Today, the world is constantly trying to throw you off balance and sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't help but feel like your life is going down the wrong path. A harmonious life may seem like one of those theoretical concepts that no one can put into practice, but in reality there is nothing easier than living a harmonious life.
Have you ever wondered if your life is in balance? It's easy to determine whether there is harmony in your life:
- you enjoy every moment and every second
- you can cope with any difficulties
- you can be happy without any reason
- you can be yourself and love yourself as you are.
Living in harmony will take some effort, but once you get into the flow, you will discover simple ways to direct your life where you want it to go. Every day of your life will inspire you and fill you with energy. Your life will be full of wonderful adventures and events that will make every day unforgettable. You will no longer waste your life and spend hours in anguish, thinking about the misfortunes that may happen in your life.
Does a life in balance mean that a life of balance will be filled only with positive people and events that will bring you happiness in every moment of your life? Of course not.
Living in balance is the ability to compensate for any negative event in your life with a positive one. This is what is called: “light at the end of the tunnel.” A balanced life is when you are equally happy at work and at play. If you think of happiness as a diamond, then any adversity that may happen to you is just a cut that will allow the diamond to sparkle even brighter.
If you want to live a balanced life, these five important habits to stick to will help.
Awareness and attentiveness
Awareness is the key to a harmonious life because it will allow you to see every moment of your life and understand what is happening. A conscious person lives in the present and is not caught up in the past or future. Yes, it is important to plan for the future and learn from past mistakes. But what is more important is to understand who you are now and find happiness in that state.
When you focus on the present, you are calm and won't make decisions you'll regret in the future.
When you are aware of reality, you are in harmony with the universe.
HOW TO UNDERSTAND YOURSELF AND FIND HARMONY: healing the Inner Child
In my article “HOW TO LOVE MISTAKES,” I wrote that our inner child is able to help us on the path to achieving harmony in life and fulfilling our desires and goals. And now I’ll tell you in more detail about how this happens, and what to do to hear your Child and establish contact with him.
A cheerful, secure, calm and contented inner child is one of the important aspects for achieving harmony in our lives. This is the part of our personality that truly knows how to enjoy life, wish, dream and, no matter what, try and do!
But most of us had a childhood in post-Soviet times. This is where most of the unsolved problems and difficult life situations come from. If your childhood was filled with traumatic experiences, anxiety, stress, violence, misunderstanding and disrespect for your boundaries and your desires, then you simply decided to close yourself off from the whole world. This is a defensive reaction - to organize a hard, impenetrable shell around yourself or to build a mighty fortress and hide there in order to preserve at least a part of yourself.
It is then that we lose our close connection with our inner child.
How do you know how much your Inner Child is loved?
Answer these simple questions honestly:
— Do you know how to show your true emotions? Are you trying to hide them and suppress them?
— How easily and well do you make friends?
— Do you know how to rest? How often do you do this? Do you suffer from chronic fatigue? Is your health suffering?
— Have you noticed signs of unjustified aggression and anxiety? Do you often experience feelings of fear and loneliness?
— How often do you think about the small joys of life? Do you notice the beauty of this world?
If you answered yes to most of these questions, you should definitely think about talking to your Inner Child and giving him the love that he, and you yourself, did not receive in childhood.
And first of all, for this you need to become loving and supportive
parent! I will talk about this figure itself in another article. And now I invite you to think:
What kind of attitude did you want from your parents as a child? What worried you then? What was missing? How did you feel as a child?
This will help you understand now what kind of parent you can become for your Inner Child. When we know how to listen, understand and accept our Child, we change our attitude towards ourselves and our relationship with the world, we rethink our whole life at this stage! Fears and uncertainty disappear, and emotions and states such as anger, guilt, resentment, shame can be ACCEPTED! Don't be depressed - this should not be done under any circumstances! When emotions are accepted, we can MANAGE them.
So what can you do to reconnect and understand yourself better?
I suggest you perform one technique. To do this, you need to find a secluded place where no one will disturb you. And allow yourself to relax. Make yourself comfortable, sit in a soft chair or on the sofa. Imagine a room containing your inner child. What is he doing? What's his name? Ask him about it. Get to know him, make contact.
It may be difficult for you at first. Perhaps your child will be taciturn, secretive and uptight. In this case, contact with him is very much lost. And now you need to regain his trust. Try to understand from what position are you approaching it? Maybe you are in the position of a Parent, not an Adult? Maybe your child is already so overwhelmed by this parent that at the sight of him he closes down and retreats into his hard shell?
The main thing is to remember that under this very shell hides the most tender and vulnerable soul. Be kind to her, calm and patient. If you give time to yourself and your inner child, you will definitely be able to talk to him. The main thing is not to give up these attempts.
And when he responds, continue your communication. Ask how he feels? What does he like? What emotions is he experiencing now?
