Is it possible to re-educate a man and is it necessary to do so?

How to raise a husband: the secret of success

Mutual understanding between spouses is the basis of a happy family. Any woman wants to see next to her an ideal life partner, whose image was drawn in her imagination in her youth. If you fail to meet a gentleman who matches the ideal, you can start re-educating the existing option. How to raise your husband, gradually turning him into the man of your dreams? This seemingly impossible mission, if approached correctly, will have a satisfactory result.

Factors contributing to success

Psychologists say that it is almost impossible to re-educate male representatives in adulthood without their desire. When the other half points out their shortcomings or tries to prohibit something, this causes open protest and indignation. How to raise a guy to suit you without violating his dignity? The process of re-education will be much easier if:

mutual love between spouses;
there is no influence of parents on their son;
the husband himself wants to change;
a married couple solves all problems together.

The main thing is to have patience and endurance, because the process can take more than one month.

Features of women's tactics

How to raise a man? When entering into a relationship, almost all women think that it can be done quickly and easily. By acting thoughtlessly, young ladies only aggravate the situation, often pushing away their lover and provoking a painful breakup. Raising a man is a long process and does not require haste. It is impossible to completely change a person’s personality, but adjusting his habits and interests is quite possible.

What behavioral tactics should a woman choose so that raising her husband goes unnoticed? The following factors should always be present in the relationship between partners.

Respect

If your spouse is not neat and hardworking, try to unobtrusively convince him that such behavior is inappropriate for the owner of the house. A well-mannered man, realizing his importance, must set an example by his behavior to other household members, so he himself will want to change.

Softness

How to raise your husband for yourself? You should not mold him into a henpecked man, acting with severity and instilling uncertainty in his mind. On the contrary, try to praise your chosen one more often for actions that you like. Come up with a pleasant ritual - a kiss before leaving for work. Within a few weeks, this expression of tenderness will become a habit, and the male representative himself will feel the need to give tenderness and affection to his beloved.

Care

How to raise a husband correctly? It is necessary to surround him with care and attention. Compliment your loved one for a beautiful haircut or a carefully shaved face, praise for a neat appearance and clean shoes. In order to continue listening to odes of praise, a man will always try to take care of himself.

Support

How to make a man obedient? Try to gain his trust. In any situation, do not rush to criticize and scold your lover; rather, help them understand the reasons for the mistake. Gentlemen feel sincere gratitude to a wise woman who can support her in difficult times and will always listen to her everyday advice, accepting her as an equal partner.

Secrets of education

“I’m raising my husband!” – a similar phrase can often be heard from happily married wives. Unnoticed by those around her and her husband himself, by adjusting his behavior and habits, a woman can find a true friend and a reliable protector with whom complete mutual understanding will be established. What are the main secrets of a wife raising a husband?

Start with yourself

If you want to fix your soulmate, start changing yourself. Do you think that your husband is lazy and his favorite pastime is lying on the couch? Pay attention to how you spend your free time. Perhaps you also prefer to idle around than to run the house after a hard day's work. Is it difficult to get your spouse to wash the dishes? Think about it: do you enjoy taking the dishes to the wash after dinner? Start changing and the man, watching you, will try to keep up with his ideal wife.

Leave the right to choose

How to make your husband obedient to your desires? You should forget about being categorical. In any situation, give the head of the family the right to choose. Just build your sentences correctly: offer options that will suit you with any decision.

Practice Tactful Directness

Men often don't understand hints. Simplify understanding between you by speaking directly, tactfully and without unnecessary omissions. Representatives of the stronger sex can interpret even the most transparent hints completely incorrectly, and accordingly you will remain dissatisfied with the result. There is also no need to openly point out to a gentleman his shortcomings - limit yourself to a light joke or indirect ridicule of a similar situation from an anecdote.

Indulge in positive emotions

Praise has a much more effective effect on men than criticism. Raising a husband in submission and constant dissatisfaction on the part of his wife will not bring good results. Influence with affection, feminine wisdom, praising the virtues of your spouse, and he himself will strive for transformation, so as not to disappoint his beloved. The main thing is not to overdo it with praise, otherwise you can contribute to the emergence of delusions of grandeur.

