Bring the gigolo to justice and how.

Advice from a psychologist: 4 signs that your man is a gigolo

In the classical sense, a gigolo is a man who lives at the expense of a woman in exchange for intimate services.
Previously, it was believed that they were found in secular circles, where there were many wealthy women. However, now many boundaries and boundaries have been erased; any man who uses a woman for profit can be called a gigolo. This exchange is not always direct - sex for money; modern forms of gigoloism are better veiled - a man can build a career, solve his housing problems at the expense of a woman, or use women's capital for his business. One thing common to all forms is that a woman, directly or indirectly, invests materially in a man. The man doesn’t invest in any way. He uses the woman’s resources and remains in a relationship with her exactly as long as they, the resources, are there. There are also women who are kept. But it seems to me that the conditions and consequences of relationships “with peak interest” for women and men are not initially equal. For many women, one of the basic needs is marriage and motherhood. When they become kept women, they receive money in exchange for refusing to satisfy this need. A man will not marry them and is unlikely to give them a child, but he pays generously precisely for what he does not marry and will not give.

A gigolo man, unless of course he is an obvious, classic man who will immediately voice his price, is silent about his selfish interest in a woman. On the contrary, he hides it under sincere interest and disguises it as a desire to build a relationship. The woman takes the bait. In return, she will not only not receive marriage and motherhood, she will also waste a material resource. Good sex with a gigolo is unlikely to compensate for such significant losses. Therefore, for women, relationships with gigolos are more destructive than for men, relationships with kept women.

How to recognize a gigolo?

Let's start with the fact that the risk of falling for a gigolo exists with any social inequality in relationships. Do you have your own apartment, but your man doesn’t? You have a high position and salary, and the man works as a simple clerk? Do you have your own business, and a man works for you as an employee? All this is inequality. However, in itself it does not mean anything. A man may not have his own home and live in a woman’s apartment, but still earn good money and invest money in both the woman and the home.

— The lack of investment in a woman and in a relationship with her, while using her resources without constraint, such as living in her apartment, driving her car, suggests that a man is not interested in a woman, but in these same resources. In this case, you can protect yourself and check the man by offering to split the bills: “yes, you live with me, but then we pay in half for utilities and split the bill on groceries.” Or “take my car, but please fill it up when you return.”

— Obsessive interest in a woman’s work and connections. When a man directly asks to introduce him to someone, to ask someone for some benefit for him, to introduce him to a certain circle - this can also indicate that the man is interested in you for your capabilities. This point is easy to check, for example, by refusing a man’s request. If there is no self-interest, the man will react normally to refusal and will begin to look for other opportunities, without losing the relationship with you. But if it exists, requests will be repeated, and refusals will be perceived with resentment and pressure.

- Direct requests for money, even for credit. But when debts are not repaid on time or are completely forgotten. Money itself is energy. This is why financially successful men are so attractive. Not only because of finances, but because energy emanates from them. Energy is power. Power attracts. If a man takes money from a woman rather than earns it, then the woman becomes a source of strength and energy and takes on a male role. Sooner or later this has a negative impact on sex. Because in bed a woman begins to feel like a man. Therefore, you can lend money once, force majeure happens to everyone, but if he asks again, especially when past debts have not been repaid or were not returned on time, he is almost certainly a gigolo and it is better to end the relationship;

- NOT only direct requests for money, such as your savings, but also requests to take out a loan for a man, because... he himself cannot do this for some very good reason, and he also “oh, how he needs” money, and this need is simply a matter of life and death. This sign suggests that in front of you is not just a gigolo, in front of you is a swindler and a swindler.
Here it is better to immediately call the police; almost certainly his information is already in the police database.

