How to become a warm friend to your husband?
There are five principles on how you can become a warm friend to your husband. A woman can do this if she wants. The first thing she must do is she must listen to what he is saying. It's not difficult for a woman to listen. Her psyche is adapted to this. When a woman is bored, she can simultaneously solve her questions in her head and listen with interest at the same time. A man, when he listens, he seethes, it is difficult for him to listen, he wants to talk, but he must listen. Therefore, we must speak only to the point, the most important thing. Basically you have to listen.
And what will be the result of such a conversation? He will say, you know, we talked so well, I felt that we understood each other. Although only he spoke, and there was essentially no conversation. And when a woman listens to her husband, she just needs to accept his emotions, react the same way as he says, and don’t need to do anything else. At the same time, you can think about something of your own, in any case, the result will be the same. He will be very pleased with the situation. That, in principle, a man doesn’t need to know how much his wife gets into things, the main thing for him is that she listens to him.
Because at least someone should be for him. Because if a man feels that a situation is being created against him, he loses strength, and a man’s strength lies in the sphere of feeling, superiority over others. Therefore, in order to pump him up, like we pump a car on wheels, in order to pump him up with this force, a man must know that someone understands him, and someone accepts his views on life. And, if the wife says, you are right in everything, completely, exactly, that’s all. Then he seems to be pumped up in this way, and then he acts again and wins, ultimately. His ideas then win. And, in the end, if he is wrong, he is also convinced of this himself, then he changes everything.
Thus, the wife should not make comments to her husband during this dialogue, and should not oppose him in any way. That is, his conversation does not mean that she should find faults. That is, he may even ask, well, what am I saying wrong, tell me, you know me, what am I saying wrong? She should, if he really demands, she should say that maybe this could be wrong, but you are saying it correctly, most likely. Otherwise he will start to get angry. That is, he can ask, as it were, what is wrong, then this will be the reason for a monologue for a whole hour. Even if the next day he says, you know, I think you were right. He can say so, but before that he will have to listen for an hour. Foaming at the mouth, with square eyes, with red square eyes. You want to listen for an hour, don’t you? No. So you just have to say: yes, everything is correct. And then the next day, if he is wrong, he will understand himself and say, you know, in my opinion, I was wrong. And he will express everything again. But he will say, well, yes, actually. It's funny, yes, it all looks something like that. This is family life.
Each person has his own stupidities in his character that must be taken into account. A man and a woman are also poorly developed children. The man is a poorly developed child and the woman is a poorly developed child. We are all underdeveloped children, but underdeveloped in our own ways. When we understand this, we will be able to live normally with each other. We must understand that people have natural shortcomings for which they cannot be blamed.
For example, a woman cannot be accused of being very emotional and sensitive. A woman cannot be blamed for constantly complaining and worrying, this is her nature. You can’t tell her, “why are you unbalanced all the time, worried all the time.” A man should not make such accusations. Because this is a natural flaw of the female body. If you want a calm man, marry a man. Live with a calm person. If you want to have your happiness with a woman, then you will have to marry a woman. And no matter how she will have to, she will have to worry.
Also, a man cannot pay attention to details. And his sphere of happiness is not in the sphere of the intricacies of family relationships. The main thing for him is that they listen to him, love him, respect him, and that’s enough. This is not a sign that he is underdeveloped. It’s just that men’s psyche is developed in one direction, it cannot be developed in both directions.
You cannot blame a man for being inattentive when cleaning the apartment. “You see here, here on the dishes, here here, there is dirt left.” He says: where?? Well, here's the dirt, see? That's a greasy stain! - Where?? He doesn't see. If he sees this spot, he will say: are you crazy? He will not understand that this stain needs to be washed off. Because that's nature. Of course, men can develop the ability to see both dirt and clean. But this is not their innate property. They may develop this with difficulty, grinding their teeth while sweeping the floor.
You should know that in general, how would we get the type of body that we are attracted to. And a man is always attached to a woman in life, so most often, in the next life he becomes a woman, and a woman is attached to a man in her life, so in the next life she becomes a man. So they change bodies, and the way they work out karma also changes. In the female body, karma is worked out, so a woman suffers more. If she doesn’t seem to know how to do or act correctly, she immediately, immediately begins to suffer.