Take advantage of women's wisdom

Do you want to shift some of the household responsibilities to your spouse? Don't ask him to do them immediately. Just stop doing housework, citing fatigue or physical illness. Ask your loved one to wash the dishes, iron his pants, or put the child to bed. He will not refuse and, regularly using such tactics, the woman trains the man to suit her slowly but surely.

Don't make mistakes

Many girls are indignant: “My husband is raising me!”, but they themselves continue to cherish the hope of “reprogramming” their lover in accordance with their own ideals. A man, realizing that he is being manipulated or not accepted for who he is, begins to withdraw and is capable of reacting very negatively to women’s educational maneuvers.

What mistakes should you avoid when deciding to tailor a gentleman to your parameters:

Before starting the educational process, make sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
Only work on your spouse's weaknesses.
Respond adequately to male criticism.
Do not demand or condemn, but in a normal, calm tone, discuss actions and behavior that are unpleasant to you.

Before you undertake re-education, carefully consider all the consequences. After all, you fell in love with a specific person, regardless of his shortcomings and manners. What if you don’t like the result of the changes at all, or what if your lover turns into a boring henpecked man?

dom-isemya.ru

How to re-educate your husband: advice from a psychologist

The content of the article:

Pink dreams
"Broth of Men"
Don't alter a branded item

Men are very different from women both physically and psychologically, this is inherent in nature and we all know about it, but nevertheless we try to measure each other by our standards. Is it possible to re-educate a husband, is it necessary to put pressure on him, try to break him in order to make him more “comfortable”? Changing someone else is an empty idea, although it is very energy-consuming. Better educate yourself. Only true women motivate men to do great things.

Pink dreams

Women, when entering into relationships, can be very demanding, they do not want to accept men as they are, they try to re-educate their chosen one, both externally, by choosing a different style of clothing, forcing him to change his watch or hairstyle, and psychologically, by criticizing his habits, outlook on life, etc.

When a relationship develops like this, it becomes unclear what motivated the woman when she married this man. After all, it is difficult to live together when you do not recognize his characteristics and do not value his values.

Are you looking for tips on how to properly raise your husband, a big spoiled child? In vain. Leave your delusions! Apparently, you think that you are the best, and he is not good enough for you. But your confidence that he will definitely want to change for you is unfounded. And that's putting it mildly. No one owes nothing to nobody.

Your confidence that he will definitely want to change for you is unfounded.

It's better to live real life, not dreams. Why constantly have your head in the clouds and think about how everything could work out with your loved one, and not enjoy what you have at the moment? Is it really more pleasant for you to build castles in the sand than to enjoy the present moment? Enjoy everyday life with a real person, only yours, with his little weaknesses and shortcomings?

If you like to have long conversations and explain to him what he should become in order to meet your ideal, then you will not achieve anything good. You will only receive stiff resistance from a man - he lived quite happily before you, why now should he give up everything and change everything.

And if a man begins to be stubborn, then you are unlikely to be able to boast of a happy family life. Men don’t really like to delve into themselves and don’t want their woman to turn into a “psychologist” who endlessly analyzes his behavior in the family and at work.

How and is it worth re-educating your husband?

Today I want to reveal an important topic that I come across more than once - how and is it worth re-educating my husband?

We will not be talking about extreme cases, but about manipulative subconscious reactions. For example, the desire to make your ex fall in love with you or force you to react differently, give compliments, look, behave or act differently, to re-educate your husband, whether he is a selfish person or a lazy person.

What do you think dictates the Woman’s intention to re-educate her husband?

Selfishness? Lack of love and attention? Maternal instinct? Masculinity in a woman and the desire to rule?

Remember 100 full responsibility. Our world reflects back to us all our inner flaws or pain. That is, we are trying to remake a man or someone else, only from a state of lack and deficiency of some feelings, feelings of inferiority, self-love, joy.

We expect to be made like that, to be loved and to feel like that. Yes. this is an important need. Yes, a Woman really wants this, but if she doesn’t have enough of this feeling, then she will attract exactly the Man who will show her the wounds that have not yet healed in her. And vice versa, a happy and fulfilled Woman, already whole in herself, she hears her husband and gives him the right to be himself, as well as himself.