Article 16 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Grounds for the emergence of labor relations Labor relations arise between an employee and an employer on the basis of an employment contract concluded by them in accordance with this Code. In cases and in the manner established by labor legislation and other regulatory legal acts containing labor law norms, or the charter (regulations) of an organization, labor relations arise on the basis of an employment contract as a result of: appointment to a position or confirmation in a position; court decision on concluding an employment contract; recognition of relations associated with the use of personal labor and arising on the basis of a civil contract as labor relations. Labor relations between an employee and an employer also arise on the basis of the actual admission of the employee to work with the knowledge or on behalf of the employer or his authorized representative in the case where the employment contract was not properly drawn up. The actual admission of the employee to work without the knowledge or instructions of the employer or his an authorized representative is prohibited. Article 80 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Termination of an employment contract at the initiative of the employee (at his own request) On the last day of work, the employer is obliged to issue the employee a work book and other documents related to the work, upon the written application of the employee, and make a final settlement with him. Article 234 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. The employer's obligation to compensate the employee for material damage caused as a result of illegal deprivation of his opportunity to work. The employer is obliged to compensate the employee for the earnings he did not receive in all cases of illegal deprivation of his opportunity to work. Such an obligation, in particular, arises if earnings are not received as a result of: illegal removal of an employee from work, his dismissal or transfer to another job; the employer’s refusal to execute or untimely execution of the decision of the labor dispute resolution body or the state legal labor inspector to reinstate the employee to his previous job; delay by the employer in issuing a work book to an employee, or entering into the work book an incorrect or non-compliant wording of the reason for the employee’s dismissal. Article 236 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Financial liability of the employer for delay in payment of wages and other payments due to the employee If the employer violates the established deadline for payment of wages, vacation pay, dismissal payments and (or) other payments due to the employee, the employer is obliged to pay them with interest (monetary compensation ) in an amount of not less than one three hundredth of the refinancing rate of the Central Bank of the Russian Federation in force at that time from amounts not paid on time for each day of delay starting from the next day after the established payment deadline up to and including the day of actual settlement. The amount of monetary compensation paid to an employee may be increased by a collective agreement, local regulation or employment contract. The obligation to pay the specified monetary compensation arises regardless of the employer’s fault. Article 237 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Compensation for moral damage caused to an employee Moral damage caused to an employee by unlawful actions or inaction of the employer is compensated to the employee in cash in amounts determined by agreement of the parties to the employment contract. In the event of a dispute, the fact of causing moral damage to the employee and the amount of compensation for it are determined by the court, regardless of the property damage subject to compensation. Article 391 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Consideration of individual labor disputes in the courts The courts consider individual labor disputes at the request of the employee, employer or trade union defending the interests of the employee, when they do not agree with the decision of the labor dispute commission or when the employee goes to court without going through the labor dispute commission, as well as at the request of the prosecutor, if the decision of the labor dispute commission does not comply with labor legislation and other acts containing labor law norms. Individual labor disputes are considered directly in the courts on the basis of applications from: an employee - for reinstatement at work, regardless of the grounds for termination of the employment contract, for changing the date and wording of the reason for dismissal, for transfer to another job, for payment for the period of forced absence, or for payment of the difference in wages during the performance of lower-paid work, about unlawful actions (inaction) of the employer when processing and protecting the employee’s personal data; employer - on compensation by the employee for damage caused to the employer, unless otherwise provided by federal laws. Individual labor disputes are also heard directly in the courts: refusal to hire; persons working under an employment contract with employers - individuals who are not individual entrepreneurs, and employees of religious organizations; persons who believe that they have been discriminated against. Article 392 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Time limits for applying to court for resolution of an individual labor dispute An employee has the right to apply to court for resolution of an individual labor dispute within three months from the day he learned or should have learned about a violation of his rights, and in disputes about dismissal - within one month from the day of delivery of a copy of the dismissal order to him or the day of issue of the work book. The employer has the right to go to court in disputes regarding compensation by the employee for damage caused to the employer within one year from the date of discovery of the damage caused. If, for good reason, the deadlines established by parts one and two of this article are missed, they may be restored by the court. Article 393 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Exemption of employees from legal costs When filing a claim in court on claims arising from labor relations, including regarding non-fulfillment or improper fulfillment of the terms of an employment contract of a civil nature, employees are exempt from paying fees and legal costs.
