Why do 63% of men disappear after the first date, and how to avoid it?
Where do men go after the first date?
Have you ever been in a situation where your first date also turned out to be your last? Has it ever happened that already during the meeting you had the feeling that this was probably not really for me? Or did it happen that initially everything seemed to be going well, but then for some reason it went wrong and didn’t work out? What was wrong and prompted the man to run away?
You won't be recognized...
Girls often post fake or photoshopped photos on their social media profiles. Having met a man on the Internet (I already wrote about this option in the Dating section), they agree on a real meeting. And here a discrepancy immediately appears. Your joke with an enhanced photo in the eyes of a man looks like a desire to deceive him and can greatly disappoint him.
Sometimes images of stars are posted online as they really look in real life. And often these pictures only vaguely resemble the corresponding glossy photos. Therefore, if you meet a man on the Internet and are planning meetings in the future, it is better to show him the real you. The same applies to fictional life. Some girls online create some kind of fictional life for themselves that they don’t really live. They talk about some overseas travel on wonderful yachts or about meeting famous personalities. And when, upon meeting, it becomes clear that these are all just her fantasies, the date can continue only if the man is just as much of a dreamer. A normal man does not want to be deceived and simply leaves.
And give me a star...
You met a man for the first time. And wanting to improve your status, you began to admiringly tell you what gifts other men gave you and what trips they took you on. Of course, we all care about the financial situation of the future chosen one. But if already at the first meeting a woman’s conversations revolve mainly around material things, the man will feel like a wallet and this is unlikely to inspire him to new meetings. Because no one wants to just be blatantly used. On the first date, it is better not to voice your material demands and claims. So that the second date does take place.
“I can’t bear to get married...”
There are women who are simply fixated on marriage. On the first date, they tell you that they are only in the mood for a serious relationship. And that it is better to plan the wedding no earlier than in two months. Although the relatives have already prepared the dowry and only the groom is missing...
In principle, at the first meeting it is possible and worthwhile to indicate some of your intentions in order to avoid surprises in the future. But the concept of “clarifying your position” does not mean that you can use a person as a means to make your dreams come true. A man does not want to be a means of making someone's dreams come true. He has his own. In addition, the instinct to preserve one’s masculine independence may also come into play, and this may frighten the man. Therefore, it is better to keep your desire to get married urgently to yourself for now.
Remember all…
Imagine that there are nuances that did not attract your attention at all, but could change the course of your meeting. Take a pen and a piece of paper. Tune in your thoughts to your meeting, at the end of which the guy “disappeared.” You can also consider similar circumstances that have happened to you more than once before. Replay in your mind and answer on paper some questions about how your meetings went.
How did it all happen, what did they talk about? Did communicating with you arouse his interest and affection? How were you dressed? Think about what can attract a man in a woman. Did your look match your meeting location? Were you able to highlight your strengths? What mood were you in on your first date? Have you been a friendly person with whom you want to talk? How often have you shown negativity in your conversation and mood?
What can you say about the man? Did he remain friendly and sociable throughout the meeting? Don't try to make it better than it is. And don’t defend him that you provoked him, so that his hand, as if by itself, began to settle on your knee.
How did your meeting end? Have you managed to come to the “golden mean” between indifference and delight? Did your meeting end with a feeling of celebration? Analyze your date, note what mistakes you made. Could a man feel a threat to his freedom? In this situation, the man always tries to run away to hell... If you did, try to never do them in the future! In this case, successful dates and a wonderful relationship with your chosen one await you!
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Three MZKT workers were detained in Belarus after a meeting with Lukashenko
Photo from the website of the President of the Republic of Belarus
Alexander Lukashenko visited the Minsk Wheel Tractor Plant Photo from the website of the President of the Republic of Belarus
The state television channel STV reported the detention of three employees of the Minsk Wheel Tractor Plant (MZKT), who allegedly coordinated the actions of factory workers at a meeting with President Alexander Lukashenko.
“The coordinators taught the factory workers how to behave and what to shout. Three of them were detained. The president knew about the upcoming provocations at the MZKT, but decided to go. Several people shouted “Go away.” The president responded,” says the channel’s news report, as quoted by Interfax.
As confirmation of the “evil intent” of the detainees, a recording of a telephone conversation was voiced in the story. “There, at MTZ, MZKT, we’ll see what happens tomorrow. You need to water it right away, charge it “get out” and that’s it. The main thing is that the people support. I didn’t freeze, I wasn’t afraid. “They won’t fire everyone,” says a male voice. At Lukashenko’s request, the same recording was given to listen to those gathered at the meeting of the plant workers with him. However, it only caused indignation among those gathered.
The press service of the main department of internal affairs of the Minsk City Executive Committee explained to TASS that the detained workers were released after a preventive conversation.
