A friend consoled a friend whose boyfriend had left her. My boyfriend dumped my girlfriend: what is the best way to support her?

About clinical studies

What are clinical trials and why are they needed?
These are studies in which people (volunteers) participate and during which scientists find out whether a new drug, treatment or medical device is more effective and safer for human health than existing ones.

The main goal of clinical research is to find the best way to prevent, diagnose and treat a particular disease. Conducting clinical research is necessary to develop medicine, improve people's quality of life, and to make new treatments available to everyone.

How are they carried out?

Each study has four stages (phases):

Phase I

— researchers are testing a drug or treatment method for the first time with a small group of people
(20-80 people)
.
The purpose of this stage is to find out how safe the drug or treatment is and to identify side effects. This stage can involve both healthy people and people with a suitable medical condition
. To begin Phase I of the clinical trial, scientists spent several years conducting hundreds of other tests, including safety tests, using laboratory animals whose metabolism is as close as possible to humans;

II phase

— researchers give a drug or treatment to a larger group of people
(100–300 people)
to determine its effectiveness and continue to study its safety. This stage involves people with a suitable disease;

III phase

- Researchers provide a drug or treatment to large groups of people
(1000-3000 people)
to
confirm its effectiveness, compare it with the gold standard (or placebo)
, and gather additional information that will allow it to be used safely.
Sometimes other, rare side effects are identified at this stage. It also involves people with a qualifying medical condition. If phase III is successful, the drug is registered with the Ministry of Health
and doctors are able to prescribe it;

IV phase

— Researchers continue to monitor information about the safety, effectiveness, side effects and optimal use of the drug after it is registered and becomes available to all patients.

It is believed that the most accurate results are obtained by a research method when neither the doctor nor the participant knows which drug - new or existing - the patient is taking. This type of study is called "double-blind"

.
This is done so that doctors do not intuitively influence the distribution of patients. If only the participant is unaware of the drug, the study is called single-blind
.

To conduct a clinical trial (especially a blinded trial), doctors can use a technique called randomization

— random distribution of study participants into groups (new drug and existing drug or placebo). This method is necessary to minimize subjectivity in the distribution of patients. Therefore, this procedure is usually carried out using a special computer program.

Benefits and risks for participants. pros

• free access to new treatments before they become widely used;
• quality care, which usually far exceeds that available in routine practice;
• participation in the development of medicine and the search for new effective treatment methods, which may be useful not only for you, but also for other patients, which may include family members;
• sometimes doctors continue to observe and provide assistance after the study ends.

At the same time, when deciding to participate in a clinical trial, you need to understand that:

• a new drug or treatment method is not always better than an existing one;
• Even if a new drug or treatment is effective for others, it may not be suitable for you;
• A new drug or treatment may have unexpected side effects.

The main differences between clinical research and some other scientific methods: voluntariness and safety

.
People independently (unlike rabbits) decide on participation. Each potential participant learns about the clinical trial process in detail from an information sheet, a document that describes the objectives, methodology, procedures and other details of the study. Moreover, you can refuse to participate in the study at any time
, regardless of the reasons.

Clinical trial participants are generally better protected than regular patients. Side effects may occur both during the study and during standard treatment. But in the first case, a person receives additional insurance and, as a rule, better procedures than in regular practice.

Clinical trials are not the first time a new drug or treatment is tested. Before them there is a stage of serious preclinical, laboratory tests. Products that have successfully passed it, that is, have shown high efficiency and safety, go further - to be tested by people. But that's not all.

First, the company must undergo an ethical examination and obtain permission from the Ministry of Health of the Russian Federation

to conduct clinical trials.
The ethics committee
, which includes independent experts, checks whether the research protocol complies with ethical standards, finds out whether the study participants are sufficiently protected, and evaluates the qualifications of the doctors who will conduct it. During the study itself, the patient's health condition is carefully monitored by doctors, and if it worsens, the person will stop participating and will be provided with medical care. Despite the importance of research for the development of medicine and the search for effective treatments for diseases, for doctors and organizers the condition and safety of patients is the most important thing.

