Correct installation
Some people think that dating is very difficult. With such an attitude, it is difficult to make new friends and take initiative when looking for a partner.
If you also think that establishing contact with a stranger is beyond your power, urgently change your beliefs on this matter.
Until you start treating people easier, the situation will not change. You don’t have to think that those around you will definitely greet you with hostility. You take the initiative and show your own interest, and others should be flattered by this. For this reason alone you can count on the successful continuation of the conversation.
Additionally, it is important to remember that you are worthy of making others eager to get to know you. Maybe your shyness is a result of not having high self-esteem. Identify your strengths to be interesting to yourself and other people.
“Any roads are dear to us...”
Plot
One friend of mine has to fly by plane very often for work. Unlike many other ladies who prefer to wear comfortable sportswear when traveling, she, on the contrary, dresses with the elegance of an English queen. And all because he considers these places to be the best for meeting men. By the way, she has a cartload of such successful acquaintances: a diplomat from St. Petersburg sends her bouquets every week, an Italian businessman invites her to spend a vacation together, and a German artist dreams of painting her portrait...
Main character
The romance of dating on the subway, trains and commuter trains will probably never go away. Skeptical young ladies who will say: “Fee, how is it possible - after all, only plebeians travel by these types of transport!” It’s worth knowing: because of the notorious traffic jams, sometimes even show business stars, like Philip Kirkorov, get into the metro. Yes, here you can easily meet a handsome intellectual in clean shoes and with a volume of Bunin in his hands, or a businessman late for a meeting wearing an expensive watch and a Forbes magazine. The main thing is to clearly see the presence or absence of a wedding ring.
Direct speech
(a cheat sheet for ladies on how to start a conversation) “It seems like we’ve already met? Do you drive this route every day?” (Suitable for the subway and dating in traffic)
“Great music you have in your player. My favorite band!" (If your travel companion is a music lover)
“How do you like this book, I just started reading it” (If you are sure that you can become more interesting than your paper-bound rival, at least for the duration of the trip)
“I'm very afraid of flying. Perhaps I’ll have to drink wine for calming purposes, maybe you’ll keep me company?” (Alcohol helps you relax and also brings you together very well... if you don’t abuse it, of course)
Your appearance
When meeting someone, it is important to make a good impression. This is difficult to do if you don’t look presentable enough. Take care of your appearance. It is important to look neat and tidy. A good haircut, well-groomed hands and nails, clean skin, a pleasant aroma, ironed clothes and polished shoes will create the right impression of you.
The way you move and speak is also important. Your gestures should radiate friendliness and self-confidence. Try to speak in a low voice; this timbre is most pleasant for others. Don't forget about a smile - this is your main weapon before, during and after a conversation with a stranger.
Fresh air
Plot
Recently, it has become fashionable to lead a healthy lifestyle, skating, skiing, and in the summer - on bicycles, rollerblades, skateboards and scooters. And these sports are literally created to introduce people to each other. An experienced extreme rider will be happy to teach you tricks and various tricks, you just have to ask and draw attention to yourself, blinking your eyes in surprise. You don’t have equipment - skates, skis, a bicycle, roller skates or a skateboard? Nonsense - now all parks offer rentals in indoor areas. Forward! By the way, you can even hire a nice instructor.
Main character
We choose the individual we like without a ring and a tail in the form of a girl or child riding behind.
Direct speech
“What a great thing you can do. I wish I could learn that too. Will you show me this little trick again for me personally?” (if your hero is special and fully armed)
“Young man, help him fulfill his childhood dream - teach him to skate/cycle/help him choose a bike” (if he’s not in a hurry to get home in time for a hot dinner, and he likes you, he’ll do it)
“I don’t understand anything at all about the speeds on this bike, can you enlighten me?”
“Have you already skied here - can you tell me where the rental is, which way is the most picturesque path?”
Find commonalities
In order to somehow develop the conversation, you need to find a topic for conversation. Don't limit yourself to phrases about the weather. Find something in common with the person you want to charm. Look for clues in the appearance and environment of your interlocutor.
For example, a girl walking a dog can be talked into conversation by mentioning her own love for these animals.
Just remember that your interest must be sincere; people sense falsehood.
You can also discuss the circumstances in which you and your interlocutor are at the moment. During the party, you can discuss music, food, and find mutual friends.
Where can you really meet a girl?
In what places can you meet a girl?
- Lingerie store. To the question of what a man can do in a lingerie boutique, there is a proven answer for naive girls: he buys a robe for his mother! Of course, one should not a priori consider any person a liar. And yet, most men do not go to lingerie, jewelry and other boutiques to choose gifts for close and distant relatives. Single men may not even be aware of the existence of such stores! So, if someone meets you in such an unusual place, keep your eyes open. In the end, if he really chooses a robe for his mother or pajamas for his sister, he will probably choose something modest, not too inviting or erotic.
