Ask any person who has had an affair at work, why he needs it and how he, in fact, managed to have an affair in such an inappropriate place. We are sure that in nine cases out of ten you will hear the following answer: “It just happened that way...” While psychologists cannot agree on why people decide to have affairs and betrayals (after all, most often family people get carried away with romances at work , at least one of the couple is not free), experts agree that this is not happening by chance. At some point, at some level, the choice was made consciously. Agree, if you enter into a romantic relationship with someone, then you first had to decide that you would do it. No one could force you!
And you hesitated (before making such a decision) for a reason. You should have understood perfectly well that if the hidden becomes obvious, you will face a lot of trouble - gossip and condemnation from employees, complaints from superiors, problems in your own family. And, if you haven't already taken the rash step, we want to urge you to be careful and not start any non-official relationships in the office. Perhaps you haven’t even thought about anything like this, but you feel that some of the male employees are showing increased attention to you, clearly going beyond the scope of his official duties. How to behave in this case? How to resist temptations?
How to prevent unnecessary relationships in the office
Try to adhere to the following ten rules for your behavior in the workplace:
- Never become emotionally intimate with a colleague of the opposite sex, especially if you or your colleague are family people.
Infidelity can insidiously creep into even the strongest partnerships. Even if you didn’t allow yourself anything specific, you just felt that you were not completely indifferent to your employee - you should sound the alarm! Psychologists who conducted a survey among six and a half thousand women found that 92% of them believe that betrayal occurs on an emotional level, even when physical intimacy has not yet occurred. And only 8% of women surveyed believed that they did not cheat on their husbands, feeling sympathy for another man. - Keep All Friendships Outside the Office
Since all office romances begin with simple emotional attachment, we want to warn you that even the most innocuous workplace friendship has enough potential to turn into something more. - Never drink alcohol in the company of co-workers
Drinking alcohol during or after work with a colleague of the opposite sex is one of the fastest ways to start a relationship at work, because alcohol leads to a decrease in your control over yourself and removes all inhibitions. Even just having a cocktail or a glass of wine during a business lunch can lead to more intimate conversations and your inappropriate behavior. - Precisely because you are a woman, you should be especially careful.
Most likely, you do not even think about any romances at work; but this does not mean that one of your male colleagues does not dream of an affair with you. Men deliberately try to stay as close to attractive women as possible, try to invite them to lunch and the like, precisely because they want to find an opportunity to date them. Try to avoid situations that may encourage emotional connections. - Do not make appointments outside the office if you are expected to be alone with a member of the opposite sex.
If you take your reputation seriously, then always take one of your friends with you, for example, if there is a need to see someone from male employees outside the office. Try to schedule all your meetings to be group meetings because this helps reduce the intimacy factor. - While in the office, never forget: this is work, nothing personal can happen here
. The office is intended for business, and not for gossip or romantic adventures. Don't allow any flirting, don't wear clothes that are too revealing, try to look and act like a professional and not like a flirty young lady. - If, despite all your efforts to behave according to all the rules, you still feel attracted to your colleague, try to soberly think about your situation.
What could your secret romance at work turn out to be? What kind of trouble does exposure threaten? What are you missing in your own marriage? Unrest? Deep emotional connection? If this is the case, then analyze your marriage and find out why it so happens that you are missing something. If this is not done, the most unpleasant thing may happen - you will fall head over heels in love with your new chosen one, but there is no guarantee that he is ready to change his whole life for you! As most often happens, everything will be forgiven to him, but you can lose everything - your new love, your family, and even your job. - You must be aware that a man who wants to have a relationship with you, most likely, does not feel the same way as you do. Unfortunately,
this is only for us, women, an emotional connection is important when we enter into an intimate relationship. But men who encourage their pretty employees to have numerous affairs at work (can you be sure that this is your chosen one’s first and only affair at work?), in most cases, are looking only for sex, and nothing more. What they won’t say to convince you to put both soul and body at his disposal! But you must understand that you should not always take this seriously. - Keep the boundaries of your emotional space closed.
Do not share too personal information with colleagues of the opposite sex in your office, no matter how friendly his attitude towards you may seem to you. All intimate details should remain only between you and your partner. Don't forget that for women, emotional infidelity too often leads to physical infidelity! If a conversation with an employee becomes too intimate, try to politely steer the conversation in another direction that is related to professional issues. Put up barriers when you feel that a man is trying to get closer to you. - Work on your relationship with your spouse
No matter how tempting an affair at work may seem to you, you may pay too much for this hobby; so avoiding it would be the best option. So get out of the cloud of hormones that are clouding your brain and stop thinking only about yourself. Remember that you have a family, a beloved husband, and do not plunge yourself and him into emotional stress and suffering.