A friend broke up with her boyfriend: ways to help support her

How often do your friends come to you for advice after their boyfriends decide to break up with them? In any case, in order not to ruin their life, you need to know how to support the unfortunate one. We will tell you what should be done to console a girl, what you can say to her if her boyfriend has abandoned her. In this article you will also find a list of forbidden phrases that can only ruin everything. You will learn what not to do and why.

Support and support: how to help a friend if her boyfriend abandoned her

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What to do to console your girlfriend after a breakup

Here's what you can do to console the unfortunate person and help her get over what happened:

1. Listen to your friend and do not interrupt her during a difficult story.
2. Show maximum attentiveness, prove to the girl that there is maximum mutual understanding in your relationship.
3. Emphasize that breaking up was the right decision and that resurrecting this relationship will not lead to anything good.
4. Say that she can rely on you, that she can call or come to visit at any time of the day.

The first thing a girl with a broken heart needs is support. She must understand that her friends are nearby and accept any of her decisions, regardless of its correctness.

You should also refrain from moralizing advice. The girl herself made such a serious decision, so she will be able to overcome the problems that arose in connection with this.

To calm down a friend whose boyfriend has decided to leave her, she needs to be distracted from her problems. You can try going to a club or a movie together. The less a girl is alone, the sooner sad thoughts will leave her.

My boyfriend dumped my girlfriend: how to support and console her

As often as possible, focus your friend’s attention on the value of her life and the opportunities that open before her. Help her find an interesting activity that can distract her from sad thoughts, and it will be especially good if this activity is common to you: you can ask your friend about her successes or ask for advice so that she can feel needed. Protect your friend from “relapses” when she suddenly wants to call her ex or “accidentally” meet him.

Until she has fully recovered from the breakup, this will not lead to anything good: her friend’s ex-lover may say nasty things to her or give her false hope of restoring the relationship. Try to talk less about your friend’s ex-boyfriend now, but if she starts talking about him, then be sure to listen, say a few sympathetic words and leave it at that.

What to say if a guy dumped her

Despite the fact that the breakup has already occurred, the girl may still doubt the correctness of the decision made. The task of friends in this situation is to support a friend with motivating phrases. The following options are best for this:

• “You did everything right”, “You did the right thing”
• “Don’t be upset, this is not the last man on Earth”, “You are beautiful and smart, so you can easily find a new guy”
• “He’s not worth your tears”, “He’s not worth your suffering”
• “I will always support you”, “Call me at any time, I will try to help.”

Anything can happen in life: how to support a friend who was abandoned by her boyfriend

I cried too, but time wiped away all the tears. Everything will pass, just trust me. * Nadya, when you love, it’s always hard, and it’s too difficult to calm down. You know, us women are abandoned by men, and we become stronger because of it. Now it seems to you that he is the one and only.

Info

My boyfriend dumped me! How to recover? There's nothing you can do about it. All the posts written above are bullshit. How can you advise reading books, watching a movie, when it is simply impossible, it is not even possible to raise your hands? It’s not like breaking a nail; in fact, it’s almost like the death of your loved one. But to this pain is also added the realization that you have been abandoned.

Week, 4 months. I lived like this for a year and a half, then He wrote. The guy gave up on how to calm down. Real girlfriends help each other, support, console, and rejoice together.

What you should never say under any circumstances

If a couple who has been together for quite a long time breaks up, friends will have to choose which side they are on. The worst solution in this case is to support both. Sooner or later, such support will come out, and the man and woman will be upset that their friends played on two fronts. What other phrases will be destructive in this case?

1. “It’s your own fault” is the worst phrase you can say to a friend after a breakup.
2. “He’s handsome, and he’ll find someone else without any problems,” “You didn’t deserve him.”
3. “I think you did the wrong thing,” “You made a mistake.”
4. “You will never be able to have a relationship like this again.”

Any phrases that can hit a girl’s pride and emphasize the wrongness of her decision should be thrown out of her head. Even if it seems to you that your friend made the wrong decision or lost her temper, you definitely shouldn’t talk about it openly. Gradually, she herself will come to this conclusion, and then she will be able to change something.

The task of friends is to support a friend with a broken heart and rescue her from depression for the sake of future happiness. A girl should break up with a guy not in words, but in deeds, let him go.

