Components of the sexual constitution
The following factors influence its formation.
- Parents' health status. A person suffering from a serious illness is unable to guarantee good health for his child, which is invariably reflected in the formation of systems that ensure the proper functioning of the sexual sphere.
- Genetic predisposition. A father with a strong sexual constitution is likely to pass on his hot genes to his son, which is why representatives of the same genus are so similar.
- Nationality. Each nation has its own physiological characteristics, primarily at the hormonal level, which explains the difference, for example, between hot Argentines and reserved Norwegians.
Sexual compatibility: sexual constitution and sexual compatibility
Author: Yulia Zakharova
Sexual compatibility is an issue of great importance for any couple. This topic may be especially relevant at a time when partners already have little experience of sexual life or are starting to live together, or when they have been living for some time and are thinking about marriage or have recently gotten married.
Moreover, sometimes these questions can arise only a few months or years after the start of sexual relations with a partner, because the sexual constitution can sometimes manifest itself fully only when “the hormones have already played out” and the first ardent sexual storm calms down.
“He terrorizes me with sex every night! I love him, I want to live my life with him, but what about this? I don’t need that much sex, it’s already becoming unpleasant, what happens next?”
“My girlfriend wants sex all the time! I feel inadequate if I can’t satisfy her sexual needs.”
“My husband was no good in bed. Before we got married, we made love several times a week, but now, a year later, it turns out that he only needs once a month at most, and what should I do? I want to get a divorce"
Such questions to psychologists and sexologists are not uncommon.
To understand what might be the matter here, let us turn to the concept of gender or sexual constitution of a man and a woman. This is a set of physiological characteristics of the body, formed by hereditary factors.
There are 3 types of sexual constitution: weak, medium and strong
These names do not carry any evaluation; there is no concept of “good or bad” sexual constitution, it is what nature has endowed you with.
Within each category, subcategories can be identified that describe more precisely, for example, a weak sexual constitution may be closer to average, or may be at the extreme pole - the weakest possible. People with any constitution can experience difficulties in sexual relationships. What is important here is not what kind of sexual constitution a particular person has, but what characteristics the partners encountered.
Knowing about your sexual constitution and that of your partner will help you guess what sexual compatibility is in a couple, better understand each other and help you decide on further actions.
Male sexual constitution: how to determine
Sexologists consider the following vectors:
The age of awakening of libido (sexual desire) - when attraction to the opposite sex arose.
Strong constitution: 9-11 years old, average 12-14, weak 15-17 and older
Age of first ejaculation, regardless of how ejaculation occurred - during sexual intercourse, masturbation, emission
Strong: 10-12 years, average 13-15 years, weak 16-19 and later
Trochanteric index is the ratio of height to leg length.
Strong 1.99-2 or more, medium 1.92-1.98, weak 1.85 or less - 1.91
Roughly speaking, the longer the legs, the weaker the sexual constitution. One woman admitted: “I really like guys who are tall, long-legged, and basketball players, but my body responds to short, stocky, hairy guys.” That woman had a strong sexual constitution, and her body itself told her which men she would be ideally sexually compatible with.
Pubic hair growth
- weak: horizontal (female type), medium: with a transition to the stomach in the form of a path of hair to the navel (male type), strong: male type with excess hair growth (hypertrichosis).
Maximum excess (number of repeated ejaculations per day)
, regardless of how ejaculation occurred. Weak: 0-3, medium 4-6, strong 7-9 or more
Time to reach the conditioned physiological rhythm (CPR) after the start of regular sexual activity (after what time).
The conditioned physiological rhythm is considered to be 2-3 sexual intercourse per week (for the European population). Not everyone always achieves UFR (in the absence of a permanent partner, for example, this is often impossible for objective reasons), so this column may remain blank.
With a weak constitution, UFR is established immediately or after a year of regular sexual activity, with an average one - from 2 to 10 years (and before that, sex can occur more often), with a strong one - 11 years or more, a greater number of sexual acts per week persists in the presence of a regular partner.
