Life of a young mother
The life of a young mother (harsh reality) About the image The slender beauties depicted in magazines with impeccable makeup, beaming with maternal love and carelessly, as if without any effort, holding cheerfully grinning models of babies (or maybe stuffed animals) in their hands, can in no way serve as an example for you ! A real mother is a zombie with crazy eyes and tangled legs, who doomedly drags a wobbling stroller through the park, in which her beauty screams in a bad voice. At home she walks around in a tattered robe and with unkempt hair, eats scraps of porridge, sausages and dumplings, and is ready to kill her own husband if he is late from work for even 2 minutes, for which she quietly hates herself. And sometimes loud. Deal with it. Everyone goes through this, but for some reason almost no one admits it. Buy yourself more fashionable robes in advance and change them often. At least some variety. About sex NO sex after childbirth!!! That is, only maniacs want it, for whom even a baby bottle with a nipple evokes indecent associations. Normal mothers fall into bed in the evening, exhausted to such an extent that the thought of harassment from their husband also causes nervous spasms. Therefore, it is better to prepare your spouse for this sad discovery in advance, and even better - to shift some of the troubles about the child onto him, after which he will also become tired. About mutual understanding If your child is crying, and you can’t calm him down and you’ve already given up, don’t be shy - cry with him. I guarantee that after just two minutes of your genuine lamentation over your ruined life, your child will begin to smile, or even laugh boisterously. Babies love to watch adults cry. They are ready to revel in this spectacle for hours. About complementary foods The best way to introduce a new food to your child is not to give it. It is best to turn your back to him and pretend to be greedily devouring the suspicious contents of the jar. Not a single normal child can resist such a provocation, and if you are not quick enough, he will even swallow the lid. The main thing is not to actually try this crap. About complexes: Don’t let the mothers you know in the park trample you into the dirt with stories about the successes of their young geniuses. Every mother wants to brag about her child, so tell us too! Key table: “And my child eats homemade cottage cheese with such pleasure!” (yes, that dry, sour and disgusting-tasting substance that comes out when you melt baby kefir with calcium gluconate) - “Once I managed to stuff three whole spoons into it.” “And ours teeth erupted without any problems!” “To be honest, I don’t remember a damn thing - the first year was a complete nightmare, and my memory hastened to get rid of it.” “My child has been sleeping in his crib since birth!” - “Yes, and I get up to rock him five times a night, and at four in the morning I give up and take him to bed.” “Breastfeeding is so easy and pleasant!” “Except for three mastitis, wet T-shirts, a strict diet, teeth being sharpened on your chest and the inability to go anywhere for more than two hours.” “I carry it in my arms only when absolutely necessary!” - “that is, only five to six hours a day.” “- artificial feeding is so easy and pleasant!” - “especially when you have to crawl out of a warm bed on an unheated autumn night and trudge to prepare a mixture, after which you cannot sleep for an hour, and the child is covered in a rash like a leopard and itches like a cat with lichen.” “I sometimes walk with him up to 8 hours a day!” - “one day I lost my keys and had to wait for my husband to get home from work” “he already speaks so well!” - “I can isolate from the indistinct stream of sounds “gee!”, “la?” and “vyga”, I wish I knew what it means” “- he’s so smart and doesn’t interfere where he shouldn’t” - “after I gave him a good slap in the butt a couple of times” “- my husband takes care of the child for a long time and with pleasure ! - “Yesterday he held it under his arm for an hour and a half, sitting in front of the TV with hockey.” “I can do everything!” - “a housekeeper comes to see me five times a week” “-I manage to do everything and it doesn’t bother me at all!” - “a housekeeper and a nanny come to see me five times a week” About the development of fine motor skills Buy a bag of beans, a bag of lentils and a bag of millet and hide it away. The only thing a child under one year old will do with them is grab them by the handful and scatter them around the kitchen, thoughtfully admiring the result. To develop fine motor skills, it will be much more productive to scatter a handful of stale bread crumbs in front of the child. Know-how! It should be patented)) About self-control Learn and if something happens, repeat two mantras: “This will all pass” and “He will definitely grow up.” No, they don't help at all. But at least six words will be added to the child’s vocabulary besides “stop, give up, shut up.” About proper nutrition The 5 most popular dishes among young mothers are unhealthy and tasteless, but quick to prepare. 