General rules
Having health problems or being in need, we often go to church to pray for the health and well-being of ourselves or our loved ones. And we immediately get lost among the abundance of holy icons. Which of them should light the candles? You can always ask for protection and patronage from the Savior or the Mother of God.
It is better to pray for health from the icon of the great martyr and healer Panteleimon, as well as from those saints to whom the Savior gave the grace of healing from illnesses and providing assistance in special needs. Each temple is dedicated to a specific saint, to whom parishioners most often turn.
When praying in front of an icon, you should definitely address the saint or saint by name, calling on them to accept your request. When reading the prayer, we be sure to indicate the person whose healing we are asking for. You can think about him, remember his words, his face, the events associated with him. There is no need to be ashamed of tears if at this moment they well up in your eyes.
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The state of mind of a suicide
It is believed that there is a small loophole through which a suicide can be “cleared” in the face of the church - by recognizing him as mentally unstable on the eve of suicide. The diocesan administration can accept papers and evidence from a psychiatrist confirming that the suicidal person was not himself when he committed his terrible sin. In this case, his sin is justified by the lack of free will. Then you can receive the bishop’s blessing for the funeral service and church commemoration. And, of course, placing a candle for the repose in the church.
You can do the same if the relatives of the suicide have doubts whether it was suicide. For example, if the police ruled the death a suicide, but relatives are sure that it was an accident or murder. Relatives have the right to contact the diocese and ask permission for the funeral service. True, in this case it is usually carried out in absentia.
How to light candles
It is best to purchase candles in the temple where they are supposed to be placed. They are consecrated by the abbot and will definitely have an effect. So, you need to do the following:
- Choose a saint to whom our request will be addressed.
- Go to his icon and cross yourself twice.
- Light a candle. It is better from a lamp, but it is also possible from other candles.
- Make sure that the melted wax does not fall into the lamp and flood it.
- Lightly burn the bottom of the candle with fire to place it in a free place and secure it in a vertical position. It is important that our candle does not fall and does not come into contact with neighboring ones.
- Address the chosen saint with words of prayer.
- Cross yourself, bow to the icon, and then light a second candle, if desired. If the prayer is dedicated to a request for one person, you should go to a comfortable place and indulge in memories.
Where and how to light a candle in church for the repose?
Usually in the left wing of any temple there is a kanun - a square or rectangular table with a holy crucifix. Candles are placed on this table in special cells or in the sand. When performing the ritual of lighting a funeral candle, you must remember the following rules:
- Before approaching the eve table with the holy crucifix, you should venerate the analogue icon: it is the main shrine in the temple.
- First they light candles for health, and after that - for repose.
- Before lighting a candle, you need to cross yourself and say in a whisper: “Lord, rest the soul of your deceased servant (name).”
- You need to light a candle from other burning candles. It is not customary to strike matches or a lighter in church.
- If there is no free cell on the eve table for a new candle, you cannot make room for it by removing someone else's burning candles. You can wait until a place is free, or simply place a candle next to the table: other believers will place it in front of the crucifix later.
- You can light a candle in a church only for the repose of a baptized person.
- It is prohibited in church to light candles for the repose of a suicide. A person who commits suicide is considered an apostate. Previously, suicides were not given funeral services or even buried in a cemetery. Nowadays, people who committed suicide while heavily intoxicated by drugs or alcohol, as well as those who suffered from mental illness, can have a funeral service in church with special permission. If the relatives of a suicidal person provide a certificate of mental illness of the deceased to the bishop, they will be able to obtain permission to perform his funeral service and to perform prayers for the repose of his soul. They will also be able to light candles for his repose.
Candles for the repose of a suicide who committed suicide in his right mind can also be lit at home. But this is allowed only to the closest relatives and with the special blessing of the priest. It is worth noting that according to church canons, people whose death occurred as a result of robbery are equated to suicide. This, of course, does not apply to victims of robbery.
If a suicide under special circumstances is allowed to light candles for repose, then it is almost never possible to pray for the repose of the soul of an unbaptized person. In this case, only an appeal to Saint War will help. He is able to put in a good word for an unbaptized person who has suffered death. For Christ, this simply does not exist, so praying for him does not give any result. But once upon a time, mothers often prayed to Saint War for their babies, whose death occurred before they could be baptized. They say that the saint has a special power that can number the deceased as a Christian.
