Birth of a second child in 2020: payments and procedure for receiving them

school education influence us . Needless to say, to what extent, at some stage, grades change and even ruin a child’s life. Probably everyone is familiar with these feelings when they can’t carry their legs home, because... The diary contains a disgusting assessment. And she was in the same place yesterday. And in general, it seems that the deuces have been written in the diary forever... Hence not only upset feelings. The child, so that his parents do not scold him, is forced to lie and therefore erases the bad grade in his diary. But the paradox is that he then suffers doubly for this, because mom and dad will punish him, and seriously... What should I do to make my hopes come true? Belt and angle are not the answer. And an even bigger dead end...

What if we treat assessments adequately?

How is that? - you ask. Everything is meant here at once. And the child’s abilities, and the conditions for study and life, and the attention or inattention of parents, and the school itself. What can I say, the list of these points, that is, reasons, is much more extensive. Therefore, it is advisable to figure it out step by step.

Firstly, when you yourself have learned to deal adequately with bad grades, teach your child to draw the right conclusions. Yes, there is not always time for this. Yes, the mood is not always present with desire. But this is your child. And in many ways he learns poorly due to lack of control or heredity. It is unlikely that anyone will deny this truth.

What's the main thing in all this? Not an assessment, that's right, but knowledge. It happens that you and your child have learned everything that was asked, and he seems to understand everything. But the next day he brought a deuce. Why? So figure it out! There could be many reasons. Examine each one under a microscope and take action.

For example, try to convince your child that he needs to listen carefully to the teacher in class. As practice shows, children then do not learn their lessons at home, but only repeat them. putting away textbooks for tomorrow. Explain why a person needs knowledge. We can give examples of people who have achieved their good goals in life and are grateful to their parents for skillfully organizing the process with lessons.

Convey to children the information that studying will take a long time. But you will have to get grades. And better - good ones. Although, to be honest, they are considered some kind of stage that reflects children’s perception of new knowledge.

You can tell your child that he definitely needs to learn to communicate correctly with both students and the teacher.

Let's say a teacher made a remark. Yes, sometimes. But we must learn to correct mistakes. And everyone goes through this, not just one particular child.

There is no need to be offended by a bad grade - it is better to correct it. After all, how does it happen? If a child harbors a grudge against a teacher, his entire school years will be in vain.

By the way, as the same experience shows, many reveal their abilities to the fullest only at an institute or college, where no one humiliated them, where they valued knowledge and him as a person, first of all...

The child gets bad grades

A. Einstein was a poor student at school. However, if your child is a poor student, this does not mean that he will become the next Einstein.

In today's world, children face unprecedented levels of stress and neglect. Many children never manage to feel like children at all. From birth, they are taken to developmental clubs and forced to do something inappropriate for the child’s age and needs. Many parents believe that having a childhood for a child is an unaffordable luxury, and by childhood they only mean a bunch of toys and excellent food.

Communication with children is like playing army: put away the toys, wash the dishes, take out the trash, tidy up your room, work in class, stop showing emotions, don’t make your parents angry, don’t be rude, don’t run around, pack your briefcase, do as you’re told...

Most of the lesson at school is reminiscent of a game of “who can beat who.” Moreover, the teacher shouts the loudest, and instead of explaining the topic, she chooses to discuss how someone dropped a pencil, and how this second rustle disrupted the lesson.

At home, the motivation to do homework or chores is through threats: if you get a bad grade, I will take your computer away.

Sometimes punishment turns into moral torture, and the more the child suffers, the more aggressive the parent becomes.

It is important to understand why a child is not doing well in a subject:

• goes to school to make friends,
• goes to school to communicate with friends and look for his place in the group hierarchy system,
• there is another favorite subject or activity, and a lot of time is spent on it,
• the feeling of shame experienced during this lesson,
• The teacher’s behavior in this lesson changes, it differs from behavior in other lessons, the child is disoriented,
• experienced feeling of fear (threats from the teacher addressed to the child, to classmates, to the class),
• the child is bored, he already knows what it’s about,
• the child wants to stand out. The teacher talks to him, pays attention to him, and during communication her facial expressions and intonation change. A sense of personal exclusivity, I am special, fear of work and difficulties,
• the child does not understand the meaning of words in the rule, in the text of the problem, in the teacher’s explanation (unfamiliar words),
• only by doing this object with mom, who sits next to her, checks, explains, you can feel that mom is there, she is alive, she is nearby, listen to her voice, be with her,
• the desire for control on the part of parents (as a need for an inner core) - here lies hidden psychotrauma and depression in the child. The cause must be identified through therapy,
• fear that nothing will work out. But when mom or dad sits nearby, this is a division of responsibility - “one head is good, but two are better.” If it doesn't work out, then both are to blame. It’s not scary, because the child will place the degree of blame on the parent,
• unpleasant memories, fear, rejection of the parent towards this subject in his childhood,
• the parent shows his distrust and indignation towards this particular subject, is not satisfied with the curriculum, says: “Why is this necessary?”, “Difficult program”,
• interpersonal conflict with the teacher. The image of a female teacher resembles someone from the family system with whom the child’s relationship does not work out,
• disappointment in the teacher as a person. The fall of an ideal.

That's not all. Each child has his own story.

In order to figure it out and reach the “good” level, you need to work through the trauma with a psychotherapist. Then the child’s academic performance, self-worth and confidence in success increase.

What should a parent do before visiting a psychotherapist?

First, monitor your impulses and remain calm.

Don't enter into conflict.

Do not join the order system.

Secondly, express the child’s feelings: “You’re angry now, it’s normal to be angry,” “You’re ashamed, that’s normal.”

Monitor your usual reactions and act differently.

Obligatory praise of yourself for your work. Children do not know how to praise themselves even for small achievements. Because parents never praise themselves or treat themselves with gratitude. Start thanking yourself for what you do. Getting up in the morning was a feat. Gratitude to yourself. If you did something, praise yourself!

Reward for every stage of work. For example: “I’ll do this piece of work and get busy (computer game, relaxation, eat something tasty, etc.).” After the work stage, you can reward yourself with candy, tea with chocolate, or a handful of delicious nuts (or watch a 10-minute video or game between work stages).

Another way is praise. And here a pitfall arises. We do not know how to praise not only ourselves, but children and teenagers.

Imagine that a child brought you a drawing. Praise him. (Usually this is “Well done! Beautiful!”)

After such praise, will the child delight himself with drawing, rejoice at his achievements, or will he please you with them?

Yes sir! He will please anyone with them, but not himself. Included in the “Make Others Happy” scenario.

The first commandment is that children find it difficult to accept praise in the form of evaluation. Praise in the form of evaluation is perceived by a teenager as humiliation.

How to praise in such a way that the child wants to draw and get joy from drawing, and not please you with his drawings?

descriptive praise technique .

Such praise consists of two parts: description and skill.

First, describe what is shown in the picture.

For example, “I see you painted a bright yellow sun, clouds, a tree with a thick green crown. You feel color and know how to express your feelings on paper!”

If this is a completed briefcase, then the descriptive technique would be: “I see that you have prepared for tomorrow’s classes. You've done your homework, collected your textbooks. You know how to plan for the future!”

Describing even the most insignificant achievement of a child for you, without habitually evaluating it as “good”, “excellent” and “well done”, turns out to be more difficult than you think. Because it’s difficult to describe, and you’re not used to such communication. However, you should practice, and you will definitely reach a new level of interaction.

For example, instead of - “What a beautiful drawing! You are just a real artist!”, you say: “I see the sky, the white moon and yellow stars,” and the child already understands that he knows how to draw the night.

Or, for example, a situation. A girl came to the appointment with a very strong feeling of guilt and shame, she chewed all her fingers until they bled. In the process of analysis, a story came to light that a girl found a wallet at school and took it to the teacher’s room. Mom, having learned about this, said: “Well done! You are a good, honest girl!” And the girl thought that she was not honest at all, because... Yesterday in math class she cheated. She felt ashamed, guilty and self-punishing.

How to tell a girl about the situation with her wallet using the descriptive praise technique? “The teacher told me that you found a wallet with money and took it to the staff room. You know how to make decisions!”

How can you praise a child who says: “Today I got an A!” We praise like this: “I see you are very pleased. You worked so hard!”

How to praise a child who said: “I did everything!” We say: “You focused on the work and didn’t stop working until you finished. You know how to work!”