Article 227 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Accidents subject to investigation and recording Accidents that occur with employees and other persons involved in the employer’s production activities (including persons subject to compulsory social insurance against industrial accidents and occupational diseases) are subject to investigation and recording in accordance with this chapter ), when they perform labor duties or perform any work on behalf of the employer (his representative), as well as when carrying out other lawful actions determined by the labor relationship with the employer or performed in his interests. Persons participating in the employer's production activities, in addition to employees performing their duties under an employment contract, in particular include: employees and other persons receiving education in accordance with an apprenticeship contract; students undergoing practical training; persons suffering from mental disorders who participate in productive work at medical and industrial enterprises in the form of occupational therapy in accordance with medical recommendations; persons sentenced to imprisonment and forced to work; persons involved in the prescribed manner to perform socially useful works; members of production cooperatives and members of peasant (farm) households who take personal labor participation in their activities. Events as a result of which the victims received: bodily injuries (injuries), including those inflicted by another person, are subject to investigation in the established manner as accidents; heatstroke; burn; frostbite; drowning; electric shock, lightning, radiation; bites and other bodily injuries caused by animals and insects; damage due to explosions, accidents, destruction of buildings, structures and structures, natural disasters and other emergency circumstances, other health damage caused by external factors, resulting in the need to transfer the victims to another job, temporary or permanent loss of their ability to work or death of the victims, if the specified events occurred: during working hours on the territory of the employer or in another place where work is performed, including during established breaks, as well as during the time necessary to put in order the tools of production and clothing, and perform other actions provided for by the internal labor regulations before and after the end of work, or when performing work outside the working hours established for the employee, on weekends and non-working holidays; when traveling to or from work in a vehicle provided by the employer (his representative), or in a personal vehicle in the case of using a personal vehicle for production (official) purposes by order of the employer (his representative) or by agreement of the parties to the employment contract ; when traveling to and from the place of business travel, during business trips on public or official transport, as well as when following the order of the employer (his representative) to the place of work (assignment) and back, including on foot; when traveling on a vehicle as a shift worker during a rest period between shifts (a shift driver on a vehicle, a conductor or mechanic of the refrigerated section on a train, a member of the mail car crew, and others); when working on a rotational basis during rest between shifts, as well as when being on a ship (air, sea, river) during free time from the watch and ship work; when carrying out other lawful actions caused by labor relations with the employer or performed in his interests, including actions aimed at preventing a disaster, accident or accident. The events specified in part three of this article are also subject to investigation in the established manner as accidents if they occurred with persons involved in the established procedure to participate in the work to prevent a catastrophe, accident or other emergency circumstances or in the work to eliminate their consequences.
Article 228 of the Labor Code of the Russian Federation. Responsibilities of the employer in case of an accident In case of accidents specified in Article 227 of this Code, the employer (his representative) is obliged to: immediately organize first aid for the victim and, if necessary, deliver him to a medical organization; take urgent measures to prevent the development of an emergency or other emergency situation and the impact of traumatic factors on other persons; until the investigation of the accident begins, preserve the situation as it was at the time of the incident, if this does not threaten the life and health of other persons and does not lead to a catastrophe, accident or other emergency circumstances, and if it is impossible to preserve it, record the current situation (draw up diagrams , take photographs or videos, and other events); immediately inform the authorities and organizations specified in this Code, other federal laws and other regulatory legal acts of the Russian Federation about the accident, and about a serious accident or fatal accident - also the relatives of the victim; take other necessary measures to organize and ensure a proper and timely investigation of the accident and registration of investigation materials in accordance with this chapter.
Article 10 of the Federal Law “On the Prosecutor’s Office of the Russian Federation”. Consideration and resolution of applications, complaints and other appeals in the prosecutor's office 1. The prosecutor's office, in accordance with their powers, resolves statements, complaints and other appeals containing information about violations of laws. The decision made by the prosecutor does not prevent a person from going to court to protect his rights. A decision on an appeal against a sentence, decision, determination and order of the court can only be appealed to a higher prosecutor. 2. Applications, complaints and other appeals received by the prosecutor's office are considered in the manner and within the time limits established by federal legislation. 3. The response to an application, complaint or other appeal must be motivated. If the application or complaint is refused, the applicant must be explained the procedure for appealing the decision, as well as the right to go to court, if provided by law. 4. The prosecutor, in accordance with the procedure established by law, takes measures to bring to justice persons who have committed offenses. 5. It is prohibited to forward a complaint to the body or official whose decisions or actions are being appealed.

