Relationships with a divorced man: pros and cons. Is it worth dating divorced men?

Pros and cons of a divorced man in a relationship.

It’s a rare woman who will say that divorce in her man’s biography is nothing. At a minimum, the unsuccessful experience of his family life is perceived with alarm.

After all, a divorced man means, on the one hand, a lot of positive aspects, and on the other hand, a lot of difficulties for the woman who is going to become his new other half...

Disadvantages of a relationship with a divorced man:

A divorced man’s life baggage includes the entire set of impressions from life with a woman. And what is most often remembered (by tradition) is the bad. That is, hysterics, whims, mismatch of characters, “where is the money, Van?”, “I want a new fur coat,” etc. And parallels between a past life and the present are instantly drawn by a divorced man. In order not to suddenly hear “all of you women ...” and not become another “ex”, you have to carefully choose your words and be careful in your actions.
A man who has been burned once is reluctant to enter into a new relationship. And if he joined, there will be no rush to propose marriage. Relationships can last for quite a long time at the sluggish stage of “let me come to you today.”
If he was the initiator of the divorce, then the thought will haunt you for a long time - “what if he does the same to me.”
If the initiator of the divorce was his wife , then this “sore callus” will take a long time to heal, and your task is to heal it so that there are no scars left. Unfortunately, it is a common situation when new “love” is just a means to forget the old one. Such relationships can lead nowhere except to a dead end.
If there are children in the marriage, you will have to come to terms with his frequent visits to his ex-wife, as well as the fact that the children will occupy a fairly large part of his life - always.
A divorced man is accustomed to a certain way of life and the role of a woman in it. If your ex-wife washed his socks by holding them together with a pin, and you just throw them into the washing machine, he will involuntarily compare you. And not always in your favor.
If he regularly complains to you about his ex and seeks sympathy, and you indulge him and generously sprinkle this very sympathy with a spoonful, then sooner or later he will begin to look for a woman who will see in him not a wimp with an infectious ex-wife, but a real macho.

Benefits of dating a divorced man:

He knows the value of a serious relationship. He will not rush, but if the relationship begins, the knot will be strong.
He knows what a woman wants, how to calm her down, what pitfalls to avoid, where to put removed socks and remove the toothpaste cap.
He has serious sexual experience. According to statistics, a divorced man is more liberated and “talented” in sex than a man who is married for the first time.
He drew conclusions from his first family experience. It’s a rare case that a man will step on the same rake again. Therefore, he himself will make mistakes extremely rarely, and he won’t let you either - he already knows how to “predict” the weather in the house, tame his personal “dragon” in a skirt and cure a woman’s anger with kisses.

Psychology of relationships between men and women

Modern life, unfortunately, is such that almost every third marriage ends in divorce. This, of course, is a very sad statistic, but for some women this also has its advantages: after all, a divorced man returns to the ranks of bachelors and again becomes a potential groom. However, not every woman knows how to win over a divorced man

Psychology of the divorced

Many people mistakenly believe that a divorced man, freed from the bonds of marriage, should rush headlong into search of erotic adventures. However, this is not always the case. Firstly, because when a man gets married, he loses his old girlfriends, but there are no new ones yet. And secondly, he is unlikely to want to make new acquaintances, because first he needs courtship and other curtsies, which in no way fits into the post-divorce spiritual emptiness.

Reconnaissance in force

In order to behave correctly with a divorced person, in order to please a man not only externally, but also with his correct behavior, you first need to find out the reasons for his divorce.

Families do not always break up because the man is “wrong.” Today there are quite a lot of self-sufficient wives who, at some stage in their family life, understand that they no longer need a husband at all, neither good nor bad. In addition, psychologists today note a low level of female adaptability to a partner, misunderstanding and unwillingness to withstand the difficulties of family life. There is another problem: sexual incompatibility in marriage.

Therefore, if a woman belongs to the “breed” of other women and knows how to control a man, she can safely start a relationship with a divorced man without being afraid of his shortcomings. It is quite possible that the woman will find his merits remarkable and she will be able to create the kind of marriage that he did not succeed with another.

Without a drop of pity

Many people know firsthand that divorce is a big shock that does not go away without a trace. And often a man endures it more painfully, wanting someone to comfort him and take pity on him. Maybe he should be pitied, but not for the woman who has her own plans for him. Sympathy alone will not be enough for him, and he will soon begin to look for other acquaintances in order to cry once again and talk about his ex. In addition, under no circumstances should you support negative conversations about how bad his first wife was. Such revelations one day can destroy the relationship that is being established with him, and will also damage her in the eyes of her chosen one.

Three stages

After a divorce, a man goes through three stages. The first is post-divorce, when he really needs support, but without unnecessary cooing.

The second is when a divorced person involuntarily becomes a groom again. At this stage, the man tries to avoid dating and serious relationships. And here, next to him, only the one who needs him most remains.

The third stage is a new desire to get married. And at this time, a woman must show her best side, without showing any haste. You shouldn't get ahead of things, because pressure is not the best way.