The guy gave up how to calm down

But this does not mean that everything is lost, sort yourself out, remember what happened and analyze the breakup, and then you can begin to act. Once you have taken into account all the mistakes, you can begin to act and the easiest way is to understand how to get back the guy who abandoned you but loves you. What to do if your boyfriend dumps you? If you are reading this article, then most likely the worst thing has already happened - your loved one left you.

And now you are desperately trying to understand: “What to do if your boyfriend dumped you?” “How to forget him and move on?” and finally, “Do guys who quit come back?” To begin with, put off searching for answers to these questions for the future and just give in to your emotions. I want to cry? Cry! Do you want to scream? Shout! Invite your best friend over and tell her your story over a glass of wine or a cup of tea.

How to support a friend who broke up with her boyfriend: advice from psychologists

It's nice to watch when friends fall in love, meet and enjoy life with their other half. But love is treacherous. At any moment, a couple can separate for objective reasons. And then you have to console your loved one. Therefore, you need to know how to support a friend who has recently broken up with her boyfriend in order to be able to help her in difficult times.

How to support a friend who has been verbally abandoned by her boyfriend?

You need to be a good psychologist, but it is more important to remain a caring and devoted friend

In such situations, women try to turn the unfortunate woman against the guy who left her, but under no circumstances should this be done! It is better to mention it as little as possible and focus more attention on it, remembering the bright, bright moments in life.

The best words of consolation are quotes and sayings of great people that this is not a tragedy, everything is only for the better - Omar Khayyam, for example, left a rich legacy in this regard.

Psychology of breakups

At any age, a girl takes the news of her partner’s departure hard. Love suffering deeply wounds the soul and does not heal quickly. Therefore, at first, the friend will be immune to requests to stop suffering and shedding tears.

In psychology, there are two phases of the breakup of a couple: protest and submission. At the first stage, a person does not want to believe in what is happening. He hopes that his partner will come to his senses and return. Therefore, if a girl tries, but does not understand how to console her friend, then it is not her fault. The mind is simply deaf to all beliefs.

Having survived the first period, the girl enters the submissive phase. A friend realized that the man she loved had left her forever, and she needed to learn to live without him. At this stage, you can already help and advise something. The girl will gratefully accept any help from a loved one.

Support and support: how to help a friend if her boyfriend abandoned her

Attention

True friends help each other, support, console, and rejoice together.
How to help a friend if her boyfriend left her? You can drag her out to the bar, of course, so that she can dilute her sadness with a glass of wine. Besides, there are a lot of men there. However, you should not drag your friend to the bar, because in a crowd she will feel lonely more than ever, and a glass of wine can turn into ten glasses with all the ensuing consequences. Adapt to her mood You need to feel the mood of your friend and adapt to it.
If, for example, she is angry and you are angry with her ex, tell her what a scoundrel he was and that she deserves a better man. However, if your friend is sad, it is highly undesirable to grieve with her. It’s better to have several handkerchiefs ready, if you don’t want your friend to blow her nose right on your shoulder, hug her, stroke her head.

Ways to console

A girlfriend who was abandoned by her boyfriend is in dire need of support from family and friends. She should know that there are people next to her who are always ready to help her. But the best person to console a lady is a girl who is privy to the details of an unsuccessful relationship. Here are some ways to calm her wounded heart:

1. Let your friend talk. Do not interrupt her and insert relevant comments. It will be possible to discuss the situation when she expresses everything that has accumulated in her soul.
2. Show sensitivity and attentiveness. You need to forget about your thoughts and completely switch to your friend’s problems. She must understand that no one will leave her alone with grief.
3. Be ready to provide psychological support both day and night.
4. Emphasize that her relationship with her boyfriend has long since outlived its usefulness, and separation was its logical end.
5. Discourage strange ideas. If she wants to get her tongue pierced, get a tattoo, or cut off her gorgeous hair, you need to convince her that such changes are unlikely to improve the situation.
6. Isolate her from social networks for a while. The less she visits her ex-lover’s page, the faster her peace of mind will be restored.

During a conversation, it is better to avoid moralizing. In such a situation, a friend wants to hear words of consolation, and not lectures that further spoil the mood. If possible, it is better not to leave the girl sad alone. You can invite her to the cinema, for a walk, to a cafe or club. In the new environment, she will be distracted and will remember less about her adversities.

how to console a friend

Maternal burnout is a topic that is being raised more and more often, causing many opposite feelings in people, but, in a good way, should be raised even more often. Here's what Ekaterina Zinovieva thinks about it

When does this beast (called burnout) attack a woman? What is this anyway? I’m thinking, remembering 10 years of my motherhood and different periods of my condition over the years. I know this animal well...