During the meeting with Lukashenko, MZKT workers chanted “Go away!” The story shows a fragment of the president's reaction. “Well, thank you, thank you. I see a group here, this is the left one, a little... I see you, don’t worry. I heard, I heard it all and answered this question. Why are you raising it again if you are workers? Well, don’t tarnish the honor of a working man. I heard you and answered it. If you want me to answer again and for you to shout, I can do that. Therefore, calm down,” Lukashenko said.
Also, workers who disagreed with the election results demanded new presidential elections. “You talk about unfair elections and want to hold fair ones. I will answer this question for you. We held elections. Until you kill me, there will be no other elections,” Lukashenko commented.
Another video recording characterizing the atmosphere at the meeting of workers with the president was published by Tut.by. In it, one of those gathered shouted towards Lukashenko and a group of his bodyguards: “Shoot yourself, officer!” The president came close to the workers and, surrounded by guards, said: “Don’t worry, I won’t beat you. If even one provokes something here, we will deal with it brutally. So be a man! There’s a crowd of you, and I’m alone.”
After this, the head of state demanded that filming be stopped. “Put the phone down,” he told the worker.
During a visit to the Minsk Wheel Tractor Plant, Lukashenko said that the elections in the republic were held “in a civil manner”, and 80% of the votes that he received according to official data from the Central Election Commission were not falsified. Lukashenko’s entire speech was accompanied by a dissatisfied roar and shouts of “Go away” and “Shame.”
Meanwhile, the wave of protests continues unabated. On Monday evening, his supporters gathered outside the pre-trial detention center No. 1 on Volodarsky Street in the center of Minsk, where opposition representatives believe blogger Sergei Tikhanovsky, who was denied registration for the presidential election and was replaced by his wife Svetlana, was being held as a candidate. The crowd chanted: “Let me out.”
A large column of demonstrators from Independence Square also approached there. People filled the entire roadway.
The director of the Kupala Theater who supported the protesters was fired
In response to disloyalty, officials exert pressure not only on workers, but also on representatives of creative professions. On Monday it became known that Pavel Latushko had left the post of general director of the Yanka Kupala National Academic Theatre. He was fired by decision of the Prime Minister and the Ministry of Culture of Belarus.
“We confirm this information. Latushko was dismissed under Article 259 of the Labor Code of the Republic of Belarus by decision of the Prime Minister,” the theater said.
On the evening of August 17, Latushko told reporters: “I am sure that I did not violate the law, but expressed my civic position.” He noted that the employer, the Ministry of Culture of Belarus, has the right to make a decision on the dismissal of theater managers.
“There are moments in life when you need to make a decision. And I was not ready to cross the moral line. I cannot agree that in the 21st century a person can be beaten just for expressing his opinion,” Latushko said.
In response to possible accusations that he expressed his position late, Fr. Latushko.
Earlier, the theater staff sharply criticized the government's decision and prepared to defend its general director. However, on the evening of August 17, the decision to dismiss Latushko was officially announced. The Kupala Theater troupe expressed its readiness to resign along with its general director.
As soon as information about Latushko’s dismissal appeared in the media, participants in protests on the streets of Minsk headed towards the Kupala Theater to support the artists and their leader.
Latushko became one of the first leaders to openly speak out against violence during protests in Minsk and against detained citizens who did not agree with the election results. Previously, Latushko worked as the Minister of Culture of Belarus and was the ambassador of this country to France.
Presidential elections were held in Belarus on August 9. According to a statement by the Central Election Commission, current President Alexander Lukashenko, who has been in power for 26 years, won the election by a large margin over other candidates, receiving more than 80% of the vote. The opposition accused officials of falsifying the voting results. As a result, mass protests began in the country.
Special forces and internal troops units were used to suppress street protests. Security forces used water cannons, stun grenades, and rubber bullets. Several hundred people were injured and were hospitalized. One person died during the protests (presumably he was shot by security forces), another died after being detained. About seven thousand people, including bystanders, were seized by law enforcement officers and thrown into detention centers. On the way to the place of detention, as well as in the detention centers themselves, many civilians were subjected to torture.
According to media reports, about 80 people detained at the protests have gone missing and nothing is known about them. Peaceful protests began at Belarusian industrial enterprises on August 13, and strikes began on August 17. In addition, throughout Belarus, people began to form chains of solidarity and hold rallies against violence and for holding new elections.
She loves to control!
Such a woman tells a man what to wear, what to do and what friends to make. If a man tries to defend his opinion and do what he wants, she cries and uses manipulative tactics to force him to do it his way.
It happens that some women show their affection for a man by giving advice. I once became an involuntary witness of a girl giving a young man a bunch of advice on what color shirt would suit him best, how to prevent lint from sticking to his jacket, what kind of haircut he should get. To this he replied that he himself knew everything and “he is already quite old and independent.”
Unfortunately, practice has shown that men in most cases see behind such behavior only a desire to control them, and do not realize that on the part of a woman this is a manifestation of sympathy.
Men “scan” a woman’s behavior for what they don’t want in a relationship. A man may like you and have a good time with him on the first date, but if he has seen his red flags, then in most cases, he will not bother to get to know you better before jumping to conclusions. We often do not see ourselves from the outside, and we can, even without “bad” intentions, give a false impression.