Who is he?

Alphonse is a man who is partially or completely supported by a woman. In return, he may provide some personal services. This also includes intimacy. A sort of rogue who doesn’t need to bother, because everything can be done for him.

Alphonse realizes his value in communicating with women and understands that this can be used. He gradually begins to learn women's secrets and becomes more interesting in order to increase his demands on the lady.

Now look what I found! Step-by-step instructions on how to become a gigolo. It was written for a boy who was desperately trying to acquire the qualities of a male scammer. Here's what happened:

Pump up your body
Contact a stylist
Attend etiquette courses, acting courses will also do
Become an excellent pick-up artist
Educate yourself
Hanging out in theaters, clubs, fitness clubs, restaurants
Select the “processing” object
Seduce the victim

I’m not sure that the guy was satisfied, because this is also work! And gigolos really don’t like to work...

And some people don’t even need to take a steam bath. They easily trick the victim around their finger, using manipulation tricks that don’t even smell like etiquette.

How to recognize a gigolo.

What is needed to recognize a gigolo? There is a very valuable thing - information that will be the best confirmation of your point of view or its refutation. The more you know about a man, the better, but stories from his lips are not suitable, you never know what kind of “storyteller” you come across. It is extremely rare for gigolos to ingratiate themselves not only with you, but also with your social circle (this is dangerous, although it is more productive for them). In addition, gigolos try not to involve other people in their games; everything should be covered up with “decency,” so gigolo men will not introduce you to their friends, much less real relatives.

One way or another, look through your man's documents - this is normal now. You can ask him to provide evidence that he is not married, and at the same time check his name, address, etc. Many women, not knowing how, are embarrassed if he himself is ready to show them his passport with the words: “Here, check if you don’t want me.” you believe,” so they put the document back and say that they believe and no proof is needed.

And in vain, many gigolos deceive women like this, and if they decided to check the veracity of the gigolo’s words, they would immediately come up with a bunch of excuses, as long as the documents were not examined (for example, “you don’t trust me, I can’t build relationships like that,” etc.) . An excellent option to recognize a gigolo in a man would be to ask him to borrow money. Imagine for yourself: the gigolo plans to take money from you, and not lend it to you, so look at how the man reacts to your request to borrow money from you. It is correct to do this so that the period is about several months, and the amount should be quite large, but not excessively large. So the gigolo will most likely disappear, according to his logic, you will not have money soon (until you pay back the debt, while you save up more, etc.), and not every gigolo will be ready to give you his money, perhaps he will not be able to steal there’s nothing superfluous about you... You can also visit your gigolo’s work, even if he asks you not to go there, and that’s exactly what he does. Do this carefully, perhaps with the help of a person your man does not know.

How did he become like this?

Why do men become gigolos? For various reasons, the origins of which stretch back to childhood. Psychology will tell us about them now. So,

he was brought up in a family where his mother carried everything on herself, and his father stayed quietly and peacefully on the sofa. Such a family model can instill in a boy the confidence that he can not sweat, but enjoy women’s benefits;
he grew up without a father: a situation in which most often the mother feels guilty towards her son for the absence of a father. Trying to fill the gap, she tries to indulge him in everything. The son discovers what motivates his mother and begins to use it;
parents put pressure on him with excessive care: as a result, the boy becomes unfit for independence. It lacks purposefulness and self-sufficiency. Therefore, in the future, he is looking for a woman who will take care of him (i.e., in fact, replace his mother);
He has been irresistible since childhood and takes advantage of this: even at a young age he has many fans. Over time, the thought comes: “why not take advantage of your impeccable appearance?”

It is very difficult to change the perception of the relationship between a man and a woman that developed in childhood. Life with gigolo will follow the same scenario as in his family. Therefore, date a worthy man. And what are the chances of meeting him, you will find out in this article.

Help me leave my husband - gigolo

Good afternoon My husband and I have been together since 2006; we got married exactly a year after we met, in January. Then I came to St. Petersburg for work - I needed to organize the work of the company’s opening branch. At that time, my bosses had a fight - the stress was extreme, because... Each of my two directors told me their version of what happened and tried to turn me against the other. I was already thinking about returning home, leaving everything, but then I met my current husband. My daughter was 8 years old at that time, and before proposing to me, he talked to her and offered her 2 options: either we remain just friends or we get married. I gave her time to think - I didn’t even know anything about it. The situation at work became completely unbearable. I said I was leaving and went home. A month passed and one day during a telephone conversation with him, my daughter said that she had made a decision and would be glad if we got married (that day I learned about everything from her for the first time). It was nice to hear this and, leaving my daughter in the care of my mother, I went to “arrange my personal life” because... I wasn’t completely sure of him or that I would find a new job. But everything turned out very well - I lived with him, we practically never parted - he went to work 1-2 times a week in the evenings (for some reason this did not alarm me) One of my former bosses opened a new representative office and persuaded me cooperate with him. Everything was slowly getting better. And in the last days of May, my boyfriend was fired from his job. But because I didn’t notice any financial problems during our life together, I decided that there was nothing wrong and I could support both of us for a while, moreover, renovations were finishing in his 2nd apartment and he asked me to help him financially, which I did without hesitation, investing in repairs, then throwing money at the car - he motivated the purchase by saying that I needed to learn to drive myself and he would help me with this. But he chose the car himself and registered it in his name, without even including me in the compulsory insurance. I was in love and closed my eyes to everything. In December, we submitted an application to the registry office, the wedding date was set for mid-January, so that it coincided with the day we met. The wedding was very modest - at that time he did not work. I bought rings, a suit (for myself) too, but he didn’t even put on a shirt, well at least he changed his jeans to trousers, moreover, we got to the registry office by subway, he brought me to tears, I called home, apologized to my daughter (from for having an affair with him, I left my baby for a long time with my mother) and said that the wedding was canceled and I would come soon. And then my mother called me, she screamed into the phone that I had brought the child to tears, that my daughter hoped that after the wedding she would live with us, but I ruined everything. My heart was breaking, I spent a year supporting this ghoul, and my child suffered far from me. I finally forced myself to pull myself together and take this step (as it turned out, a step into the abyss). After the wedding, our relationship became worse and worse, my husband started drinking almost every day and still did not work. We talked with my daughter for a long time and came to the decision that she would live at home until the end of the school year - I hoped that he would finally get a job and then stop drinking. In the summer I went to pick up my daughter, stayed at home for a month, and then we went together to visit my husband in St. Petersburg. He really didn’t drink anymore, but he didn’t work and started walking away from me. I read his correspondence on the laptop that I bought for him by accident - I wanted to look at the recipe for the cake, but I came across an unprotected page on a dating site. It turned out that while I was at work, he walked away from me, while I was at my mother’s house, he walked even more. It happened that in the morning he woke up with one, in the evening he met with another. I didn’t tell him anything - I thought it was my fault that I left him for so long. But in October, one of his mistresses began to attack me on social networks. I then talked to him. I wanted to calmly discuss everything without shouting, but he himself started yelling that I was interfering in his personal life.