If a man doesn’t know how to do the right thing, he doesn’t give a damn about how to do the right thing. He takes it and acts as he sees fit. There, here, back - it’s nice for you and me. Everything is fine, no problems. No problems, divorced means divorced, no problems. Who is suffering, wife? We drink and there are no problems either, my wife suffers. Walking - no problems, arguing with someone, no problems. The one who suffers is the wife. Quit his job - no problem. Who is suffering? Wife. Therefore, a woman must be experienced, we talked about this. So that she does not suffer, she must organize her life in such a way that it is easier for her to survive difficulties.
A man accumulates karma, saves. In his next life he will groan. It will be hard for him in his next life. Now he walks around crazy, pretending that he can get away with anything, but nothing like that. You'll never get away with anything. In this regard, female birth is more favorable because the person is purified naturally. Therefore, women are more pious by nature. They have good character traits and are more inclined to progress. Women drink less than men. More chaste, more pious than men. But if such trends begin in society, women become the same as men in their behavior. The Vedas say this is a sign of the degradation of society, not progress. This means society is deteriorating.
Economically, everything may be very developed in our country, but how much happiness there is in society - this is a sign of progress. If happiness is not enough, then what is progress? Progress means happiness, increasing happiness, is in the realm of relationships. Therefore, when a woman behaves more consistently, she encourages men to behave correctly, stimulates good character traits in them, and then society progresses. If a woman follows a man, emancipation begins, she behaves in the same way, copies his shortcomings, then society degrades accordingly.
The article was prepared based on lectures by Dr. O.G. Torsunov.
Good qualities of a girl
Do not hurry
First of all, take your time. Don't make him rush. Let him take his time introducing you as his girlfriend. I agree - this is a very important part of the relationship, but don't constantly remind him. Just go with the flow and let time take its course.
Be independent
Yes, independence is a very important part of your life, please don't focus yours on it. Have your own life, spend time with yourself, communicate with friends. Be there when he needs you, definitely, but don't continue to cling to him.
Appreciate
Appreciate him for who he is and don't criticize him for the habits he has. Don't try to change it completely. Remember that this is the same person who made you fall in love.
Have your own opinion
You don't have to agree with what he says and disagree with what he doesn't like. You have yours that you have. Two people who live together have different opinions on many issues, and this is very natural. However, please do not contradict him with anything he says.
Space
Remember that you are both different people and have lives outside of each other. Let him have his share of independence and space in the relationship.
Be cheerful
No guy likes a girl who cries all the time. From time to time, we all become and end up crying, but we don't do it regularly. In fact, guys love girls who have a good sense of humor. And those who know the ability to laugh at themselves.
Share his interests
No, I'm not asking you to start lifting his 10 kg dumbbells. However, try to share his interest in hockey, football or any other sport. You can watch games with him from time to time, what is not clear, you can ask him. If you don't overdo it, then I'm sure he will be happy to explain all the nuances of the game.
Pamper him
Most guys are spoiled by their mothers, now it's your turn to spoil him. Do small things for him like cleaning his room, washing his clothes, cooking something tasty, etc. This will show how much you care about him, and there is every chance that he will respond in a similar way.
Have self respect
Nobody is asking you to have an inflated ego, but never compromise against your self-respect. He will only respect you if you respect yourself.
Be his friend
You've gone from 'just friends' to 'couple'. However, this doesn't mean you should forget the "friendship part" of your relationship. Make sure that the friendship in love is alive.
Communicate
Your boyfriend is a person, not a wizard, who himself will know about your feelings. Whether you are happy, sad or sick, talk to him! You don't have to tell him every detail about what happened, but please don't keep it to yourself. Never stop communicating with him.
Be expressive
Consistency and patience
This is what most girls lack. Don't shuttle between different moods and emotions. Be consistent in your feelings and moods. Don't rush to a conclusion. Be patient and listen to him before he speaks.
Instructions
The situation is not easy, especially if you are shy and delicate. Your upbringing and character do not allow you to open up, and for some reason all kinds of hints stubbornly do not reach the girl. In this case, it is better to overcome shyness and frankly confess your feelings to her. Because any certainty is better than ignorance, and hints may not arrive for a very long time. After all, girls perceive the same words and behavior differently. A girl may indeed either not notice or misinterpret the efforts of a young man.
If you still can’t decide on this, you should resort to the help of mutual friends. The girl who heard something like: “Well, how can you be so blind? After all, he’s been pining for you for a long time, don’t you notice!
The same can be done in a more subtle, veiled form. For example, let the same mutual friend (or friend
) will praise you. Surely there will be something for that. With the inevitable addition: “Oh, and the one who falls in love with him will be lucky!”