In the ideas of people far from the church and its sacraments, there are many other prohibitions on lighting a candle for the repose. For example, some people believe that they should not be given to women during menstruation. But in fact, in our days, female uncleanness is not a reason for a ban on visiting church and lighting candles in it.
In order to light a candle for repose in church, you must also choose the right time.
Possible prayer texts
You can address the Savior with the following words:
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" Jesus Christ! Have mercy on the sinner (so-and-so), she (he) has sinned (sinned) without number. Lord, forgive her (him)!”
Other words would be suitable for the saint depicted on the icon:
“Holy saint of God Nicholas (or any other name), pray to the Lord for me (or another person for whom you ask).”
It is customary to address the Mother of God as follows:
"Holy Mother of God! Pray to the Lord for the servant or servants of God (the name of a specific person or several names).”
The following words can be chosen for the patron saint:
“Pray to the Lord for me, Saint Andrew (another name), for I diligently resort to you as the main helper and prayer book of my soul.”
The following appeal is suitable for the guardian angel:
“Angel of God, my holy guardian, given from God from heaven to protect me, I diligently pray to you: instruct me in good deeds and direct me on the path of salvation. Amen!"
How to Pray for Unbaptized Dead Babies
As for candles and prayers for unbaptized people, yes, candles and prayers are allowed in the temple.
You ask for goodness for that soul. Exactly with the same logic as you would forgive God for protection, for example, for your plants, pets...sorry for the comparison. Prayer in church for the unbaptized is limited only by your personal remembrance in your heart. But rituals and Eucharistic commemoration, that is, pronounced by the priest during the service, are impossible for the unbaptized. Like any other church rituals in the form of notes, memorial services.
And let me remind you how and where to put funeral candles in the church? For this purpose, in any Orthodox church there is a kanun - a table with the crucifixion of Christ. He is recognized by candles and funeral gifts, alms.
Candles and prayers are also acceptable at home, during home reading, as the ministers of the Church say. A prayer for the departed can be found here.
Archpriest Sergius Vasin, rector of the Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village. Bobyakovo, Novousmansky district, Voronezh region
For an unbaptized person, if he is very dear to you, you can pray at home, in your cell prayer. Commemoration in the Church is impossible, since it is impossible to force a person to become a Christian, even after death. “Go and preach the Gospel throughout the whole universe: whoever is baptized will be saved” - these are not just very important words of the Savior for all believers, this is an obvious truth to which little can be added.
But if a person close to the deceased came to me, I would find something to tell him. First of all, you need to give consolation, hope, so that he prays. Because it is not for us to judge, but the Lord will decide the fate of a person. And we do not know how exactly the fate of unbaptized people will be decided by God. But we know that God's mercy is limitless.
Why was the person not baptized: did he not want to be baptized or did he not have time? Or did he live in China, in Tibet, where no one told him about Christianity? Was his life virtuous?
The Holy Fathers always recommended doing works of mercy in memory of unbaptized loved ones: giving alms, feeding the needy, etc., which is some consolation for unbaptized people in the next world. Apparently, this is connected with the parable of the virgins, the wise and the holy fools, whose lamps did not have enough oil.
Archpriest Dimitry Struyev, rector of the Church of the Icon of the Mother of God “Seeking the Lost” at the Lipetsk youth youth center
What is the general meaning of funeral prayer? Briefly: we ask God to forgive the sins of the deceased. Babies have not sinned. Praying for the forgiveness of the sins of those who have not sinned makes no sense. From this point of view, prayer for those who died in infancy is generally unnecessary, both for the baptized and for the unbaptized.
There is even a special funeral service for baptized infants; In addition, quite recently the Synod of the Russian Orthodox Church approved the text of the “Sequence on the departed infants who did not receive the grace of holy Baptism.”
The practice of praying for the souls of babies is connected with the need of their relatives to show love for them, to continue communication: after all, prayer is also a spiritual connection. And this spiritual connection can manifest itself not only when performing any church rite, but also when praying in your own words. In addition to the rite of burial, we remember those who have been baptized at liturgy and memorial services, and when commemorating unbaptized infants, we can ask the priest to perform the Follow-up for the departed infants who did not receive the grace of holy Baptism, and pray in our own words.
There are various patristic statements about the posthumous fate of unbaptized infants - you can learn more about this from modern theologians. But one thing is certain: one cannot compare the posthumous fate of a baptized adult, who did not become a Christian of his own free will and died without repentance, with the fate in eternity of a child who has not sinned, who did not have time to be baptized.