Every life situation is unique, and the reasons why men disappear after the first date are not limited to the examples given in this article. But if gentlemen disappear too often in your life, and you cannot find an explanation for this, then you should pay attention to how you behave at the first meeting.
What to do if a man suddenly disappears?
Or rather, what not to do! What you should never do!
- No need to sort things out! Dot the i's, run after the man and ask him to tell him what was wrong. No clarification, accept it as a fact. The person does not want to communicate, give him time to think, to be alone with himself. Clarifying the relationship will only aggravate the situation and cause unnecessary irritation.
- There is no need to think that there is something wrong with you. Everything is fine, everything is fine. And there will definitely be a person who will appreciate all the features and will not see a single (invented by you) shortcoming, and perhaps this person is just your silent one - he just needs time.
Now what to do when a man has distanced himself?
- Take care of yourself and your development. Do something for yourself, to develop your femininity: pay attention to your appearance, buy a new dress, go to yoga, take up dancing. Lead an active life full of self-love.
- Go on dates, meet friends. There is no need to get hung up on one man. A couple of dates are not even a relationship, you were just looking at each other and don’t owe each other anything. There is no need to become attached to a person ahead of time.
- Give yourself time to rest and think, let the emotions subside.
- After enough time has passed, if you still want to be close to this man, try to unobtrusively be in his life. Write on social media network or arrange a casual meeting, the main thing is that it is on a friendly wave, easy and calm. And it is quite possible that in this way you will be able to start the relationship from scratch.
- The main thing is to remember. No clarification from the series: “what was it then”, ease and once again ease! You don’t limit a person, you feel good together, you feel good alone, it’s just good with you.
GuruTest
Use ten tips on how to become unforgettable for a man after the first date. There are many aspects that you may simply not think about when you should. If you do not make the mistakes that will be discussed below, you will be able to keep any man next to you.
You didn't listen to him
You talked a lot about yourself, about your problems, but did not listen to the man. Many people of both sexes understand at the very first meeting whether they should continue communication or not, relying on the interlocutor’s ability to listen.
Perhaps you were talking about yourself, but as soon as the man began to answer something, you did not focus on the details, did not ask counter questions, which showed a lack of any interest. Self-obsession in conversation is one of the main deterrents on a first date.
You were getting ahead of yourself
If on your first date you started talking about marriage, that you want a family and children, then don’t be surprised that the man didn’t want to continue communication: he was afraid that he would have to immediately walk down the aisle with you and plan a future together.
By getting ahead of yourself, you will scare away almost everyone who agrees to go on a date with you. This will also apply to those men who are looking for a wife and mother of their children. Excessive assertiveness scares them away.
You argued with him
A normal conversation between two people goes like this: one expresses his opinion, the second says what he agrees with and what he disagrees with, and then sets out his view of the problem. If, instead, to any words a man says, you give out your opinion, which you present as unconditional and the only correct one, then do not be surprised that they ran away from you.
If two people don't have the same views, there's nothing wrong with that. The main thing is that you know how to accept a man’s opinion and not challenge him without purpose, especially in small things and trifles.
You spoke unflatteringly about your ex
On the first date, you declare that all your exes are losers, empty talkers, and so on. A man understands that you will start saying the same things about him if your paths diverge, and he has no desire to continue the relationship.
In any case, a man may not approve of you speaking negatively about people with whom you have communicated or even communicate now. It's better to just not talk about people who have offended you or annoyed you in some way on the first date.
You were on your phone all the time
The man is trying to carry on a dialogue, and you are constantly picking up the phone - either to like it or scroll through the news feed. Even if you are truly a multitasker and can do several things at the same time, this is very unpleasant for anyone you are talking to.
This shows that you are not one hundred percent involved in the communication process. Even if you are really interested and good, this does not mean that a man will see it. The same goes for the endless “Sorry, I need to answer the phone.”
You behaved inappropriately
You were rude to the people around you or simply came in a bad mood, which could make a man think that you are a toxic or ill-mannered person.
Try to go on a date in a good mood, because a lot will depend on this. If this does not depend on you, you can warn the man: for example, immediately tell him that you were angry at work. In this case, he can try to understand you.
You devalued his achievements, ridiculed him
Even one episode is enough for a man to be offended and never call you again. The important thing to remember is that everything he tells you can be taken as a summary. In other words, he is trying to show his best side.
If, for example, he says that six months ago he participated in a three-hundred-kilometer bicycle race, you should not ridicule him by saying: “It’s stupid to pedal all day.” Instead, try asking him how hard it was for him to do it. Pretend you're interested even if you're not, and you won't miss the opportunity to make him like you even more.
Men may also not behave in the best way on the first meeting, so be attentive to the behavior of your companion. Psychologists and relationship experts advise paying attention to four types of men that you should run away from on the first date.
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16 May 01:32