Burnout, from the word burn out. Associated with total devastation, a place where there was a fire and the earth was damaged. Where nothing will grow for a long time. Emotional burnout is the inability to react emotionally. When you can’t be happy, sad, worry, regret, dream, love, feel with all the depths of your soul.

It’s as if you live in a spacesuit that doesn’t allow emotions to penetrate either in or out.

How can burnout happen to a mother? With a woman who was expecting and wanted a child, knew about the upcoming difficulties, and maybe already has more than one child? Yes, easily! Because these are not related things at all.

And the point here is not at all a matter of physical fatigue, it’s a matter of depletion of emotional resources, a lack of mental strength, or more precisely, even the strength of the soul.

Sometimes it seems that mom is tired, we need to unload her, help her clean, let her sleep, cook food. And this is all very important, because... Mothers, as a rule, are physically very tired. But this will do little to restore the mother’s emotional resources. Therefore, some next child’s hysteria out of nowhere can blow off “mom’s roof” as if she had never rested at all.

Well, that is, if you imagine figuratively, there are two types of fatigue in a person: physical and emotional. Accordingly, in order to feel good, you need to replenish both your physical and your emotional resources. Each separately and on time. Well, if people still take good care of their body, giving it food and sleep, then their emotional resource is often the last thing they remember.

Where do tons of mothers’ emotional resources go?

- He spends time in constant contact with a child or several, talking, explaining, listening, empathy, admiration, emotional support, praise.

- Containing children's and not only children's emotions. This is when you need to console, feel sorry for, encourage, live together a million times a day through anger, sadness, frustration, fears, anxiety, resentment.

- To withstand the resistance of children and defend one’s position as an adult. This is when “I will do what I want, and I will not do what you want from me (study, eat, sleep, wash hands, put away toys, collect my briefcase, turn off the computer, help with housework, etc. .)".

- To process your own emotions, of which there are dozens per day. The child fell and hit himself, ran out onto the road, fell ill - high temperature, threw a tantrum, behaved strangely, had a quarrel with his husband or mother, or with a friend. Problems with money or work, etc.

- To bear enormous responsibility. Neither more nor less, but the child’s life for a long time is literally in the hands of the mother. Do not allow yourself to eat household chemicals, choke on a small object, or risk falling or getting burned. Feed the child on time and with the right food (persuade him to eat it), because the health of the child is also the mother’s responsibility.

- To generate ideas. Well, yes, going for a walk is also an idea. Invite guests and come up with interesting activities for the evening, figure out what craft to make and what to give grandma for her birthday - this is all usually done by mom.

— To organize EVERYTHING!!! Organize children's studies, kindergarten, clubs, visits, theaters, museums, trips to grandma's, hikes, camps, competitions, performances, etc. This is all about tying everything together, adding here the rigmarole of medical examinations, tests, certificates, trips to the clinic. And don’t forget about summer holidays (tickets, accommodation, food, clothing, transport, leisure and...). In all of this, include relationships with your husband and personal time only for each other, work, your leisure time, study, meetings with friends. I forgot about the clothes - sorting them out, selecting what’s small, buying what’s needed, catching a sale, giving away a ton of what’s accumulated on the balcony, etc. Who is the main organizer, moderator and, as a rule, executor of this heap of everyday everyday tasks? Mother!

— Let’s not forget about resource gnawers. These are various criticizing and discussing relatives, acquaintances, and aunts in stores and kindergartens who know everything better than anyone else. And also your internal critics, who endlessly gnaw at you for not reaching the bar you set for yourself.

This is not all that a mother’s emotional resources are spent on. Why does it weather so much that it can lead to burnout?

The key here is that the lion's, huge part of my mother's work remains unnoticed by anyone!

Unvalued and unpaid! Yes, it’s not customary here; it’s shameful to want payment for this. From children? No, they don't owe us anything. From husbands - strange, the budget is shared. Praise from friends and relatives - I don’t really believe in it, and it doesn’t satiate.