It so happened that this same girl who wrote to me worked with my former colleague and she, having learned about everything, told me everything about their meetings. Our sex slowly faded away. Why didn't I leave him then? I don’t know myself - I was clutching at the junk, I felt sorry for the money invested in it - after all, I completely updated the furniture in the apartment where we lived (at that time, the renovation in his 2nd apartment was completed and he began to rent it out, however, he spent the money only for himself, and what’s more, he didn’t hesitate to take what I earned) In 2008, he finally got a job, although he was fired from there too, because... It didn’t last long for him - at first he went to work every day, and after six months he began to skip work, inventing various reasons, calling his boss, lying about something. He covered him as much as he could, then he got tired of it and was told “goodbye.” In 2007, while continuing to work in the same place, I opened a small company that required me to invest additional effort and time. I had neither the time nor the desire to cry and suffer over “unhappy love” - I roared, of course, howled into my pillow when I was left at home alone (while my daughter was at school, and he didn’t know where) I forced myself not to think about this for the sake of my daughter. She went to my good school, went in for sports, where she achieved success - she received several medals. So as not to “lose seniority,” I hired him for my job. He is listed there only formally, however, when I need to take something around the city, I pay him for the trip - he just won’t take his wife anywhere for work. His sprees continued. The last time he and I had sex was in early March 2009!!! I was raised in a family where my parents lived in perfect harmony until my father’s death. I thought that I could not stain our family (more like coexistence) with betrayal, but one day he once again did not spend the night at home, then I saw that his laptop was not turned off again, I went there and read another correspondence. I called him and said that I had read everything and was leaving him. He says: don’t believe everything that is written there, we are all just friends. He said that it would be around 23-30, I still doubted whether it was worth leaving, but I decided that everything would depend on his answer to my question: “Where are you now?” He says: I took my daughter from Marina (one of his girls - at that time she was in Tunisia, but that was no longer important) and we left. A month passed without him - I stopped crying, calmed down, started looking for a new job, successfully passed the interview - I had to start work in mid-September and then he appeared. No, not physically - he started calling, then he tried to persuade me to come back, then he yelled that I used him (who?) and he would divorce me. Convinced of the futility of all this, he began to “press on what was sore”: her daughter, her studies at a new school, where she entered after difficult exams and having passed a big competition. Yes, my daughter’s future has always been in first place for me, on August 31 we returned and my daughter went to that very excellent school in the center of St. Petersburg. On September 13, I left St. Petersburg because... I decided to live separately from him. This decision was balanced and approved by my daughter. Despite the bad relationship between me and him, he loves my daughter like his own. He always did a lot for her - not financially, but gave her a lot of love and care. I walked with her, supported her at competitions, and taught her a lot. I became a “weekend mom.” I lived between St. Petersburg and Moscow. On one of my trips, he called and started yelling something about how he had no money (I opened a card in the name of my daughter and she never needed money, especially since she oversaw the work of the employees of my small company in St. Petersburg and with She had no problems with money, which can’t be said about her husband. He doesn’t work anywhere again, he’s registered with me, but doesn’t receive a salary - there’s nothing to pay for. My daughter always bought groceries herself, and she said then that she didn’t talk nothing to him about the card, because he should finally someday stop sitting on my neck. That call from him plunged me into severe depression, I couldn’t recover from resentment and bitterness - I didn’t want to realize that he was being kept nearby I have only mercantile interests with me...