For example, in childhood, there were many conflicts and quarrels in the family. Or the little girl was simply mentally traumatized. She, an adult, will avoid this at all costs. This is where the remaking and re-education of the husband begins: “You should never be like this” or “I can’t let this happen again” so that it doesn’t hurt me. At the subconscious level, she has formed a template

Is it worth re-educating my husband?

Try observing your thoughts and behavior for a week.

Ask yourself a series of questions and write down your observations on paper:

What do you most often expect from your husband, partner or people around you? In what ways would you like to remake or change them? What to re-educate or teach?

And then, look at your notes closely. Look at what you are missing, what spiritual gap do you want to close with such manipulation? You will definitely need to give this to yourself, to fill this gap so that it no longer drains all your energy.

If you need help, or it’s hard to figure it out alone, I invite you to work together with me.

Live in pleasure, high, be happy, most problems sit in the mind and its projections.

Did you like the article? Click like below or go to the main page of the website “Live with Pleasure!”

liyabruni.ru

⌘ Is it possible to change your character, or How to re-educate your husband? - Read here!

Hello, dear friends!

Today we continue our popular series of articles about the rules of a happy family life.

Previously, we discussed how to determine at the beginning of a relationship whether a marriage will be happy, and where it is better to meet in order to find family happiness.

And in all cases, one rule was implied as if it were self-evident.

For family life, we need to choose a person whose interests are as close as possible to ours.

However, you must admit that following the rules forever is boring.

Actually, what bad thing will happen if you live with a person who has other interests?

Let's break the rules and talk about this today.

Is it possible to change your character?

It is obvious that the rhythm of life of a modern person simply does not leave enough time to get to know each other, look closely, communicate, ask yourself questions about your chosen one, etc.

And further. As you know, water wears away stones. Even if the chosen one lives by other interests, gradually it is possible to change the character of a person. And strong women firmly know how to re-educate their husbands.

After all, let's be honest: in fact, a man often needs wise female guidance and discreet mentoring in order to become the way he should be. Do you agree, women?

Purpose of life: how to re-educate your husband?

For example, according to ancient scriptures, family life is meant to benefit children and society. Therefore, when choosing a spouse, you need to be guided by the knowledge that a family is not created to resolve personal conflicts and problems, but for the sake of strong and stable harmony.

Stop. Because today we are breaking the rules.

Suppose an intelligent woman in her youth confused love with pity and got married.

And after a few years I realized that it was not love, but infatuation, but I decided not to get a divorce, but to slowly re-educate my husband for myself.

...And a happy life began for them...

They spent all their moral strength on solving family problems. The husband didn’t want to change anything - everything suited him. But he was forced to spend his energy at home in exhausting arguments with his wife and began to perform much worse.

His earnings decreased. The wife began to “educate” him even more (her low-earning husband was not part of her plans) and did not notice how she gradually turned into a two-handed saw.

Of course, deep inside they both felt pain and discomfort. But everyone had good goals. And to refuse them was to contradict oneself. After all, everyone defended their own understanding of happiness.

Anyway. They have become of little use to society.

Living in such an atmosphere, their children adopted wonderful role models of behavior, which they then successfully adapted in their difficult destinies.

Purpose of life: to understand the lessons of fate

A misunderstanding of the purpose of creating a family greatly affects a person’s entire fate. It is very difficult when, throughout their entire life together, the spouses never realized that all their difficulties were just learning.

You should not hope that over time you can change the character of another person.

Moreover, by joining such a person in marriage, thinking that over time we will be able to re-educate the husband or wife, we risk ruining the whole fate of both him and ourselves.

Because in this case, family life turns into a chronic conflict of interests and an endless struggle of the sexes.

And what feeling actually lies behind pity? Most often this is not compassion at all. Usually this is banal lust hiding behind lofty words.

Whatever it was.

If we understand all this in time, then we get a good opportunity, instead of family suffering, to find therapeutic treatment for our destiny with a loved one.

Dmitry Bolkhovitin

*Based on materials from the book by O.G. Torsunov "Happy Family Life"

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How to re-educate an egoist spouse

Even in the happiest family life, unpleasant discoveries are possible over time. What to do if you suddenly realized that your husband is an egoist? How to re-educate an egoist and is it possible to do it on your own? And finally, how to save relationships and save your family? We will answer all these questions today.