And then mom rewards herself - candy, a bun, some kind of purchase. Other ways to please yourself. This is supportive, but quickly turns into an addiction that affects weight and the family budget, ultimately exacerbating dissatisfaction. But it still doesn’t satiate you completely.

What kind of payment would be suitable for mom?

Since we are talking about the leaching of emotional resources, then the return should be emotions. And it's ridiculously simple... It's GRATITUDE. Not from children. They are still small. From my husband, first of all. This is the remark and recognition by loved ones of this imperceptible, endlessly repeated maternal work, mental, emotional labor.

Recognition of what mom does every day is valuable, important, necessary.

And gratitude, as a form, is a way to say this. It is possible without flowers and gifts, but sincerely.

Such simple words “My dear, thank you for what you do for our family, for putting up with the monotony, trying again and again to maintain order, feeding us, loving us, for studying and learning new things, to give our children the best. Thank you for your contribution to our family, it is huge. And my gratitude to you is HUGE!”

So simple! It's so easy to be grateful to each other for what each partner does for the family. But in reality, it is so difficult to stop competing with each other, to stop proving your own importance and goodness by devaluing the contribution of others.

GRATITUDE from loved ones, remark, recognition of this work invisible to anyone, activities that bring joy, laughter, the opportunity to emotionally disconnect from routine activities (even to watch a movie) - this, in my opinion, is the most important thing that will allow the mother of small children to remain alive and active , cheerful, included in family and happy.

What words of encouragement would be appropriate?

Relatives and friends sometimes don’t know how to calm a girl down if her boyfriend has left her. But it's quite easy to do. It is necessary to choose motivating words and phrases that will favorably emphasize the advantages of the breakup.

The following phrases will help to console your friend:

1. “I can understand you, because I also found myself in such a situation. Cry. With tears, all the resentment will come out, and the world will become colorful again.”
2. “The betrayal of a loved one is difficult to understand and accept, but it makes women strong and tempers their soul. Perhaps now it seems to you that it is better not to find him. But believe me, in a few months you will change your mind. It is possible that it was fate that separated you.”
3. “You need to gather your strength and move on, no matter what. I know it will be hard at first, but you will get through it. He doesn’t even imagine what kind of girl he lost, then he will bite his elbows, but it’s too late.”
4. “We need to pull ourselves together and look at the gap from the other side. Suddenly you even ended up winning.”
5. “You are not to blame for anything, and your boyfriend did nothing wrong. It just happens in life. Feelings pass and people break up. Time is the best medicine. “I will also be there and will definitely help you cope with all the difficulties.”

Steps

Help a friend immediately after a breakup

Listen.

After a breakup, whether it lasted six months or six years, your friend is likely not only upset, but also confused. He can talk a lot, pouring out his feelings and emotions. Be prepared to listen to your friend and show concern: this is the first and most important thing you can do to support him.

• No matter what the reason for the breakup, your friend may be asking himself, “What did I do wrong?” or “Can I fix the situation?” It is quite natural to ask such questions, especially if the breakup was unexpected for him.

• Be patient.

  Of course, it’s more pleasant to spend time with a friend when everything is fine with him. However, true friendship is tested precisely in such difficult situations. Constantly remind yourself that as a true friend, you must be empathetic, even if it means hearing the same stories over and over again. Be patient while listening to your friend's emotional distress.

• Remember how a friend helped you when you also found yourself in difficult situations, for example, you also broke up with your loved one or lost your job. Chances are, your friend was also patient with you during these difficult moments.

• Try to cheer your friend up at every opportunity. Let him have a reason to smile.
• Let him know that you are ready to support him. You may think it's a small thing, but in tough times it means a lot.
• Don't force the person to tell you what happened. If he wants, he will tell you when he is ready.
• Give your friend time to think about everything and be alone with himself.
• Hug your friend when he cries. Tell him that you love him and will always be there for him.
• Don't gather too much of a "support group" to help a friend. Big companies are not what a person going through a breakup needs. Have one or two close friends with him.

The situation is perhaps close and familiar to women, because it is necessary to support the best friend who, for some reason, was abandoned by her boyfriend. This can be a difficult, almost impossible task, especially if the unfortunate friend is very suspicious, has strong feelings for the person who betrayed her and has a tendency to be hysterical. So what to do in this case? How to console? After all, it is quite difficult to find the right words, and conversation is exactly what an inconsolable friend needs in such a situation.