- Hospital. My friend Sasha once met a fantastically handsome guy in the hospital. It turned out that the young and beautiful can also be put in such a place. Unfortunately, the environment of most hospitals is extremely unromantic. It is simply impossible to have a full-fledged romance with a girl: there are too many unpleasant associations. Sashka said that even when you both recover and are released, it is impossible to build a full-fledged erotic relationship with someone who found you in the treatment room a couple of times with terrible tubes in your nose and other orifices!
- Serious institutions where you can meet a girl: for example, an insurance company, a law office, etc. The hero of the famous Soviet film urged “not to confuse your personal hair with the state one.” And this is extremely reasonable. By the same principle, you should never confuse personal interests with official business interests. Although it may be tempting to meet with your doctor, lawyer, or insurer, it is not always worth the risk. It’s one thing when a person collaborating with you himself gives reason to hope for something more than just joint business. It’s another matter when you harass a man you like in the workplace.
Meeting a girl at work
I had a lawyer friend, Vadim. In addition to his law degree, he had a stunning appearance, which, unfortunately, was a great hindrance in his work. “I have absolutely no time to conduct serious business,” he complained, “all my time is spent on stupid consultations with nymphomaniac women who come back to me again and again with stupid questions. Oh, how I wish there would be a law banning flirting in the workplace!” So show respect and let the person work in peace. After all, you yourself probably wouldn’t want to be pulled and distracted at your workplace.
Yulia Spiridonova-Mikeda, managing partner of Netology Group
My most productive source of contacts is public speaking.
I recently participated in an event organized by the WE Talks community, where we talked with representatives of Yandex, VKontakte and Mail.Ru Group about modern trends in the education of adults and children. The discussion was about why the largest ]runet[/anchor] are now entering the EdTech market.
One of my readers came up to me after the speech and said: “I understand that you don’t need this now, but if you buy a new building, I will be glad to work with you! I'm a realtor." I have kept contact and will get back to her when the time comes. It is important for me to work with motivated people.
Also, my activity on social networks gives me a large flow of incoming requests. I post a lot on Instagram and Facebook about entrepreneurship, women's businesses, and online learning.
Useful tips for networking.
- Make a list of people you are interested in, opinion leaders in your industry. Play through possible topics for conversation or appeal.
- The main secret of networking is mutual benefit. Make a list of your resources - what you are willing to give to your interlocutor in return.
- Find a reason to meet people you are interested in.
- Learn to share contacts - this will revive your dating network. People will be grateful and recommend you in return.
- Expand your network of contacts through social networks. There you can give people free expertise, useful materials and contacts.
Dmitry Kucherov, Director of the Strategic Development Department of EKF
Today, 60% of business communications come from social networks and instant messengers. Calls are being replaced by voice messages, and good communication skills help make business acquaintances.
A person with developed communication skills is able to interest his interlocutor, even if he has gaps in his professional field.
An example that allows you to see business connections in action is the well-known “theory of six handshakes.” In practice, it really turns out that you can reach the contact person of interest using a chain consisting of an average of five people. And for simple purposes, sometimes two or three are enough.
My tips for effective networking.
- A strategy needs to be defined . Depending on the career and professional goals for which a network of business contacts is created, the audiences and tools for working with them will be different.
- Don't be afraid to communicate with people in high positions . They are often open to communication and respond easily to conversations. In many ways, the success of these people is associated precisely with developed communication skills.
- There's no need to rush . Networking is not a sprint, but a marathon. You cannot create a working contact database in one day. You need to maintain relationships, be attentive to people, congratulate them on important events in life, contact them to discuss ideas and opinions, ask questions and respond to posts on social networks.
Natalya Storozheva, General Director of the Perspective Business and Career Development Center
Finding someone interesting for your business is not difficult. This could be a seatmate on a plane or a theater, or a visitor to an exhibition in a museum.
Once at a conference, one of the speakers complained that he couldn’t find a good marketer. After his speech, I asked a question about the company’s development strategy. And she added that tomorrow I can show him three good marketing specialists. He became interested and we talked after the event. The next day we interviewed together, and a week later the vacancy was filled.
On the plane next to me there was a man who was loudly convincing his colleague (or partner) over the phone that he urgently needed to change the head of the sales department, otherwise the company’s sales plan would not increase.
They talked for so long that the steward came up to him and asked him to turn off the phone. After that, I handed over my business card and offered to find worthy candidates. We agreed on the agreement right on board the plane. Interviews began as soon as the director returned from a business trip. The vacancy was filled incredibly quickly.