At a new workplace, I met one MCH, to whom I was somehow able to tell everything. He was married, but his wife was expecting a child and left Moscow for Siberia to stay with her mother during the pregnancy, because... I felt very bad in the capital. He earned money for his family and his future baby. At work, we spent a lot of time together, he constantly told me: “remember once and for all: you DO NOT have a husband! This man is not your husband, find someone for yourself and it won’t be cheating, because not having sex for 3 years is not normal, because he doesn’t think about you, cheating left and right...” In the end, it so happened that one fine day I stayed with him. I told him that I was not in love with him, he replied that he knew that we both needed nosex, so without any romantic nonsense we would do it until one of us decided that enough was enough. His wife gave birth to a wonderful boy in December last year. He couldn’t come to her - work kept him busy. We celebrated the New Year with a noisy group in Moscow, in the company of our mutual friends, away from my husband. I didn't even care where he was. And on January 1, in the afternoon, his wife called on Skype to wish everyone a Happy New Year and I felt so ashamed in front of her, I was so disgusted with myself that I can’t even express it. Later I told him that there would be no more sex between us - I couldn’t, he agreed, but then we repeated everything again several times (at that time we were engaged in a common business with him and his friend and we sometimes had to stay for a long time working in his apartment , sometimes only in the morning they finished sorting out the papers, so we all had to live together with him, but as soon as this paper madness passed and I returned to my place, the sex between us really stopped (I learned to keep myself in check a long time ago) A month ago, I, having arrived in once again in St. Petersburg to visit my daughter, I discovered that the affairs of my St. Petersburg company had significantly deteriorated, and our joint venture with our lover somehow did not bring us much money, moreover, our partners still owe us a fairly large amount of money. persuaded him to stay again (my daughter laughs: his wallet arrived). I went to the KVD, passed all the tests, was treated for something, says that he wants a child. I got back into business, but now there are fewer clients, there are more payments and it doesn’t always work out To live the same way as before, sometimes you have to deny yourself a lot. I noticed that when I’m alone with my daughter, I say nasty things about my husband, about the fact that he doesn’t want to work, and lies in front of his laptop all day (not only that, apparently he’s constantly masturbating - how many times have I gone into his room (since 2009 we’ve been living as neighbors in different rooms) - he always has his hand under the blanket in the genital area. Yes, during my departure he partially moved the furniture that I bought to another apartment, partially sold it - he says there was nothing to live on, and the apartment needed renovation release (when and with whose money he plans to do the repairs is not known) Today I asked him to take something to 3 places (as usual, for money), he agreed with a dissatisfied face. I couldn’t immediately find the address - I called, yelled, insulted. I understand that what we have is not a family. I feel nothing but contempt for him. I myself can’t understand WHY I keep coming back. My daughter’s school? Nonsense! After all, I can rent an apartment or at least a room, but No, I'm still clinging to something. I'm always stopped by the memory of how good everything once was between us. But that was so long ago! In 2006! 6 years have passed, and I still live in the past. Help me force myself to leave him completely and forever. I probably need some kind of push, a kick in the ass or something... Yes, it’s strange, but I’m not at all ashamed of cheating in front of him, but I’ll never be able to tell him about it, I’m only ashamed in front of my lover’s wife - after all, I myself experienced this pain, which I caused to her, although she doesn’t know about it (and may she never know)

Should I leave my husband?

What kinds of individuals are there?

We figured out who the gigolo is, but we haven’t talked about the species yet. So, there is a gigolo-swindler, a gigolo-pro, a household gigolo.

The swindler is looking for a woman between 30 and 40 years old who is disappointed in men. She does not believe that it is possible to find a worthy, dedicated and decent candidate. And then he appears, overwhelmed with feelings, passion and empathy. The same feelings are kindled in her, she becomes loved and desired, which is why she turns off her head.

Often the swindler invents some unpleasant situation: his mother’s illness, lack of money for his sister’s treatment, betrayal of a business partner, loss of all savings. He asks the woman to help, and she agrees, because she has already trusted him.

The characteristics of a professional are somewhat different. He doesn't care about age or appearance. He will adapt to any woman, as long as she is wealthy. He will learn etiquette, pump up his body, and strengthen his intellect. A professional will always find out about a woman’s weaknesses and take advantage of them.

And finally, the most harmless, in my opinion, view. A household gigolo is a lazy man who has forgotten how to work and take responsibility. He was simply lost due to layoffs at work, business bankruptcy or other reasons. He has no goal of finding a wealthy woman, but he is not averse to warming up under her wing. At the same time, he plaintively appeals to her maternal feelings.