What not to say

Friends must in any way save their girlfriend from depression after breaking up. Before speaking words of consolation, they should be carefully weighed. Thoughtless phrases can hurt more than a knife blow. For example, you cannot say:

1. “Only you are to blame for what happened.” A sharp statement will leave a feeling of guilt in your friend’s soul for a long time, which will be difficult to get rid of.
2. “I think you were hasty in your decision. This is the biggest mistake of your life." In the future, the person will constantly doubt his actions and will seek approval from his family.
3. “You won’t be able to build the same relationship again.” The girl will behave carefully with the new young man, afraid of destroying the new relationship by doing something wrong.
4. “He will quickly find a replacement for you. You were unworthy of him." The phrase negatively affects self-esteem. The girl will no longer feel like an attractive person.

Only envious friends, delighted at the separation of the couple, are capable of throwing caustic words. If your girlfriend is suddenly dumped by your boyfriend, you need to think carefully before saying or doing anything, since unintentionally thrown reproaches usually cause irreparable harm to the recipient.

How to help a friend...

Trouble always comes suddenly... you never expect it... And when you find yourself face to face with it, you don’t always know what to do and how to behave with the person who has fallen into it...

The idea for this post was suggested to me by posts that periodically appear in our community on the topic “How can I help a friend who has lost a child?” I decided to structure and summarize what helped me.. But I will be glad if you add to this information by sharing your experience.

1. In a stressful situation, people are divided into two types:

— for whom communication and support are important.

In general, this was my case, I needed to constantly be in public and constant communication.. Therefore, in my case, my friend helped me a lot, who talked to me day after day on abstract topics... as well as BB..

In this case, just be nearby and talk about any, the most abstract topics

— who, on the contrary, withdraw into themselves..

In this case, it seems to me that only a truly close and dear person can help.

2. During the first time after the incident, you are in a state of shock... The most difficult moment is when the shock ends and you begin to realize what happened. The emptiness and despair that accompanies this cannot be described; it must be experienced.

At this stage, various kinds of suicidal thoughts may arise, so someone should always be with the friend.

3. Another danger: depression..

I was overcome by depression that lasted almost a year.. This should not be allowed..

Here I highly recommend: any work that occupies your hands and brain... In principle, any type of needlework, going to work, playing sports...

It is also very important not to accumulate negative thoughts in yourself.. If you want to cry, let him cry, if you want to yell and swear, let him do it.. (I still remember with horror HOW I yelled at my husband..).

If depression does not go away within six months... I recommend seeking medical help. First, go to a psychologist, if he doesn’t help, then to a neurologist... to prescribe medication. The latter literally saved me from the abyss of depression...

4. At a certain stage of this path, a friend may have a desire to radically change everything in her life... Moreover, ideas can be both creative and destructive...

Creative ideas (new image, new hobbies, apartment renovations) should be encouraged and supported in every possible way..

If you want to change your job... Based on my experience, I recommend doing this. An old job is a reminder of the past, and the past needs to be let go...

But the desire to destroy the family is to be prevented... It is not the husband’s fault that this happened... And then, you need to be aware of what to do in the ruins of your life...

5. The loss of a child gives rise to a lot of questions and fears... And this is quite normal..

To the question “Why did this happen to me?” you need to find the answer first of all in your soul.. Probably because it was necessary.. because no one is immune from this... But certainly NOT because you are a USELESS person and NOT because you are a BAD MOM.

After what happened, fear settles firmly in my soul, fear of pregnancy... This is, in principle, quite normal and understandable...

My personal opinion is that next time you should get pregnant first of all, when you are ready for it, first of all psychologically.. When you start smiling and loving this life again.. For you cannot give a new life if your life is not sweet to you..

I wish that neither you nor your friends ever need all of the above. But, if this helps someone, I consider my task completed

PY.SY. Everything that happens in our lives is still a test... a test of strength... Perhaps a reason to stop and think about what we have lived and change something in it...

And only now, after a year and a half, I understand that a negative experience is also an experience... Because now I am no longer afraid of almost anything in this life...