right foundation, hide all the imperfections of your skin on the face, neck and décolleté. And make sure that the applied shadows and mascara do not smear in the midst of communication, you risk frightening the man, and he will simply run away.
You just need to focus on your dignity, maybe it’s your lips or eyes. The tone depends on the time of the date. For a daytime meeting you should use less bright colors, in the evening brighter colors.
How to smell
A woman’s aroma is an important component of the image that a man paints in his thoughts. And in general, psychologists say that if he buys into your scent, he is yours forever. And you should remember - the aroma should match your appearance. There is no need for too strong and sweet odors that cause an attack of suffocation. Give preference to light, refreshing floral notes.
What should the hairstyle be like?
As for the hair, its shape should completely match your outfit. But please, don’t build Babel towers or domes on your head a la Lena Lenskaya, but don’t even think about going on a date with disheveled, unwashed locks. Men adore women's curls and are simply delighted with freely flowing strands.
Your image immediately takes on a romantic and gentle style. A good option is curls pinned at the back of the head. And it seems strict, but on the other hand it is elegant and tasteful.
Small but important details
Beautiful and well-groomed nails are a clear sign of a clean woman who knows how to take care of herself. No need for 3-centimeter false nails or blue or bright green polishes. Let everything be modest and beautiful. Otherwise, you might end up in his eye with your claws or you won’t be able to taste the oysters properly. Just imagine what the picture will look like when you are trying to eat, but your nails do not allow you to bring food to your mouth.
Distractions
And finally, the final touch to the portrait is your ability to take time to communicate. What most often gets in the way of this? That's right, our mobile devices. If you might get a serious call from your family, colleagues or one of your friends, put it on silent mode. Otherwise, turn off the phone, do not let it interfere with the development of your relationship with its beeps and beeps for every message.
Where to meet
Of course, if the initiator was a man, then, as a rule, he should ask about your preferences, where it would be easier and more pleasant to communicate. But modern youth are structured differently - the guy decides in any case, but when inviting him on a date, you need to share your desires.
A very important point. Most dating these days takes place through the Internet, and few women understand who she is about to meet. She doesn’t know what kind of person he is, what thoughts and plans he has for her. Of course, there is always room in the soul for the hope that there will be communication with a good and decent man. But this doesn't always happen. In order to protect yourself from troubles, do not agree to his offers to meet at his home, in a quiet and secluded park, outside the city, etc. The date should only take place where you wish. The place should be open and crowded. And also, tell your close people that you are going to meet a stranger from the Internet. It would be nice if someone could accompany you. The measures may be too strict, but these are the times, you need to be careful.
Second, no less important point. If a man asks where you would like to meet, do not make a date at an expensive restaurant or club. It is quite possible that he does not have such funds and decides that he is unlikely to be interesting to you. Most males are embarrassed to talk about their financial problems. And even if you know him well, have shown interest, and he responds to you, then trouble can cause a break in the relationship.
The opposite point. He invited you to an expensive restaurant, and financial troubles do not allow you to purchase the appropriate outfit. Yes, and you will feel uncomfortable in such a place. Talk to him and let him know that it is better to move the date.
A great place for a first meeting is a cinema. Especially if there are no common topics for conversation with a man yet, and you are just about to establish a closer relationship. Once you finish watching, there will be something to talk about. Discuss the film, the performance of the characters, share what films you like, what genre you prefer, etc. But before you go to the cinema, discuss together the picture you are going to see. Quite often, the plot and genre also influence further communication. A horror film, oddly enough, brings people closer together, but melodramas, on the contrary, can cause double feelings and cool the ardor. The thing is, horror stories evoke a corresponding reaction in girls and, of course, she tries to “cover herself up” with her boyfriend. Here is the first step towards closer contact.
The key to a successful date
Femininity, grace, posture, smile, good mood and a man will be conquered!!! After reading this article, you will understand how to look irresistible on the first date and win a man’s heart. If you still have questions and you are not sure about something, I suggest that you attend an individual makeup consultation a few days before your date, or even before it. This will allow you:
- gain knowledge and skills to work with your face
— learn more about date-appropriate styles
— get a lot of positive emotions and go on a date wearing makeup from a professional makeup artist!
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Meeting - behavior
While you are going to meet him, a million thoughts flash through your head - how to say hello, how to look, what to say, what to order, etc. Stop, stop worrying. Let everything go by inertia. In this case, the main thing is to be yourself and not show off.
Be late, but not too late. For a maximum of 15-20 minutes. Modern men don’t really like to wait; they’ll sit for a while and leave. In case of unforeseen circumstances, call him back and warn him that you will come later.
Be yourself. Don't play, don't show off, your game will be exposed and he will decide that you are a banal liar. Consider the relationship over.
Pull yourself together and stop being shy. If he invited you, it means he likes you, and this is a reason to be more confident in yourself. Your task is to strengthen his feelings for you. And indecision, timidity and fear can play a cruel joke. After all, it is precisely because of their tightness that people get stuck in funny and ugly situations. There is no need to be afraid of failure on the first date; the second, third time will come and all the tension will dissipate.
