What is happiness?
Happiness is a special state of a person’s soul, corresponding to the highest level of internal satisfaction with one’s life, completeness and finding the meaning of life, as well as the fulfillment of one’s social duty. This is a kind of transitional stage between one event and a more pleasant occasion. At the moment, there is no known universal formula for how to become happy and loved. For this, a woman needs to do a lot of work and go through a rather thorny path.
Happiness is in you
The feeling of happiness, like self-confidence, cannot be obtained from the outside. No one can make another happy. Happiness “grows” only from within. To feel comfortable and harmonious, accept yourself as you are - with all your shortcomings and imperfections. Learn not only to internally blame yourself, but also to defend yourself, don’t be afraid to make mistakes and try to do something for yourself every day. It is not circumstances that make a person happy, but the ability to rejoice in what is. Therefore: do not chase happiness. It is always within yourself.
Three physiological pillars of happiness
There is no doubt that happiness carries a deep moral and spiritual meaning. But what representative of the fair sex can enjoy life when she doesn’t love herself? Therefore, it is worth paying attention to the following points:
Healthy Diet
- Firstly, when eating exclusively healthy food, a feeling of lightness appears in the body. Secondly, the vitamins and minerals found in fruits and vegetables strengthen the immune and cardiovascular systems, which will protect against the development of depression.
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Physical exercise
- We are not talking about regular visits to the gym, fitness training, etc. This is what my soul is about. For example, dancing, walking, running, boxing - everything that brings pleasure.
Rejection of bad habits
- The fact that alcohol liberates, cigarettes relax, and drugs provide a new source of inspiration is a temporary illusion, after which it is very difficult to get used to the real world.
When getting your body in shape and stabilizing your health, you must simultaneously pay attention to the mental, spiritual and emotional sides. “A healthy mind in a healthy body” - and nothing else.
Three dimensions of happiness
At any given time, you will habitually care about three things: the past, the present and the future. If some trouble happened to you yesterday, then today you will be nervous, thinking about yesterday. You will feel even worse when you think about what consequences yesterday's incident will lead to in the future. Isn’t it true that this is exactly what always happens with us?
At any given time, our mood determines our past, the feelings that possess us today and our expectations regarding our future. People who are always worried about something or who are afraid of the future rarely experience happiness, because two of the three components are calmness today and an optimistic view of the future.
If, for example, you had to harshly criticize someone you know one day, then the next day you will not be able to feel happy because you will be worried about the impact of your critical comment. In this case, happiness is absent due to concerns about the past, which is the third dimension of true happiness. This conclusion can be drawn from our observations of children.
Simple and effective tips
The internal state depends not only on positive thinking and sports training, but also on the world around us. To find happiness and maintain this state, you need to establish harmony in the external and internal worlds. Therefore, it is proposed to review several recommendations in this regard:
- Put things in order in your locker, throw out trash from the apartment, remove excess papers in the office. It is difficult to look at the world optimistically when there is chaos all around.
- Find yourself in creativity. Women not only protect their home and create warmth in the house. By nature, the fair sex can be compared to creators. In this case, there is room to expand: drawing, cooking, writing poetry, acting in the theater, music, etc.
- Find joy in the little things. You just have to remember that feeling when you open a bottle of wine under the moon on the beach with your friends and loved one: romance, fun, happiness.
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- Don't be afraid to praise yourself for your achievements.
- Learn to say no. There is no need to pretend to be a person “always ready to help” (especially when you have enough worries of your own). A sense of responsibility and duty very quickly kills joy and saturates life with worries and fears.
- “Thoughts materialize” - you can’t always complain about fate and the fact that nothing changes. Happiness is always nearby, and it smiles only on those who want to let it in. Tune in positively from the very morning, and a cheerful spirit will instantly bring sweet sensations.
- Replace communication on the phone with real meetings, and it will bring much more pleasure and benefit. Data from many studies have shown that people who regularly use the Internet and social networks are much more likely to experience sadness, stress and depression. In addition, simple walks in the park, by the lake, on the seashore or along the avenues will delight you with aesthetic landscapes, and clean air will saturate the body with oxygen.