The absolute age of achievement of a conditioned physiological rhythm.
This item may also remain blank. Weak: up to 26 years, average - from 27 to 40 years, strong from 41 or more. How to determine a woman's sexual constitution
Sexual constitution of women
Here sexologists consider the following vectors:
Age of first menstruation.
With a weak constitution, it occurs at the age of over 15 years, with an average one - from 13 to 14, with a strong one - at 12 years and earlier.
Regularity of menstruation:
with a weak sexual constitution, there may be long-term irregularities in the cycle or even amenorrhea (absence of menstruation). In moderate cases, there may be episodic short-term cycle disturbances with pronounced adverse external influences, or without disturbances. If severe, the monthly cycle is regular without pathology.
Fertility:
the timing of pregnancy after the onset of sexual activity (in the absence of protection) or, if there was long-term protection, the timing of pregnancy after the cessation of protection.
If the sexual constitution is weak, pregnancy can occur after 3 or more years, in the case of an average one - from 6 months to 2 years, and if the sexual constitution is strong, it can occur even with contraception or very quickly, within 6 months.
The nature of the pregnancy.
With a very weak constitution, there may be miscarriage, threat of miscarriage, severe pathology, severe toxicosis and any other pathological course.
If you have a weak sexual constitution, it is not at all necessary that the pregnancy will be difficult, it only means that the likelihood of a complicated pregnancy is slightly higher. With an average sexual constitution, toxicosis may occur easily or without any pathology at all, with a strong one - as a rule, pregnancy is easy.
Trochanteric index
, ratio of leg length to height: weak - 1.88-1.96, average -1.96-1.99, strong - 2 or more
The nature of pubic and axillary hair growth
: weak - hair growth is either absent, or there are single straight hairs, or the hair is thicker and longer on the central part of the pubis. With an average sexual constitution, hair growth is of the female type: the pubis and upper labia are covered with curly hair with a horizontal upper line. With a strong constitution - a tendency towards the male type or hypertrichosis.
Awakening of erotic libido (age)
Weak: 14-17 and older, average 12-13, strong 11 years and earlier.
First orgasm (age)
: weak - at 31 years old and older, average: at 21 - 30 years old, strong - at 20 years old and earlier.
Achieving 50-100% orgasmicity (at what age)
: weak after 35, average 20-35 years, strong - at 19 and earlier.
Your indicators may be in different types of constitution, then you need to look at where the majority of the answers are and take into account those that are in other types. For example, most indicators indicate an average sexual constitution, but if there are also answers from a strong one, then we can talk about an average constitution with a tendency towards strong, etc.
Now, knowing what your sexual constitution is, you can assume your possibilities.
For example, a 25-year-old man has sex 4-5 times a week. If he is a carrier of a weak sexual constitution, then it turns out that at such a frequency he functions at the limit of his capabilities. If his sexual constitution is average, then this corresponds to his personal norm. In the case when the sexual constitution is strong, the amount of sex for him is far from the limit.
Or, for example, a woman with a weak sexual constitution, having sex once a week, may even suffer from an excess of sex, while a woman with an average constitution will most likely feel dissatisfied, and with a strong one, she will experience acute frustration due to a lack of sexual intimacy.
If partners match their sexual constitution, the chances of sexual compatibility increase significantly.
Couples often ask how much sex is normal?
There are no norms here, each couple is unique and has its own characteristics of sexual life.
What may be the norm for one couple is unacceptable for another. Averages do not tell the true story because the range of individual differences is so large. Some young couples have sex extremely rarely, while others do it several times a day.
Here it is also important to take into account the peaks of sexual activity: a woman or man with any sexual constitution will show different levels of interest in sex at different times of life.
As a rule, after 30-35 years of age, women pay more conscious attention to sex as a process, and in men at 40-45 years of age, the need for sex decreases compared to the age of 20. Although in this too everything can be very individual.