How to understand that a person is an egoist

Selfish manifestations are found in every person, especially if his childhood was not very good. This is how our psyche works - if a person once did not receive something, then he tries to get it in triple volume.

Yes, no matter how funny it may sound, it’s true - if in childhood a person did not receive the proper and sufficient amount of attention for him, then in adulthood he will seek this same attention in all available ways. However, this cannot always be called selfishness.

In what cases can a man be called an egoist?

A person does not know how to admit his mistakes. He is accustomed to universal love, and not to criticism, and often such individuals react to criticism completely inadequately - for example, they begin to find fault with words, express complaints to a woman about her pronunciation, origin, appearance. In general, to anything, ignoring the essence of the statements themselves.

A guy who makes too many empty promises is probably a deep-seated egoist. He is so concerned about creating the image of Superman in the eyes of others that he forgets about simple rules of decency. Keep in mind, if you ask a man for something and he doesn’t do it, he’s selfish.

If any good idea suddenly becomes his good idea, this is an alarm bell. Everyone knows that it is wrong to appropriate other people's ideas, but a person with a strong selfish character really thinks that this idea you just expressed belongs to him. Well, as a last resort he agrees to co-authorship.

When a person is not interested in your affairs... Well, you understand, right? And no, he's not tired. And I didn’t forget. He really doesn't care how anyone is doing. In his world, only his deeds exist.

You can recognize an egoist man by his good manipulator skills. Whenever you do something for him, think about why this is happening? What is the reason?

Of course, these are not all the signs of a true egoist; each case is individual, and each person is special.

What to do with an egoist

What to do if your husband or boyfriend is selfish? How to deal with an egoist and put him in his place? First of all, you need to sit down and think carefully about how capable you are of doing something. If your husband or boyfriend is selfish, it is possible that he is manipulating you, which means that you simply do not have enough internal resources for any serious actions. Consultations with a psychologist will help here, you will be able to pull yourself together, get out of his influence and you will be able to change your life. However, this option is not suitable for everyone.

Re-educating a husband is not an easy task. Experienced and wise women know that this takes years. But if your case cannot be called too advanced, and you do not want to separate from your husband, then you can try to do it on your own.

First of all, try to talk frankly, express your complaints as softly as possible, be more delicate. It is possible that your husband has simply worked too hard, or that he sees such behavior as some kind of manifestation of courage. Quite often a situation arises that a man just needs to point out the existing problems, and he begins to look after himself and tries to correct the situation.

If the conversation does not help, outline an action plan and strictly follow it.

How to solve a problem

To understand how to deal with an egoist, you need to understand:

how the problem appeared;

what is it expressed in?

what harm does it cause?

how the situation may develop in the future.

This is necessary in order to understand how a person behaves and why. If you are unhappy with your husband, the problem may be you. But if you were able to recognize in his behavior the actions and characteristics characteristic of selfish natures, it is necessary to solve this problem consistently.

Building a line of behavior with my husband

Start by discussing family relationships. Every husband is used to living “by himself”, with the flow of family life, and if you still haven’t fought or threatened with divorce, in his eyes it looks as if everything was fine with you. Try to convey after each of his selfish actions why it is unpleasant for you and what you should do.

Be sure to lead by example

. In many ways, correcting a husband’s selfish behavior depends on the examples before his eyes; in some ways, the essence of the technique is reminiscent of the process of raising children. Talk through everything you do and explain your motives. Sooner or later this will take effect. Yes, it looks funny, but in fact, this is an opportunity for your husband to compare your attitude towards him with his attitude towards you.

Literally - invite him to the table, and emphasize that the dinner was prepared with love for him, because you wanted to please him

. After a few days of such repeated repetition, a person will think about how he expresses his feelings for you? If even the slightest changes follow after this, you can celebrate a small victory.

If the essence of your husband’s selfishness is hidden in the traumas of his childhood, then it’s worth trying this path - try to surround your husband with attention and care. Remember, if he did not receive something from his mother in childhood, he will squeeze it out of you with all his might. And in order to reduce the intensity of passions, and in the future completely get away from selfish antics, pressure and manipulation, start loving him with triple strength. So that it was enough for him.

After some time, he will stop behaving selfishly, and then he will accumulate so much warmth and love that he will slowly begin to learn to give this warmth in the form of care and attention. Here it is important not to miss the moment and not to take everything for granted - encourage your husband for every show of attention.