- Eliminating negative emotions is an important stage in becoming a happy woman. It is necessary to find a suitable channel where all the negativity will go. Usually, all the anger and sadness result in creative activity. But it could be walking, talking with a close friend, or listening to your favorite music.
- Defining the goal and achieving it. A busy person simply does not have enough time for suffering and sadness. Therefore, you need to sit down and concentrate on your desires and dreams. Visually display this in a planner, presentation, or painting, whatever you like. Then confidently go towards the written goals for the meeting.
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Healthy eating, healthy habits, favorite activities - but nothing brings as much happiness as love. Hugs, kisses, compliments, gifts with love ensure harmony of soul and body. Love, be loved and enjoy every minute of your life!
How to become happy, loved and successful?
One is not born a woman, one becomes one. Simone de Beauvoir
Don't listen to anyone who tells you that you are unworthy. They don't deserve to be happy. Unworthy to become successful. Unworthy to become Beloved. You are unworthy for your man to love you, carry you in his arms, give flowers, give compliments, provide for your family.
The list of “I’m not worthy” can be written endlessly. Besides, every woman has her own “I’m not worthy” points. And it is precisely these points that often underlie unfulfilled desires for personal happiness, family happiness, wealth and success.
It is these points that underlie resentment towards men or general disappointment from communicating with men. It is these points, instilled in one way or another in many women from childhood, that often conceal the cause of unfulfilled hopes, disappointments and resentments. It is these points that do not allow you to feel like a happy woman. After all, how can we become happy if we have been suppressed since childhood?
Let's look at a couple of examples of how and where this comes from.
There are families in which girls are openly taught from an early age that they are incapable of anything, thus suppressing their childish playfulness and joy and controlling boundaries.
In such families they say: “Sit quietly, don’t stick your head out, be silent. No one gave you a word,” “If you behave like this, you will be punished.”
There are families where children are raised to be critical and aggressive. In such families they say simply and frankly: “Why don’t you understand anything? What are you, a fool?”, “Why would anyone need you like that? No one will marry someone like that.”
Always say “love” and “thank you” to yourself. Praise yourself - don’t entrust such a responsible task to strangers. Max Fry
Perhaps the parents are trying in this strange way to get the child to change his behavior, do better at school, not be naughty, and be unconditionally submissive. But the result is the opposite.
There are many examples of upbringing when girls develop low self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness from childhood. Or the girl grows up and begins to subconsciously take revenge on her parents and actually behave in a similar way.
Or, even if she doesn’t do something out of spite, doesn’t try to prove anything to her relatives, then in her life everything often seems to be falling apart. It seems like normal guys meet, get to know each other, and even start living together, but for some reason after a while they all disappear somewhere. Problems often arise with work. A girl, or already a woman, is so unsure of herself that she can be quite conflictual and aggressive, which does not have a very positive effect on work and relationships.
Or the girl grows up withdrawn and eternally unhappy, which, as you understand, also negatively affects relationships with men and all attempts to live happily and successfully.
Often such women are so insecure that they get married and tolerate the behavior of less than adequate men. What kind of happiness can we talk about here?
And most importantly, is it possible to change at least something in your life? Is it possible to get rid of the thoughts and images instilled in childhood about how “bad, unsuccessful, unhappy, unworthy” you are?
You can and should get rid of it! Otherwise, you will never realize your desires and dreams. It is getting rid of negative beliefs that releases energy that will help you become happy, loved, rich and successful.
After all, what are children's complexes: low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, as a result, isolation, aggression and strong resentment towards your parents, towards the people around you for not appreciating you. And often on men, because a woman who lacks self-confidence usually has big problems in relationships with men. And the expectation that you will be saved, so unhappy.
If you don't love yourself very well, you will find it difficult to love anyone else because you will resent how much time and energy you give to another person that you don't even give to yourself. Barbara De Angelis
All these grievances about life, complexes, the feeling that no one needs you, you spend a colossal amount of energy on them. And the more such unresolved internal problems there are, accordingly, the less and less energy you have left. After all, over the years, all these negative beliefs and programs, unfortunately, do not disappear, but only accumulate and find confirmation in external life.