Take the time to have a conscious conversation with your inner child. Help him feel safe and feel your unconditional love, acceptance and support.
To reveal your Child even better, take a piece of paper and a pen.
When writing questions, hold the pen with your dominant hand. And when you write down your answers, switch the pen to your other hand. This will help turn on the second hemisphere of the brain and unite it with the first, it is better to enter a state that is not clogged with beliefs and restrictions.
Questions for tips:
- How are you feeling now? What do you want most?
- What makes you happy? When do you experience a state of joy and happiness?
-What do you want most now?
- What prevents you from being happy more often?
-What upsets and saddens you?
- Why are you offended?
— Would you like to be consoled and encouraged more often?
- Why are you angry? What exactly causes this emotion in you?
- What are you afraid of? Do you often worry? What can help you be less afraid?
— What kind of relationship with your parents do you dream of?
Now that you have been able to get to know your child better, understand, hear and ACCEPT his needs, it’s time to take action.
Write down everything you will do soon
to satisfy the desires and needs of your Inner Child!
Draw! Dance! Buy the toy you've been dreaming of for a long time! Ride your bike! Do something unusual and unusual for you, but what your Child wants!
And don't forget about him in the future. Communicate more often when you are not feeling well. And then this communication will bring you joy and harmony in life.
Miracles are possible! The main thing is to let a Child into your life.
Taking care of your body
If you are grateful for the very first gift you received in your life (your body), then you should take care of it. This means making “healthy” choices in your life. Exercise and physical activity, a balanced diet, and a healthy diet will allow your body to rest when it is tired and take care of it when it needs it.
Your body is an instrument that allows you to experience many wonderful moments in your life, so you need to take very good care of it.
A harmonious life is impossible without a harmonious body.
Creation
Every day we face many challenges and choices. Some of them may be easy, others more difficult. If you solve all your problems creatively, then your life will be filled with adventure.
Conversely, if you turn off your creativity, your life will become torture.
Creativity is a wonderful tool that allows us to turn our dreams into reality, play into work and work into play, allowing us to enjoy life even when it seems empty.
Creative people are those who can finely craft the diamond of their life.
Patience
Patience allows us to overcome almost anything, and lack of it can destroy everything you have.
Patience helps you realize your desires (lose weight, start a business or blog). It allows us to be better parents, spouses, friends, and even strangers (sometimes a knowing smile from a stranger can lift you up on a tough day). If you're patient, you don't have to worry about wasting minutes on the road or in line at the store. With patience, you will see the results of all your efforts, and you will not have to waste precious time of your life being upset or angry.
Patience leads to awareness, and awareness leads to harmony.
How to harmonize your goals
Greetings to all!
I ask you to pay attention to the approach I propose when working on your own projects.
Why harmonize? It’s simple - it’s important to go towards your goal easily, with pleasure, being in a state of harmony with yourself, others, and the highest motivation throughout the entire path of implementing your project.
Goal - what you want to achieve.
A project is a set of activities, a set of resources, psychological states aimed at achieving a goal.
I was prompted to write this article by my practice as a trainer, conducting master classes on personal growth, coach and numerologist. According to my observations, people make many mistakes and chaotic actions with an unclear formulation of the goal and a weak vision of their project (steps towards the goal, motivation, vision of the result) as a whole, as well as each of its components.
What problems can you encounter with such approaches when working on your projects?
The first and most important thing is the loss of precious time (a non-renewable resource) due to incorrect planning of your steps and their implementation. The efficiency of using time in a project is greatly affected by changes in circumstances and the influence of external factors.
The second is a loss of motivation to implement the project. There is a high probability of giving up everything or delaying achieving the goal for a very long time.
As accompanying, unpleasant moments may appear:
- low self-esteem of oneself as an individual (I failed, I am not successful enough in my projects),
- self-criticism for the time lost on the project (I could have spent it on easily achievable, but albeit less important goals),
- fear of dreaming and wanting to implement projects of such magnitude, fear of taking the first steps, fear of being let down by other people, fear of enjoying the results when achieving a goal.
Of course, we really want to avoid such problems, and people have a natural desire to have a convenient tool at hand to work on their goals, projects and life tasks.
As you understand, I want to use the tool equally effectively in projects aimed at:
- creating a family (building harmonious relationships),
- tasks of public benefit (work activities),
- personal growth (self-development),
- area of hobby (hobbies).
And it’s even cooler to get a working technology by combining the methods used in their work by coaches, business trainers, personal growth trainers, numerologists and other specialists in the field of goal setting and goal achievement.
It is logical that we will talk about the “Systems approach”. Some people love this phrase, but others don’t find it very comfortable to hear. I’ll try to tell you about it in an equally interesting way for both.
We all have strong and not so strong sides, the presence of resources and the lack of resources that are given to us from birth (for example, numerology gives us a clear picture of them). Over the course of life, when interacting with other people and various tasks, we develop the ability to turn not very strong sides into strengths.