What should you say to a child who wrote hook sticks and not the whole line was written perfectly?

How would you praise? You will probably say: “Well done! Next time you will write better!”

And you created two messages. The child received a rating of “Well done!” And the work is immediately devalued - “Next time you will write better!”, the word “well done” became not meaningful, but like a mockery.

There won't be another time. Another time he will create a new one for himself another time, when he will probably write better, and so on ad infinitum.

How do you say descriptive praise?

“I see you wrote sticks and hooks. You got this stick and this hook. It’s difficult to write a whole line like that, but you try.”

Instead of pointing out what you don't like, point out the achievements your child has made. Out of all the work, there is always something to which you can say - “you did it.”

Another example.

Instead of saying: “Why are you bothering? Have you solved three examples so far? At this pace, you won’t finish it until the morning!” It’s better to say: “I see you’ve completed more than half of the tasks! You’ve already solved three examples, only two left!”

Instead of: “Well, look at you! I didn't comb my hair! Come quickly! You’ll be late!”, say: “I see you’re almost dressed. A clean blouse, a matching skirt, all you have to do is comb your hair, and you’re ready to go to school.”

Instead of saying: “You copied the exercise, you made mistakes again!” Inattentive! You look at the book, you see nothing!”, say: “It’s enough to correct a few mistakes in a couple of words, and your exercise will get a good grade.”

Praise that creates dependence on others' approval looks like this: “Great! I’m proud of you!”, “Are you doing your homework? Well done!".

Praise that helps a child realize his own abilities and achievements looks like this: “You worked persistently and hard. I think you are proud of yourself!”, “I see your perseverance and responsible approach to doing your homework.”

Descriptive praise is hard work. But it has a very beneficial effect on the child. This is the emotional support that helps a child become a person with an active life position.

Invent phrases of descriptive praise in every situation, and you will notice how the child begins to change.

So, about the reasons

Find out with your child what it is and why he gets bad grades:

1. suddenly he didn’t care at that moment,
2. or he was embarrassed by others when they were called to the board,
3. maybe I just didn’t learn enough,
4. or poorly assimilates school material,
5. or the teacher humiliated him with his remark, and now the child has a complex,
6. he can react this way to scandals in the family,
7. he may protest against something...

And further. Evaluate your child’s potential together with him. What is he more predisposed to, what is he less inclined to? Reveal to him his abilities, show him how easy it is when you know something. He will have an incentive to study! After all, children do not always understand why they study poorly.

Unfortunately, often the teacher does not establish contact with the children. And those, withdrawn, embarrassed or afraid to say the wrong thing, will not ask themselves. That’s why you need to go to school regularly. Communicate with the teacher. Deal with him about grades. Talk about your child's characteristics. The result will appear soon, and it will be positive! And so on in all subjects.

Going to a psychologist? This is an extreme, sometimes necessary. But the main thing is not to get hung up on bad grades and not to kill the child’s desire to learn. Otherwise, his experiences may degenerate into neurosis.

Another deuce, or the right to make a mistake

The right to make mistakes Strict parents will scold, reproach, urge you to be more attentive and study more. But “D” is not a death sentence. This is just an assessment of the level of knowledge, a message that this material still needs to be worked on, sorted out, and understood. A child has a connection in his head - a mistake means punishment. Is it correct? Is it possible to learn something without making mistakes?

Ekaterina Suslova

Teacher speech therapist

Children need to be made to understand that mistakes, failures, disappointments are normal stages of life, these are the lessons that we learn from our actions and decisions. It is important to draw the right conclusion from a negative experience, and not panic or self-flagellate. We don’t scold a baby who takes his first steps when he falls. We pick him up and put him on his feet again. We spend our entire lives learning to learn. Life makes us understand that we are imperfect, but there is nothing to worry about!

Who am I telling?!

Don't get into a puddle! Stay calm! Let me do it myself! I told you so! – how often we say these words ourselves and hear them from other parents. We don't have the patience to wait, to give time to do something wrong. We do not take into account the difference in the experience of an adult who can control himself, and a child who needs to be everywhere, get everything at once, try it for himself. If a child is in danger, then you need to take him by the hand and take him to the side. If there is no danger to life, then let him fall, get up, be late, get dirty, get upset. This way, getting to know the world around you and its consequences will be much more intelligible.

