Is it possible to return a man's feelings if they have cooled down?

, and we believe that if we have met someone who has real feelings for us, then this is forever. We want the great and blissful feeling called love to never disappear, and for that one, unique and beloved guy to be there all the time and turn our life into a fairy tale.

Unfortunately, often in life

it happens completely differently and over time, many couples begin to notice that the pure and tender feeling for each other is cooling down. The bright and hot fire that was between the lovers gradually fades and it becomes unbearably painful from the knowledge that the guy who was crazy about you just recently suddenly began calling less, answering SMS, or even avoiding meetings altogether . Does love pass and why do feelings cool?

That guy

I began to call less often and behave completely differently, girls react differently. Some try not to pay attention to this, others fall into deep depression, and still others begin to pester their loved one with questions: “Why don’t you call me?”, “Why have you changed so much?”, “Why don’t you love me anymore?” etc. In fact, placing all the blame for the cooling of the relationship solely on the shoulders of the guy is not correct. Everything that happens in a relationship between couples is the fault of both partners. Therefore, before blaming a guy, think about whether you yourself remain the same?

Maybe you're used to it

to him so much that you stopped noticing how you yourself had changed and became not the cheerful girl you were at the beginning of your relationship. Think about it: maybe the feelings have cooled down and the love has passed because there was no love at all? After all, a girl often confuses love with a guy’s passion when he shows tenderness and affection only in order to drag her into bed. And after he has slept with a girl, he begins to look for new sensations on the side. Is it worth keeping a guy like that? After all, every girl needs a faithful and reliable partner, and he is not worth your girlish tears. Don’t confuse true love with affection, if the guy didn’t love you and doesn’t show more interest in you after the first passionate night, then just try to forget him, it means he’s not worthy of your suffering.

If you had true love

, and you are really sure that he loved you sincerely, and now he has simply begun to pay less attention to you, then you should not cry or torment yourself with questions. First, calm down and relax, then try to understand the situation. Sometimes girls get used to frequent calls and dates, and when there are fewer of them, they begin to sound the alarm in vain. After all, often a guy begins to call less often and make an appointment not because he has stopped loving, but because he is busy at work or for other valid reasons. If a guy loves you, this does not mean that he should spend all day looking for meetings with you and call you on the phone in the evenings.

The point is that men

people are less sentimental. It may well be that he doesn’t even think about the fact that you suffer from loneliness. He himself is busy all day at work and with other worries, so he thinks that your day is also just as busy. The main thing in this situation is not to lose your pride and self-esteem. To avoid suffering from loneliness, start looking for a source of positivity. Previously, it was a beloved guy, but now let it be a hobby or another activity that brings pleasure. You need to fill your life with light and joy, learn to become an independent and in control girl.

Don't bother your loved one

questions about why he began to call you less or changed his attitude towards you; if he really loves you, then he will not go anywhere. When he sees that you are, as before, cheerful and always in a good mood, and happiness is shining in your eyes again, he himself will want to be around you more often. As you know, all living things reach out to warmth to keep warm. So he too will very soon understand that it is impossible to lose such love, that such happiness must be fought for.

Of course, no matter how strong

There was no love between a man and a woman; it cannot remain unchanged throughout life. The intensity of feelings after several years of living together becomes dull, but this does not mean that love has passed. Instead of passion and enthusiastic feelings, tenderness and affection for each other appears between spouses. This is also a kind of manifestation of love. So that feelings do not dull, and the fire of passion burns longer, you cannot turn into a boring and eternally dissatisfied woman. There are ways to awaken cooled feelings and bring new emotions into the relationship between partners. Here they are:

1. More positive

. Sincere laughter, fun, jokes are great ways to bring romance back into a relationship. Buy a board game or go on a picnic in nature, where you invite your lover to fight. You can simply play a computer game together, showing as much humor as possible.

2. Don't turn your evenings

during a boring time together. There is no need to try to discuss your problems every evening or make scandals about lack of attention. First of all, try to become a gentle and caring woman, alone with whom you can relax and unwind after work.

3. Don't forget to give pleasant surprises

. Invite your loved one to go to the cinema, football, concert, swimming pool together, have a romantic dinner or go to a restaurant with him.

So that feelings don't cool down

, you don’t have to sit back and wait for a man to start showing you more attention. Take the initiative into your own hands and take all possible actions so that the slightly extinguished fire in the relationship lights up again with the same flame. Know how to give and enjoy it!

Admitting to yourself that a relationship is slowly but surely dying is often difficult. Often we deceive ourselves, afraid of being alone after a long relationship, but in fact we feel that love is fading away. What signs indicate that feelings are in agony and the relationship cannot be saved?