Source
Priest Fyodor Lukyanov, cleric of the Church of All Saints on Filevskaya Poima, Moscow
Recently, in 2020, in Yekaterinburg, the Holy Synod adopted an important document for the entire Church - “Sequence on the departed infants who did not receive the grace of holy Baptism.” Parental grief requires church consolation, so prayers are compiled specifically for the baby’s relatives. It is important to emphasize that this is not a funeral service.
These are precisely prayers that are in the nature of consoling the relatives of a child who died unbaptized and asking the Lord for a good fate for him. Of course, we know that the baby’s soul will not remain in a place of torment, since it is sinless, but we do not know the exact place. We ask the Lord to rest the baby in monasteries that only He knows. As the Giver of every good, the Lord, of course, gives those children who have not seen earthly light his Light.
Prayer is like a tuning fork: it tunes a person’s soul. Therefore, in our daily rule, morning and evening, we use prayers compiled by the great saints of the Orthodox Church - John Chrysostom, Gregory the Theologian, who with their lives have already shown the correctness of the mood of their souls. From them we accept a model of sighing towards God, so that our souls are not carried away either into excessive feelings, or, on the contrary, into a certain spiritual dryness.
If a person lives a church life, then, of course, the Lord will accept any sigh from his heart, no matter how it sounds. Because the Lord accepts any prayer, but the most important thing is that it is addressed to Him.
How to light candles for yourself: features
By the way, the priest drew attention to the fact that a burning candle is a symbol of the supplicant’s love for God and the saints. If you do not pray, even in your own words, a simple formality will be useless. The question often arises: is it possible to ask for yourself? Necessarily! As an example, appeals to the guardian angel and patron saint are given. They are asked to pray for health and help with our needs.
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Many people remember from childhood: “Pray for others, then you too will be rewarded.” This is the instruction of the Church Fathers. It is not outdated today, so it would be correct to first light candles for your loved ones and then for yourself.
It is advisable to do this whenever we come to church. But if a need arises (illness or vital needs), then you should go to church on purpose. It’s better to choose the one where we go regularly, although we can visit any temple that is convenient for us if we are traveling. Believers strive to get to ancient, sacred places.
Sin of suicide
A person who directs all his strength in his last hour to take his own life closes himself off from God and cannot be saved. This is the official position of all Christian churches - Orthodox, Catholic, and Protestant. And all posthumous rituals, masses and prayers are aimed at helping the soul to be saved, to beg God’s forgiveness for this person and to achieve its liberation from purgatory.
It is believed that each prayer reduces the number of punishments that the soul of the deceased undergoes in purgatory. In the Middle Ages, rich and noble people paid huge sums to the church so that the clergy would pray often, regularly and for a long time after their death. The rich believed that this way they could avoid most of the punishments in limbo.
But if a suicide cannot be saved, then what purpose do prayers and candles for the repose serve? The Christian Church gives a direct, albeit unpleasant answer - none. If the sacred texts say that a suicide is forever closed to God, then no memorial masses, funeral services or prayers can help.
In the Orthodox tradition there is a prayer for suicides - this is a prayer to the martyr Varus. It is read for both suicidal people and the unbaptized. But it is rare that a priest agrees to read it.
Candles for loved ones: features
We worry about loved ones, their health and well-being. It’s good if we know their guardian angels, as well as their patron saints. Then you can put candles to their images. Most often we worry about the health of those who are sick. Sometimes while we are in the temple we notice that the candle goes out. This scares us, we begin to panic and wait for bad news about the fate of our loved one. Sometimes this happened to me too.
The priest explained that there was nothing bad connected with this. A candle may go out due to wind or a poor-quality wick. Sometimes people just didn't keep it near the fire long enough. But if we witness a similar situation, we should light the candle a second time. If the problem is the wick, then you can buy a new one. The main rule is that the fire of love for the Lord must burn.
You can light a candle for several people at once. Then it is important to indicate the name of each person in prayer and remember and think about everyone while standing at the icon.
When and for how long should funeral candles be burned?
Having figured out where exactly to place the candles for the repose, it’s time to familiarize yourself with the timing of the start of such a procedure. It turns out that the church advises starting to perform the ritual on the day the person died, and continuing it for at least 40 days, thereby illuminating the path for the soul.
How often to repeat this later depends on your personal desires; the main thing is not to confuse where exactly to go from the church threshold.
We hope our advice helped you fully understand the issue.