In general, giving back in the form of gratitude and some kind of non-material reward is an excellent way to re-educate anyone, not just your husband. Reinforce his every step with gratitude, care and responsiveness. Let him finally see that being loving and caring is not just “necessary”, but also simply pleasant.

If you want to live happily ever after with your husband, then teach him to rejoice in the expression of feelings. When a person is praised and encouraged for something, he wants to do it again and again, and when this is followed by a feeling of satisfaction, he does not want to stop at all.

A few final words and tips

Now you know how to deal with selfishness, and you can make some efforts to teach your loved one to be different. Yes, it’s not easy to fight with your husband on this issue, but living with an egoist is never easy.

Finally, I will give advice to those who still doubt that they will be able to do something without a psychologist.

Every person wants to live happily, in harmony with his family, and be proud of it. Gradually convey to your spouse that if he stops being selfish, he will not lose reason to be proud, he will simply be different.

If you cannot determine whether your spouse is selfish or not, talk to your loved ones and listen to their opinions. Sometimes it’s much clearer from the outside. It is, of course, better to communicate without the “culprit of events.”

As soon as you notice signs of selfishness, be sure to put the person in his place. Every person - including you - has the right to live calmly and joyfully, for the sake of themselves and their loved ones, and not to please their husband.

And of course, don’t forget about yourself and your desires! I hope my advice will help you determine whether your spouse is selfish and re-educate him. Make an effort, think everything through well, and you will definitely achieve the desired result.

mirpozitiva.ru

Female perspective: Don’t stop the chrysalis from turning into a butterfly

I think the strangest and most terrible phrase is “My beloved has changed so much since the moment we met,” which is usually said when there is a breakdown in a relationship. Why strange? Yes, because we all change: people, land, nature, life circumstances. It is impossible to be the same person at five and fifty-five years old. Both in appearance and in character. Why scary? Because it becomes the beginning of the end. The end of love, mutual understanding, support and – family.

The desire to rid your partner of shortcomings is a thankless task: it does not make either spouse better, but it drives a wedge into the relationship. After all, who likes it when you are constantly criticized for any little things? Our parents raise us, from the cradle, and the person who comes into our adult life as an adult and accomplished person is simply obliged to accept all our shortcomings along with our advantages. Especially if we ourselves are ready to put up with his or her “cockroaches in the head.”

It happens that a person does not want to get rid of bad habits and things that destroy the health of him and those around him, prevent him from working fully or doing what he loves. Perhaps you can be the best for a sofa with a TV in any guise, but to win the heart of a representative of the opposite sex you need to make an effort. The inner world of a person, according to my observations, is revealed literally in the very first seconds of communication. Intonation, gaze, purity of speech (I mean the absence of swear words), topics for discussion, even gestures - everything literally screams about who is in front of you. You just have to look closely.

Let's return to attempts to reshape the characters of our chosen ones. In my opinion, this is done by those who themselves are full of flaws, but are insanely afraid to show them to others. And also those who are dependent on other people's opinions. A person who is satisfied with himself, knows his strengths and weaknesses, will not care what outsiders think. “You can’t put a scarf on every mouth,” says popular wisdom.

There will always be those who like us and who hate us, who support us or not, who share our views or are against them. However, listening to and following the opinions of others is wrong; you need to compare someone else’s assessment with your own worldview and life circumstances.

And it also seems to me that when a person tries to change his partner, he manipulates him in this way. And again, due to some of our own, sometimes hidden, complexes.

So, if a wife is not interested in anything and devotes herself only to cleaning the house and soap operas, then she tries to lock her husband within four walls: she forbids going to football, hiking, going fishing, and so on. Or an insecure and therefore terribly jealous husband limits the circle of his wife’s friends, controls her phone calls and messages. A lot of examples can be given.

If you don't like how your partner has become over time, take a look at yourself. And first of all, change your own behavior and ways of communicating with loved ones. Often people involuntarily mirror our attitude towards them, transferring it onto ourselves. If I radiate kindness, then people will be kind to me.

Yes, there will always be someone in the crowd who will be rude in response to “Excuse me, please,” but personally I always feel sorry for such people. They are deeply unhappy. And I’m sure: they want everyone to love them. But due to the fact that they are not ready to overcome their shortcomings, it is difficult for them to find a response in the souls of family and friends.