You need to be alone more and more often

Previously, you tried to spend every free minute with your loved one, but now you can seriously choose between an evening with him or alone. This suggests that you are no longer comfortable in society with your chosen one. Communication with him began to weigh on you. There can be a lot of reasons - constant conflicts, divergence of interests, indifference to each other’s lives. Whatever the reason, the regular choice of solitude or the company of other people indicates a gap between you that only continues to grow.

You can imagine yourself with another person

If you, thinking about your life and future, can imagine yourself next to another person, then this is a depressing symptom for your current relationship. You are open to new people and live with the feeling that another person may appear in your life - better and more worthy than the previous one. The current chosen one no longer seems to you the best candidate for the role of your companion, and you will always doubt him, waiting for a more suitable person to appear on the horizon. In such a situation, relationships become an unnecessary yoke around the neck, preventing you from starting a new life.

You no longer strive to solve problems

The desire to understand the causes of quarrels is a natural impulse, indicating that you value the person and your relationship. But now another conflict only evokes a desire to escape, rather than discuss the accumulated grievances once again. When you sometimes get into an argument, you blame and reproach your partner for all his mistakes, recalling many episodes from the past. If this situation is familiar to you, it means that you have let the relationship take its course, no longer having the strength and desire to fight for a happy future with this person.

You no longer confess your love

You no longer want to lie, first of all to yourself, and don’t say “I love you,” because now it doesn’t come from the heart. Occasionally, recognition may come from your lips, but this happens rarely and most likely out of habit. Reluctance to tell a person about your love for him is the most important signal that there is no more love.

Question for a psychologist:

Hello. I’m 21 years old, my boyfriend is 25. We’ve been together for 4.5 years, getting married in half a year. But he irritates me greatly, against this background my feelings fade away. Previously, he was more romantic, more caring, more fun. Now there is no such thing, a passive, boring guy. Even my sexual attraction to him disappeared. And intimacy is rare. Because I have a disgust for him. I became harsh, rude, my mood changes at the snap of my fingers. We seemed to be sitting fine, laughing, talking, then suddenly, suddenly, he began to irritate me. Naturally, he doesn’t understand my reaction. I'm terribly tired of this change of mood. We constantly sit at home, don’t go anywhere, and when I say that I’m not happy with him, he always answers me “as it is” or “find something better.” These are stupid excuses. He’s trying to talk to me, to find out what’s wrong with me, why my mood has changed, to which I answer “you’re annoying me” without knowing the reason. I also can’t tell you my feelings about our future marriage, because I don’t see the point. I think that words will fly into one ear and fly out of the other. I'm afraid that when I marry him, I won't be happy with him. I'm afraid that every morning I will wake up, look at him and think “how you irritate me.” But I can’t let him go either. I love. He is afraid of losing me, but he doesn’t want to do anything. I also want normal intimacy, but disgust from him and betrayal do not attract me. We can have a bed when I have a little drink. I don't want to cheat on him. And I don’t know what to do. He's a good guy, but not the same as before. From the very beginning Everything was so good. Now everything has reached a dead end, I don’t know how to stir him up, maybe I need to change something in myself? Are there any methods? Previously, I was in such a state when it seemed that everything was over, the relationship was over. When I had emptiness inside, indifference, disgust for my boyfriend, but before this lasted a month maximum, now it lasted for 7 months. I don’t want to break up because I’m used to him, but not to his new attitude towards me. But I can’t continue like this; I can’t torture myself constantly either. I want to have butterflies in my stomach like before, love to the marrow of my bones.

Tell me, please, what to do?

Psychologist Yulia Vladimirovna Vasilyeva answers the question.

Hello, Vera!

Unfortunately, there may be many reasons for your disappointment, but judging by your letter, I can say for sure that you lack constant attention from your boyfriend. Your relationship has passed the candy-bouquet period and monotonous everyday life has begun. The time for passion has passed, and you are faced with reality. Maybe it wasn’t love at all, but just affection or infatuation... Understand that it’s impossible to be on holiday all the time! It's impossible to be the center of attention all the time!

Relationships in the family require return from both sides, and when there is one-sided return, the partner quickly gets tired and loses interest. Learn to serve each other in the ordinary days of your life, in simple things. It is important that in your relationship you have common interests, common dreams, common joys, common goals. It is important that together you look in the same direction. You asked a question in your letter: will I be happily married to him? And you should set yourself up even before marriage to another more important question: can I make this person happy, am I ready to devote my life to him? If you have only your own interest in this relationship, to please you and only make you happy, then such a relationship will fail. Selfishness is the main root of disagreements and family problems. Analyze your behavior and ask yourself questions:

1. Am I ready to sacrifice something for the sake of my loved one?

2. Will I be there for him if something bad happens?

3. Do I know my boyfriend’s needs, how can I please him?

4. Do I want this man to be the father of my children?

5. What are our common interests?

6. What are our common dreams and goals?

7. On what do I base my love for him?

8. Do I want to make him happy? What can I do for this?

9. Are our relationships a habit, an attachment, or real feelings?

10. Do I want to be with this person for the rest of my life?

Vera, you can answer these questions yourself or discuss them together, this will help you understand what you are building your relationship on and what awaits you in the future. True love accepts a person as he is and does not try to change him or adjust him to his interests.