Likewise, in our projects (when we work to achieve our goals) we have weak links, but there are those through which, if used correctly, we can perfectly “pull out” any difficult situation.
The systematic approach to goal harmonization allows you to perfectly see the strong links, transform and direct excess resources from filled areas to the successful functioning of areas with insufficient resources, set priorities for the effective use of time in the project, see all the factors motivating you and see the weak links to which you need to direct Your energy to strengthen.
It’s like seeing the entire map of military operations, on which there is no “fog of war” at all.
“Fog of War” is a term taken from strategic and tactical computer games that refers to unexplored areas of the map, hiding the location, number and types of your enemy’s troops.
Although there are people who prefer a different approach to realizing their goals - magic and riddles along the way (perhaps it’s even more interesting). The fog of war is more of a friend than an enemy to them.
But the danger of wasting time frightens such people too.
So what kind of tool is this, you ask?
In collaboration with my colleague, numerologist, psychologist and art therapist Arina Vlasova, a “Goal Harmonization Map” was developed, which we will consider within the framework of this article.
We follow the logic of Sidorova’s numerological matrix of numbers, using the “Ideal” method, which shows a picture of all the weaknesses and strengths of a person, the availability and lack of resources, the individual characteristics of personality data at birth.
This matrix serves as the basis for asking open questions as part of the implementation of your project.
So, in order. We begin to answer open questions to ourselves and write down the answers in cells sequentially in the form of a 3x3 matrix.
Cell No. 1
- What is your goal, why is this project being started?
- What do you really want?
First, of course, a person develops a dream (I would like), then it is transformed into an intention (I plan to achieve), the intention is transformed into a real goal (I want and will achieve).
The goal must be formulated according to Smart .
- S (Specific) - specific goal.
- M (Measurable) - a measurable goal.
- A (Attainable) - achievable goal.
- R (Relevant) - desired goal.
- T (Time-bound) - the goal has specific deadlines.
Also, the goal must be within your control zone (you cannot set goals for another person) and be environmentally friendly (do not contradict your other goals).
Cell No. 2
- What actions do you need to take to achieve your goal?
We prescribe our actions to achieve the goal. For now, at this stage we are sketching out the first steps that come to mind. Then, after filling out the matrix, we will return to the steps.
Cell No. 3
- What skills have you acquired and developed throughout your life that are necessary to implement the project?
There are two options here if you don’t have the necessary skills - either acquire them (cell No. 2 - actions), or find professionals who will do some of the work for you under your strict guidance (also cell No. 2).
Cell No. 4
- To what extent do your communication skills allow you to successfully communicate with people who can support your project?
- How environmentally friendly will your project fit into public norms and rules?
If there are shortcomings in communicating with people, we add in the necessary steps - actions to improve communication skills.
Cell No. 5
- How do you perceive yourself in your project (your value as a person)?
- What are the components of your resource state (highest motivation when achieving a goal)?
- What helps you to be in the “Game” state (the resource state of most people)?
- Why is this project important to you personally, what values do you acquire during its implementation?
Here it is very important for you to understand the value of yourself as an individual. For many people, this is a rather difficult question, but nothing is impossible. And, of course, there are methods to answer this question: personal growth trainings, coaching sessions, working with psychologists, etc.
Cell No. 6
- What tools, knowledge, techniques will help you achieve your goal?
- What existing values will support you in your project?
We prescribe all the possible tools known to you, accumulated throughout your life from books. If the list is small, and you have to be “creative” every time you implement your projects, accordingly, add to the list of steps (cell No. 2) - search for methods, tools, knowledge.
Cell No. 7
- Are you ready to accept yourself, with all your characteristics, as you implement your project?
- Are you ready to accept full responsibility for the consequences of achieving your goal and those that arise during the implementation of the project?
The postulates of a mature personality clearly tell us about three important components:
- Freedom. Self-awareness - I am. I am free in my choice.
- Power. I can exercise my free choice.
- Responsibility. I accept full responsibility for exercising my free choice.
Cell No. 8
- What is your mission in this project?
- What more are you ready to achieve your goal for? (Goal by goal.)
- Who else besides you will acquire values or material benefits from achieving your goals?
When formulating a mission, try to write it in such a way as if you were telling a small child why you need this goal. In simple and understandable language - a short phrase.
Cell No. 9
- How will you know when you have achieved your goal? (describe as clearly as possible the whole picture you imagine - you have already achieved it).
- Will this result of achieving your goal please you? (What emotions do you experience at the same time.)
- What results do you want to get? (The more specific the better.)
Now let’s add all the filled cells into a matrix, and, in fact, your entire project from idea to result is in front of you. All that remains is to adjust the steps, set priorities, work on your resource state and - forward to the goal!!!