Do we need gigolo? Of course not! What kind of men do we need? Read about it here.

Tempting offer

At school and in college, I played sports to look attractive.
But it still didn’t work out with the girls. They preferred more confident guys, and later, wealthier men. After college, I still couldn’t get a job. I used to think that only stupid people and slackers found themselves in such a situation, but it was a real black streak. Finally they hired me as a security guard at the store. The work was hard - I had to stand in one place for 12 hours, but at least it was something. A pretty girl Masha worked at the cash register. Her father often came to see her, controlled her, and even asked me to look after her if anything happened. Masha was a former drug addict, and her parents were very worried that she would relapse. One day her father told me that if someone like me married his daughter, he would be so happy to give such a handsome man an apartment.

I understood: this was a hint and began to act. I treated Masha to coffee, gave flowers - you can’t really go wild on my meager salary, but I tried. She smiled, but didn't take me seriously. I also foolishly told my mother that I wanted to marry a former drug addict, and her father promised a two-room apartment for this. Mom scolded me and told me not to dare think about it. That conversation completely discouraged me from being frank with my parent. Although objectively my mother, of course, was right.

How to protect yourself from a wolf in sheep's clothing?

In fact, you can easily figure out a gigolo, a man whose essence is not yet clear to you. Now you will see how:

if there are doubts about his work, how to find out the truth? Feel free to call the organization where the potential gentleman supposedly works and you will find out everything right away;
avoid asking questions about your financial situation, and in general, it is incorrect to ask a lady such questions. What to do if the topic of housing is raised? Tell us that you live well with your parents or are experiencing housing difficulties or are temporarily living in someone else’s apartment;
do not provide any, absolutely no, help! No worthy man would dare to plunge you into his problems. He will cope perfectly well on his own, and you are a delicate, fragile flower that is a pleasure to admire;
let you not be ashamed to ask for help. How else can you figure out what kind of person he is? Therefore, ask to transport the seedlings to the dacha, fix the socket, and take them to the clinic for an appointment. Alphonse does not like this situation, and he will slowly begin to merge;
when asked to provide financial assistance to his mother/grandmother/sister, answer that you are ready to help, but only after speaking with them personally;
Be clear that you don't like being asked to introduce him to the right people, and you won't do it. A normal man will understand and will look for opportunities himself. However, his respectful attitude towards you will not change. Alphonse will immediately press for pity and will not get off you so easily until he achieves what he wants;

Unconditionally call the police when they try to put a loan on you. Perhaps the scam is already in their database, so it would be a good idea to clarify the information about it;
try to get him to talk, take photos together, introduce him to friends, ask why he doesn’t want to talk about his loved ones. Alfonso cannot be led to revelations so easily, so he will prefer to find a new victim, not so inquisitive;
in the case of the poor fellow in everyday life, how to distinguish him from the established gigolo? And you stop dragging everything on yourself. Say that you are being laid off or you are quitting so you can spend more time with your family. He will have no choice but to come to his senses and rush to find a job. If this option doesn’t work, ask to free up some space on the couch and in your life at the same time.

We expose and get rid of the gigolo

Have you found similarities between the description of this kind of hero-lovers and the behavior of your partner? The correct solution in this situation would be to run without looking back. But it's not always easy. How to behave with such a person? How to get rid of gigolo?

A man of this type will disappear from your field of vision if you use one of the following methods:

Sensing a catch, ask a few direct questions “head-on” regarding his life, financial and social situation in society.
This time, don't accept long-winded answers and ask for specifics. Ask about his past and present work, about his housing, relationships with women and friends. If you have already been close, you have the right to get answers to these questions. If not, but you suspect him to be a gigolo, the reaction to the questions can expose the scammer and help preserve your peace of mind.
The most effective method of getting rid of a gigolo, also known as a test for a man, is an announcement that you are having serious financial difficulties, for example, it could be layoffs at work, bankruptcy, or a fictitious arrival of relatives who will supposedly live in your apartment.
If a man’s attitude towards you is serious, he will use all his strength and capabilities to resolve your difficulties, but if he is a gigolo, he will lose all interest and go in search of a new victim.
If you live together, openly voice your intention to split bills and current expenses.
Stop paying for it in public places. In the same way, you can correctly refuse his request, for example, to introduce him to the person he needs. A decent man will understand you, even if he is somewhat upset by the refusal and this will not affect the further development of the relationship. For the gigolo, this will be a sign of your unsuitability for further “cooperation”; he may even get angry in response, but soon, nevertheless, he will isolate himself.