How much is “twice two”?

The child had just been asked a question, he was thinking, and the mother was already whispering “fours...”. How many times in the speech therapy room, when communicating with a child, do I have to ask the mother to be silent and give the child the opportunity to answer. With her fear that he will make a mistake and answer in the wrong way, the mother makes it clear that the child’s value in other people’s eyes directly depends on the correctness of his answers. Is this really so? It is important for me to understand whether the child can think, remember, and solve a problem in his head, and not to get the correct answer as soon as possible. Here the process is more important than the result . Therefore, do not rush to agree for the child, give him some hints, and do not be upset if he makes a mistake. Then he will learn not to panic because of a mistake, but to calmly correct it.

There are others, but mine!

How many times have psychologists called - do not compare your child (husband, mother-in-law) with others, because all people are different. But comparison is inevitable. We always note the difference in the behavior and skills of children of the same age, but for some reason we prefer to draw conclusions not in favor of our child. As a rule, such mothers do not notice that by admiring someone else’s child and being disappointed, they make it clear to their baby that he is weaker than others, and therefore worse. Thus, imperceptibly, children develop an inferiority complex and the habit of comparing themselves with others, highlighting other people's merits and concentrating on their own shortcomings. But “mine is no worse,” it’s just that everyone has their own pace of development, the interests and temperament of people, even the smallest ones, are different.

Being able to admit your own mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and strive to do your job better is the main example of working on yourself that we can give to children. There are no people who don't make mistakes. This happens to both children and adults. And the best thing you can do when pointing out mistakes to children is to support them, help them correct and move on.

Criticism? In no case!

What criticism. After all, you haven’t figured it out... Even if you have figured it out, there is no need to scold the student, much less intimidate him with bad grades. The fear of getting a bad grade at school gives rise again - double fear. Skipping tests and classes will become a system. In general, the child will absolutely not want to go to school.

Meanwhile, worries, fears, complexes - they are bad comrades. All this will only reduce the quality of perception of the educational material. But, and this is worse, aggression will come in their place. As a result, the logic will be ironclad - why study, because they will scold you at home, they will give you bad marks at school.

Therefore, it is better to set your student up in a positive way. At such moments, you can’t do without encouragement. After all, the child must be made to understand that he is loved! Even if he brings you deuces, he says, we’ll definitely figure it out together!

Maternal capital

Women giving birth in 2020 were subject to another extension of maternity capital (MC). A certificate for a fairly substantial amount is awarded to women who have given birth to a second child. Moreover, it is not the fact of childbirth itself that matters, but the number of children. Those. Maternity capital can be received only once. Therefore, for some, it will be given after the third birth, if it was not previously received.

Worth knowing! The MK program has so far been tentatively extended only until 2021. At the same time, starting from January 2020, the payment amount is planned to be increased.

For several years MK was not indexed, so its amount remained unchanged. Inflation compensation will not be carried out for all years; its estimated value will be 4%. The total amount is expected to be 470 thousand rubles. Only mothers should still count on the same MC value for now, so as not to be upset later. Currently, the value of the certificate is 453,026 rubles.

See also: Is it possible to get married in 2021

Support the child!

Explain to him why school knowledge is needed. Give an example of, say, a cleaner and a person in another profession that could attract the child’s attention. Show their capabilities and reality. Very impressive! Or, in the form of a game, show what it’s like to be illiterate among educated people. But at the same time, instill confidence that he can, he will achieve his goals.

It is important to think more, and even together with the child, about a plan for further action. And make sure that he understands that he is still responsible for this or that. This will help improve your academic performance.

In a word, as we see, it is not the children’s fault that they fail at school. At a minimum, we, the parents, and the school. We do so because we deprive children of attention and abdicate responsibility. The school - because more often than not it has no contact with the family and is not interested in ensuring that ALL children do well. And a two, by the way, is not a child’s grade. This is the teacher's assessment... And ours!

How should a child behave?