A young couple in their early 30s came to the reception: “We have sex once a month, are we probably sick?” The psychologist asked if anything else bothers them, besides suspicions that this is not entirely normal, if there is some kind of emotional and physical dissatisfaction. It turned out that no.
After that, they, together with a psychologist, analyzed their sexual constitutions and saw that this couple had ideal sexual compatibility: both had weak sexual constitutions, and they were lucky to meet each other. So, for this particular couple, sex once a month is the absolute norm, and they are happy.
Low compatibility in sex: when are differences insurmountable?
How to determine sexual compatibility
It also happens that the difference in sexual constitution turns out to be insurmountable.
When partners' sexual constitutions differ significantly, and they are not ready to meet each other halfway, or are ready, but nature constantly asserts itself, sometimes it is wiser to separate so as not to torment each other all their lives.
A young woman with a strong sexual constitution fell in love with a man with a weak one. When they lived in different cities and met a couple of times a month during her business trips, their sexual compatibility seemed quite normal. Then he invited her to live with him, she agreed and moved.
After some time, it became clear that their compatibility in sex was actually far from ideal: he had enough sex once a month and monotonously, but she needed much more often and more varied.
Where some couples could agree and add other methods of sexual interaction, nothing worked for them: the man could not bring himself to increase sexual activity, and the woman began to look for satisfaction on the side. The difference was significant and insurmountable. They eventually separated, giving them the opportunity to create more harmonious unions.
Sexual compatibility or ability to negotiate?
What to do if we are not sexually compatible
A girl met a 30-year-old young man. She is divorced, young, beautiful. He sees that he likes her, but doesn’t get around to having sex. Why? Maybe he has a very weak sexual constitution? The psychologist suggested possible sexual disorders in the man. The girl decided to check. When I was visiting him, I tried to initiate sex.
Then he honestly admitted to her that he had extensive experience in masturbation, but did not have much sexual experience. Strong anxiety before direct sexual contact often blocked his initiative towards girls.
He really wanted sex with her, but had a huge amount of fears about this process itself.
But the girl was not afraid of problems. She turned out to be very supportive, did not devalue him, humiliate him, and did not turn away. After consulting with a psychologist, she gradually helped him reduce his anxiety and overcome his fears.
At first they just talked about it, then they agreed on mutual caresses without sex on the advice of a psychologist. But on the very first evening they couldn’t resist, and the pleasure from sex for both exceeded all expectations. Their intimate relationship improved. And their sexual compatibility turned out to be high.
Another example: A young married couple came to the reception. The psychologist interviewed each individual separately. The wife complained that she did not have enough sex and suspected that their sexual compatibility was low. The husband explained this by saying that he was very busy at work and was tired. When analyzing the sexual constitutions of the partners, it turned out that both of them were weak.
But the woman mistakenly assumed that she needed more sex, since it turned out that she was driven by an unconscious attitude that for her sex is an expression of her partner’s love, i.e. if there is a lot of sex, it means she is loved. While true sexual needs turned out to be small.
In this couple, further work went towards establishing contact between the spouses, getting to know each other and finding other ways to express love to each other. At the same time, they realized that they had good sexual compatibility.
What should partners committed to each other do if it turns out that their compatibility in sex is far from ideal, that they differ greatly in the level of their sexual needs?
When spouses with different sexual constitutions love each other very much and have the same value system, they will adapt, find options, without cheating or breaking up.
For example, if a wife’s sexual constitution is weaker than her husband’s, she can sometimes remain in sex in a passive role, if this is acceptable for her, or give her partner sexual satisfaction in other ways than direct sexual intercourse - for example, resort to oral or manual caresses .
And the one whose sexual constitution is stronger will not insist on sex so often, sometimes helping himself through masturbation. It can provide a real and pleasurable outlet for sexual needs when a person's sexual needs currently exceed the needs of his partner.