The superiority of one’s own “I” is very disturbing here. They owe me, they owe me, but I won’t change anything, because I was taught that I am good even with all my shortcomings. Why then can’t another person think the same way? After all, he probably received the same educational attitude.

Changes in ourselves are good, it means that we do not stand still, we evolve as individuals. But we really don’t like it when any changes are imposed from the outside. The caterpillar turns into a butterfly only after going through the pupation stage. And if you disturb it during this period and try to speed up its development, you won’t get a full-fledged butterfly. Therefore, I believe that we need to help our loved ones strive for internal and external improvements, with support and care to prove that our attitude does not depend on an ideal figure and flexible character.

Alesya PUSHNYAKOVA.

Is it possible to re-educate a man?

After all, the 21st century, which has brought us so many useful discoveries and inventions, has created one serious problem for girls all over the planet: there are no more princes in the world! There are less than a dozen real princes, they are probably listed in the Red Book and, what’s even sadder, are already married...

Therefore, it is worth paying attention to ordinary men, who, fortunately, are in abundance everywhere!

However... what to do if it seems that the man you like does not live up to the prince, but you really want him to become ideal for you? Is it possible to re-educate a man? The site “Beautiful and Successful” will tell you!

The main question: why re-educate a man?

We will proceed from the fact that our wise readers probably do not get involved with men who they do not like at all and are not suitable for! After all, the “source material” must be attractive in some way, and be satisfactory according to the main parameters!

In general, the “mothball” advice to look for your destiny in a man longer and more carefully has precisely this practical meaning - it is better to build a long-term relationship with a man who himself is as similar as possible to your ideal.

Because re-educating a man is always much more difficult!

Moreover, the site sympaty.net warns that excessive efforts to re-educate a man often bring the opposite effect: the man notices this, becomes embittered and the relationship is shaken...

Therefore, before you try to change something in a man, answer the main question: are you doing this for yourself or for your loved one? What will these changes give him (not only in the context of your relationship!), what advantages will he have in his life?

There must be answers to these questions - we are not talking about training a lap dog, but about helping a loved one! Re-educating a man is really a help: for example, rid him of habits that are harmful to him, broaden his horizons, help develop some “dormant” qualities - gentleness, kindness, creative inclinations, self-confidence, etc.!

How to re-educate a man if you understand that it is necessary?

So, you clearly see in which direction to act.

But! For a person to truly change and re-educate, he must work on himself and change himself! So you can throw away the “whip” right away, it doesn’t work, it only destroys the relationship!

Taboo methods in re-educating a man:

Blackmail (with sex, home-cooked dinners, one’s own good behavior – whatever). Believe me, sooner or later a man will not submit to your conditions, but will find somewhere else what you limit him in, and without any ultimatums!
Direct directive demands such as “Remember, never do this!”, “As much as I can tell you, it infuriates me when you do this, stop!”, etc. Does not work. Men get angry because of this, they generally don’t like it when they are forced, and they especially don’t like it when they force them to change their usual, understandable and liked tactics of behavior, habits, etc.
Hysterics. Women's hysterics with tears and screams break the male psyche like a house of cards in a hurricane! And here it doesn’t matter what topic the cries are about and how constructive the demands are - the form of presentation nullifies all constructiveness!
Pointers to “that guy.” “But your friend Kolya probably helps his wife with cleaning on the weekend!” “We have one guy at work, he never allows himself to be as rude as you - and his boss adores him!” The maximum you can achieve is that the man will hate the characters described!

So what remains, which method is effective? Only “carrot”, in other words – motivation!

It’s good if you can find motivation “from the outside” - so that something changes in a man’s life without your direct actions - so that he sees that the changes are really useful for him. For example, an improvement in attitude from his superiors, if he quits smoking and spends less time in the smoking room, establishing friendly relations with his son, if he walks and plays with him more often, etc.

In general, any positive changes in a person are usually rewarded with some kind of “carrot” from life - another thing is that this may not happen right away, and the man may not associate any success with the changes that have occurred in him!

What motivation can you provide your man?