For example, if a woman considers herself unworthy of a normal man and a happy family relationship, then she will meet, to put it mildly, not always decent men on her way. She herself attracts them. Thus, the belief instilled in her from childhood finds confirmation.
If you understand how to release energy and direct it in a constructive direction, you will no longer want to harbor so much resentment, disappointment, aggression and bitterness towards life. You will begin to forgive and accept yourself, and, of course, you will begin to increase your own self-esteem and get rid of negative beliefs about yourself.
And where there are no offenses, there is lightness and calm. And where there is lightness and tranquility, there is a place for happiness. You don’t seem to notice negative events, as if you let them pass through you. The more lightness and calmness you have, the easier it is for you to focus on what you can do and develop your abilities.
You really need to look inside yourself and find your inner strength and say, “I'm proud of who I am and who I am, and I just want to be me.” Mariah Carey
Where there is no low self-esteem, there is a feeling of confidence and inner satisfaction with oneself and life. And where there is confidence, there is personal happiness, a happy family life, success in work and creativity, and good relationships with other people.
When you want something, you begin to strive for it, take the first steps, and the Universe seems to open doors for you, show you the way, arrange “random” meetings and arrange “coincidences.”
Now let's move on to working through the feeling “I am unworthy” to “I am worthy of happiness, love, success and everything I want”:
- Decide what you will work with, what is most relevant to you at the moment.
- Start analyzing yourself and your childhood. Remember what you were told and how your parents lived. Unconsciously we live, often copying the behavior and life of our parents. Plus the suggested “you are unworthy.”
I am alone, there will be no other.
Practice “I am worthy of happiness, love, success and everything I want”
Accustom yourself to a ritual, starting in the morning and evening, when you brush your teeth and take a shower, take a couple of minutes, look carefully at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself: “I am worthy. I'm worthy. I deserve the best." Close your eyes and repeat this phrase to yourself several times.
If you have never exercised before, then most likely you will “suddenly remember” that you need to go somewhere urgently. Stay for a while, don't go anywhere. You are simply scared and unusual to say good words to yourself, to say and let in the thought that “You are worthy.”
Open your eyes and say to yourself out loud for the second time: “I am worthy...”
If you are working on relationships with men, then say “I am worthy of a good relationship and love.” If for happiness, then “I am worthy of happiness.” If for wealth, then say “I am worthy of wealth.” If you are working for success, say “I am worthy of success.”
Close your eyes again and imagine for a few seconds what you deserve. Let it really be for a few seconds. The main thing is to start, increasing your practice time by a minute every day.
I looked in the mirror and felt shame, but now I look in the mirror and love myself very much. Drew Barrymore
Do the same exercise in front of the mirror in the evening before going to bed. We brushed our teeth, took a shower, looked at ourselves in the mirror and within a few minutes said to ourselves: “I deserve the best (or this and that).”
After that, you closed your eyes and imagined what you would become, or how a man would treat you, or what islands you would go to. Or what is this feeling, happiness and success? And how happy you will be.
This exercise is effective, and not as easy as it seems at first glance. The exercise has shown excellent results repeatedly in many women.
Until now, if I feel that something is preventing the realization of a particular goal, I begin to analyze whether I have a feeling of unworthiness? As a rule, a couple of months of affirmation that I am worthy of this and that removes internal fears, beliefs, and releases the necessary amount of energy to implement my plans.
Do the exercise and you will see how your life will change!
With love, your Angela Lozyan
Analysis of your time
Your daily routine directly affects your general condition and how you feel throughout the day.
Experts recommend a simple method for analyzing your day. Take a notepad or piece of paper and a pen. Write down every action and the time allocated for it throughout the day. This also applies to hanging out on social networks for a minute. In the evening you can see how much time is wasted. But these hours could have been devoted to loved ones or self-development.