I recommend that you talk and discuss topics that concern you more together. Share your needs with each other, this is important because it is very difficult to guess what your partner wants in a given situation. Plan your weekend together, then your days will become more colorful, show your imagination, the main thing is that the events of your life be an interesting adventure. How the future relationship will develop depends on the two of you. If the crisis grows, I do not recommend you tie the knot. Grow up and work on yourself, on your character.

Great love burned in my heart. It burned so intensely that even my whole body was burning. And it seemed that love would be like this forever. But, as life has shown, nothing lasts forever. You enjoyed love and its power, but... It's all gone! You yourself don’t understand how and when...

What to do with cooled feelings?

• You don't have to do anything with them

Leave them as they are, pretending that this is how it should be.

• You can try to understand the truth of the reasons for the cooling of feelings

It doesn't really matter how much time it takes. The main thing here is efficiency.

• Or you can kill the feeling so that the coldness coming from them no longer weighs on you

The option is the most severe. And what? This certainly shouldn’t scare you away!

Try to bring back the fervor of feelings!

Or are you afraid of getting burned...?

Everything can be done carefully, thoughtfully, and little by little. If the choice is to return old feelings, we wish you! You may be “slowed down” by a phrase that says that it is better not to return the old, but you do not have to obey this phrase. Listen to yourself and the heart that beats inside you!

How to return feelings if a guy suddenly loses his temper?

Other relationship problems

09.11.2017

2.6 thousand

1.7 thousand

12 min.

A guy loses interest in the girl he loves for a number of reasons, but they are not always associated with the fading of feelings and the woman’s behavior. These could be problems at work, fatigue, lack of new sensations. In such cases, a woman should not throw loud phrases about separation, based only on suspicions and internal feelings. If a man is truly dear, it is important to understand his feelings and try to fix everything. In most cases, the relationship, once saved by a woman, becomes the basis of a strong union, as the man begins to appreciate her more.

When starting a relationship with the man she likes, a girl sees him not just as a partner, but as a life partner. The development of relationships involves several stages. First, there is mutual sympathy and a desire to spend all your free time together, then - the desire to live together and enter into a legal marriage, and then - children, work, everyday life... You can simply enjoy the relationship, but no one knows how long it will last, so some attention is required and a detailed approach to every life situation.

In every relationship there comes a moment when the transition from romantic passion to gray everyday life and everyday life inevitably approaches. The monotony of everyday problems and worries should not overshadow the joy of the presence of a loved one. Even if he smiles less or doesn’t spend as much time walking, this does not mean that he no longer has warm feelings in his soul, because there are many reasons for such behavior.

At the moment of acquaintance between young people, inexplicable physiological and psychological reactions occur. Depending on temperament and psychotype, the first manifestations may be different. Some experience wild passion and attraction, some do not leave each other for a minute, afraid of losing tactile sensation, some maintain constant communication, etc.

Every man is by nature a breadwinner and a conqueror. At the beginning of the relationship, he begins to actively court and make many pleasant and unexpected surprises. Usually all this lasts exactly until he understands that the chosen one is completely in his favor. Then he cools down and again begins to devote more time to work or friends, or maybe even rush to look for new experiences with another girl.

The bright and emotionally intense stage lasts no more than six months, then the girl begins to think that the guy has cooled down. An interested young lady is still waiting for something new or the same attention and sparkling eyes. Here it is important to understand the true reason for the change in emotions. The young man is not always disappointed and looks for a reason to end the relationship. In this case, a lot depends on the woman.

Living together is not only romance, but also everyday life. All concerns, financial issues and interests of each partner become common. Disappointment usually awaits those who are not ready for this important step. New sensations quickly pass, and a lot of common problems arise. The guy, now a husband, begins to worry about his financial well-being, throws himself into work and strives to provide his family with everything they need. At this stage, much more demands are also placed on a girl, because home comfort, cleanliness, order and cooking require not only time, but also certain skills.

Domestic needs begin to put pressure on romance. The husband begins to show less and less attention, and there is also an explanation for this, because he is tired at work, he wants warmth and support from his loving wife. But it’s also difficult for my wife, since she usually combines both work and household chores. Excessive suspiciousness and demandingness of women lead relationships to a dead end. It is important to show wisdom and not go to extremes.