In general, the more active role is given to the partner who has more energy and who needs sex more. It is important to discuss this together and find solutions that will suit both. Then partners will not have the feeling that their compatibility in sex is low and is a constant source of problems.
Such partners will try to take care of each other without being violent. Those. adapt to these differences in sexual constitution, in the presence of other, no less important, factors - love, common values. Therefore, for each couple with such complaints, their own solution can be found.
Of course, good sex and a successful marriage are not directly related, however, relationships that bring great sexual satisfaction tend to last longer, and spouses in this case are less likely to resort to infidelity than when the marriage does not provide such satisfaction.
However, the sexual compatibility of partners, resulting from an identical or similar sexual constitution, is not all that can influence the quality of sex. The most important element determining the quality of sexual relationships between partners is communication between them.
Sex is as important a topic as raising children, current affairs, and anything else you're willing to discuss with each other. If you are afraid to discuss the topic of sex, you may lose that important part of intimacy in a relationship, something that strengthens family and trust in each other.
If a couple is not ready to talk about sex, they are often not ready to talk about much else, and instead of constructive dialogue, partners think for each other, get offended, and manipulate.
If you are afraid to talk to your partner about sex, you should think about trust, what are you afraid of and what terrible things could happen if you start openly discussing these topics with each other? How much do you trust your partner? Do you know for sure his needs, thoughts related to sex, or are you just guessing and thinking for him? And he? Does your partner know about your needs in your sex life?
In this case, it would be good to contact a psychologist or sexologist who will help the couple start such a conversation. Research by American sexologist Alfred Kinsey found a close correlation between the ability of partners to talk about their sexual desires, feelings and the quality of marital sex.
Despite the importance of such a compatibility factor as sexual constitution, one should not forget: how a person expresses himself in sex depends on many other aspects: personality type, upbringing, attitudes and myths absorbed from the parental family and society.
It is important to remember that sexual compatibility alone does not guarantee happy family relationships, and does not replace everything else: spiritual closeness, compatibility of characters, common goals, principles, etc. And does not exclude the need for a couple to be willing to work on their relationship, including . and sexy.
Determination of sexual constitution
There are scientific and non-scientific theories about signs that indicate sexual constitution.
Scientific approach
It is based on data from physiology - the science of how the body functions, so the conclusions drawn with its help are reliable.
Male body hair density
The abundance of vegetation on the stomach, chest, back, arms and legs indicates a high level of testosterone, the hormone responsible for masculinity. It is he who gives strength to the sexual temperament.
Bald
This symptom is also due to high levels of testosterone, although early baldness may be due to other reasons.
Time of onset of wet dreams in boys and menstruation in girls
In adolescents with a strong sexual constitution, they begin at the age of 10, with its average level at the age of thirteen, and with a weak one at the age of 16.
Psychological characteristics
Testosterone is responsible for the power of sexual temperament, and it also affects a person’s character. Those with a higher level are distinguished by strength, straightforwardness and some aggressiveness.
Testosterone girls and effeminate men
Women also have testosterone in their blood, in smaller quantities than men, and in some of them its level is at the upper limit of normal - it is this that gives them a special sexuality.
Testosterone girls have a masculine figure - wider shoulders compared to hips, slender and strong. Oddly enough, at first glance, it is they, and not women with large breasts and hips, who have a strong sexual constitution.
The sexual temperament of curvy young ladies is restrained by an excess of the female hormone estrogen. By the way, pot-bellied men with female obesity indicate their weak sexual constitution. Estrogen, which is closely associated with fat deposited on the stomach and buttocks, is to blame for everything.
Region of residence 2
As a rule, men living in countries with warm climates are more temperamental than northerners, which means they need more sex. The southern climate has a positive effect on the production of testosterone in the blood, increasing its level (perhaps this is why holiday romances are a very common phenomenon among men and women). 3.