Happiness every day
Unhappy people sincerely wait for some event to happen in order to begin to enjoy life. For some it’s a promotion, for others it’s a day off or a significant date. Only after this lifestyle is ingrained into the subconscious, they begin to analyze and think about how to feel happy every day.
There is a simple way. You need to make a list of those skills and abilities that work best and bring pleasure. For example, let it be drawing or origami. The main thing is that these tasks are not very difficult, otherwise they will cause a feeling of excitement.
You need to do these things every day. If completing a task requires a lot of time, which is not available, then it can be divided into several stages. It is important to regularly perform activities that bring pleasure. Then every day will be happy.
About dissatisfaction
Problems, illusions, unrealistic expectations, fears, lack of faith... In society, there are specific ideas about how to live correctly. Society presents us with its values and actively seeks to interest us in them: you need to be ambitious and successful, get an education, get married, be faithful and have children. We act according to social expectations, as if according to ready-made instructions, and for many this actually makes life easier. But do we realize that this is just one of the possible life stories in which society is vitally interested? But what if this option does not at all correspond to your inner desires? Imagine that you are trying, you are an excellent student, but there is still no internal satisfaction - which means that the “road to heaven” is closed.
Decide for yourself whether you should blindly trust social values. Maybe it’s safer to learn to track the programs of social expectations, but still do things your own way?
Avoid mindless consumption
When you're alone, you have an incredible opportunity to think about your life and the direction you should take. Are you truly happy and fulfilled? Should you continue doing what you are doing? Or do you feel unsatisfied? Should you change something?
Only you can answer these questions. If instead you fill your life with mindless consumption—TV, movies, Internet surfing—then you will never be able to answer them clearly.
Take on a dead-end project
When you work in a team, there is a lot of pressure on you to meet established standards. In my opinion, this is a terrible way to create something important and truly meaningful.
When you are alone, you can take up any task that you like. Use this freedom to your advantage.
An important part of life is doing what everyone thinks is unwise or impractical. Think about the weirdest thing you've ever wanted to do, and then take a small step towards making it happen. This is something you do solely for yourself.
About difference from others
All herd animals realize themselves in a seemingly similar way: they organize and defend their territory, create pairs and adapt to a new habitat.
But Homo Sapiens is so far the only species capable of self-reflection, that is, the ability to look at oneself from the outside. Unlike cats and hamsters, we can ask ourselves at any time: “Why, out of many worries, do we choose this one, consciously changing the line of our behavior?” Therefore, the life of each of us is a unique story about how we managed (or not quite) to create for ourselves a situation of “life paradise”, that is, to obtain the level of comfort in life that we internally claim.
About idealism
During socialization, the research, creative beginning from the first days of life enters the space of our inner world and does not allow us to calm down. We constantly strive to achieve perfection, we search and hope to find what we want to see and perceive as a certain ideal. This is how higher needs are formed - what really distinguishes us from the rest of the living world.
The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates believed that “the unexamined life is not worth living.” Humanity has fully accepted this statement, and therefore is still open to new opportunities for self-realization and to question, doubt, be disappointed and strive for the unknown.
About true choice
How do superneeds manifest themselves in specific actions? It can be difficult to understand, because often our desires contradict each other. Let's say I come to the conclusion that my purpose is to discover the great artist within me. But I soberly see that this is unlikely to make me wealthy, since the life of contemporary artists is specific and complex. In the current social conditions, most likely I will end up in poverty, will not receive recognition, and will be at social risk.
On the other hand, in order to live a happy and prosperous life, I should get a well-paid job, have children, travel, and instead of an easel and paints, be content with banal selfies. This means that my innermost destiny will not come true!
If, as a result, I choose the first motivation, relying on my artist, then the super need to know myself as truth wins. I am ready to endure hardships in order to reveal myself in art.
If I rely on creating a happy, wealthy family, then in fact the super-need of creating an ideal society is realized in me.
But which choice seems more relevant to me? The road map that shows us where to turn at the crossroads of difficult life decisions lies only in our hands and hearts. You need to remember this well so as not to get into a semantic dead end and not be deceived. The main thing is not to miss the source of your own inspiration!