Every person has the right to their own opinion and personal space. You cannot limit each other in something very important, because any limits can provoke alienation and a desire to get rid of them. It is difficult to regain lost feelings and restore relationships, so it is important to respond to any emotional changes in your partner.

Maximum attention and observation will help answer the question of what exactly happened. Knowing the cause, it is much easier to deal with the problem without allowing critical situations to occur.

There are many opinions about long-distance love, but they are divided into two main groups. Some say that this is impossible, others are sure that even tens of kilometers are not a hindrance to true love. There is truth in both cases, because everything is individual and depends on the specific situation. The reason for separation may be a business trip, rotational work, or military service.

Sometimes work requires the spouse to move to another city or even country. The desire to earn good money is not a vice, so you should not treat separation negatively. If you get the feeling that a guy has lost his temper while on a long business trip or on shift, then it is important to understand that he works there. Lack of attention is easily explained by fatigue and busyness.

Having dared to take a step to wait for your loved one from the army, you should understand that it will not be very easy. It will take a lot of patience, and at all costs you need to show maximum support, care and understanding. You can convey your feelings to him with the help of words of love and tenderness; he should know that they are waiting for him at home. Real problems may arise when he returns, because it will definitely not be the same as before. The army greatly changes your character and attitude towards life.

Whatever the reason for leaving, you should not sort things out at a distance. A spoken word, especially a rude or harsh one, will put an end to the relationship. After all, if it’s hard for him, and a loved one only adds to his worries, then he will have a reasonable question whether the girl has feelings, and whether he wants them to continue.

Once an attraction arises, it is only a consequence of the first impression. In the process of the relationship, a specific image of the chosen one is formed, true desires again come to the fore, and the relationship takes on a different development, as a result of which the girl understands that the guy has cooled off. The most common reasons may be the following:

• the guy saw shortcomings that contradicted his worldview and did not meet his expectations (smoking, addiction to alcohol, dissolute lifestyle, etc.);
• the girl behaves rudely, does not take his opinion into account, tries to humiliate him, uses obscene language towards him;
• he feels a restriction of freedom, the girl is constantly trying to absorb all his consciousness, attention and time;
• there is an understanding that he is not heard and is not given due attention;
• the man understands that he and the woman have different views on life and great differences in character;
• he gets very tired at work or has difficulty communicating with her;
• the guy is hiding something very important to him, afraid to open up to his chosen one;
• the illusions he has built in relation to a woman are not confirmed in reality;
• other interests and hobbies appeared, another woman.

Most women think that the worst thing is having a mistress. But in practice, coping with this problem is not as difficult as dealing with a husband’s disappointment in his life partner. Just one situation, a woman’s behavior and attitude towards a particular event can cancel out all the positive things in a man’s perception. As for betrayal, the most difficult thing is to overcome the feeling of resentment and betrayal. You can return attention by understanding the reason for going “to the left.”

Cooled feelings can be revived with attention, care and support. Often women are too selfish and demand much more than they can get. This can be understood if the guy has cooled down, but does not quit, is not in a hurry to put an end to it, but behaves as usual.

The best way to find out about his feelings is to ask directly or try to have an open conversation. A man can also have worries and doubts, and he can also experience temporary difficulties. You don’t always need to demand an answer and start conversations; you shouldn’t do this after a hard day at work or at a distance. The feeling that a man has grown cold usually occurs on an intuitive level. By telling him about your guesses, you can sow doubts in him and make him think about it. Perhaps there was no objective reason for concern, but after this conversation he will have food for thought.

• The decrease in attention is manifested in the fact that the guy began to call less, stopped writing messages, and looked for a reason to meet. He stopped showering him with compliments, giving flowers and gifts. This means that the relationship is moving to a new stage, and he simply does not consider it necessary to spend joint money on pleasant little things. Most likely, personal problems have appeared and work has increased.
• A man stops showing desire and attraction for several reasons: he’s tired of everyday life and wants something new; the woman stopped taking care of herself and lost her former attractiveness; he gets very tired; experiencing health problems.
• Signs of indifference appeared. He reacts indifferently to a woman’s flirting and attention to her from other men, is not interested in anything together, and looks for entertainment on the side with friends and colleagues. It is worth understanding whether he is disappointed in the actions, relationships and behavior of the girl, because there is nothing worse than indifference. In this case, it is most difficult to restore lost feelings.
• Strives for freedom. If a man constantly strives to break free, and it doesn’t matter to him where exactly, most likely the reason is in a woman. Perhaps excessive attention and the desire to spend all his free time together depresses him and deprives him of personal space.
• Became irritable and does not talk about the future. In this situation, it is worth thinking about his mood and current affairs. Guys who are strong in spirit and character always try to hide problems from their chosen ones, thereby protecting them from worries. His irritation and frequent bad mood do not always indicate a bad streak in a relationship; you just need to be there, supporting him and distracting him from work and other matters. Having problems at work or with close relatives, it is very difficult to make plans for the future.