Romance in relationships. 5 rules of “romanticism” for a married couple!
What is romance in a relationship? For a woman, romance means compliments, flowers, sweets, candles and other manifestations of attention, tenderness and care. This is exactly how a man behaves during the candy-bouquet period, charming and conquering the weaker sex with all the methods dear to our feminine hearts. A man's view of romance is more specific.
You become more attractive to him by showing partner qualities combined with natural femininity. If you decide to go extreme in the company of your loved one - camping overnight in a tent or going down the river in a kayak, know that your man will definitely appreciate it.
How does romantic reality begin? A chance meeting on a morning jog (a tricky move), going to football with a guy (his rules!), a playful SMS (most likely yours), a passionate man’s kiss (who can resist you?!) and delicious homemade pizza (knockout for a man in love!).
Before you know it, you are already spending all your free time as a couple in love, and perhaps even living together ! HOORAY! WE ARE ALREADY MARRIED! What's next? How to maintain a romantic note in a relationship, preserve the tenderness and tenderness of first meetings in everyday family life?
Rule No. 1. Frank conversation
When you're already in a close relationship, it's time to talk to each other about romance. Of course, during the first, exciting meetings, everything that was happening seemed incredibly romantic and ideal to you! Caught in the pouring rain together? Did you run into a cafe, drink mulled wine and kiss? Yes, these are all wonderful moments of first dates.
The next stage is the reality of life. How to maintain romance for two? The answer is quite simple - discuss with your partner what is an important expression of romance for both of you. Let everyone write their own list of activities, fantasies and activities that bring pleasure and delight, and compare both lists.
Of course, your views will not coincide 100%, but you will be able to find common ground and better understand each other’s desires.
Rule No. 2. Create your own traditions!
Each couple living together has their own personal romantic moments, which are formed in the process of courtship and first meetings. Especially us girls reverently remember the date of the first date, the first kiss or the anniversary of marriage. Make these memorable dates an occasion for a romantic evening alone with each other!
Sharing pleasant memories revives the senses and awakens emotions! By the way, men usually remember the romantic events themselves, but not the exact dates. Remind him of your traditional important dates in advance, several times (to be sure!), and discuss your future romantic evening together in detail, dream out loud.
For example, it is a very good tradition for two to take a bubble bath with the addition of ylang-ylang essential oil, which is famous for its stimulating effect.
Candles, flirting, a kiss, a glass of wine - and the man is yours forever!
Remember, girls, that a man is unlikely to initiate romantic manifestations without your persistence and prompting. Keep the flame of romance alive in family relationships in every way possible!
Rule No. 3. Romance on a schedule
Yes, it doesn't sound very attractive. However, for couples who have lived together for quite a long time, this is the way to preserve romance and freshness of feelings.
Many people who are happy in family relationships have “their own” romantic day , usually the day before the weekend.
Alternate between a nice romantic dinner for two in the comfort of your own home and going out together in full dress.
Such planned events contribute to the renewal of feelings, allow you to get to know each other in various forms - from home gatherings by candlelight to bright club parties with dancing until the morning. Sometimes it’s very nice to just spend time together, without rushing anywhere: have a delicious dinner with your loved one, drinking wine, and then watch a movie together and fall asleep, hugging gently!
Create your own family signature dish, for example, bake duck in honey mustard sauce. Duck meat stimulates male potency well! Let the fact of eating a delicious duck at home be fixed in the mind of a man, with a continuation in the form of a passionate night of love!
Rule No. 4. Romance without rules!
Don't give in to the boring, dull rhythm of everyday life! Remember that romance on a schedule is like a big, rich, delicious homemade pie that you can’t live without. But romance without rules is a real adventure for two, a sudden entrance into the world of dreams, secrets and pleasure for only two truly loving people!
Give free rein to your joint fantasies, including your most intimate ones. Write your man a message of erotic content, list everything you plan to do with him. Start with light flirting, and then list your evening scenario together point by point.
Be sure to ask him to buy something romantic for the meeting. A man must also make an effort to create an atmosphere of love. For example, order him your favorite flowers, champagne and a heart-shaped cake (no diet this evening)!
And your feminine intuition will tell you in what form to meet a man from the doorstep - a cute romantic cat or a strict teacher in glasses and stockings!