For example, sincere joy and your good mood if a man does as you ask him! Moreover, not “Oh, well, you finally listened to me!”, but “Wow, you did this, I’m so pleased!” And so every time you notice that he is working on himself and changing something!

Of course, first you should talk to the man once and very gently, calmly and without ultimatums, express what changes in him you would be glad to see. Exactly in this wording! A man must understand that the choice - to change or not - is still his!

The only “carrot” that can be veiledly promised to him (if there are no moments of external motivation) is his own happiness!

Now you know how to re-educate a man! And remember - maximum delicacy and no lectures, you are not his mother!

www.sympaty.net

Re-education and influence?

You may ask, “Well, okay, if you can’t re-educate a person, then perhaps you can somehow influence him?” Of course, you can influence, the main thing is to understand the limits of your influence.

Firstly, you can most strongly influence a person by establishing warm and trusting contact with him. And to do this, you should refuse any criticism and any condemning remarks.

Secondly, to correct his behavior, it is necessary to explain to him his mistakes from his position

, and not from our own. That is, it seems to you that you need to motivate your child’s incorrect behavior with the words “Decent children do not act like that.” However, he wants to look cool among his peers, so it would be much more reasonable to tell him: “You know, breaking glass, of course, you look good, but still not like a hero. But if instead you can earn money, then you will be much cooler than your classmates, because they don’t know how to do this.” That is, you focus not on your ideas about correct behavior, but on his ideas about coolness among his peers.

Another way to somehow influence a person’s behavior is. what you tell him that you would be pleased (convenient/good) if he did this and that. For example, (if you are a girl) you can tell your boyfriend: “You know, it would be very nice and easy for me if you hugged me in such situations.”

Influence should be distinguished from manipulation, because the latter means that you are simply trying to trick or deceive a person into doing something that is not in his interests

. By influencing a person, you show him those aspects of behavior that will make communication in general more reasonable, convenient and enjoyable.

Women's keys to the male ideal

A man is a difficult person to re-educate, who has already formed his own idea of life and his role in it. But maybe not everything is so hopeless, let’s see...

Is it possible to re-educate a man?

It can be done? - No, you can’t: neither secretly nor openly...

All psychologists say the same thing: “A person will never change.” It can be corrected, but that’s where all education and re-education ends.

Let’s then correct the man, if it’s too difficult with educational issues. It's easy to do if you try.

What measures will help re-educate a man?

So, we are trying to re-educate him, looking at the lines and points:

Try to show equality in your relationship if you do not want to give him the position of dominance

Tell him how important he is to you and how much he does for you.

Give your man a lot of affection

It’s as if she’s the last one in your life! It is then that a man will feel how important he is to you and how much you need him.

Control your attention to him

There shouldn’t be a lot of it, otherwise he will get tired and be terribly irritated. In this case, you can safely forget about adjusting it.

Feel free to confess your love

Do this both skillfully and variedly. Try not to repeat words of confession. Remember synonyms. They are also very beautiful.

Listen and hear him out

Try to become a pleasant listener. And the most pleasant listener is the one who makes a knowing look and remains silent, without asking questions with shades of importunity.

Don't swear or make trouble

And when you notice that he himself is tending towards conflict, try in every possible way to avoid this. Erase all the sharp corners in your conversations with him!

Thank him for promises kept and deeds done

Encourage. Tell me that this method applies to children... And who are the men?! They are, in general, eternal boys!

Compare a man with other men, but with bad ones, hinting at his good sides and incredible achievements

The man, first of all, will be incredibly pleased. And he will try to become the best.

This option is tougher, but its use is acceptable if it is skillfully guided. Set conditions in which there are no “extremes”.

This game is not to the liking of almost all men. They hate it when their sociable companion remains silent for a very long time. They get a lot of discomfort from this.

Stop giving him smiles

A man will really miss your smiles, trying to compensate for them with his own smiles, as if hinting at the importance of “returning” yours.

Start a diary or blog

Do everything so that one or the other is found by your chosen one. But first, fill the blog (diary) you created with content. The content should contain all your experiences and emotions. Everything you felt and experienced. Everything you experience and feel now.

How will such actions change a man?

He will treat you more kindly.
He will learn to appreciate and respect you.
He realizes many of his mistakes and will try to correct at least some of them.
He will understand that he can lose you.
He will understand how much you appreciate him.