If desired, every woman is able to awaken in herself those emotions that can unbalance even the most callous man, forcing him to do everything as only she pleases.

If your beloved man has lost interest, you should not immediately take action, try to find out something and talk, trying to bring your chosen one to the “clean water”. A few days of personal detachment from the situation will help you weigh everything and understand whether there really is a problem. You need to understand how long ago the partner’s cooling began and what it is connected with. Perhaps the meaning of continuing this relationship has been lost, and a real attempt to change everything would be only a complete cessation of all joint affairs and any communication.

The following methods will help renew the relationship and regain the interest of your loved one.

1. 1. Frank conversation. Having collected the required number of arguments, you can call the guy for a dialogue. Complete denial of the problem indicates a reluctance to share experiences or a lack of awareness on his part. Pretentious irritability and aggression indicate an unwillingness to be in this relationship. If the conversation turned out to be sincere, then you need to listen to all the words and requests. If he says that time is needed, you need to give it, criticizes behavior and expresses dissatisfaction, there is no need to be offended and take everything literally, it is better to listen and try to find a compromise.
2. 2. General hobby. It’s good if the interests are similar and the couple once had a tradition of going to the cinema or skating rink together. Then it’s enough to resume everything by presenting a surprise in the form of tickets to the long-awaited premiere. If you don’t have a common hobby, you need to build on his interests. Fishing or football will be a great way to while away an evening or weekend.
3. 3. Envelop with care and attention. Simple kind and affectionate words are lost in the process of living together. People stop wishing for a good night and a good day; everything happens automatically. A smile in the morning and a warm hug at night can work wonders. At first he will be confused by surprise, but after a short time he will get used to it and reciprocate.
4. 4. Interest in his affairs. Showing maximum interest in his work or hobby does not mean being intrusive. The guy lacks interest in his affairs, he wants to share something, or he simply needs support when changing activities or moving to a new position. You cannot understand a person until you know how he lives and what he thinks about. Perhaps he has cooled down precisely because he is preparing for a new presentation, and he is receiving due support from an attractive work colleague, who in the future can replace his wife.
5. 5. Pleasant little things. A note in a wallet, hourly messages with jokes or declarations of love, a photo in a purse or a banal declaration of feelings on the bathroom mirror, written with toothpaste, will bring the husband back to the family. At a minimum, he will think about why all this happened and why it is necessary. There is no need to explain anything, you need to put on a mysterious smile and move on. He will join this exciting game and also want to do something nice.
6. 6. Joint recreation. A change of scenery, a relaxed atmosphere, the absence of children, relatives and work will help you take your mind off things. You need to choose the desired tour, because someone wants to sleep off and relax together in bed, and someone is ready to dance and have fun until dawn or wants to see new beautiful places and get a boost of energy for the coming working year. Vacation really helps to bring back passion and attention from your beloved husband.
7. 7. New rules and traditions. If every new day is similar to the previous one, it's time to change everything. A good option would be to go out to a restaurant or cafe together on Saturdays; every week you need to visit a new establishment, choosing one by one or by lottery type. Once a month you can try something new or buy a necessary item for your home. Choosing an action or subject will encourage communication and general interest, and after that you can share your impressions for some time.
8. 8. Joint business. Any joint business strengthens the relationship. Even such a problematic and troublesome renovation of an apartment will help save feelings, the main thing is to take advantage of the situation and do everything together.
9. 9. Intimate life. Sex is key for many men; it is worth listening to his needs and desires. If his experiments in bed are unacceptable for a girl, then such a relationship should be stopped. After all, without receiving them in a legal marriage, sooner or later he will find what he needs on the side. It's like a ticking time bomb, where the relationship is doomed to betrayal. If intimate interests are compatible, it's time to experiment. A romantic dinner with a spectacular continuation, sex in an unusual place or a game of Kama Sutra will bring a lot of positive emotions. In a fit of passion, people come closer, they seem to open up to each other, and psychological attachment strengthens. Psychologists with extensive experience always begin searching for problems with violations in the intimate sphere. Physiological reasons caused by the lack of sexual relations cannot be excluded, because sex changes hormonal levels.
10. 10. Check by distance. Having gone away for a while, you can renew the relationship, but there is also a huge risk of losing everything. You can resort to this method only when nothing else helps. and the question of continuing the relationship came to a head. There is no need to run away from problems, if a man needs support, you should not abandon him under any circumstances. A loving person will be bored, and upon his return, his suffering from separation will not be able to be hidden, but an indifferent person will even be happy and try to bring the relationship to naught during his absence.

