First stage of labor
Stage I – the longest – dilation of the cervix. During this period, the cervix softens, straightens and dilates to 10-12 cm. The average duration is: for primiparous women 11-12 hours, for multiparous women 7-8 hours. In the case of rapid labor, this period can be reduced to 4-6 in primiparous women, and 2-4 in multiparous women.
If you have moved to the 2nd stage in a shorter time, then labor is called rapid , but this is not a very good option for both mother and child, because it is fraught with serious injuries to both (the child may receive head and spinal injuries, which will affect his entire life!). Therefore, be patient, try to relax and not start pushing, even if there is a strong desire, until your doctor allows you to do this, making sure that the cervix is sufficiently dilated.
It may also be the other way around: the first stage is delayed for a longer time. If this period exceeds 16-17 hours, the doctor may decide to induce labor or even a caesarean section. You need to understand that prolonged labor greatly exhausts a woman, leaving no strength for the 2nd stage of pushing. In addition, if the waters break at the very beginning of labor, there is a risk of infection of the baby, so the doctor may prescribe antibiotics.
Prolonged labor is also dangerous if the baby is entangled in the umbilical cord, because he begins to experience acute oxygen starvation, in which case the doctor decides to perform a cesarean section.
In turn, this stage is divided into two more parts: early (latent) and active labor. A woman may not notice early labor or confuse it with so-called training contractions, because these contractions begin painlessly, at large intervals. But at this moment the cervix is already beginning to soften, smooth out and expand. When contractions become stronger, more intense, longer and occur at shorter intervals, this means that you have entered active labor.
At this time, the cervix begins to dilate faster, preparing the way for the baby. This stage is also called “transition”. Let us note once again that at this stage it is very important to be able to relax and not start pushing until the cervix is fully dilated in order to avoid injury to both yourself and the baby. There are a number of exercises, including breathing ones, that will successfully help you cope with this. You will be told about them, for example, at courses for pregnant women, or ask your doctor about them in advance. Perhaps a massage or taking a warm shower will help you, and you can ask your partner to help you with this.
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Childbirth without pregnancy or why psychotherapy cannot be quick
Quite often, people are sincerely surprised that it takes time to solve their problems. It seems to them that they can use some magical techniques to convince someone else, or change something in a relationship, or somehow remove something that is unpleasant to see. Especially if it concerns bodily symptoms - that you can take some pills, perform a series of magical rituals and suddenly get better. And the therapist is perceived as a kind of guru who can lead you out of addiction or depression to a bright and happy life. There is one wonderful analogy in this regard that can show the fallacy of such thinking - “childbirth without pregnancy.” Sounds absurd? Yes. But this is exactly what clients ask for when they want to be “healed quickly.”
You may ask, “Well, what about all the possible personal growth trainings, consultations, etc.?” I answer: it’s the same as buying a beautiful doll in a store and playing with it as if it were your child. Other people's ideas are other people's ideas. In order for them to be processed and become part of the personality (and not a dead weight in the head), some time must also pass. Most likely, by this point there is little left of the original idea. She becomes her own - lived and suffered.
Psychotherapy is the restoration of a person’s ability to independently solve their problems and find a way out of difficult situations. In essence, this is the birth of a new “me”, with a new vision of oneself, new skills and a sense of life. And like any birth, it cannot occur without “conception”, “intrauterine development” and “birth”.
The first few meetings with a therapist will definitely be aimed at getting to know each other, getting used to each other, and finding the best ways to interact. How long this stage will last largely depends on the client’s past experiences in significant relationships. For some it may take a month, for others a year.
Only after close and trusting working relationships have been formed is it possible to move to the next stage - “conception” - when work begins on real, deep-seated problems. It is at this time that a new entity begins to form, having new qualities. And this happens from within, from what the client himself begins to discover and experience in himself.
As the client progresses in therapy, he learns more and more about himself. He learns to react in a new way to the situations around him, builds his new boundaries, begins to feel his body and be aware of his reactions. He “develops in utero” - in a safe therapeutic environment - and develops new communication skills and behavior with the therapist.
And then comes the moment of “confrontations” - when the client has to choose whether to remain within the old boundaries and relationships or try to change something in his environment. “Attempts” begin—a difficult period of new, risky attempts to do things differently, to find one’s own path and solution. And finally - “new birth” - freeing oneself, making important life decisions and, in some way, a new life.
