Do we need a break from each other?
The idea of taking a break from work is familiar to all of us. Go on vacation, reboot with a glass of the drink “Favorite. Multifruit" in hand, learn something interesting and return back full of strength - a completely understandable idea. But what is a “vacation” for in a relationship? Why is it important to take a break from each other, and how to do it correctly?
What does it mean to “take a break from each other ”?
Taking a break from a relationship doesn’t mean it’s time for someone to pack their bags. Taking a break from each other means giving each other space for your individual fantasies and plans. For some this is time alone, for others it is time for hobbies or meeting with friends.
For whom is this relevant?
Absolutely for all couples. During the candy-bouquet period, lovers do not want to separate even for a moment. In a mature relationship, the need to realize yourself and your desires increases. This does not mean that partners are no longer interested in each other. Time puts everything in its place: even the happiest relationships involve two individuals.
Why is it important to take a break from each other?
There are several reasons.
Firstly, time alone with yourself and your thoughts helps to “reset” the relationship: when you return, you look at each other with fresh eyes. Everyday problems and disagreements fade into the background, allowing you to focus on your favorite qualities in your partner.
Secondly, time apart allows everyone to feel their own personal space. It is not so easy to maintain it in a relationship in which lovers do everything together and constantly live in the same territory.
Thirdly, agreeing to give each other personal time speaks of deep trust in the partner. This means that you are confident in yourself and in your partner, and that your time apart will be spent usefully. Trust strengthens relationships.
And, finally, personal time is simply necessary to remain interesting to each other. Each meeting after is a lot of new topics for conversation. What did you see, who did you meet, what did you learn, what did you smile at?
How to take a break from each other without damaging the relationship?
Taking a break from each other can be different. For some, a couple of hours at a language course is enough, for others, it is necessary to hide in the wilderness for the whole weekend. Some people prefer time alone with themselves and their thoughts, others prefer adventures in a fun company. You know your loved one better than anyone else. Discuss with each other your need for personal space. Share ideas about what's important to you in your personal time to avoid surprises. When parting for a while, trust each other completely and do not try to control the process remotely. And finally, spend this time in a way that looks forward to meeting you again. Such a positive experience will benefit both you and your relationship!
What does it mean if a man suggests taking a break from each other?
Things don't always go smoothly in love relationships.
Sooner or later you have to face difficulties. Try to solve all problems together, without taking a break from each other. If a man suggests taking a break, this could be a wake-up call for you and your love. Of course, you need to dig as deep as possible to get to the root of the problem, and not draw any conclusions based on mediocre observations. It might not be as bad as you might think. Do not rush to tell a man that he is wrong - analyze your behavior before judging others.
What is good about rest and what should it be like?
Many people think that taking time off in a relationship is bad. The opposite opinion also occurs. It depends on what the situation is in the relationship as a whole, what the character of your man is. Rest must be forced, urgent. If you want both of you to always be interested in each other, spend more time working. Enough different schedules. He can work on a 2/2 schedule, and you on a five-day standard work week. You will constantly look for opportunities to see each other, you will miss each other more. This is good, but not for everyone. Even the same schedule will bring you a lot of happiness, because a person must be busy with something. Almost all women have been in a position where a man works and they don’t. From idleness, a person begins to invent problems for himself - this is no secret to anyone. Look for steady employment, even if your husband is a billionaire. It is very important that you have something to tell him at the end of the day.
A good vacation is when he goes to the country for the weekend to help his parents with their garden beds. If your man has some pressing business or some compelling reason to go away for a couple of days, it always works to the benefit of couples. Take the opportunity to go on a business trip. Don’t leave on purpose—leave with pleasure when it’s necessary for some reason.
A bad vacation is when he suggests moving away or stopping seeing each other for a while. Even if you came to this decision together, it could be the beginning of the end. If this happens for no reason or the reasons are vague, then you should be wary and understand what you both did wrong.
What does his offer to “rest” mean?
If a man wants to take a break from you, it means that he is tired of you, but you shouldn’t always try to put an end to the relationship right away. Men who cannot say “I don’t love you” or “I don’t want to see you” take a break from relationships. This is not respect, not pity. This is pure cowardice. Unfortunately, in most cases, what a man wants is separation. Perhaps he is attached to you, but he doesn’t mind finding another woman because you don’t suit him in some way.
Analyze what preceded his proposal for a time out. It could be anything. Perhaps everything was fine . This means that a man may have another lady. You can be his “lover”, his second girlfriend, if relaxation is offered in the initial stages of the relationship. If a man does not immediately offer to rest, then he could have an affair. You need to closely monitor a man in order to understand that he is cheating on you or cheating on someone with you. If he leaves for another city, there is a high probability that he is a two-faced lover. If everything is fine, but the man demands a time out, you are not alone with him.
If you have offended him in some way , then he really just wants to relax. This happens after a fairly long period of living together. Perhaps it's you. Be as objective as possible - maybe you are tormenting him with something. Maybe you like to throw tantrums, you are always in a bad mood, you are jealous. Jealousy is a very powerful motivator to run away from you and relax, live in peace, and without cheating on you. Be sure to try to think about this option. You can try to talk to a man after first agreeing to his terms.
If everything is bad for you, then a man’s offer to rest may mean his desire to find another. Sometimes men really want to test their feelings with rest, but this is not the best option either. It is necessary to convey to your loved one the fact that if he wants to live without you, such a vacation should not last more than a day. All couples in love who have encountered such situations note that such thoughts disappear almost immediately. If you happily parted ways, then there is no point in moving in together again - remember this.