What feelings should a deuce evoke in a child’s soul? Feeling of shame. That's all. Normally raised children will not hide a bad grade from their parents, because they know that they will not be scolded for it. The child must understand that the main task that adults have entrusted to him is to study well. And he will try with all his might not to let you down. Only a strong personality can speak openly about his mistakes and failures. So appreciate it if your child tells you about failures.

Additional benefits

In addition to benefits for the second child, established at the national level, parents can count on regional payments.
Additional support is provided to low-income citizens, as well as single mothers . The latter will definitely need to confirm their status by presenting a certificate of form No. 25 from the civil registry office.

Also, some cities establish payments upon the birth of a child. For example, in Novosibirsk, parents under the age of 30 receive 10,000 rubles at the birth of a child.

At the birth of a second child, the mother has the right to pay for maternity leave and subsequent childbirth. In the future, one of the parents can go on maternity leave to care for the baby and receive appropriate compensation, but only until the baby is 1.5 years old.

Unemployed persons also have the right to apply for care allowance, but in a slightly smaller amount. In addition, when 2 children are born, all families, without exception, can receive maternity capital. Additionally, the authorities of a constituent entity of the Russian Federation have the right to assign other payments and subsidies to families with children. This point should be clarified separately with the social security authorities or the city administration.

Maternity leave for Chernobyl survivors

When living in the Chernobyl zone, the birth of a child is also the basis for paying maternity benefits.
However, the amounts will be slightly higher than in other cases. The following rules apply:

• 157 rubles are added to the payment when registering in the early stages of pregnancy;
• an additional 20 days are added to the standard vacation period for B&R (140 days);
• In addition to payment for care leave, a monthly supplement of 3 thousand rubles is provided for a child under 1.5 years old and 6 thousand rubles for children from 1.5 to 3 years old.

The right to preferential payments arises only with long-term residence in a special zone. At least 1 year before the child is born in the resettlement zone. And at least 3 years in territories where the right to resettlement applies. Minimum 4 years – for zones with preferential economic status.

Payments to employed persons

The first payment that an officially employed mother of a second child can count on is a registration allowance.
The registration procedure is carried out at the antenatal clinic. The following conditions must be met: the application must be submitted before the 12th week of pregnancy. The benefit amount is 675.15 rubles from 02/01/2020. You can receive the amount immediately after registration or upon receipt of sick leave for pregnancy and childbirth.

The application for payment is sent to the employer. A certificate from the antenatal clinic is attached to it.

Maternity

Based on the Labor Code of the Russian Federation, a working mother has the right to pay for maternity leave. The latter refers to 2 periods - maternity leave (Maternity leave) and leave to care for a newborn up to 3 years.

Features of the purpose of payments:

1. Allowance for BiR (Article 255 of the Labor Code). The leave includes 70 days before pregnancy and the same amount after. It is issued at the 30th week of pregnancy. Only women have the right to leave. The benefit amount is 100% of average earnings. The amount is available upon request in full.
2. Monthly payment when taking parental leave for a child up to 1.5 years.
3. The amount of the benefit in this case will be 40% of the recipient’s average earnings. The family member who is actually looking after the baby also has the right to request a paid period. This could be a grandfather, grandmother, father.
4. Monthly payment when taking care leave for a child up to 3 years old (Article 256 of the Labor Code).

Reference!
Previously, the amount was reduced to a purely symbolic value of 50 rubles. In this form, the benefit was paid until the child’s third birthday. But as of January 1, 2020, this type of benefit has been canceled. According to Law No. 255-FZ, maternity benefits are provided from the employer, but in fact the funds are transferred from the FSS budget (Social Insurance Fund). Therefore, an application for payment should be submitted to the accounting department or the human resources department of the employer.

Clause 2 Art. 12 of Law No. 255-FZ establishes the application period - 6 months from the date of completion of leave under the BiR or from the day the child turns 1.5 years old. Funds are transferred to the recipient's card after 10-15 days from the moment the application is recorded.

If an employee goes from maternity leave to maternity leave, then in order to receive payments for the second child she will need to complete the first leave. It all depends on the timing of pregnancy.

Possible options:

1. Exit from maternity leave for the first child to apply for leave under the BiR for the second child. If the first offspring is not yet 1.5 years old, then you will need to choose which benefit option to receive. At the same time, payment under the BiR for the second child and care allowance for the first are not provided.
2. If the firstborn is more than one and a half years old, then the easiest way is to leave maternity leave and prepare an application for maternity leave.

