how to sleep with a friend

sleep with my wife's friend

Good afternoon I want to share my story with you! Why? Because it seems to me that I’m up to my ears in mud... I want to apologize in advance for my Russian))) I live abroad. . I haven’t written in Russian for 12 years now,) here’s my story, it’s very long: (... it all started when I was 15 years old... now I’m 23.. a friend introduced me to a guy, he was 18 then... so we started talking, of course I fell in love it was something; it looked like this, he behaved so normally, they recognized each other, then they somehow cut it and off they went... all the time it was like it’s my fault that he’s yelling at me or something else... but some country, an eternal change of mood, he loves, he dies, he could not call for a month, he wanted to yell, humiliate... etc. but we were on the phone all the time because there were 400 kilometers between us. We lived in different cities, one country. And apparently noticing that I I always agree with him. I thought that the silent one would not go anywhere, he decided to marry me, it was happiness for me... I thought, finally, I will find a family. Everything will be fine... but my parents were against it; then I didn’t understand them, but I understand because there was no respect whatsoever on his part... but I still achieved my goal. We are Muslims. . And with us it’s a little different... and so his side asked for my hand. Everything went well. Now we are engaged, I’m happy. . It seemed to me that he was happy too. . But no, then I found out that he had a Belarusian girlfriend 7 years older than him.. well, he loved her... and I was a fool and didn’t want to understand this when everyone told me this, I didn’t believe anyone, I only believed him in his lies!!!. My mother knew all this, she was shocked by me, she said what was happening to you. Open your eyes. . He doesn't need you. .. like there were rumors that he said that he was getting married for the sake of the passport he would receive, etc. but no, my eyes did not open soon (((. here in my homeland in Russia, there was a conflict between my relatives and his... that’s when it all started... in the end, my side refuses, like no, we won’t give up our girl for you. .. I’m hysterical... we need to break up... I feel bad. I don’t know what to do with myself... and so he offered to kidnap me, this is the norm here, so to speak... and I, a fool, agreed and was in seventh heaven... (fool:()... but I didn’t think about the consequences... After all, then mine was refused because they received a disrespectful attitude from him... and I didn’t understand it... in general, he came and I left with him... my mother is in a panic, shame how could you... I’m a fool... I didn’t care... so in the end, mom and dad got him to bring me back... I asked him not to do this... because there would be gossip and all that... he still brought me... it was terrible at home... mom and dad were in despair... After that the dirt started... like she slept with him... she came home pregnant. Etc. and that’s exactly what I meant to him... he didn’t care... apparently. A year has already passed since that incident, and he is still looking for an apartment. .. it hurt so much. . Everyone laughed at him... and at me. . But he wasn’t looking for an apartment, he was walking with her... she didn’t know anything. .. he didn’t want to marry me... then his mother took him by the throat.. I thought if within a month you don’t marry her. then you no longer have a mother... they knew that he loved his Lena... they were against... like We don’t need a peasant woman... only a Muslim woman... that’s it... he then finds an apartment on December 1st, we have a wedding... but we had such a relationship, he could not call or write for months... I waited... the position of our relationship was this: I am forever a stupid fool. .always on my knees. And he is on a white horse. . That is, I was always humiliated... I thought that this was how everything should be. .. I thought that I was a stupid fool, as he told me, and that I would never achieve anything... that’s how it was for us... and then on December 1, 2007, the wedding... 2 weeks left before the wedding. .. vanity in short... I had pleasant troubles... I thought that's it... now Everything will be fine))) and then on December 1st the wedding. . He calls me and says I only have 200 euros, no more money. .. ask your mom for a short answer .. I’m like, okay. .. I tell my mom, mom, give me a little money for the first time, like... she immediately understood.. I never asked my parents for money... my conscience didn’t allow it.. is she like that? And I, yes he…. She’s a daughter, I swear if you refuse him right now, I won’t marry him, I’ll make this holiday in honor of the fact that you sent him.. and that this shitty asshole won’t be in our lives anymore. .. I certainly don't. .. (((why my mother was opposed... because he always asked me for money... and the money that his parents gave as a betrayal, he took 1,500 euros as a scam... my mother said he is not the one you need... day wedding, he arrived, guests, cakes. Everything was as it should be, he was alone with a dead face: (((everyone was shocked what happened to him. everyone asked me... I didn’t know what to answer. ... and so he took me, we arrived at the apartment.. the apartment was one room... I liked everything...))) he is dead in his thoughts... then we talked, he said that he broke up with Lena... and cried... and then I think, well, somehow I’ll resolve this situation and he will forget about her... but it wasn’t here... for half a year he suffered, cried, drank... kicked me out of the house, said why are you sitting at home, let’s get a job... And when friends came... he took me out of the door like it won’t be nice, all the men and you are here.. go take a walk like... and I very often sat on the stairs for hours... very often... I cried in the place with him, asked him to go talk to her... he didn’t, he was ashamed... but she didn’t know that he had broken up with her because to get married. .. then she found out about it. .. and somehow she found out my