After this, of course, there are many more different stages of “growth and development”, which, in general, can take place without the participation of a therapist or with his periodic involvement in difficult moments.
As with bearing a child, consistency and stability of meetings and a leisurely, natural course of “pregnancy” are important in therapy. In addition, it is important to immediately decide on a “doctor” and contact only those people who already have experience in this (who have themselves undergone personal therapy and who have the necessary education for this). Then the result will be real and alive, for the rest of your life.
Second stage of labor
Stage II is the actual birth of the child. This stage occurs after the cervix is fully dilated. The intervals between contractions will become a little longer, and the contractions themselves may become a little easier, giving you the opportunity to rest a little. At this time, the child is most likely already with his head in the lower part of the pelvis, and an instinctive desire to push appears, similar to pushing during defecation. During pushing, the uterus puts strong pressure on the baby and it moves along the birth canal. With each push, he moves according to the “two steps forward, one step back” pattern, which, during the normal course of labor, allows the birth canal to expand normally.
When the baby's scalp becomes visible, the urge to push becomes strongest, but the doctor may ask you to wait a little to give the perineum time to stretch and the baby to emerge without tearing. When the head appears completely, the doctor feels the neck for the presence of the umbilical cord and turns the baby to the side so that the shoulders can pass through more easily. There are literally a couple of minutes left until your baby's full appearance.
When it fully appears, doctors check its nose and neck for mucus, wipe it and place it on your stomach, covering it with a towel. The midwife will clamp the umbilical cord in two places and cut it, or have your partner do it. The average duration of this period is 45-60 minutes for primiparous women and 15-30 minutes for multiparous women. According to WHO recommendations, stimulation should be resorted to if this period lasts up to 2 hours in primiparous women or up to 1 hour in multiparous women.
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The first signs or how to recognize the onset of labor
For all first-time mothers, determining the onset of labor is a huge challenge. Many people go around with contractions for days on end, thinking that they have blown their back. Others, on the contrary, go to the maternity hospital as soon as they feel the slightest discomfort in the abdominal area, which is also not always pleasant. Therefore, everyone should know how to understand that labor has begun.
Doctors identify the following significant signs of the beginning of this process:
- Removal of the plug. This term refers to a dense clot of mucus that clogs the cervix. Its purpose is to prevent the penetration of microorganisms and bacteria from the vagina into the pregnant uterus. If your plug comes out, when will labor begin? The question is already rhetorical. Usually this is 1 - 3 days from now. However, do not forget that sometimes the plug comes off due to premature dilatation of the cervix in the early stages (up to 37 - 40 weeks). This requires an urgent visit to the hospital to stitch up the lumen and preserve the pregnancy.
Lower back pain. This is how contractions begin. This start of labor is especially often observed in primiparas, whose body goes through all this for the first time. The pain is nagging, then subsides, then starts again. At first, they do not have a clearly defined periodicity, so few people focus on them. But over time, the pain becomes noticeable. Please note that if there are clear intervals between contractions and relief (especially at 37–40 weeks), while periods without pain become shorter and contractions become longer, you should urgently go to the maternity hospital.- Mood swings. Many pregnant women do not control their emotions before the onset of labor: they laugh loudly, cry with or without reason. Yes, this behavior is often observed from 1 to 40 weeks of pregnancy, but during childbirth everything worsens and gets worse. Therefore, if your wife is about to give birth and suddenly bursts into tears on the street, it is worth checking to see if her back is aching.
Now you know exactly how labor begins. However, we should not forget that this process can be rapid. Therefore, many people immediately experience strong contractions. This means that you can’t hesitate (especially if it’s not your first birth, but your second or third) and you need to urgently go to the maternity hospital. After all, many have heard about how long rapid labor lasts; it is quite possible that in just an hour you will have a baby in your hands.
Third stage of labor
Stage III – birth of the placenta. As a rule, this is a process that takes several minutes, and mothers practically do not notice it, because... at this time they are already holding a small warm lump in their arms - their born baby. But let’s still study what happens at this stage. A few minutes after your baby is born, the uterus will begin to contract again, helping the placenta to separate from its walls. The obstetrician may ask you to push several times to force the placenta to come out.