You can also resort to a rather risky, but effective method: arouse jealousy. After all, a woman understands that sooner or later she will need to start a family. While the guy (at least in front of her) did not show interest in other representatives of the fair sex, the thought: “Will he be a good husband and father?” It just might not have occurred to me. As soon as such interest is shown, the girl may instinctively perk up: this is why he is interested in someone else when I’m around!
Another risky but effective method: temporarily disappear from the girl’s life. It is not difficult to find a plausible excuse for this. She is used to the fact that you are always next to her, she can tell you about everything, complain, ask for advice, help. Let him now compare: how good it was with you and how uncomfortable it became without you.
Well, what if a girl openly makes it clear that you are not her type, that she values you as a friend
, simply does not perceive him as a man - you have to come to terms with this. After all, “you can’t be nice by force”!
Sources:
- how to turn a friend into a boyfriend
There is an opinion that girls love “bad boys.” However, this stereotype has long been outdated, and recently girls prefer to choose good and reliable guys for relationships.
Instructions
If you want to become good in order to please your parents, just start doing good deeds. Get busy studying, find yourself a useful hobby, for example, you can sign up for a volleyball section or any other sport. Come back on time. Try to show attention and care towards your parents. Be interested in how their day went, ask how they are feeling and if they need help with anything. Spend more time on household chores. Please your mother and clear the dishes from the table after dinner. If you behave this way, believe me, your parents will be delighted to tell everyone they know about what a good guy they raised.
If you are trying to please not only your parents, but also, you may well become good for her too. To do this, you just need to take care of her, show her attention and respect. Give her flowers, invite her on dates, take her home. The girls came up with a whole list of what a good guy should do, namely: he should be able to listen, be able to shut up in time, be able to speak correctly, be able to find a new topic for conversation when the old one has already exhausted itself, be able to guess the wishes of his beloved and fulfill their. In addition, they believe that a man should always take care of his soulmate, be able to stand up for himself, clearly express his thoughts and correctly explain what exactly he wants from his girlfriend at one time or another.
In addition to simple rules of behavior, you must fully maintain the image of a good guy, completing this image with the right clothes. Nice guys do not prefer sneakers and a tracksuit, but jeans, shirts, trousers, sweaters, elegant and clean shoes. Try to always look neat and tidy, behave correctly, and then everyone around you will consider you a good guy.
A cool guy is the dream of some girls and the conqueror of the hearts of the fair sex. He stands out from the crowd, radiates self-confidence, masculinity and strength. If you want to try on this image, start working on yourself.
The appearance of love
The most popular development of such friendship is that only one person from the couple falls in love.
There are two scenarios for further development of the situation. The first is that the lover is afraid of ruining the existing relationship, losing the opportunity to communicate, so he does not show his feelings in any way. The second is when the lover talks about his feelings. Most often, this leads to an irreversible change in relationships. And not always positive. After all, it is almost impossible to love back “of your own free will.” And communicating with a person in the same easy, friendly way after confession becomes very difficult. All this does not mean that friendship between a man and a woman cannot exist at all. You just have to prepare for the fact that it may become a temporary phenomenon. Honesty in such a situation is the best policy. If suddenly one of the couple begins to experience love, it is better to say so right away. This way you can stop communication in time. Because it’s much easier to complete something when it’s just beginning, so you can get by with little bloodshed and a not completely broken heart.
You have known each other almost since diapers, you have repeatedly seen him in his shorts, but you always treated him like a brother, and then suddenly this... It doesn’t matter how you ended up in the same bed. The main thing is how to maintain the same friendships. A few tips will help you look at your friendship with a guy from the other side.
Friendship between a man and a woman sooner or later ends with one of the parties wanting more than evening heart-to-heart conversations on the phone. First of all, you need to figure out whether sex was an accidental result of an alcoholic party or whether one of you had stronger feelings than friendly ones. Think about it, perhaps the time has come to take your relationship to the next level.
Love that has arisen has a lot of advantages: you don’t have to get to know your parents - his mother has long considered you a daughter, you and the guy already know each other’s habits and shortcomings, and you are also not afraid to behave naturally when you meet. Your sexual impulse can serve as a reason to look at each other again and plunge into the world of mutual courtship and reverent dates. However, there are also disadvantages: you are aware of all his past sexual exploits and ex-girlfriends.