mother’s number. . They talked... she was shocked. .. and said I’m very sorry for your daughter... so little by little he began to come to his senses. .. but the scandals did not stop... he drank. I was walking. .. I was patient... I couldn’t get pregnant, my body just needed time due to stress, it didn’t work out for us... we lived and fought... I got pregnant. I’m finally thinking about it. . No.. humiliated.. beat... I was always silent, even this infuriated him.. and I think, well, why add fuel to the fire. ..and he was furious .. always bringing her to her ... telling you to never be like her .. you will never achieve anything in life. .. I cried... I began to believe in it myself... and I sank deeper and deeper into it... believing that I was nothing. .. and that this is the only attitude I deserve. ..closer to the birth, my mother asked us to move closer to them. Mom felt everything... this was the only chance... so we moved there... and it was on that day, November 1, 2008... that contractions began. .. I didn’t understand, I thought this was how it should be. .. he left with friends to pick up the rest of the things that were left. .. on the morning of November 2 I am in the hospital. . I'm 8 months old and contractions have started. The doctors decided to do a caesarean section. .. and he’s still not there... he and his friends went for a walk... to the sluts... I gave birth to a boy... there were problems, I almost suffocated. .. ate ate saved... and he finally showed up... my dad was ready to kill him.. everyone was so angry... well, I was playing... came home... and he was full of feelings... asking for forgiveness for everything he had done. .. I was happy. .. hugged and kissed him…. Think. . Well now that's it. .. Everything will be fine. ….but no. .. it all started again. .. beat. Screamed... I was the biggest dirt in the whole wide world. ... and beat the child... :(((I felt very bad... and this went on for another 3 years... in the end... I started blinking my left eye... due to nervousness... and inappropriate behavior... I have to... hahaha, you're a fool... and I started telling everything to my mother.. Mom was shocked.. then she said, without the blessing of her parents, daughter, remember... No one will ever be happy.... I realized my mistake.. The biggest mistake in my life ... my mother helped me get out of depression... the first stage I began to realize what kind of person lives with me... so... then his sister decides to come in the hope that we will help her settle here... well, of course, yes yes.. let's do what we can let's help... His side thought that he could do everything and would help... and so she came here... I, of course, was afraid of her, I thought damn... there was another one... like she would drink blood.))) but no... she and I are very became friends. .. The very first day I told her everything... everything that was boiling in my soul. .. and how their mother talks at me... for no reason. And everything... she was everything to me. Sister. Girlfriend. Mom... something like this... she started asking her brother for help... but he’s a natural dumbass, he can’t do anything. Doesn't know the language. . Not a damn thing... but I know what’s going where. .. and automatically I started helping her. .. helped everyone .. work. Apartment. Furniture. .. but during these intervals I was not at home all the time, I was with her here and there... she lived in a boarding house for refugees. .. I helped with this so that she would be given permission for an apartment. .. but no. .. and that’s why I had to run around. .. although she heard him shouting at me because of her .. because I’m with her. .. I didn’t understand .. how could this be possible, it’s his sister. .. I was crying, nervous... she was in shock. ... I’ll be brief, I did everything .. and then she began to raise her tail .. Everything that I did ... she began to present it as if he did it .. brother ... I was so .. painful .... I was offended... it turns out that she was taking advantage of me. ...despite the fact that he called her and me sluts... so much so. .. perhaps she saw how I was already beginning to hate him... so her position changed... what happened was that we quarreled... I stopped communicating with her to this day. .. a lot of dirt. .. I don’t want and I can’t... That’s it. .. while helping his sister, I realized that I’m not a fool, that I can do anything and I’m not a freak... I began to love myself. ..)))) to this day he can’t do anything without me... always me before me... and it infuriates me. .. at the moment the position of our family is this: he is jealous. To everyone, to my dad, even to everything. .. he doesn’t need anyone, neither my relatives nor anyone... and I shouldn’t allow myself to communicate with anyone... he’s going crazy... and I don’t give a fuck))) that’s enough. .6 years of this hell... I can’t take it anymore. .. he is a natural zero... it infuriates me that I have to do everything.... you see... he swears his love to me. .. but I’m disgusted… disgusting and rotten…. I always ask for a divorce.. I immediately go to the bathroom, lock myself and eat to end my life. ... oh, how this torments me... everyone says you don’t know how to lead him... but how disgusting I am about this. .. we're not very good in bed. I'm cold... I don't want to. ..I’m closed... all these 6 years I’ve been lying on the couch or at the computer... well, how can this be... I don’t strive for anything. . It’s like it’s not life but death... I’m already used to the fact that I’m the active one in the family... sometimes it infuriates me... it sits on my neck. .. and suddenly his love woke up. .. ugh…. We always have arguments to sort out, like kindergarten, some stupid grievances... one wrong look on my part has already taken offence. ...at least someone would take it away from me... I would be glad. Just like that, girls. .. just know what I think .. so he says that God will punish me for everything because he supposedly loves me and I’m playing... but it’s all bullshit. .. I’m really afraid, I don’t know what to do. .. can you recommend something? .. … your opinion.