Romance and passion should be present in a couple throughout life, but they also have their own degree of expression and gradation. It is almost impossible to carry the initial emotions, tightness and trembling in the chest through the years, because every life situation reveals the personality and exposes the essence of a person. The only thing that will help maintain respect and strengthen feelings is the ability to carry the first emotions in the soul throughout life and not lose self-esteem, no matter what happens.

feelcontrol.net

What to do, how to return cooled feelings?

If you want to return what was, return it using these simple rules:

Reminisce often about wonderful moments from your past.

Repeat in reality everything that you liked before until your feelings cool down.

Believe that you can return your feelings.

It's all quite simple, of course. Perhaps even! The main thing is to be sure that it is necessary. And not one person, but two and with equal strength! Otherwise... - all efforts will fall into empty emptiness.

Stop! Another option! - Start a new life...

With the person because of whom your feelings for your former “beau” have cooled. You will hurt him, but do not sacrifice yourself to the man. A smart person will understand and forgive. I don’t want to offend you, but you are not the only woman on planet Earth, after all!

• In general, it’s selfish to think so, but it’s good that it happened to you and not to him...

If his feelings for you cooled down, everything would become complicated in an instant! Men think and reason differently than women. A man, when he feels that the feeling is disappearing, does not understand anything at all, but begins to look for a replacement. He does not stand on ceremony about the condition of the girl whom he will leave for another.

Where are you now?

Probably in the room with a laptop or computer. Doesn't matter. Briefly speaking…. Wherever you are now, run to the kitchen! You need this “escape” solely for the sake of a few simple movements….

Haven't guessed which ones yet?

Turn on the kettle! Or put it on the stove if you don't have an electric one. I need to make some coffee and calm down... I can imagine what a labyrinth they are!

And the labyrinth of thoughts must be neutralized so as not to be an obstacle in important decision-making!

If you don't drink coffee, make tea. The meaning will not change one bit if you “change” the drink you prepare. Are you ready? Enjoy your coffee (tea)! Give your thoughts a rest while you drink the prepared “sedative”...

What to do if a guy falls out of love?

Summary of the article:

In a psychologist’s office, in the company of friends, on fashionable women’s forums, the question is often heard: “What to do if a guy has grown cold?” Every girl has a different opinion on this matter. Someone came to this conclusion because the guy came home from work several hours late, didn’t pick up the phone on time, and so on. And some girls decided that their man had grown cold because he stopped giving gifts and paying attention. The reasons for such thoughts may be different, however, if the relationship has ceased to be the same, then you need to quickly take action.

What to do if the guy has cooled down?

If the guy has really cooled down, it means your relationship has begun to turn into a boring and monotonous routine. You need to add a few sparkles to them so that everything falls into place again:

• Any self-respecting man cannot calmly react to competition. If other men pay increased attention to his girlfriend, then he will not be able to remain indifferent and will begin to hold on to his soul mate again. You just need to hint to him that he is not the only man who is interested in you;
• Don't be intrusive and ask a lot of questions about changes in relationships. It’s better to forget about this problem for at least a short time and pay attention to yourself;
• A great way to get your relationship back on track is to take a break from each other. Arrange a week of living separately, during this period you will begin to miss each other and you will have a lot of new topics for conversation.

Perhaps there is some specific reason why the guy has lost interest in you. You can only find out through a personal conversation with him.

Below is a video in which the famous psychologist Rita Makarova will explain how to understand that a guy’s feelings for you have cooled and will give some useful tips:

Signs that a guy has fallen out of love

It’s a pity that you can’t find out, at least for a few minutes, what’s going on in your other half’s head. Then it would be possible to understand whether he loves, whether he is cheating and what he is hiding from you. But fortunately, there are several signs by which you can understand a man’s behavior. For example, has he stopped loving his girlfriend or does he still have the same feelings for her?

5 signs that a guy has fallen out of love:

Reasons why feelings fade

Feelings, passion, love, how I would like these feelings to be present forever. But, unfortunately, over time they fade away, the guy begins to pay less attention and there are several reasons for this:

• You look worse. Once upon a time, before a date, you spent a long time in front of the mirror, dressed in your best clothes and applied sexy makeup. And now, a man sees you every day in a dressing gown and slippers. No matter what men say, they still love with their eyes and the lack of an attractive appearance can negatively affect the relationship;
• Everyone, even the most modest man, is a hunter at heart. He may get tired of one woman, there is a possibility that he will want to catch new prey. To prevent a relationship from cooling down, you must always remain an unread book for your loved one;
• Another reason why feelings fade is constant conflicts. Swear only for good reasons, keep minor domestic quarrels to a minimum.

Feelings can cool down for various reasons, they can even fade away on their own. If this happens, then you need to take measures to save the relationship.

How to renew tremulous feelings?