Rule No. 5. Travel together
It’s always useful to get away from your familiar, albeit very romantic place, and go on a trip! New experiences can have an incredible impact on a couple's relationship.
Moreover, this applies to both a trip abroad to an exotic unexplored country, and a picnic in the nearest area, a hike in nature with delicious quick snacks (it is also advisable to cook shashlik over a fire).
Communication with nature has a positive effect on romantic relationships in the family , especially if you both lead an active lifestyle and are interested in the world around you.
Research shows that in order to maintain the flair of romance in a relationship, a statistical married couple needs to maintain a certain “balance of new impressions.” These are two joint trips a year (at least 10 days each) and regular small outings depending on the season.
Have a weekend in the fresh air, take cool photos, record a video together, and your life will sparkle with new romantic colors!
So, the main conclusions for family people, in terms of romance, are the ability to express their desires quite clearly and realize them together. Focus on each other's needs, listen and take initiative. Remember that men and women perceive romance in relationships differently! Talk, imagine and experiment!
Source: https://soloha.info/romantika-v-otnosheniyax-kak-soxranit-romantiku-v-seme/
How to hide an affair at work
When people spend at least six to seven hours a day in the same office, it's not surprising that workplace romances flare up between employees from time to time. You may think your emotions can be contained, but love never asks for permission, and romance can flare up unexpectedly. That’s why workplace romances are not that uncommon.
But management, if it hears about such cases, is usually very unhappy with this turn of events, because it believes that this relationship interferes with productivity. What to do if you also had to become one of those who was overtaken by love in the office? Here are some tips to help you keep your romance a secret:
- Always behave professionally in the workplace.
Try not to touch each other, do not linger around idle to have intimate conversations, and leave flirting for a more appropriate place. Romance is the last thing on your mind at work. Therefore, always remember: even if you know what kind of underwear your chosen one wears, this does not mean that in the office you can behave like close people and not like employees. - If your passion keeps you away from each other throughout the day, then plan your meetings so as not to be caught off guard.
You don't want anyone to see you kissing somewhere behind a safe or a closet with workers folders? If you really want to chat right now, then choose a place somewhere on an empty staircase. And when scheduling a meeting after hours, choose a location away from work. Keep in mind that it is better to get there separately, because nothing will arouse the suspicion of your colleagues more than if you go somewhere from the office together. - Do not forget, as they say, to cover your tracks.
Do not leave any evidence of your romantic relationship with a co-worker. This could be anything from undeleted emails to traces of your lipstick on his shirt. By the way, stop sending emails to each other from your work computers, as it's only a matter of time before one of you accidentally sends a personal message to the wrong address. - Ignore gossip
It may happen that someone really suspects something about your affair. Under no circumstances start making excuses or denying rumors. It’s better to show with all your appearance that this topic is not even worth mentioning, not like the completely identical dresses that were bought by two employees from the neighboring department.
How to end an affair with a co-worker
You already know that getting romantically involved with a co-worker can have serious consequences for your career and emotional well-being, and things are even more complicated if one or both of you have families. And if you decide to end a risky relationship, then we will tell you how to do this in such a way as to minimize possible damage:
- Understand that leaving an infidelity-provoking relationship is the best thing you can do. You may feel a deep emotional connection with your co-worker, but don't put your families at risk.
- Try to distance yourself from your affair partner. Stop calling him affectionate names and nicknames, try to ensure that your routes in the office intersect as rarely as possible.
- Arrange to meet with a work colleague in a calm environment where no one will disturb you. Explain to him that you want to end your relationship because you don't want to destroy families and hurt loved ones. Also tell him that you must end absolutely all relationships except work relationships, even friendships. You must clearly dot all the i’s.
- Delete his number from your phone and delete all contacts from social networks. It is very important to no longer have any contact with him.
- In the worst case scenario, you should even change your job. Especially if your affair does become public and this could seriously threaten your reputation.
There are few situations that can complicate your life more than infidelity in marriage and romance at work. It can be very difficult to end an affair, especially if it happened with a colleague at work where you spend more time than at home. However, this is what you must do if you want to save your family and your good name.
Where has the romance gone?
Whatever the duration of the marriage, both spouses want to always be loved. They want to be appreciated and extolled, but unfortunately, romanticism in relationships takes up less and less space over time until it fades away.
For a woman, the first priority is solving various household problems: from raising children to cooking, so she does not have much time left for her husband. For their part, men become jealous of everyday life, to which the wife devotes so much of her time. Such relationships lead to conflicts and disagreements that overshadow all the beautiful and pleasant things that love has given them.