I slept with my friend.

Why am I not like everyone else...?

When we realize that we are somehow different from others, we are overcome by panic, fear, and shame. We are trying to squeeze ourselves into generally accepted frameworks. What to do when a square tries to fit into a circle shape? What to do if you slept with a friend and love her. Not only is it inconvenient, but the feeling of inadequacy haunts you, no matter how hard you try to turn water into fire. There are an infinite number of extraordinary situations, just like there are extraordinary people. We are all together and each one of us is unique, we may have certain characteristics, but we are different.

The beginning of questions to yourself.

You look around and realize that loneliness weighs on you because friends are an integral part of our lives. We experience stress and problems together, most often this brings us very close, and the need arises for constant communication with each other. And against the background of hormonal changes and physiological maturation, sometimes due to complexes, sometimes due to deeper reasons, it begins to seem that this is a person with whom you care about being close. But not everyone wants or is ready to express deeper feelings. If you look at the person next to you and understand that this is more than friendship, then it’s good if the person reciprocates, and same-sex or different-sex is secondary. It’s also important to decide whether this is really the only possible way to be happy next to another person, physiologically as well. How to understand what really happens to you when the time comes to desire and be desired?

Awareness and understanding...

It is difficult to answer the question: “Why is heterosexuality not close to everyone?” This can be for many reasons from: “well, this is how I was born” to “something went wrong”

Sex with a friend. Possible reasons.

The most common ones, which there is no point in disassembling:

it’s fashionable, an attempt to stand out;
drank, lonely, unclaimed, hormones do not give rest, and such an experiment happens;

More compelling reasons:

even in childhood, a girl may notice that her friends are closer to her, but boys do not arouse any interest;
unsuccessful relationships with men, from rape to negative experiences of long-term and exhausting relationships;
if the mother was nearby, but did not pay attention or she was not at all in the girl’s life for one reason or another;
parents wanted a son, a daughter was born, the girl is trying to live up to expectations, the parents demand achievements, they are only focused on their daughter’s success, be it sports or a grade in physics, the demand to be the best;
the father treated his daughter with disrespect, constant criticism from him. As a result, the girl feels rejection and lack of interest on the part of her father. This leads to overcompensating behavior, the girl looks at the male role as something worthwhile and more worthy;
girls suffering from body dysmorphic disorder. They think that other girls and women are more attractive. Seeing themselves as ugly (and most often these are quite pretty and attractive girls who underestimate themselves for a number of reasons, see above), they admire and excessively idolize girls and women who attract the attention of men.

Causes and their consequences

Most of the reasons are from childhood, and it may not be one of them, but several at once. Girls who act masculine are not necessarily interested in their own kind; most often the opposite is true - they are feminine and sophisticated.

One of the main reasons is a lack of maternal love , then a lack or complete absence of girlfriends. The deification of a certain woman begins, a teacher, for example, it seems that she can give and compensate for the lack of love.

Most often, over time, women are drawn to their own kind; in men, as a rule, this is inherent from the very beginning, plus accompanying factors. That is, because of women’s emotionality, introspection, deep analysis of their feelings and the feelings of others, they are susceptible to seeking love and confirmation of their importance from a person who is not indifferent to her. Who this person turns out to be is secondary. For centuries, women have fallen in love with not very worthy men, there are so many stories about how good she is, and he, a slob and almost a supporter of the Darkness, and she loves.

Something in common.

The scheme is simple, it sees familiar features and catches something close, this is most often in the subconscious, something from childhood, it could be some insignificant detail. For example, she loves Caesar salad, and he loves pizza, but what they have in common is the presence of cheese. Two different dishes both in appearance and content, but there is a common feature - cheese. The fact that the salad has Parmesan and the pizza has mozzarella doesn’t really matter, it’s cheese. This is how a woman clings to the elusive threads of her emotional attachment dating back to childhood.

One of the main female purposes is love. She must be filled with it and then she is happy. It’s like a vase, at the very bottom is the love of parents, then the love and recognition of girlfriends, then the love of a man, the love of a child... And self-love is formed in parallel. If something is missing in this vase, a black hole is formed that cannot be filled. The absence of one of the components breaks a hole and calls into question the significance. Hence the attempt to fill the void, the search for Caesar, who is pizza, unsuccessful experiments. The feeling of being a man in the desert who cannot quench his thirst.

The main thing is... feeling?

Filled with self-pity and complexes, unable to see the right person in the crowd, we can look for intimacy and love from a friend and girlfriend. It doesn’t matter at all who it will be, the main thing is how you feel.

You can date and sleep with a man for a long time and still not be happy. Or you can once succumb to some emotions and then understand that your happiness is your friend. And there is no need to panic, because the main thing is not the form, but the content, no matter what gender the person is who makes you feel happy. If the puzzle has been completed, the gaping hole in the soul has been filled, meaning has appeared, if there is no more suffering from someone’s dislike, then what difference does it make whether it is a man or a woman who contributed to the transformation? The spiritual goal of any person is harmony, and love is the light that allows you to see your destiny and your path.