Don't go to a meeting in a bad mood and looking sad. A date should only take place against the backdrop of a positive attitude and give joy. You will sit like Alyonushka, sadly bowing your head, looking into the future with apathy and hopelessness - the man will get up and leave. As a last resort, he will take you home and breathe a sigh of relief, realizing that he does not need such a Nesmeyana.
Keep yourself within limits and don't be too confident. No one has yet canceled the principle that men are more attracted to weak women who need their protection. Also, you shouldn’t pretend to be a completely defenseless sheep - there should be a “golden mean” in everything.
The first date is not for you to open up completely to your boyfriend. He should not know from the first minutes of communication why your parents divorced, or why your older brother decided to live separately. What is your grandmother's illness and how much does your dad earn? All this is personal information, and the relationship is just beginning. You are not yet close enough to be so frank.
Match the moment. Your man jokes all evening and creates a relaxed, easy atmosphere - laugh and be happy. Of course, there is no need to laugh loudly or squeal. And even if his joke is not entirely successful, smile. All these are manifestations of his excitement.
Talk about everything except personal things. Be interested in what he is interested in, and answer him - what hobby has fascinated you lately. Tell us how you spent your last vacation, what your impressions of your trip abroad were. What delicious dishes were served in this or that city, what do you think about exotic fruits, etc.
We all know that women love with their ears, and men are great at showing off. To make a positive impression on you, he will begin to tell you how he climbed to the top of Elbrus, caught a half-ton fish, independently disassembled and assembled a car down to the screws, etc. Such stories are intended only for first dates - appreciate and praise the big child, thereby indicating your favor. Just know when to stop and don’t go overboard when you praise his appearance, talents and habits.
Don't laugh for no reason. It is best to respond to his jokes and jokes with a smile, and if necessary, take on a serious face. It's stupid to keep smiling if he's telling a sad story.
Gestures. This is where an anecdote suggests itself: “Abram was given a new phone in a retro style.” You need to hold the earphone with one hand and the microphone with the other. And then he becomes indignant - “But what am I going to say, my hands are full!” So, stop gesticulating like a Caucasian seller at the market. No matter how emotional your story is, keep your hands to yourself, at most “flying” a little. Why can't it? Excessive gesticulation, as a rule, is characteristic of persons with an unbalanced psyche. Hands are a tool and at the subconscious level, each of us tries to deviate when someone raises them up or to the sides.
Don't bother asking about his income. Perhaps you do not have mercantile thoughts, but simply bad upbringing. But the man will immediately understand as needed - she is not interested in me, but in my wallet.
There is no need to share about your past relationships. Yes, you want to indicate that you are tempted by many novels, but for a man this is a sign of easy access, promiscuity. And instead of positive advertising, you will achieve either harassment or a man’s refusal to continue communicating with you. Who wants to be one of the “out”?
You don't need to tell your boyfriend all your shortcomings, don't share it. If destined to happen, he will learn about them in practice. You may object: “He’s hardly ideal either.” Yes, but few people admit their shortcomings. And your frank story may create the impression that you have too many of these flaws.
No matter what level the feminist movement reaches, still remain a modest woman. Do not invite a man on a date; let the initiative come only from him. He said nothing after the first date, didn’t promise anything, doesn’t call for a couple of days - no problem, be patient. He is also a person and should think about whether it is worth continuing communication with you. And if he doesn’t call, it doesn’t matter, meet someone else.
To kiss or not. Here the opinions of psychologists differ. Some argue that a girl should not show her interest in continuing the acquaintance after the first date. So she intrigues him, attracts him, forces him to besiege the “impregnable fortress.” Others are sure that a kiss with someone with whom you wanted to bring your relationship closer is consent. In any case, it’s up to you to decide whether to kiss or not. The main thing is not to do this with a person with whom there is no desire to continue communication.
Intimacy on the first date. Yes, modern morals fully allow intimacy after the first meeting. And most often the offer comes from a man. Here you need to think a hundred times before agreeing. No matter how much you like it, think about what conclusions will be drawn. Perhaps this is a test. After spending an amazing night with you, he may decide that this is how you spend time with all the guys you don't know well. Helpful advice - refuse his offer and don't be afraid that he will be put off by your decision. If so, this is not your hero. Normal - on the contrary, will be happy and will continue to besiege your inaccessibility.
And what after
Well, your first meeting is coming to an end. As we have already decided, there will be no intimacy, but we need to somehow end the communication beautifully so that the desire to meet again arises. Take a walk through the beautiful park and visit the city fountains. It is important that he guides you through, otherwise there will be no continuations. Before entering your entrance, thank the man for a beautiful and pleasant evening. There's a whole night and day ahead. Both participants in a romantic relationship should carefully think about whether it is worth continuing, whether it makes sense to connect their destiny with this person. If you are not sure about it, do not give false hopes. The next morning everything looks different - you come to your senses, your thoughts “sober up”. And most importantly, you must remain yourself and not question the signals of your soul.