1. dumplings 2. sausages 3. crab sticks 4. bread 5. salad of dumplings, sausages and crab sticks with bread. About guests Do not take your child to visit childless people. Not in the sense that it looks like boasting, but because of the difference in your psychologies. No matter how much excitement the owners feign, they are not at all moved by the sound of a child’s cry and the spirit of a pooped diaper is not sweet, especially if you change it with a sweet smile right on their sofa near the festive table. About constant supervision Children can crawl. Moreover, they know how to climb, and mostly where they don’t need to. Therefore, where it is not necessary should be barricaded so that even the special forces cannot pick the door, and where it should be divided into two halves - where it is necessary and where it is supposedly not necessary, so that the child retains the illusion of freedom. For example, tie the handles of cabinets with glassware, leaving them open with plastic ones and closed, but not tied, with pots. Rest assured, the child will go straight to the closed one and will enthusiastically poke around in it for half an hour. The next day you can open it and close it the next... By the way, keep in mind that soon children will pick out even something that is tightly stuck. About domestic injuries By the year, the expression “were you dropped head down from the stove as a child?” will take on a completely different meaning for you, because by this age there will simply be no furniture left in your apartment that your child would not fall head over heels with for educational purposes. You will also become familiar with the sayings in all their glory: “no matter what a child amuses himself, only would not cry” (which, translated into modern language, sounds like this: “If you choked on my cell phone for two hundred bucks, just shut up” and “not diarrhea, then scrofula” (this is for the section on complementary foods) About maternal love. Attacks of maternal love overtake you mainly in two situations: when the child is sleeping and when you are bragging about him. Control yourself: children really don’t like being woken up - even by passionate kisses, and from the outside it looks like an exacerbation of schizophrenia - when you talk about yourself in the plural, you roll your eyes and splash your interlocutor with saliva of admiration. Childless people, out of habit, are very frightened. About fanatics In any butuzo-walking park there will certainly be a group of mothers who, foaming at the mouth, will preach to you that a child cannot get bored, spanking him on the bottom is sacrilege , and calling him an asshole is blasphemy. Politely agree and quietly get lost among the trees. There are also many religions, and this does not mean at all that you should stupidly join the first sect you come across. It’s best to organize your own and walk around with a poster “I hate children who cry and dogs that bark” hanging on the stroller and a badge with the image of the ideological leader Freken Bock on the chest. I assure you, you will have no less adherents, half of them will also run away from the above-mentioned luminaries of matrimonial love. Despite all of the above and much, much more, your life will seem irrevocably ruined to you, and this is NORMAL!! AND THE WORST thing is that by ten months you won’t give a damn about it! After all, now you have a small bummer who has your sly smile and nasty character. Be strong, young mothers!!!
Why is postpartum depression dangerous?
Sometimes it is difficult for a woman to cope with her condition without outside help. In this case, there is a risk that depression will last for many months, only getting worse.
Symptoms of severe depression include suicidal thoughts, constant feelings of anxiety, and in rare cases, hallucinations.
These signs may also be a signal of the development of postpartum psychosis, which requires urgent qualified treatment.
The danger of severe depression also lies in the fact that the mother’s condition is easily transmitted to the baby.
Self-doubt, anxiety and fear are far from the best conditions for the proper development of a child.
Mother's depression affects the baby's perception of the world even in infancy. Children raised in such an atmosphere are more likely than usual to suffer from problems with concentration, speech, and socialization in society in the future.
Deviations in the development of the nervous system are possible: hyperactivity or overly passive behavior, nervousness, a tendency to depression.
Fatigue
Every minute of the day, and often at night, the baby requires attention and care. Feed, rock, play, buy - and this is not the whole list. But there are other responsibilities around the house, and you can’t offend your husband with attention.
Mom, who has not slept half the night, feels exhausted and broken in the morning. But there is still a whole day ahead. It’s good when in the first one and a half to two months there is someone nearby who can support you: free you from household duties or sometimes take your baby for a walk.