Men are much more likely to propose separation because their essence is that they do not want to solve the problem. They prefer to hide it and avoid meeting it. That is why, if a man suggested breaking up for a while, then:
- do not panic. It’s better to take care of your nerves, because there is a chance that the relationship will end;
- Don't ask unnecessary questions. Men don't want to explain anything in such situations. You will only complicate things.
When can taking a break from a relationship only do harm?
And when can breaking up for a while cause harm? Definitely - if the thought of breaking up for good already appears in your partner, and you would absolutely not want this. Let him go for a while, and the man will think that you also want freedom, and then a breakup is not far off...
To the question of whether it is necessary to take a break from each other in a good, healthy relationship, you can answer “yes” - since the higher the trust and love for each other, the more guarantees that the separation will end in a joyful meeting, and during the time spent apart, both partners will receive some kind of individual experience. And if both (or one of them) are introverts, then for such people time alone with themselves is the most useful “recharge”.
My girlfriend suggests taking a break from each other. What to do?
It often happens that after a colossal number of scandals between a guy and a girl, a moment comes when one of the couple suggests taking a break from each other for a while in order to calm down, understand some points, etc.
Yes, most often it is girls who offer this, so I write about them first.
What does a girl assume when she suggests a break in the relationship? What could be the consequences? What to do if a girl insists on a vacation between you?
These are the questions that arise in the minds of many guys, and they have no idea what to do, how to correct the situation and what can happen after a break in the relationship.
TOP best advice from psychologists
Received 2 pieces of advice - consultations from psychologists, to the question: The guy said he wanted to relax
Your constant tantrums may indicate unmet needs. “I can’t help but demand attention to myself, I’m constantly offended. "
Your martyr is cold and keeps everything to himself and is unlikely to change. When a person is loved, they accept him as he is. Think about it.
Smirnova Alexandra Vladimirovna, psychologist/psychotherapist in Moscow
Good answer 3 Bad answer 1
Hello, Katya! It is important for you to draw conclusions from the situation that has happened - you demand from your young man the manifestation of THAT love that YOU are waiting for and are absolutely NOT ready to accept THAT love that HE is ready to GIVE YOU. With your mistrust, demands and accusations, you devalue his feelings. Put him in a situation where he feels a sense of helplessness, since he cannot prove ANYTHING to you - after all, YOU are the one who comes up with the idea that you lack attention, that you do not believe his words and feelings. You DO NOT accept him or his feelings. Reactions on your part are the behavior of a child who is offended when something is not the way he WANTS it. Your partner expects more mature behavior from you; in pursuit of everything that YOU SEEM to be, you yourself begin to destroy the relationship - you do not learn to accept either your young man or his feelings. Just telling him and asking him to come back is useless - what next? How will the relationship be? Should he again wait for more accusations and insults from you? Therefore, you must make an experience for yourself - what on your part DESTROYS the relationship? Why is partner blaming so developed? resentment towards him? Does all this help you build relationships or, on the contrary, rather destroys the relationship? and what will you come to if you don’t change anything about yourself? This behavior indicates that it is difficult for you to trust, it is difficult for you to accept the feelings of another person, exactly HOW HE CAN give them, you have your own idea of HOW feelings SHOULD be expressed, but your partner is DIFFERENT, he expresses them THIS way, HOW CAN HE. This is where such a contradiction arises - between YOUR expectations and what you get. It's up to you to decide - cling to your expectations and look for someone who will live up to (and this is ONLY a fictional character), or learn to accept reality and start working on your boundaries, learn to see your partner as he is, accept your feelings, him, work on yours positions, learning to be in an adult position in a relationship, and not be offended like a child.
Katya, if you decide to work, feel free to contact me - call me - I will be glad to help you!
Let's figure it out
Honestly, this situation happens in all couples, so if this happened to you for the first time and you saw emptiness (lost fire) in your girlfriend’s eyes, it’s worth thinking about.
You yourself now know the reason, since you probably had a fight a few moments before your girlfriend suggested you take a break from each other. The first question will be - what does a girl mean when she offers to take a break from each other?
I answer. Now your girlfriend is in such a tense emotional state that she is not entirely clear whether she loves you or not. She may know exactly what she likes, but she wants to check some factors.
With the help of a break in your relationship, she still wants to put periods and commas everywhere so that your quarrel does not repeat, well, and it’s trivial to check her and your feelings, because if you have a too serious conversation, then you can only wait.
By the phrase “Break in a relationship,” a girl does not always mean separation, although you, with your behavior, after her offer to take a break from each other, if you do not listen to her wishes, can aggravate everything and ultimately break up.
In what cases should you offer to take a break from each other?
Of course, it is impossible to describe all specific cases when it is worth separating for a while - after all, all couples and relationship stories are unique.
But “Beautiful and Successful” will tell you what “alarm bells” may indicate that there is a problem. And then parting for a while will either help to cope with this problem, or to clearly understand what exactly it is and what to work on after renewing the relationship, or, as a result of the temporary separation, a decision will be made to separate altogether.
You feel like your relationship is holding you back
You remember your life before this relationship, and it seems more eventful and active to you. You see that you are missing out on many truly interesting opportunities because the relationship forces you to have other priorities.