Reasons why a divorced man wants a new relationship with a woman.

For a divorced man, a “fresh” relationship can be both a way to “forget” and suddenly come true love.

Feelings cannot be classified, so the second option is not discussed (if love is love, then there is no point in unnecessary “philosophy”).

So why is a divorced man looking for a new relationship?

Looking for compassion. A man needs moral support to “lick old wounds” and a vest in which to “cry.” This situation does not make a man look good and does not give anything to his new woman, who in 99% will face the fate of an abandoned wife.
Looking for housing . Sometimes it happens. The ex-wife left, and with her the apartment and everything acquired through back-breaking labor. But you need to live somewhere. Well, don’t shoot it after all. And if this free housing also comes with a bonus in the form of a nice woman who will feed you, take pity on you and put you to bed - then it’s just “bingo”!
The man is an ordinary opportunist. This is a habit - to live at the expense of a woman. First at the expense of his mother, then his wife, after the divorce - at the expense of the one who will fall before his unearthly charm. If only she came across an economical, non-greedy, quiet and submissive one - so that it would be comfortable to sit on her neck.
Fallen self-esteem. When a wife, having packed her bags, goes into the night, muttering through her teeth something impartial and hurting men’s feelings, then an involuntary desire for self-affirmation will haunt a divorced man until he is convinced otherwise. With a new woman, he will understand that he is still irresistible, damn charming, not greedy and “oh-ho-ho,” and not like his ex said.
Banal revenge. In this case, the new woman is unlikely to become a legitimate beloved wife. It will remain one of the pages in the life of a divorced man, on which a tick will be placed - “two or three more, and I will be avenged.” Moreover, most often this new woman turns out to be a friend of the ex-wife - if you bite, it will hurt more.

What should you remember when dating a divorced man, and when should you not marry him?

It’s not worth jumping out to marry a divorced man (it makes sense to at least wait and take a closer look) if...

His feelings for his ex-wife have not cooled down.
You feel like you are being used.
Instead of a strong, calm (albeit burned) man, you see in front of you an irritated whiner who complains to you from morning to evening that he “wasted his whole life on her” and is waiting for your approval and support.

Important to remember:

A divorced man who has had a really hard time with his divorce is unlikely to cry to his new woman about it. And in general, real men don’t discuss their problems and don’t like to answer uncomfortable questions.
You shouldn’t take his side if he suddenly opens up - “that’s an infection, well, you had to get yourself into such a mess!” Maintain neutrality and just be a listener. Discussing his ex-wife will not benefit your relationship.
Don't try to outdo his ex-wife in culinary and other arts. If he really loves you, it won’t be because you cook borscht better than his ex. Be yourself.
If a man speaks badly about his ex-half , this at least does not characterize him from the best side.
Don't be jealous of a man about his past. If love is real, it doesn’t matter what he had or with whom – it’s already a closed book. And you have your own, from scratch.
A divorced man is always internally ready for a divorce. This is a psychological “law” that you can’t escape. Firstly, the man is already prepared in advance for problems in the relationship, and secondly, he will not weigh the pros and cons for a long time if the thought of breaking up arises (he already has experience).
Don’t rush to take on all your man’s problems. This applies to both “psychological assistance to a divorced man” and material problems. Don’t rush to hand him the keys to your apartment, give him your salary and... get married. Time will tell whether this is your prince or just a divorced man who needs a place to live, a “vest” and a pretty comforter.
Find out the reason for the divorce and pay attention to the man’s voluntary and involuntary behavior. A divorced man may turn out to be an eternal “child” who cannot exist without “mom” - without buns for tea, borscht, ironed shirts and soup in a jar to take to work. Or a despot from whom his ex-wife simply ran away in the middle of the night.

Of course, everything is individual - all the pros and cons, all the “peculiarities” of divorced men, their reactions and feelings. In most cases, a man's divorce is just one of the stages of his life , which does not affect his relationship with a new woman.

There is no need to rush into “legitimizing” relationships ( time puts everything in its place ), but distrust of your other half, even a divorced one, is the first step towards separation.

If you liked our article and have any thoughts on this matter, share with us! It is very important for us to know your opinion!

Man after divorce

Unlike women, men prepare for divorce in advance. There are, of course, exceptions, but if nothing foreshadowed trouble, and suddenly at one moment the husband left, then something happened. This may be a banal quarrel that you do not see as serious, but in this case it takes on the role of not a cause, but a reason. Most likely, irritation accumulated over a long period of time, and the next scandal was simply the last straw. One way or another, psychologically the man was already ready for divorce.

Most men don't go into the unknown. Seeing that the relationship with his wife has exhausted itself, they are looking for an option on the side, and for some time they are looking closely at the new chosen one. There are no further forecasts here and cannot be. Since this couple has not previously been united by living together, the relationship may develop quite successfully, but it may not work out from the very beginning. This is why many men, after a divorce, make attempts to return to their ex-wife, or go on further searches for their happiness. A man who was previously married, as a rule, arranges his personal life within a year after the divorce.