These are completely painless and easy attempts. OK it's all over Now! You already, and maybe again, mom! To summarize our article, we can note that how long childbirth lasts depends on many factors, such as whether it is the first birth or a repeat one, heredity, the presence or absence of pathologies and many other factors.
But to a greater extent, their successful outcome depends on the positive attitude of the expectant mother herself, her ability to relax in a timely manner, listen carefully to the advice of her doctor and to her body. In any case, if labor has begun, then in no more than a day your baby will be born.
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Why is hidden pregnancy dangerous?
The problem is not only that the woman does not notice her situation, but that without knowing about it, she can seriously harm the unborn baby. After all, unsuspecting mothers continue to lead a normal lifestyle with physical activity and stress, bad habits, or take medications contraindicated for pregnant women.
Another difficulty is the impact that unexpected news of pregnancy has on a woman’s emotional state. 28-year-old American Coakley Beckner, who found out about her pregnancy in the 7th month (while using an intrauterine device and the absence of menstruation), says that she had severe postpartum depression. She and her husband worked a lot, lived in a one-room apartment and did not plan to have children. “I had absolutely no maternal instincts,” Coakley says. Fortunately, he gradually appeared, and now she dotes on her first-born. After 3.5 years, she became a mother for the second time, now consciously, and it was a completely different pregnancy: the woman was preparing for her new state, enjoying it and joyfully welcoming her second birth.
The birth of a child is a huge change in a woman’s life, and it can have both positive and negative, stressful consequences.
It is no coincidence that nature gives the expectant mother 9 months to understand and accept her new position. If this time does not exist, and the woman is not psychologically ready to become a mother, it is really difficult to avoid problems. Source: deti.mail.ru
Blessing for Childbirth
Mother of two boys born Lotus and tenderly, I often think what would I write to my future daughter-in-law in a letter, if I imagine such a maternal Blessing for Childbirth? Yes, perhaps the same as to a sister, a beloved friend, a pregnant acquaintance...
“Dear daughter/daughter-in-law/sister/beloved friend... Let me give you this letter, my Blessing for Childbirth. Tomorrow (or tonight!), in five or ten days, you will become a Mother, you will be able to hug your baby or toddler, put him to your chest, bury your nose in his fragrant, sweet and so dear crown... Miracle, the Childbirth holiday is ahead - it’s scary its inevitability and beckons to rebirth. You are more vulnerable and open than ever, you want support and warm words! Therefore, I give you these lines of support and blessings on your Path to Motherhood.
If you're scared, that's good. It would be strange not to be afraid of something new and unfamiliar that will soon happen to you. I will not advise you to “relax”, “breathe” and throw this fear out of your head. He is absolutely normal and beautiful - he is instinctive, he is the whole essence of your future motherhood, century after century, future mothers, thanks to fear and concern for their offspring, have found the best place to give birth to a child, the best people to help and support! Don't fight your fear. Love him and let him help you find the most beautiful Ancestral Space!
If you feel lonely and feel like no one understands you, that's normal! Nobody really understands you! Neither husband, nor mother, nor childless (or many children) friends! Because your state at the moment is a hormonal storm, a mix of tears, grief, anticipation, anxiety, delight, love and happiness! Is your husband capable of experiencing a similar range of feelings at once? And understand you in this state? After all, for him you remain the same beloved wife, only with a belly and some new oddities (which he had not noticed about you before!). Perhaps he may even be offended by your behavior and “self-absorbed” state! Forgive him and try to explain that it’s difficult for you and you need signs of attention and love!
What about mom? Mothers are often so worried about their pregnant daughters (plus the experience of their own childbirth) that they overstep the bounds of reason in their care and guardianship! For the most part, of course, they are preoccupied with themselves and their emotions. And the hormonal cocktail seething inside you only worsens your mutual understanding...
(Although, I don’t argue, there are exception mothers who gently and tenderly ease the difficulties of their pregnant daughter’s experiences!)
If it seems to you that not everything is ready for Childbirth and you, with your belly at the ready, rush around the shops in search of “just such diapers”, a large orange saucepan, a crib with a blue (pink) canopy; you start making repairs, gluing new wallpaper in the middle of the night... Continue, this state is fabulously beautiful! Absolutely all pregnant women experience it, starting a month or two before giving birth! That is why in construction stores there are so many pregnant women with huge bellies and exhausted husbands under their arms. Especially popular are IKEA, Leroi Merlin... Or have you not been there yet?