How to drive away a gigolo.

So, you know how to recognize a gigolo, and let’s assume that your fears were justified and now you need to drive the gigolo out of your life. How to do this? The most difficult thing to get rid of is a gigolo when you are already “addicted to it”, i.e. fell in love, as they say, head over heels. The most important thing here is not to persuade your inner “I” that he could fall in love back, etc., if that happened, he would not defraud you of money. So proceed like this:

Understand that this person specifically got into your life to deceive you.
Don’t blame or reproach yourself for being naive, he just turned out to be more experienced than you in these matters,
Having realized that this is a gigolo in front of you, do not put this in front of him, he will disappear, it is better to contact a good lawyer you know who will help punish the fraudster,
Heal yourself from mental wounds through communication and new acquaintances.

You may not be able to return everything that was extracted from you by the cheating gigolo scammer, but you can properly drive away the gigolo so that he forgets about his affairs or thinks about it, and other women can live in peace without another swindler. The difficulty in expelling a gigolo from your life is in your feelings, some women agree to carry the gigolo on themselves, as long as he is nearby, they fall in love with him, and literally enter into an agreement: the gigolo gives affection and tender words to the woman, and the woman gives the gigolo money. The problem is that not every woman can understand that the man next to her is a gigolo, even if everyone around her talks about it. Understanding comes only after the woman is left alone, and even without money.

Nothing makes a woman madder than words about love.

Well, okay, another 80% discount on underwear and white refrigerator light in a dark kitchen. Otherwise, women, as extremely elevated beings, are extremely susceptible to the speeches of vicious handsome men.

Meeting a gigolo is like getting the mumps at an advanced age.

Theoretically, this could have happened, but somehow such an absurdity never even crossed my mind. And each of you, dear ones, is sure: “Can’t I tell a normal guy from a greedy stingy guy?! It’s a piece of cake!” More, at least for chewed mimosa, instead of normal flowers. But in reality everything is not so simple. Professional gigolos are excellent at camouflage.

Manipulation, dust in the eyes - their direct specialization. Do you seriously think you can compete with a professional?

And don’t blame yourself if such a comrade managed to crawl into your heart. If you have exposed him, it is very easy to get rid of the gigolo.

Just say: “Bye, dear!” And then pack his things into a bag with holes and send him back to his mother.

How to get rid

From home is almost impossible. Not only are most women accustomed to living in such conditions and do not perceive such behavior as gigoloism, but the survivors themselves at a critical moment change their shell radically (they say passionate words, wash the dishes and get a job for a couple of months) until the storm will not subside.

Many of us, dear girls, listening to the dramatic stories of our friends about unhappy love and disappointed expectations, think that this will never affect us personally in real life.

When we come across a colorful glossy page with the sad story of our predecessors about how a gigolo broke another woman’s heart, we sigh sympathetically, but don’t take it into account - it’s not in danger for us! And that’s why we don’t think about how to recognize a gigolo?

But in vain, gigolo scammers are everywhere, the enemy is armed and very dangerous.

How to get rid of gigolo?

The best way to deal with a drone is, of course, to simply not let it into your life. If you are already drawn into this relationship, it’s time for a basic experiment - never, under any circumstances, pay for a man, nothing more is required.

As soon as the financial flow is blocked, problems in the relationship will immediately begin; the beloved gigolo guy will begin to be capricious, hysterical, and give lectures about selfless love and female commercialism.

Of course, over time, he will evaporate from your life, but his nerves will be shaken - he will cling to you, pressure you for pity, bombard you with text messages and suffer demonstrably. Therefore, it is better to get rid of it abruptly and even rudely, so that it does not have time to cling to any of your weak spots again.

Of course, many authors consider this topic controversial - they say, trust your heart, no matter what form of relationship, as long as you like it. But in reality this is self-deception. After all, the basis of this relationship is not love, but not a very pure calculation, and this means that you will have to wait your whole life for betrayal from a loved one.

He will always be in search of the best.

If, God forbid, for some reason you are unable to provide the required standard of living, he will instantly turn from an admirer into a cynical rogue and leave without any regret. First he will find richer, then richer and more beautiful, then richer, more beautiful and younger.

So, if you have a lot of extra money, nerves of steel and a disdainful attitude towards men, an affair with a gigolo will not ruin your mood, but it’s still better not to.

False feelings devalue our lives and destroy our souls, but we deserve to be loved! We hope our tips will help you understand how to recognize a gigolo, and you will never find yourself in his network.