You can take measures to save the relationship only if the man has stopped paying attention to you, giving you compliments, you have fewer common topics of conversation, the amount of sex life has decreased, and other drastic changes in the relationship have appeared. In this case, you need to start taking the initiative to keep the man.

1. Don’t throw hysterics, don’t try to find out why this happened, don’t torture him with interrogations. This will push him away from you even more. On the contrary, behave as cold-bloodedly and selfishly as possible, so that he already begins to think that he can lose you;
2. Try to find out the reason for the cooling of the relationship and try to fix it yourself. If this happened because of conflicts, then you need to learn to cope with your emotions, if because of your appearance, then it is recommended to start paying attention to yourself, and so on;
3. It is necessary to stop constantly nagging your husband, reminding him of his past mistakes and trying to change his character. On the contrary, always be positive, cheerful and smiling; no one leaves such wives.

Even the most seemingly difficult relationships can be changed for the better if you try to put a little effort into it.

If the guy himself admitted that his feelings went away

One of the most unpleasant situations is when the guy himself admitted that he no longer has feelings for his soulmate. In fact, this is a very worthy act, because he did not cheat, did not betray you, he remained sincere with you to the end.

In such a situation, you need to find out whether your relationship will last or whether you should retreat. You should also ask about the reason why this result appeared, this will help you avoid mistakes in relationships with other men.

If he decides to break up, then you shouldn’t cry, humiliate yourself and impose yourself. No matter how much you love him, accept this challenge with dignity and let him go.

How to let him go forever?

To understand what to do if a guy has lost interest, it is better for a girl to think in advance about how she will live without him. After a breakup, you need to let him go from you as soon as possible, make him leave your heart, thoughts and memories. This is quite difficult to do, but it is possible:

1. First of all, limit all meetings with him. Don't look for excuses like a forgotten toothbrush or a photo together. You must behave as if this person does not exist for you and has never existed before.
2. Don't be alone, always be surrounded by friends and relatives, this will help you forget.
3. Suppress the desire to call or write to him. No matter how strong the love, you can let go of a person whose feelings for you have cooled.

It is important to endure this pain and the desire to return everything back in the first month, and then it will be easier to learn to live without him.

Video: psychologists about cold feelings

In this video, psychologist Irina Matveenko will tell you what you can do if a guy has lost interest in you, and what ways you can restore faded feelings:

1-vopros.ru

Girls' comments about cooled feelings

Eleanor (19 years old): Say goodbye to old feelings if they decide to cool down! Open the way to new feelings. There is no need to be afraid to change anything in life. That's what I would do!

Daria (23 years old): If you love, rekindle, return feelings. If you don’t love, know how to let go so as not to torment your former loved one! But I want to say that there are no former loved ones. Love cannot cool down without a reason! Maybe it seemed to you? Look it over again. This is how it is necessary... and don’t you dare resist!

Samantha (33 years old): How familiar all this is to me…. I remember when I was seventeen... But it all started a day before. I dated a guy (and am still dating)… for a long time. And here he is! All this glamorous guy is handsome. I liked him so much that I instantly decided to destroy my previous relationship. I was already planning to tell Andryukha (my boyfriend) that we were breaking up. The words “composed”…. It began to seem to me that I had stopped loving Andrei. At first it was scary for me to think like that. Then I began to reassure myself that I took love as a habit... My birthday has arrived... Andryushka gave me a huge bouquet of roses and perfume, which I had long dreamed of. He congratulated me so much that I burst into tears... It dawned on me what a huge mistake I was making! It’s so good that I managed to come to my senses. Girls, do not make “sharp” turns. You may regret it and not correct what you have done.

Veronica (17 years old): What to do when feelings cool down? - To figure out whether those feelings are real. Anything is possible, anything happens! Confusing feelings is real. If you are sure that you had feelings, but have drifted away, start thinking about taking action. Decide exactly how your life will be easier. If you lack those feelings that have cooled down, return them! If you understand that you are fine without them, little by little let go of what you used to feel. That's the only way I would do it! Hard? It would be hard anyway! Feelings are something that are not always permanent. But if you valued them, return them! Never give it to anyone! Fight if you have to! What is real comes only once... This should be appreciated! The way you appreciate the most significant moments of your life. Love…. She is one!

Question for a psychologist:

Hello. I am a girl, 21 years old. Single. Have no children. There is a young man.

I started dating a young man 2.5 years ago. This is my first and only relationship. He is 7 years older than me. Before that, we had known each other for another 5 years, since he was a family friend, but at that time we practically did not communicate. We started dating after the new year. Everything was fine for a month, and then we quarreled. It was March 8th, he went to choose gifts. There was a phone call. It ended with my boyfriend jokingly saying that he might not come, I told him that he might not come. I was very angry. He finally arrived. I opened it for him and went into the room. She didn't even bother talking to him. He put a gift on my bed (a computer mouse), drank some tea (thanks to my mom for putting the kettle on), called someone and left. In this quarrel, I feel guilty about myself, because I could have resolved the conflict, talked to him peacefully, and not pretended to be an offended princess.