It is important that every day a young mother has 2-3 hours that she can devote to herself, to finally sleep, read, go to a beauty salon or just take a walk.
#HateRostov
Koroleva and Maskhutov moved to Moscow. Users of social networks gasped: if in Rostov the family somehow made ends meet, why did they move to the capital? Lada posted posts with the hashtags #lovemoscow and #haterostov. Later in the interview, the girl explained that she does not like, for example, her neighbors who spread rumors about her. The girl called her fellow countrymen “foulbrood people.” The Queen planned to participate in another program on the federal channel, but it refused to film it, suspecting it of PR and collusion with a food delivery service. Lada was upset and insisted that these were fictions, there were no deals and she was not getting anything from her fame.
The girl described her every step online. Users concluded that Lada “presses for pity.” For example, she posted a video where she explained how difficult it is to go to orders hand in hand with a child, and also complained about her husband. According to Lada, Seliverst did not help her. She invited him to live separately, but he “stayed in” with his dog when she rented an apartment in Moscow. The girl said that she could not and did not want to support him as well.
Lada offered intermediary services at the Sadovod market. She posted posts where she explained the terms of cooperation: the girl would purchase the necessary goods, and then send them by mail, receiving a percentage of the transaction as a reward. She encouraged those who placed orders to post positive reviews about her. Suddenly a message appeared: “Instead of the Gardener, I’m going to the maternity hospital!” So the young family was replenished with another daughter.
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Dissatisfaction with your appearance
Excess weight, dark circles under the eyes, unhealthy complexion - all these are other reasons for worry. You have no time to play sports, do makeup, or choose outfits. And if you have an hour or two free, then you want to spend this time in peace and quiet, and not in a noisy shopping center.
Still, don’t forget to take care of yourself. A neat, slender young mother evokes admiration and attracts attention. Cleanse your skin before going to bed, wash your hair, apply a light foundation, do a manicure - all these are simple manipulations that can give you a feeling of happiness.
Changes
Your life will change and it is impossible to prepare for it. Previously, you belonged only to yourself, you could break away at any moment and unexpectedly go to another city for the weekend. Now everything is different.
Day after day, a series of events is repeated: feeding, changing diapers, walking, sleeping. And there is no end to it. My husband is at work, my friends live at their own pace. Your life is subordinated to a small newborn lump. What can be done about this?
Just accept it as a fact and stop regretting the lost freedom. Believe me, a little time will pass and you will be able to return to your favorite job or other activities. It often happens that the birth of a child changes the woman herself, her view of the world, and she discovers new talents and opportunities.
Alienation with husband
Some women think that with the advent of a child, their relationship with their husband will change for the better. However, if the spouses had any problems before the baby was born, then after the birth they may worsen.
Even an ideal couple can have misunderstandings. To avoid communication difficulties, try to talk with your husband more often, talk about how you spent your day and take an interest in his affairs. It’s very good if you manage to find time to be alone with your spouse: go for a walk or have lunch in a cafe.
“Plays games, doesn’t help”
The interest of Russians in the life of a young working mother did not subside. Lada herself warmed it up in every possible way, posting stories about life on her pages. She posted a video where she talked about her workdays with her little daughter in a stroller. She wrote, for example, that some orders are easy to fulfill, and some are not so easy: if the stroller does not fit into the elevator, you have to carry your daughter, the stroller and the box.
The Queen complained that her husband did not earn money, but mostly lay on the couch and played games. At the end of last year, the girl, along with her mother and husband, was invited to a talk show. Seliverst disputed his wife’s accusations, claiming that he gives her money, works at a metal warehouse, and also takes third-party orders for minor repairs. Lada said that they live in an apartment that the state allocated to her husband as an orphan. True, it turned out that part of the funds actually came from Maskhutov’s payments, but they would not have been enough if Lada’s mother had not given her maternity capital to buy the apartment.
Obviously, participation in the talk show made a lasting impression on Lada. The girl stated that she wanted to work as a model and actress. But in order to feed her daughter and her careless husband, she has to be a courier mother.
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