In Art. 11.2 of Law No. 255-FZ explains that if a woman, without leaving maternity leave, acquires the right to receive benefits for caring for 2 children, then its amount is summed up. The payment assigned to the firstborn and the monthly compensation for the 2nd child are subject to addition.

Payments to non-working parents

It follows from Law No. 81-FZ that an unemployed woman who gives birth to a second child also has the right to receive benefits.
However, this cannot be implemented in all cases. According to Art. 6 payment under BiR is due to an unemployed mother if she lost her job for the following reasons:

• complete liquidation of the organization;
• termination by an individual of activities as an individual entrepreneur;
• completion of the activities of a lawyer and a notary.

You can apply for benefits if your mother does not work, but becomes pregnant and registers with the employment center within 12 months after her dismissal.

If a woman is a housewife and is not looking for a job, then the B&R payment is not provided. The same as the benefit for registration before the 12th week of pregnancy.

At the same time, Art. 13 of Law No. 81-FZ opens up the possibility for a non-working mother to receive a monthly care payment. The basis for lack of work is dismissal due to the liquidation of the enterprise.

To receive payment, termination of the contract must take place within the period:

• bearing a child;
• holidays according to the BiR;
• maternity leave.

In these cases, the calculation of benefits for caring for an infant up to 1.5 years old will be 40% of average earnings for the last 12 months of work.

If you are entitled to both caregiving benefits and unemployment benefits at the same time, you must choose one of the options. Using both amounts is not allowed.

Also, an unemployed mother has the right to submit a request for a monthly benefit if she was not subject to social insurance at all. In this case, the payment amount will be minimal - 6 thousand 752 rubles in 2020. To receive payments, you will need to contact the social security office at your place of residence.

The most likely causes of twos

• Errors, misunderstanding of material

Sometimes the result can be negative. Parents should say: “Let the twos correct the course of your thoughts, and not upset you!”

• Indifference to studies, laziness

The situation is difficult - there is no motivation to study. A consequence of mutual misunderstanding with the teacher, a bad program, or missing material. You should find out what the matter is and try to create motivation for the child, at least by explaining the direct connection between academic success and future well-being, as is practiced in the West. A person must be able to work, withstand competition, and endure failures.

• Failure in the literal sense of the learning process goes quickly, not all children can keep up with it. No sooner have you completed the letters than you need to read fluently, etc. Fs are possible due to insufficient speed of work. Phlegmatic people are unlucky: they are often capable, but slow. Temperament, as we know, cannot be changed, so you need to warn the teacher that the child will prove himself more likely in difficult homework than in a quick survey.
• The program is too complex

Often parents make excessive demands on their child, send him to a prestigious lyceum with many difficult subjects, and send him to school too early. After classes, the child has a headache, he is tired and nervous. “In this lyceum you have to suffer all evening to get at least a C!” - then the parents worry. You should choose a school where studying, although difficult, is enjoyable, where difficulties are completely surmountable and you can get A’s with adequate effort.

There are deuces because of behavior. There are character traits that “contribute” to getting a bad grade: absent-mindedness, inattention, thoughtfulness, self-doubt, anxiety. Helping the child become confident, strong, collected - this is the task of the parents in this case.

A teacher can cause both love for a subject and hatred. A lot depends on the relationship between the child and the teacher. The teacher does not always give grades objectively, and the child, even with good knowledge, may be afraid to answer the lesson. If it turns out that grades are influenced not only by knowledge, but also by the relationship with the teacher, parents should meet with the teacher more often, showing that they know what is happening and are ready to defend the rights of the child. You should not allow the teacher to dictate your will, you should try to establish a cooperative relationship - for the sake of the child. There are cases of obvious incompatibility between teacher and student. If such a situation arises in a primary school, it is better to transfer the child to another class.

A certain percentage of random twos is always acceptable, as long as it does not exceed the norm.

• Conscious refusal to learn

Some children, having decided that they will not become engineers, may refuse to study mathematics, chemistry, etc. In this case, we need to talk about the benefits of general education, that even purely humanitarian professions (journalist, psychologist, lawyer) will benefit from technical knowledge invaluable.