That evening I wrote to him asking if we would make peace. He replied no. And he said that he went to see his ex-girlfriend, but there was no bed with her, but the very fact that he left me for another is important. I was very hurt. Perhaps the fact that my ideas about relationships were then quite idealistic and not very realistic played a role in this quarrel. I thought that a girl should be treated gently and carefully and tolerate all her whims.

After that we finally made peace. Immediately two days later the first intimacy happened. Now I think that maybe I just wanted to keep him.

And then wild jealousy began on my part. He continued to communicate with his ex-girlfriend, I was very jealous, looked through his correspondence on VKontakte, his phone number and spoke out for everything. Once he congratulated his ex-girlfriend on her birthday and wrote that he hugged her tightly. I made a scandal. I was even jealous of the girls on the subway. And she couldn’t do anything about her jealousy. I felt terrible about it.

But at the same time, my young man, seeing my jealousy, added fuel to the fire. Seeing some girl he hummed meaningfully. Then I saw pictures of all his ex-girlfriends on the computer, there was a fairly fat girl, not chubby, but fat. And he said that this girl was beautifully plump. And he always told me about my belly, although I am much smaller in volume. In general, this also made me wildly angry. And there were quite a lot of such moments. At the moments of my worries, my boyfriend waved his hand at me and did not try to calm me down. Yes, I think I was largely to blame. But still I wanted to be consoled at least once. I felt lonely in a relationship.

After a year of our relationship, we started living together, and over the next period of time I lost all my friends. Because she spent time only with him, after college she ran home to cook him something to eat. And so almost the whole year.

During the two years of our relationship, we broke up a lot, five times. My mood began to plummet. I was almost always in a bad mood and irritated. Our relationship began to fade, intimacy became much less, for the young man it became like a job, and for me too. My self-esteem has dropped. Before this new year, we decided to break up because nothing happened in our life together, the feelings disappeared.

After our parting, I felt relief, like a weight off my shoulders. He, as he later said, experienced the same thing. Four months later, I started communicating with a guy from work (I work part-time as a controller at a stadium), he is 24 years old. It didn’t come to a relationship, but I still had feelings for him.

Soon she got back together with her ex-boyfriend. We often saw him at the dacha, since he is a family friend and therefore we are always happy to see him. I felt a feeling of melancholy, and there was a feeling that I was largely to blame, that he was good, that I just wanted a lot from him. But all the same, now we have come to approximately the same thing as before. Although he became more attentive in many matters, he became softer. Does a lot for me. But I don’t feel anything and I’m no longer jealous of him. Now, in general, I don’t care who he’s with, who he’s looking at. I also started talking to that guy from work again. I like him, we're talking on the phone now. Haven't been on a date yet. I feel like I'm cheating both of them. But I can’t leave my boyfriend, I feel guilty that he didn’t deserve this. But I have no feelings, I can’t have sex with him, I feel spoiled.

The guy fell out of love, abandoned him, feelings cooled down. Is it possible to return it somehow?

• Doctor online Krasnodar
• Psychology

Hello. I dated a guy for 4 months, 3 of them everything was perfect. yes, the time is short. but during these few months that we were together, we became very close, I fell in love and opened up to him. he introduced me to his parents. made plans for how we would live together after passing the exam. There were no quarrels as such, everything was peaceful. One evening we walked, everything was fine. the next week he changed, brought him out for a conversation, and said that he had cooled down. For three weeks we tried to improve our relationship, but in the end we realized that it was hopeless. Yesterday we broke up, he said that he didn’t love me, that he didn’t see any point in dating anymore. he was very decisive and destroyed all the bridges in one moment. There is no talk of betrayal. says he feels guilty. And I just don’t know what to do. I understand that I must forget, but I don’t want to and can’t. I really believe that we will be together, I believe in our relationship. I said that I love him, but I’m not the kind of person who can easily say such loud words to just anyone. But I understand, and he himself says, that nothing will change. But there is a hope that I cannot overcome, although I understand that it is stupid. I can’t part with him.

Patient age: 19 years

Psychology online: Online question On this issue, consultation is carried out by practicing doctors and is given for informational purposes only. Based on the results of the consultation received, please consult a doctor, including to identify possible contraindications. If possible, be prepared to answer additional questions from the doctor. Otherwise, the consultation will be given on the basis of the information specified in the question and will be more speculative. Do not self-medicate; consultation does not replace an in-person examination by a doctor. Answers from doctors Invite an expert

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